Fantasy Baseball Advice

Dan Haren was traded to the Angels for a terrible pitcher and some prospects.  On a real baseball note, the Diamondhacks got had like they were taking cards from Ricky Jay.  I think the desert sun’s baked their brains.  To make a deal in the major leagues, you see what the Yankees will give you then you dangle that deal in front of all other clubs. The Yankees will give us their top prospect and dinner with Rudy Giuliani, can you beat that?  Here’s our top prospect and Bobby Grich will do your personal taxes for two years.  Deal!  On a fantasy note, this is about as lateral of a move Haren owners could’ve hoped for.  The league change is a negative, but the park change is a positive.  Also, if your pitcher gets traded into the AL, the AL West is the place for them.  The M’s and A’s are weak and the Rangers are less strong away from Arlington (the Angels are done playing in Arlington until the last weekend of the season).  The Angels do get the Red Sox twice, but also the O’s, Royals and Indians.  The only real red flag for Haren is his 1st/2nd half splits, but that was a problem prior to the trade.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before going into the roundup, I wanted to tell everyone our fantasy football site is doing sign ups for their fantasy leagues.  Anyway II, here’s the roundup:

Joe Saunders – The move to the NL doesn’t make him more attractive.  A move to the Taiwanese Little League team wouldn’t make him more attractive.

Torii Hunter – 2-for-4 with a homer as he pulled off some Multiplicity shizz.

Magglio Ordonez -  While he’s shelved for two months, he can work on what’s really important, growing out his jheri curl mullet.  Bring back the Soul Glo!  Immediately when I saw the Tigers three hole hitter was knocked out for 2 months the first thing I thought was, is Leyland really going to bat the .280 OBP Ryan Raburn third for two months?  He did for the first game of the doubleheader.  We shall see.

Carlos Guillen – Off to the DL or as they call it in the Guillen household, “Daddy day care.”

Ryan Raburn – The Magglio/Guillen injuries should give a couple new guys regular time, but the only interesting one is Raburn.  (Will Rhymes is interesting for his steals, but I don’t think he gets enough playing time.  BTW, no relation to Busta.)  Raburn hit 16 homers in 261 ABs last year.  His homers per fly balls was a bit out of whack, but if he gets hot, he can provide some pop.  In AL-Only leagues, obviously you take what you can get.  In mixed leagues, I wouldn’t touch him until he starts hitting.

Orlando Hudson – To the DL with yawnstipation.  Wait, checking my notes.  Oh, he strained his oblique.  If he were on the Mets, he would’ve played tomorrow, then sat out for a week, then played, then sat out for five games, then played.

Kevin Slowey – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 2 Ks vs. the O’s.  Since this was against a terrible team, it doesn’t instill any confidence.

Jason Kubel – 3-for-5 with a grand slam.  I ranked Kubel high in my midseason fantasy rankings because of his propensity for 2nd half thunder.  Cust kayin’.

Carlos Gonzalez – 1-for-5 with 3 Ks and has been struggling for the last week.  Rockies should trade Brad Hawpe for a new finger for CarGo.

J.A. Happ – 5 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks.  A just okay return for a guy I’m not high on (unlike this glue I’m huffing).  Happ has 12 walks and 9 Ks in 15 1/3 IP.  You shouldn’t need more.

Coco Crisp – 1-for-3 with 2 steals and 6 steals in the last week. Coco Quik!  Gotta love when a player knows how he provides fantasy value and gives it to you.

Ben Sheets – To the DL as he took one for all the Bennis Carpensheeters out there.  (BTW, The White Sox middle man, Erick Threets’ name sounds like a portmanteau of injured players too.)

Michael Wuertz – Wuertz has now picked up his 2nd save in four days as Bailey deals with back problems.  Though Bailey said he should return on Tuesday, I picked up Wuertz everywhere I could.  He’s heavy!

Brett Anderson – Should return on Friday.  I’d be careful with the first start back, but I would own Anderson since when he’s healthy, he’s nasty.

R.A. Dickey – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 6 Ks.  He left the game with a strained buttock after stepping in a mound ditch made by Kershaw.  Hoping for the NY Post headline, “Dickey In A Hole, Strains Butt.”

Kenley Jansen – This converted catcher is giving herbathrowdites everywhere a good name.  He got his first save as Broxton recoups from his two inning outing on Saturday.  Leave it to Torre to rest Broxton during save chances because he was overworked then to throw him for two innings.  Jansen could be a fun MR pickup for Holds and Ks, but he’s not suddenly the closer.

Buster Posey – 4-for-5 and now batting .371.  Pray he doesn’t ask for advice from Soto and Wieters on how to follow up his rookie year.

Barry Enright – 6 IP, 2 ER, 11 baserunners, 2 Ks.  Still don’t trust him but he does go into Metco next time out.  That’s a decent gamble in some leagues.

Wandy Rodriguez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners (1 Hit), 7 Ks.  Facing the top hitting club in the NL, the Reds, and he does this after getting shelled by the Cubs last time out.  The Wandwagon’s shocks are causing for a bumpy ride.

Chris Johnson – 1-for-4 with his 3rd homer this week.  Yeah, he’s a mixed league pickup now.  As they say in the porn industry, all aboard the Johnson!

Mike Leake – 6 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks.  He was in Friday’s Sell.  How did you know, Grey?  Please dish. Well, random italicized voice, I didn’t know he’d pitch poorly, but his innings will soon be limited.  And maybe he will pitch poorly going forward because he’s young and might be tiring.

Chris Denorfia – 2-for-5 with his fourth homer this week.  In the broad sense, he sucks.  In the specific as-of-right-now sense, he’s hot and could help you for a few days while he’s hitting and starting.

Joel Hanrahan – Being reported by Buster Olney that he will take over for Dotel if a trade goes down.  Olney’s forgotten more than I’ll ever know.  Like when he forgot where his keys were to his money green El Dorado, I didn’t even know he had an El Dorado.

Troy Glaus – 1-for-4 as he hits .204 in July with zero homers.  Belch.

Curtis Granderson – 2-for-4 with 2 homers and a steal.  He has a modest five game hitting streak.  Could end the season with a 20 homers and 15 steals.  Right now he’s at 9/8.  Do the math!

Phil Hughes – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks.  This start might’ve been slightly shortened by rain, but, since the Yanks won’t try and push him, you should expect similar lines going forward.  Ron Washington, “Someone say lines?!”

Reid Brignac – 1-for-3 with his 4th homer in the last week.  Own while hot.

Rick Ankiel – 3-for-4 with his first homer since coming back.  In most mixed leagues, I’d wait to see more.

Scott Podsednik – 2 homers and 4 RBIs.  After the game, he told a reporter, “And I got a hot wife.  WHAT?!”  Then again, that’s his answer to everything.

Chone Figgins – 2-for-3 with a steal as he’s played in both games since him and Wakamatsu fought in the dugout.  Talks are now underway for Figgy and Wakamatsu to star in the re-remake of The Karate Kid.

Alex Trebek, “Nelson Cruz, Josh Hamilton and Ian Kinsler.”  What’s the deal with all of these Rangers having all the upside in the world but not being able to stay healthy?  Alex, “Um, okay, we would’ve also accepted, ‘Who are some Ranger players?’  Oh, and nice mustache.”   Nelson Cruz has hit the DL five times in his short career.  Always with these little niggling injuries.  Shoulder fatigue this, ankle sprain that.  Someone get this guy some HGH.  I’d like to see a rule put into place that every player who has an injury needs to make two phone calls before they’re able to go on the DL.  One phone call to discuss their injury with Cal Ripken.  Another phone call to a Holocaust survivor.  If they can handle the guilt and still think their injury should force them out of action, then so be it.  Nelson Cruz will be out at least two weeks.  Nothing you can do but DL him and try to find a decent replacement.  David Murphy’s a good in-house one.  Though he needs to benched by you and the Rangers vs. lefties.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brett Anderson – B.A. could miss up to 6 weeks.  So far it’s been a bad week to be listed in the risky pitchers for 2010 post.  Two guys hit the DL, another guy strained his groin.  Hey, there’s my groin… No, wait.  That’s my outie belly button.  Damn, I shouldn’t be straining to find– Ouch! I was pretty hands off with Brett Anderson this year.  As in, there’s Brett Anderson in my drafts and I’m not touching him.  A forearm strain… Shoot, anything with the arm is tricky for a pitcher.  You thought I didn’t want to own him before the injury, guess how I feel about him now.  One hundred sixty pounds! That’s trying to guess my weight, random italicized voice.  Totally my bad! But you’re kinda SOL right now because you can’t sell him for fifty cents on the dollar… Well, I mean you could, but I wouldn’t.  If you were to wait until he returns and pitches well, then traded him.  I could get behind that.

Jorge de la Rosa – The 2nd risky pitcher to make his way to the DL; de la Rosa’s suffering from a torn tendon in his middle finger.  In layman’s terms, this is called a wounded bird.  Rox docs are saying he should only miss a few starts.  I don’t want to yell fire in the theater of Razzball, but this is a similar injury that Wainwright suffered a few years ago and it knocked him out from June 7th, 2008 until August 22nd.  Listen, I don’t even know what to take for an upset stomach, so I’m obviously no doctor, but don’t try and buy de la Rosa on the cheap.

Jhoulys Chacin – Will take over for dlR.  Just went over him yesterday.  Scroll down or click here.  Your options are endless.

Chris Iannetta – Sent to the minors.  I’m in a league where I had him sitting in my catcher slot all year.  I’m also in first place in that league.  I’m telling you, guys and three girl readers.  Your catchers don’t matter.  Just throw someone in there.  In that league, I grabbed John Jaso for s’s and g’s.  Olivo is a great option if he’s out there.

Eric Young Jr. – 2-for-4 as he hit leadoff.  Followed by Fowler, Helton, Tulo and CarGo.  Now that’s a lineup!

Jason Bay – Hit his first homer of the year.  Glad to see Metco can’t hold in his power.  Just severely limit it.

Carlos Santana – He might be up any day now.  At least within the next month.  As I told someone yesterday, look at Wieters’s stats last year.  Look at Wieters’s stats this year –> he has one home run, 6 Runs and 7 RBIs.  What are you hoping to get from Carlos Santana?  A lunch date with Rob Thomas?  If you’re hoping Carlos Santana saves your team, you have a lot bigger fish to fry.  I wouldn’t be surprised to see Carlos Santana get called up and do nothing productive until next July.  Oh, and Santana’s dealing with a knee injury.

Buster Posey – See 1/8 of an inch above.

Clay Buchholz – 8 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks and has a 2.19 ERA on the year.  See little reason why it can’t continue.  Could he be the Red Sox ace this year?  Without a shadow of a doubt.  It’s amazing to me the comments I still get asking if people should pick him up.  Are these one team leagues?  Own Buchholz before you give me an ulcer.

Brandon Wood – Yesterday, I mentioned that Wood has hit in three straight games.  Now it’s four as he went 3-for-4 with a homer.

Austin Kearns – 6 for his last 10 with two homers.  He won’t be good for the whole season, but right now Kearns has the juice.

Dioner Navarro – Suspended for two games for bumping an ump.  Navarro apologized saying the ump kept humming “Been Caught Stealing” and he just lost it.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia – All catchers, all the time on Razzball, huh?  Salty should be bacchia by the end of the week.  If you lost Iannetta, he’s another option I’d look at.

Max Ramirez – I swear, this is the last catcher for today.  If you want, skip down to the next blurb.  No?  Okay, but don’t pout.  That’s for guys who play fantasy golf.  Max Ramirez will actually be covered this afternoon by Stephen.  Coinkydink, huh?  Max Ramirez, who sounds like a Latino-Yiddish fusion chef, was the name bandied about for Mike Lowell this past offseason.  Ramirez has good power but the Rangers might just leave him as a backup to their backstop since his defense is poor.  It’s a sitch that’s worth watching.

Justin Smoak – 1-for-13 since his call up.  Someone needs to take Smoak aside and explain to him that when they wanted him to replace Chris Davis, they wanted his own interpretation not a facsimile.

Frank Francisco – 1 IP, 0 ER and his first save of the year.  “I take back what is mine.  Then I make love to your women,” said Frank-Frank as he entered from the bullpen.  Even money says Frank-Frank is the closer again-again.

Zack Greinke – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks as he was appropriately Greinke’d.

Randy Wolf – 8 IP, 2 ER, 11 baserunners, 4 Ks and a no decision.  Hey, seems like old times.

Trevor Hoffman – 1 IP, 5 ER.  Ouch… Wait, what?  Oh.  Ouch.

Derek Lowe – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER.  It hurts me soul when I hear people own Lowe.

Ryan Ludwick – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer as he now bats .303 on the year.  I’ve seen worse 5th outfielders.  Hey, Nate McLousy, that’s you!

Jon Garland – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks.  I don’t buy it.  He’s still a hodgepadre.

Edwin Jackson – 2 1/3 IP, 10 ER.  But just think, if you had drafted him last year, he would’ve been good.

Cody Ross – Missed yesterday’s game with a nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy-head fever.  Maybe he’s allergic to the thought of losing his job to Mike Stanton.

Justin Verlander – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks.  It’s not May yet, but don’t tell Verlander.

Francisco Liriano – 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks.  Three weeks ago, I traded Jenks for Liriano and Maybin.  ABtC –> Always Be trading Closers.

Justin Morneau – Left the game with a stiff back.  Might’ve been from trying to catch up with Verlander’s 100 MPH fastball.

Brian Roberts – Still hasn’t started any baseball activities.  No spitting, no ball scratching, no nothing.

Rhyne Hughes – 1-for-4, 1 Run and RBI.  Now has a hit in every game he’s appeared in, but he won’t face lefties, at least for now.

Jim Johnson – Trembley looks at his bullpen and gets the *pinkie to mouth* shakes.  He said the Orioles don’t have a closer.  Johnson’s just a guy who can’t pitch that has appeared in the ninth inning in the past.  Yesterday, Johnson appeared in the 8th.  Giving way for the one, the only…

Alfredo Simon – Yeah, I’m a save whore.  I’ll admit it.  I grabbed him in multiple leagues.  By the time I grabbed him in every league I could, he had two men on and was about to blow the save.  He escaped.  Barely.  During his almost blown save, Jim Palmer said, “I told Simon in spring training just throw to the mitt.  And wear Jockey underwear.”  I added the last part.  Simon’s stuff looked decent from what I saw, but his minor league numbers show a guy who barely has a 5 K/9.  Who throws 90+ MPH and only Ks 5 guys per 9?  The Orioles new closer, that’s who!

Rajai Davis – Sat out because of a slump so Pennington hit leadoff and went 4-for-5 with a homer.  Uh-oh.

Ben Sheets – 4 IP, 8 ER as your A’s got the Sheets.

I’m beginning to think with Billy Beane that the emperor’s wearing no clothes.  Moneyball is still a great book, Joe Morgan is still a moron and Chad Bradford is still an underhander.  Those things are true.  But the A’s were 4th in the Majors last year in steals — what happened to steals cost outs?  Not to mention, Beane’s team hasn’t been competitive in three seasons.  Was Moneyball just a symptom of the era?  Was it simply fortuitous that Beane’s coronation came during the era of the three run homer?  Was Moneyball a by-product of steroids?  Would Moneyball be written today?  Hard to imagine Michael Lewis sitting down with a GM of a sub-.500 club and polishing his pedestal, right?  And none of this has to do with fantasy baseball or Ben Sheets.  (I wrote the preceding the other day, then right before I posted this I saw Sky Andrecheck wrote an SI piece in the similar ballpark.  Literally.)

If Sheets can stay healthy, he’s liable to return more than his ADP.  That “if” is ginormous.  That “if” sits next to you on a plane and you can’t put down the armrest.  You show up at a party of 500 Tongans and that “if” is the second biggest thing in the room after the buffet table.  You hook up with that “if” at a bar and people will think you’re beer goggling.  Okay, I think I made my point.  The other issue with Sheets is his falling K-rate.  Back in 2005, if Sheets was healthy, he was a Cy Young-type performer.  Regularly posting 200+ Ks and next to no walks. (Sounds a bit like Nolasco now.)  But lately Sheets hasn’t come near these numbers when healthy.  In 2007, he started 24 games and had a K-rate of 6.75.  That would’ve put him on par with Jason Hammel last year.  He also gained a walk per nine on his walk rate.  In 2008, Sheets had a 7.17 K/9.  Better, but that would’ve had him on par with Zito.  The days of the 9+ K/9 and sub-3 ERA are over.  He’s only a number 3 fantasy starter if he can start 30 games.  It’s okay, but not worth the ulcer when considering his health.  Anyway, here’s some more deals and signings since the last time we checked in and what they mean for fantasy baseball:

Octavio Dotel – Signed on to be the Pirates closer.  Bummer.  Was hoping to see Joel Hanrahanananan and Brendan Donnelly battle it out.  Would’ve been like a match between Steve Lombardi and Salvatore Bellomo.  I will own Dotel on multiple teams.  He’s a K machine (regularly 10+ K/9) and he has no competition even if he falters. With The Dread Pirate, Robot Jones and Dotel, I’m going to be watching a lot of Pirate games this year.  Pray for me.

Xavier Nady – Signed with the Cubs. What a long strange trip it’s been for Nady. Goes from Tommy John surgery to being a fourth outfielder that can’t catch a break to putting up a career year to having his second Tommy John surgery and returning to fourth outfielder duty.  Nady will need Soriano to hop onto the DL to have any real value.

Miguel Tejada – Signs with the Orioles.  In the top 20 shortstops for 2010 fantasy baseball, I gave Tejada projections of 70/15/85/.295/4.  In Houston, he hit second and fifth, helping balance his Runs and RBIs.  Now he’ll probably bat primarily fifth.  So if you want to argue Tejada’s Runs will decrease slightly and his RBIs will go up a tick, go for it.  But remember you’re arguing about an average at best, 35 year old shortstop.

Jon Garland – Signs with the Padres, or as I like to call them, The Team With Five Number Five Starters.  Garland can be a solid HodgePadre during the season.  But it’s hard to draft a HodgePadre, especially one with no Ks.  First long road trip and you wanna drop him.  I would slot him in as my 5th starter in NL-Only leagues.

Rick Ankiel – Signs with the peasant Royals.  For s’s and g’s, I went to look at Baseball-Reference’s most comparable players to Ankiel. Came back with Pedro Feliz.  Sounds about right.  Both are good for 20 homers and a .250 average.  Feliz at least has position eligibility going for him in fantasy baseball.  Ankiel’s a good story (minus that HGH story), but he’s not worth much outside of AL-Only leagues.

Randy Winn – Signed with the Yanks.  This signing for fantasy baseball has all the makings of a headache for yours truly.  No one wants to own Winn, but now that he’s on the Yanks he’ll be at the top of waiver wires all year, so I’m going to field six months of “Hey, Grey, Winn’s available, should I pick him up?”  On the bright side for schadenfreude purposes, this is a bigger headache for Brett Gardner.  As Nelson would say, “Ha-HA!”

Jim Thome – Signs with the Twins.  It’s his 3rd AL Central team.  Dayton Moore must be pissed he spent all his milk money on Podsednik and Ankiel.  Twin fans have been waiting for another Harmon Killebrew for 30 years.  In Thome, they found one, albeit closer to Killebrew today vs. during his career.  Thome could hit 30 homers with a full season of DH ABs, but the Twins have Mauer, Kubel and Cuddyer that could also take some ABs away.  I’d conservatively project Thome for 60/22/75/.240.

Chris Davis was sent to the minors last night to make room for Josh Hamilton.  In the preseason, Bill James’s projections for Chris Davis were 107/40/118/.302/8.  I thought that was a tad optimistic.  And “tad optimistic” there is like saying, “Hey, this Ben Affleck movie might be okay.”  Those predictions and the proceeding hype sent Davis’s ADP through the roof.  To the point where I decided to punt 3rd base in all of my drafts and take Mark Reynolds.  I went over why in this preseason post.  Now I’m not saying I wasn’t at fault either.  Back in December, I said Davis was a sleeper when he was going after Zimmerman, Huff and Atkins.  When the hype picked up, I backed off.  Though I did give Davis pretty generous preseason numbers too at 75/30/95/.275/3.  But I have a fantasy baseball blog; I’m not Bill James.  I think someone should ping Bill James (the kids say ping, ask one what it means) and say, “Hey, Bill, big fan.  Lots of great stuff through the years.  Sorry to ping you this late, but a few quick rhetorical questions.  Chris Davis?  Seriously?  Did you not follow the ruler across the paper correctly on Pujols’s name?”  In the Better News Dept., David Murphy should get more time now that Davis is gone as Blalock moves to first.  Though I’m not sure how long Blalock can stay healthy playing that demanding of a position.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Psyche! Before we get into today’s roundup, I just wanted to say we have an announcement coming later in the 2nd post of the day.  Around 11:30 AM PST.  Make sure to check back later.  Some of you might enjoy it.  While others may say, “Meh.”  Okay, now for the roundup:

Scott Hairston – Traded to the A’s.  Not sure there could be more of a lateral movement for Hairston’s value.  Unless you’re in an NL-Only league and you lose his services to the best available option off waivers.  Then again, maybe that’s lateral too. The Padres got Craig Italiano — I hear he makes a great chicken parm — and Ryan Webb, no relation to Brandon.  If you’re not following, the Padres traded away their number three hitter for the stuff you find under your couch.

Will Venable – Will see more ABs with Hairston out of town.  This could actually hurt Venable’s value.

Kyle Blanks – Rudy Gamble’s brother from the same mother could also see more time.  Be nice to see The Pillsbury Fro Boy do something other than strikeout.  As far as his fantasy value, we already filled in the *pinkie to mouth* Blanks.

Scott Downs – Should be back any day now.  As always, I’d hold Frasor for the time being until Downs has shown he’s healthy.

Chien-Ming Wang - Something’s Wang.  Hehe.  Hit the DL.  Peace out, Wang.  Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

Ben Sheets – May not pitch this year.  No way!  C’mon!  Are you serious?  Crazy!

Dan Haren – 6 IP, 1 ER.  A good game and the Diamondbacks gave him runnage?  Wow.  Talk about a good day.  And I didn’t have any hodgepadres ruining my ERA yesterday.  Nice.

Joba Chamberlain – 3 2/3 IP, 3 ER and 8 unearned as he tied his owners to a WHIPing Post.  “Joba Rules” this year are a bunch of walks, unreliable from start to start no matter the matchup and unfulfilled promise.  Maybe that’s why he drinks and not, “Owen, you stupid poop!”

Ricky Nolasco – 8 IP, 0 ER, 12 Ks.  When I gave you the advice in mid-May to Buy Nolasco, I sure hope some of youse listened.

Derrek Lee – Another homer yesterday.  How dare you call me Lyle Overbay? But you kinda are just a rich man’s Lyle Overbay.  I’ll call you Thurston Overbay, the Third.

Jake Fox – HR yesterday.  Will be interesting to see how Sweet Lou flips the craft services table when Aramis returns today.

Randy Johnson – Left the game with a shoulder injury.  I foresee an abbreviated spring training comeback in 2010 and then he retires.

Rich Aurilla – HR yesterday.  I really thought he was retired.  I’m not even joking.  I’m not sure which is more despicable.  That Aurilla is holding the Giants hostage by not retiring or that the Giants don’t just release him.

Miguel Olivo – Hit his 13th homer.  Matt Wieters hit a homer too.  Natch!  Or is it reverse natch since I’m the one always cracking on his output?  Hmm… I got lost in my own natchs.

Grady Sizemore – 2 homers and one steal since his return as he bats .270.  Eh.

Cliff Lee – 6 IP, 3 ER.  Has a 3.45 ERA on the year.  That seems more in line with Lee than what we saw last year.

Gio Gonzalez – 6 IP, 2 ER. Doesn’t he sound like a haute couture jeans designer?  I wouldn’t bother with Gio Gonzalez in an 18-team league that only uses Oakland A’s players.

Adam Lind/Aaron Hill – Hit their 18th and 20th homers, respectively.  Lind bats .310 while Hill bats .299.  Still don’t see either as a sell high candidate, but that shizz is relative.  If you get the right deal, by all means.

Colby Rasmus – Hit his 10th homer as he bats .282.  Little late to the party now if you pick him up, but you could be doing a lot worst for your fourth or fifth outfielder.  I’m looking at you, Fred Lewis.

Chris Carpenter – 7 IP, 1 ER.  This is not to say Carp isn’t solid, but right now the Reds look like they’re facing the House Committee on Un-American Activities every time out.

Ross Ohlendorf – 5 IP, 5 ER.  Dorf!

Garrett Jones – Two Pirates mentioned in the same roundup.  Arghh, it’s raining doubloons!  Jones hit two homers in his last four games.  I don’t know where this schmohawk is headed, but right now he’s on one of my teams.  He may not last, but better to take the flier if you have room than to let someone else grab the hot rookie.  Remember, I gave you the same advice for The Dread Pirate about a month ago.  I’m still rocking him on one team. (He stole his 6th base yesterday as he bats .300).

Brandon Morrow – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 Ks.  Finally, six innings!  I picked him up in a 12 team league last week, but haven’t start him yet.  I’ll start him now.

Martin Prado – 4-for-4 as he starts every day.  If you owned Kelly Johnson, then I’m sure the Cox yanking was suprisingly unpleasant, but Prado can ease your pain.

Derek Lowe – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER.  Right now, he’s alternating between decent start and terrible.  Luckily, he gets the Rockies in Colorado next time out, so that’s an easy call to sit him.  Hopefully he’s back to a reliable starter after the ASB.

Jimmy Rollins – HR yesterday and is 7 for his last 15.  If he hits .400 over the next month, you’ll be glad you remained patient.

Joe Blanton – 7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 Ks.  He gets Pittsburgh next.  All aboard!

Nick Blackburn – 9 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks.  With a name only one letter off from a porn star with chlamydia, it’s easy to stay away, right?  I look at it this way.  There’s so many pitchers each week that are potential spot starters, even in deep leagues, that I just don’t want any part of a guy that has 51 Ks in just over 116 innings.

Casey McGehee – 3-for-4 yesterday.  On Saturday, he went 4-for-5 with a homer.  Okay, this is the last I’m mentioning him.  Fo realz.

Vladimir Guerrero – Two days, two homers.  Was he prematurely shipped off to the glue factory?  I don’t think so.  I’d still be looking to sell him.  Now you might actually find someone who believes he still has some giddy-up left.  In related news, Brian Roberts still has twice as many homers as Vlad the ’97 Impala.

Howie Kendrick – Recalled and stole a base yesterday.  Here’s what I said two weeks before Kendrick was sent down to the minors, “What do the Angels do with a 2nd baseman who has 18 homers in 179 ABs in Triple-A?  Promote him and demote Howie Kendrick?  Or do the Angels promote Rodriguez, demote Kendrick, wait two weeks until Kendrick starts hitting in the Coors-like PCL and then promote Kendrick right back and demote Rodriguez again like they’ve been doing with Brandon Wood for the last three years?”  And that’s me blowing your mind!  Let me answer 15 comments right off the bat — Beckham, McGehee, Prado, Everth then Kendrick, in that order.

Andre Ethier – HR yesterday.  See, preggers Manny doesn’t even need to be in the lineup for Ethier to start hitting.  I’m half-joking.  This year Ethier’s been better in the power department than I thought he’d be, but I don’t buy that he’s suddenly going to be the .400 hitter we saw in the 2nd half last year just because Manny’s back.

Mark Reynolds – HR yesterday.  What else is new?  If any of you are fifteen-years-old, don’t vote for him for the All-Star Game.  We want him to be mad in the 2nd half.  Adrian slept with Clubber mad.  Eye of the Tiger!  Oh, and if you’re fifteen, don’t listen to your parents.  You won’t need geometry.  Though you may need to know how to say, “I don’t know how a dead prostitute got in my bed,” in Spanish.

In our seemingly interminable lists of 2009 fantasy baseball rankings, we’re covering the last of the top 40 starters for 2009 fantasy baseball.  ¡Muy excitemento!  The other day we did the top 20 starters for 2009.  Check them out, you know you wanna.  This list could go another sixty deep and maybe I’ll go through the next sixty without all the hazarai.  I talked about how I don’t draft many guys from the very top starters, instead I wait.  Well, the starters on this list are the ones I choose from.  I wouldn’t mind Vazquez, Cain and Wainwright on my fantasy team.  Or Garza, Weaver and Young.  Or… Well, you get the picture.  I like just about all of the guys on the bottom of this top 40 list.  For a more general idea of where people are falling, look at this 2009 Fantasy Baseball Player Rater.  Also, to help with drafting, here’s a list of players with multiple position eligibility.  Or read how previous year’s pitch counts make for risky pitchers.  Anyway, here’s the rest of the top 40 starters for 2009 fantasy baseball:

21. Felix Hernandez – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here to Joba.  I like to call this tier, “Guys I’m Kinda Gay For.”  If I could have a 12-team staff of F-Her, Liriano and Wainwright in every league, I’d take it.  How’s dem apples?  Delicious!  You know what’s weird about Felix Hernandez?  He’s like twelve.  Still.  He has to be the oldest 22 year old ever.  If you told me he had grandkids, I wouldn’t blink an eye.  I still love him.  2009 Projections:  13-9/3.85/1.33/190

22. Francisco Liriano – Now’s the season to get on the Liriano train.  Next stop, Fantasy Worth.  As the case is with Frank Jobe surgery, it usually takes a year of pitching to get back up to speed.  The year’s up, snitches!  To paraphrase Fiddy, “Get Liriano or Die Tryin’.”  2009 Projections:  11-5/3.25/1.25/160

23. Adam Wainwright – It’s no shock to those who have read Razzball for longer than a millisecond — Ooh, so I, like, just found Razzball from doing a Google search and, like, hey, glad to be here. Thanks, random italicized voice. — that Wainwright is higher on my list than on some ‘perts’ lists.  I’ve been a fan of Wainwright even when he Wentwrong last year.  I should’ve known after the bullpen experiment in ’06 that he’d breakdown in ’08 in unforeseen ways.  Live and learn, dawg.  Live and… You finish it.  2009 Projections:  13-7/3.60/1.20/150

24. Joba Chamberlain – Member in 1987 when everyone wanted to lay on the hood of that Jaguar with Tawny Kitaen?  Joba’s Tawny Kitaen.  2009 Projections:  12-3/3.00/1.18/130 in 20 starts.

25. Ricky Nolasco – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here to Bedard.  I call this tier, “Um, Reservations.”  This tier is a group of guys I’d draft but I’m not as excited about these guys within this list’s contexts.  If Joba’s Tawny Kitaen on Whitesnake’s car, Nolasco’s Tawny Kitaen beating up Chuck Finley.  That’s not quite the compliment that it sounds like.  2009 Projections:  11-8/4.00/1.15/160 in 25 starts.

26. A.J. Burnett – Before everyone has a conniption about how low I ranked Burnett, let’s look at a few things.  A) He had a healthy year in 2008, where he pitched over 200 innings and he came in only 24th on the top starters of 2008.  B) He’s never pitched 200 innings in back-to-back seasons.  C) There is no C.  Deal with it.  2009 Projections:  13-9/4.15/1.30/140 in 20 starts.

27. Jon Lester – His WHIP scares me.  His lack of Ks scares me even more.  He cut his walks in 2008, which is a solid sign.  I’m just not sure if 2008 was something concocted for Lester by Make-A-Wish or if he’s the real deal.  2009 Projections:  15-7/4.00/1.30/150

28. Ben Sheets – (UPDATE: With elbow surgery in Sheets’s immediate future, punt.) For a long time I’ve stated that if Sheets can stay healthy, he’ll win a Cy Young.  Frankly, I don’t think that’s true anymore.  His K/9 wasn’t that great over a full season last year and he left quite a few on base.  Then you throw in his injury history and he’s not really worth the headache.  2009 Projections:  10-4/3.50/1.17/140 in 20 starts

29. Chien-Ming Wang – All he does is win games!  No, seriously, that’s all he does.  In addition to the All-Star Break Home Run Derby, MLB should have a strikeout contest where a non-strikeout pitcher faces off against a strikeout hitter.  Like you wouldn’t watch Chien-Ming Wang face off against Mark Reynolds.  May the slightly more fit survive!  2009 Projections:  17-7/4.00/1.30/120

30. Aaron Harang – I blame Dusty.  Dusty ruins careers.  Ask Prior.  Ask Wood.  Ask Dusty Jr.  Go ahead, be the bat boy in the World Series and trip players. Harang was going along nicely with a mid-3 ERA until the relief appearance on May 25th when he blew away nine hitters in 4 innings.  You know what Harang did for a few months after that?  You know exactly if you owned him.  He shit your fantasy house for three months.  Then had an ERA of 3.07 in September.  Cust kayin’.  2009 Projections:  12-9/4.00/1.25/155

31. Erik Bedard – I do think he could jump into the top 10 if he stays healthy, but that “if” seems Milky Way Galaxy-sized.  2009 Projections:  9-6/3.35/1.15/140 in 20 starts

32. Matt Cain – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here to the end of this list.  I call this tier, “I’m targeting these guys, boi!”  This might sound crazy to you but Cain could out pitch Lincecum in 2009.  Or they both could meet somewhere in the middle.  A very solid, productive middle.  2009 Projections:  14-10/3.35/1.26/200

33. Yovani Gallardo – His injury shouldn’t stop him from being productive in 2009.  The only thing that makes me reluctant to rank him higher is all the time he missed in 2008.  2009 Projections:  12-6/3.50/1.25/150 in 170 IP.  If he can go more, the numbers get more delicious.

34. Javier Vazquez -  When Vazquez was traded to the Braves, I went over Vazquez for 2009.   The abridged version of that post is, “Besides having a last name that would be great for Scrabble, I like him.”  2009 Projections:  15-8/4.15/1.25/200

35. David Price – I like Price, too.  I do, boo.  I just think the Rays are going to play it smart and rest him here and there, bump him here and there, and sit him late in the season.  So he might only get about 140 innings.  He can be valuable, but I’d keep expectations in check.  2009 Projections:  10-4/3.50/1.10/120 in 20 starts.

36. Max Scherzer – I went over this shizz in a Scherzer keeper post-a-ma-thing-a-ma-jiggy-wit-it.  Fact or fiction, I’m going to take a flier on Jobacum in some leagues no matter what the Baby Backs say his role will be in the spring.  Fact!  2009 Projections:  9-3/3.25/1.20/100 in 15 starts

37. Jered Weaver – Ryan Dempster was originally ranked here, but I removed him for Weaver.  I imagine the only people who will have a serious problem with this will be Cubs fans and we all know they’re not at all vocal.  2009 Projections:  14-9/3.75/1.25/160

38. Matt Garza – What if I told you Garza could have an ERA below 3.50, would that be something you’d be interested in?  2009 Projections:  14-10/3.50/1.25/140

39.  Josh Johnson – Momma Grey once said, “When in doubt, go for a nice K rate.”  Johnson’s only this low because of the injury history.  2009 Projections:  13-6/3.75/1.32/140

40. Johnny Cueto – I ended the top 20 with Edinson/Edison/Julio Volquez and I’ll end this list with Cueto.  Cueto’s entire 2008 was to guile your dopey ass into forgetting about him in 2009.  Don’t fall for it.  He’s the mothereffin’ butterfly and he just flapped his wings in Indochina.  2009 Projections:  14-10/3.75/1.25/165 (<–optimistic, but whatevs)

After the top 40 starters for 2009 fantasy baseball, there’s lots of guys, but these four stand out:

Chris Young – After going so downbeat at the end of the top 20 starters post, I felt the need to end upbeat on this one.  So these four guys I’m all cheery on.  Young was covered already in a 2009 fantasy sleeper post.  2009 Projections:  11-7/3.50/1.22/160

Brandon Morrow – As long as he comes at a decent price.  Please don’t go after him too early.  He still could end up the closer of the M’s and let’s not forget it’s the M’s.  How many games do you think he’s going to win?  8?  9?  2009 Projections:  8-4/3.45/1.20/120 in 20 starts.

Kevin Slowey/John Danks – So many pitchers, so little room.  I almost listed Greinke/Myers here instead.  I imagine the only people who will have a serious problem with their absence will be crazy wife beaters.  2009 Slowey Projections:  14-10/3.90/1.17/130  2009 Danks Projections:  14-10/3.90/1.28/160

Ervin Santana – ERVIN SANTANA INJURY UPDATE.  2009 Projections:  11-6/3.75/1.20/125 in 20 starts