Bartolo Colon

Smokey

2012 Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers, Week 20

| Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers | 12 Comments

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Another week closer to the end.  Well my friends, it is getting to be that time, crunch time.  I wish they sold some kind of crunch machine for this time of the year, as every start becomes more important than the last.   As you are calculating your starts remaining, innings remaining, and most inevitably the trade deadline in your leagues, take a look at where you’re trailing.  It is now the time to do something about it, not yesterday or in 3 days.   This is why we do all that preparation for the draft and read countless blurbs about players.  We want to win or at least look good doing it.  So take this week to make your final push, because it feels better to try and lose then to not care at all.  Good luck and happy fantasy baseballin’.  (Please keep in mind that match-ups and pitchers change.)

Blake Beavan (Tb vs Cobb, Min vs Deduno) Leave it to Beavan, not literally but figuratively.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Brandon’s Elbow Hurts Like A Son Of A Beachy

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 437 Comments

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Brandon Beachy left Saturday’s start with a sore elbow.  Usually when pitchers have a sore elbow it means one of two things.  One, they’re going on the DL for a long period of time.  Or two, they’re going to say they’re going on the DL for only 15 days but it will be a long time.  Yeah, those are kinda the same things, but it adds a little flare when I break them up into two things.  My English Comp professor would’ve said, “Grey, you add filler on top of your filler then you put commas where they’re not supposed to be then, add more filler.  Have you considered a math major?”  I told you to sell him about two weeks ago, but I understand how hard it is to sell an overperformer, so many of you were probably stuck with Beachy, or stranded, as the case may be.  I’d DL him and hope for better news heretothen.  Bee tee dubya, I just made up heretothen.  Pretty good, right?  Feel free to use it for the rest of twelve after twenty.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Kris Medlen – The Braves stretched out Medlen, then yo-yo’d all over the place with what he should and would be doing.  Fredi Gonzalez said, “I have enough problems to worry about since I can’t pitch Venters 400 innings this year.”  Now with Beachy’s injury, Medlen remains in the bullpen.  Yup.  Instead, the Braves are filling Beachy’s rotation spot with Jair Jurrjens.  Obviously, the Braves management threw a dart at a board to fill the rotation spot and said dart landed in a nearby toilet.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

A Twelve Zack With A Dozen Buds

| Fantasy Baseball Notes | 472 Comments

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Bud Norris and Zack Greinke both struck out 12 hitters yesterday.  One in 6 innings and the latter in 7 innings, if latter means Greinke.  And when I saw their lines it occurred to me, that my Bud’s gonna be just like Greinke, when he grows up, my Bud’s gonna be just like Greinke.  You see my Bud’s WHIP’s a hassle and his homers have the flew.  But one day Bud will be just like you.  One day he’ll be just like you.  And Greinke would say, “Why is he singing Cat’s in the Cradle to me?  I’m not his father, I’m barely two years older than him?”  Yeah, you’ll see, Greinke.  You can’t even see the irony now, but one day, my Bud’s gonna be just like you.  You all will see.  For now, he’s not him.  Nope, nuh-uh, nada, not there, nope again.  His walks are still too out of control, but his K-rate is over nine and his xFIP is 12 team mixed league respectable.  He’s about as risky a starter as there is — he’s even on Rudy’s list of risky pitchers for 2012 — but it’s hard to find his sort of Ks on waivers.  And, one day, he’ll put it together and we’ll have a good time then… You know we’ll have a good time then.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Alex Avila – To the DL with a hamstring strain.  Only positive here is Miggy homered yesterday, feeling more comfortable without AA hassling him.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

You Go Tell Rafael That I Ain’t Taking No Jive

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 322 Comments

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David Robertson to the DL for three weeks with a left oblique strain.  2009 was the Year of the Oblique, then there was the Middle Infieluenza Outbreak of Twenty-Ten, and 2011 was a war between General Soreness and Major Discomfort.  This year is The Closepocalypse.  If you’re a closer and gonna go to the DL, at least get your make-believe plague right.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey / Rudy

An Angel Gets His Slings

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 229 Comments

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Finally, an injury to an Angel that can clear up the awful logjam between OF/DH/3B.  Oh wait, it’s to their catcher – Chris Iannetta – where their ‘depth’ involves Bobby Wilson, an injured Hank Conger and sub-Mathis scrubs.  Maybe they should try Mark Trumbo at catcher.  He’s gotta be better there than at 3B.  Chris Iannetta anagrams to Neat Christian – how fitting for an Angel.  I guess someone had to be the martyr to save Pujols’s soul from the fiery pits of replacement-level.  For those of you in deep enough leagues to warrant a roster spot for Iannetta, just pick up whatever schmohawk catcher is on the waiver wire with the most ABs in the last 2 weeks.  Nothing’s sweeter than a random HR from a FA scrub (shoutout to Cesar Izturis’s HR for our NL-only team).   Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Stephen Strasburg – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 13 Ks.  “Wait until he hits twenty-seven years old and he can barely lift his arm to pack his bowl.”  That’s Lincecum watching the Strasburg highlights.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

The Future of the World (Or At Least Angels and Nats) Saved!

| 2012 Fantasy Baseball | 613 Comments

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Bryce Harper and Mike Trout were called up by their respective clubs this weekend.  When Bryce left Syracuse for his first major league game, the grand opening of the “Eye Black Isn’t Just For The Ultimate Warrior And Owls” store turned into a Going Out of Business sale.  When Mike Trout left Salt Lake for the Angels, Bobby Abreu’s three year Going Out of Business sale came to an abrupt end.  Bobby, “I still have some seven-pitch walks to sell!”  With Trout and Harper called up, the minor leagues were closed.   There’s no more minor leagues.  In his major league debut, Harper looked like all that and a bag of douche.  Who over the age of twelve flips their helmet off when they’re running?  Wait, is he over the age of twelve?  Definitely more auspicious of a debut than Trout’s (or is that inauspicious?).  (NSFWUYWAAPPH (Not Safe For Work Unless You Work At A Porn Production House):  In case you didn’t see it, Harper roped a double to deep center while someone behind home plate dropped their pants.  (Here’s Bryce Harper’s first major league hit in motion.)  I can’t wait to go to Cooperstown in 25 years and see Bryce Harper’s 1st major league hit.   The curator showing a group of middle school kids, “Here’s the film of Babe Ruth calling his shot and here’s Bryce Harper with a booty call.”  In 50 years, Bryce Harper showing his granddaughter, “There’s your PawPaw getting his first major league hit.”  “PawPaw, are you the one with your ass showing?”  “No, sweetheart, that’s how fans celebrated baseball players when I played.  A great time to be alive.”)  Mike Trout, nor the fans behind him, flashed anything.  Whatevs, I like him better for this year.

Please, blog, may I have some more?