Fantasy Baseball Advice

I’d like to dedicate this opening paragraph to one of our 2008 faves Mark ‘Mini-Donkey’ Reynolds as he reached 200 Ks and is poised to shatter the previous record of 205 Ks set by the very same Mark Reynolds last year.  (Luckily, he’s also shattering his record for Runs, HRs, RBIs, and SBs too.)  We are tempted to call up MLB to ask how much it would cost to sponsor a Razzball Windmill of the Year Award.  It’s got to be hard to fail that much and still have the overall success that Reynolds is having this year.  It’s like that guy in the bar who comes onto 10 girls out of his league and then scores with the 11th.  You have to be impressed with his triumph but the 10 failures are, in their own way, more impressive.  Anyway, kudos to the Grand Diamondhack and onto the rest of what’s going on…

Derek Lowe - D-Lowe forfeited a favorable start tonight when he left after two innings (and 3 ER) with a blister on his ring finger.  Luckily the blister isn’t on his little finger or his thumb or he’d really be in dire straits.

Gavin Floyd – He saw D-Lowe’s 2 inning start and saw him one inning better before leaving with a bad hip.  A 4th inning might’ve qualified him for a Win…..if you used the Joba Rules.  Decent chance he’s toast for the season so don’t waver to waiver.

Hideki Matsui - Hit his 25th HR of the season as part of a Yankee win.  I would’ve thought Matsui would’ve needed to move back to one of those glorified Little League stadiums they have in Japan to ever clear 25 HR again.  Luckily the Yanks built one instead.

Ian Stewart - Returned after missing most of the last week with a bad back to hit a 2-run HR.  He’s now 7-for-30 in September with 5 HRs and 14 Ks.  He’d be a 50 HR threat if they ever triple the size of the ball or the bat barrel.

Jonny Gomes - Hit his 20th HR of the season in 254 ABs.  Incidentally, that’s 2 more than Jay Bruce, 18 more than Chris Dickerson, and 19 more than Willy Taveras.   Hitters moving from the AL to the NL must feel like that kid whose birthday fell a day after the Little League cutoff and got to play an extra year.

Francisco Rodriguez & Brian Fuentes – The former and current Angel closers continue to bedevil fantasy owners with blown saves last night – adding to their already 5.00+ ERAs in the second half.  Like a bunch of Latin Lidges.  If they are still available in your league, lock in their backups – Kevin Jepsen for the Angels and…um…uh…never mind on the Mets.

Franklin Morales – Closing the circle of blown saves, the interim closer of Fuentes’ former employer gave up 3 ER in the final inning of a 4-0 game.  Kazaam!

Roy Oswalt – Being shut down for the season due to lingering back issues.  Half price sale on Astros.com for “Roy & Wandy then starve our chances of winning like Ghandi” T-Shirts!

Braden Looper - Improved his record to 13-6 for the Brew Crew despite a near 5.00 ERA.  Manny Parra is 10-10 with a 6.42 ERA.  Parra is obviously just about 1 1/2 earned runs per game from being a dominant pitcher.

Bartolo Colon – Cleansed from the ChiSox roster today.  If I was Vince McMahon, I’d sign him and Sidney Ponson as a tag team christened as the Piñatas.

Ryan Dempster hits the DL with a broken toe.  No word on how he hurt it, but Cubs fans are blaming Milton Bradley, Milton Bradley’s blaming an Italian Beef sandwich he ate in March but the Italian Beef sandwich refuses to play The Blame Game.  Way to take the high road, Italian Beef sandwich!  Dempster was at 5-5/4.09/1.37/89 through 105 2/3 innings.  Now he’s out until late-July at the earliest.  If you have a DL spot, go for it.  With a non-arm injury, I wouldn’t be too concerned about Dempster coming back and doing pretty much what he’s been doing so far, which is, well, I just told you.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Mark DeRosa – Went to the DL.  It’s a move they were calling “precautionary” and they’re “very optimistic.”  They expected him back right after the “All-Star break.”  DeRosa wanted to play but the “doctors” “said” “he” “shouldn’t.”  Hopefully, his “wrist” will be “fine.”  Then it turned out there was a reason they put everything in quotes as it was all lies and he could be out for a month with a torn tendon sheath.

Tony Pena – Traded to the White Sox.  The Sox now have four setup men.  Guess if they ever have two doubleheaders in one day, they’re set.

Ronald Belisario – Headed for an MRI.  Geez, usually Torre can overwork his relievers for at least one season.  Luis Vizcaino, Scott Proctor and Ron Villone never needed no stinkin’ MRI.

Jose Reyes – Received a cortisone shot.  Supposedly this will push his return back at least another couple of weeks.  Though when Upton received a cortisone shot before the playoffs, it was a boost.  Guess different body parts react differently to cortisone shots.  Glad I didn’t get a cortisone shot in my fingers so I could write the best post ever.

Carlos Beltran – Was seen sharing the same news story as Jose Reyes.  He’s also in no rush to return.  Guess he doesn’t own himself in multiple leagues like me.  If I find out Beltran owns me in a fantasy baseball bloggers league, I’m going on the 60-day DL.

Freddy Sanchez – Has missed five straight games with a back strain.  Since this is all about me, let me say this really leaves me with very few options in a deep league where I own Freddy.  Get well soon, Dirty Sanchez!

Brandon Phillips – 2 HRs.  After his 2nd homer, he pointed into the catcher’s mitt and called the 2nd strikeout for Jay Bruce.

Marc Rzepczynski – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks, 4 walks.  Solid strikeout numbers in the minors, but a bit wild.  He averaged over 10 K/9, but over 4 BB/9.  And, like your Mom’s cooking, he’s under-seasoned.  He’s worth a flier in AL-Only leagues, but I’d avoid him in mixed leagues for now.  Oh, and so you can impress your friends, pronounce his last name the same as Kzepczynski, but with an R.

Vladimir Guerrero – For some reason, the Angels had Ron Kovic in the outfield.  That didn’t go well.  He limped off the field in the 8th inning from discomfort in his knee.  If you own him, hope the Angels say it’s only day-to-day, which would be only a 15-day DL trip.

Juan Rivera – 2 HRs, up to 16 HRs.  Rivera’s a solid option when healthy and hitting.  He’s currently doing both.  He’s also 31-years-old and has never hit more than 23 HRs in a season because he never stays healthy.  Can he this year?  Maybe.  Maybe he’s this year’s Ludwick.  But even if he stays healthy, he has no speed and goes ice cold for extended stretches, like last year when he hit 6 homers and batted .248 in August and September combined.

Erik Bedard – 4 IP, 2 ER, 8 Ks.  On a pitch count, you can’t ask for much better of a start.  Looks solid going forward, if he stays healthy.  The same was once said of Rickie Weeks.

Franklin Gutierrez – The Big FraGu hit another homer yesterday.  Get’m while they’re hot.

Justin Verlander – 6 IP, 3 ER, 11 Ks.  I wish I owned a guy that would strikeout 11 in 6 innings.  Owned in the non-biblical way.

Pat Burrell – Hit his 4th homer yesterday.  Has 20ish more to get.

Jason Bay – HR and 2 steals yesterday.  He’s at 20/8 with 71 RBIs.  If he gets to 35/15 with 130 RBIs, he’s going in the 2nd round next year.  Crazy, right?  Want crazier?  Just wait until Shaughnessy runs with that story in September.  You thought Jim Rice in the Hall was crazy; Bay could win the MVP.

Scott Hairston – HR yesterday.  Since Kris Davis went off to the minors, we lost our Reynolds vs. Davis K race, so I have a new one.  Hairston vs. Holliday, the HR race.  Hairston’s up by 3.  Yes, if you traded Holliday for, say, Rollins and picked up Hairston off waivers, you’d be doing better right now.  This is you.  This is you owning Holliday and doing a double take.

Alfredo Aceves – Will start for Wang on Thursday.  So, he goes, what?  60 pitches?  Worth grabbing in H2H leagues and AL-Only, but I’m not bothering with him in mixed leagues.

Scott Baker – 3 IP, 5 ER.  The troubling aspect (or positive, depending on your POV) is he didn’t give up any homers.  Usually if he’s hit hard, it’s because of HRs.  Think you can just chalk it up to a tough lineup and him having a bad day.

Barry Zito – 8 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 4 hits vs. the Marlins sans Hanley or Sansley, for those portmanteau lovers out there.

Blake DeWitt – HR yesterday as his Mom, Joyce DeWitt was arrested for a DUI.  If only Joba had such fortitude…

David Wright – 0-for-3, batting .050 in July.  C’mon, Alex Cora can only do so much.

Kevin Correia – 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 Ks.  Eh, it was an okay start.  He gets the Giants next, so I’m holding tight for that start.

Luke Scott – HR yesterday and 7 RBIs.  He was almost benched in one league of ours.  Luckily, Glass Chipper didn’t play.

Garrett Jones – 2-for-3, 2 steals. He’s not a pure steal guy, but he does have 15-steal speed.  So it’s a great sign that he’s using that speed, unlike Rasmus, another rookie with 15-steal speed who only has one steal on the year.  As mentioned a few days ago, I own Jones.

Grady Sizemore – 2 HRs.  I said Sell him!  Oh, wait.  No, I’m not backing off on that.  If he has the slightest setback, the Indians will shut him down faster than you can say Rzepczynski.

Paul Konerko – 3 HRs.  Seems like he’s doing for the White Sox what Branyan’s doing for the other side of the plate in Seattle.  Has anyone seen them in the same place at the same time?  Things that make you say hmm…

Bartolo Colon – Yesterday news said, White Sox GM unsure of Colon’s location.  Hey, Kenny, it’s in the large intestine.

Let’s just assume Joe Mauer hits 25 HRs, though no one south of the Arctic Circle has him projected for more than 18.  And even some less optimistic Eskimos have him down for only 20.  Let’s also assume after curing the swine (<–which is prosciutto, I believe), he hits .330.  Let’s also chuck in 80 Runs and 80 RBIs, which seems Brobdingnagian (Word of the Day!) considering time already missed.  I think these are all preposterous numbers considering his back problems, but let’s suspend disbelief.  So Mauer still has 17 more homers, a great average and 60 some-odd Runs/RBIs in him.  In the first half of last year, Doumit hit 11 homers with 42 Runs and 29 RBIs, while batting .329.  Those numbers are in 207 ABs.  He can easily replicate those numbers when he returns.  So if you trade Mauer for, say, an outfielder who still has 30 HRs in his bat (Quentin) or a pitcher (Hamels) or a corner guy (Youkilis) and grab a random schmohawk catcher of waivers, you’re walking out of the trade in good shape. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jake Peavy – San Diego is a beautiful city with a low crime rate, a large Navy presence and it’s a stone’s throw from Tijuana donkey shows.  Who would want to leave that?  Peavy knows how lucky he is to pitch in Petco and the NL.  However, this almost trade should raise red flags for Peavy owners.  He may end up moving at some point this summer.  Hopefully, he lands in Metco.

Homer Bailey – In 12 team leagues and deeper, I’d grab him and not start him for Saturday’s game.  In the minors, he looked flat-out dominant coming into May with a 3-0 record and a 1.86 ERA and a shizzload of Ks — we’re talking 15 Ks in just over 6 innings in one game.  But since then, he’s back to his old ugly self with an overall 3-5 record and a 4.57 ERA.  Caveat emptor, for those in Latin America.

Scott Hairston – Will be the beneficiary of the Gerut trade to Milwaukee.  Hairston’s startable in 12 team leagues and deeper.  He has an outside chance at a 20/12 year while being in a good run producing spot in the Padres order… Oh, who am I fooling?  There’s no good run producing spots in the Padres lineup.

Jesus Guzman – What time is it?  Rookie nookie time!  You’re showing Gamel, the dealer’s showing Guzman.  You win, but it’s nearly a push.  Hopefully, the Giants say saynora to Ishikawa, but Guzman’s call-up may just be for interleague, because Guzman makes Gamel look like Ozzie Smith.  Pick Guzman up now in deep leagues, keepers and NL-Only leagues and ask questions later.

Travis Snider – Optioned to Vegas with the Blue Jays recalling Candi Whistleshorts from Cheetah’s.

Joba Chamberlain – Came out of the game after throwing two-thirds of an inning when he was hit by a comebacker.  Word out of the South Bronx is he’s day-to-day.

Jon Lester – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER.  Lifting the moratorium on Lester-speak to say, ’bout time.

Juan Cruz – 1/3 IP, 4 ER.  Kazaam!

Juan Rivera – 2 homers in three days.  Get’m while they’re hot.

LaTroy Hawkins – Threw a perfect inning with 2 Ks.  I dropped Sampson from all my teams.

Bill Hall – 0-for-3 with 2 Ks and 5 men left on. The one where he actually hit the ball in play was an inning ending double play with the bases loaded. Meanwhile, Gamel had his cards read to him by part-time pitcher, part-time astrologer, Dave Bush.

Rafael Betancourt – A Cuddle Boy spotting getting the save.  Wood’s still the closer, but that may change after a few more blowups. Could Betancourt step in?  Not very likely, but I picked him up in two leagues — My name is Grey and I’m a save whore.

Pablo Sandoval – Took Eckstein out on a slide at 2nd.  It looked like Nikki Blonsky slide tackling DJ Qualls.

Zach Greinke – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 Ks.  Take that, Greinke!  Oh, wait, that was still a solid start.

Derrek Holland – Will start Friday against the Astros.  No DH?  Yes, to DH.

Raul Ibanez – Hit his 15th homer and racked up his 40th RBI.  Doode has been way underrepresented in the daily roundups.  The move to Citizens Bank obviously was going to be a boon to his value, but he’s singlehandedly carried me in my 15 team league.  If Razzball had a Walk of Fame, Raul would be right next Asdrubal and Wandy.  (Asdrubal just because of his silly name.)

Kris Medlen – 3 IP, 5 ER.  He looked like a nervous wreck, balking and walking.   His fastball has a ton of movement, but he needs to find his Quan.  Since he’s a rookie pitcher, he comes with risk and upside.

Edwin Jackson – 8 IP, 3 ER, 7 Ks.  After the game, when a reporter asked Leyland why he let Jackson throw 132 pitches, he responded by blowing out a smoke ring and saying, “I’m old school.  And don’t spell school with a K, that’s new skool.”

Ian Kinsler – Steal yesterday.  With Mark Reynolds breathing down his neck, he became the first 10/10 player on the year.

Mark Reynolds – Mini-Donkey was at it again last night with a homer and a steal, joining Ian Kinsler as the only 10/10 players in the majors.  Can the Diamondbacks please play 100 more games in Florida?

Curtis Granderson – Hit his 11th homer yesterday.  He could coast to a 25/20 season.

Justin Morneau – Twins score 20 runs.  Morneau goes 0-for-2 with one run.  Ticker tease!

Bartolo Colon – Clear the deck!  We have a Colon blow in Chicago!  He was actually another ticker tease for Fantasy Razzball as only one run of 8 was earned.

Adam Wainwright – 8 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks.  Even more encouraging is his 17/4 K/BB in the last 22 2/3 innings.

Brad Ziegler/Andrew Bailey – Ziegler gave up the losing run, Bailey gave up two runs earlier.  I called up the A’s front office and asked to speak to the closer, and the receptionist said, “Who?”

Troy Percival – 1/3 IP, 2 ER.  I don’t think he gets removed from the job, they’ll probably just place him on the Disgraceful List out of respect.  I own Wheeler in a league or two, Nelson might be called on too.

Tony Gwynn Jr. – Traded to the Padres.  All across San Diego, I picture sons approaching their fathers with this question, “Dad, why do you have a jersey of a guy that stinks?”

Joey Votto -  After a week of tests, there’s word that Votto could come back this weekend.  Turns out he had an ear infection.  Okay, here’s the thing, my meth addict neighbor could diagnose an ear infection.  WTF?  Seriously.

Greetings, fantasy baseball friends.  Jersey Joe, a new columnist, here with the low-down on the AL starters who will climb the hill twice this week (Monday-Sunday).  Always remember that predicting pitching performance is like predicting the weather, but that said, here are my thoughts for the week…

RANKINGS

1.  Zack Greinke (KC) – CHW (Colon), @LAA (Loux)
My $.02:  He’s the AL shizz right now at the SP spot, no doubt.  Don’t need to check any matchups, opponent OPS, etc.  Start him until further notice.

2.  Felix Hernandez (SEA) – TEX (Millwood), @MIN (Liriano)
My $.02:  The King is claiming his throne.  4-0, more than a K per IP, and a manageable walk rate.  Like the Zack Attack, start him until further notice.

3.  Erik Bedard (SEA) – TEX (Padilla), @MIN (Blackburn)
My $.02:  Interestingly enough, Bedard’s getting his act together in a free-agent season.  Coincidence?  I think not.  No offense, but this guy’s not a ballplayer – he’s a Canadian fur-trapper trapped in pitcher’s body.  I am fairly confident he doesn’t like baseball most of the time.  But he likes it this year, because if he throws well enough, he can convince the Pinstripes or some other team to hand him $53.3 M for 4 years – yup, enough money to build a start-up fur-trapping business into a Canadian conglomerate.  This week, he gets a Hamilton-less Rangers O-ffence (sticking with the Canadian theme) in Safeco, and then the Mariners visit the Twinkies.  Roll with him.  Especially in Canada.

4.  Jon Lester (BOS) — Mon-@NYY (Chamberlain), Sat-TB (Kazmir)
My $.02:  Let’s play good news/bad news.  Bad news: He’s starting in the JetStream and the Yanks’ OPS vs. LHP is 993(!).  Good news: He’s pitched extremely well against both the Pinstripers and the Rays in his (short) career.  More good news: he beat cancer!  If he’s on your team, go get yourself one of those Live Strong yellow bracelets, start him this week, and enjoy life.

5.  Matt Garza (TB) — Tue-BAL (Uehara), Sun-@BOS (Beckett)
My $.02:  Like most TB starters, Garza is a straight-up homeboy… Yup, he likes pitching in the dome he calls home.  Plus, his career numbers versus the boys from Charm City are fantastic.  So his first start looks great.  Start #2 vs. the Sawx?  Yeah, he’s thrown well against them in the past, but I’d like this a lot more if the game was down by the bay (where the watermelons grow…sing it, moms and dads!).  With Beckett’s struggles, though, Garza looks a bit better.  A solid start in most leagues.

6.  Scott Kazmir (TB) — Mon-BAL (Eaton), Sat-@BOS (Lester)
My $.02:  Kaz’s been Forrest’s box of chocolates this season – Joe Maddon and fantasy owners are scratching their heads over his inconsistency.  I really like Start #1: Baltimore’s OPS vs. LHP is 10th in AL, Adam Eaton isn’t, umm, good, and Kaz feasts at home like his rotation brothers.  At Boston against Jon Lester, of course, gives me pause, but the vaunted BOS lineup has struggled vs. LHP in ‘09 (OPS: 9th in AL).  I’m feeling two nice ones from Scotty this week.

7.  Edwin Jackson (DET) — Mon-MIN (Liriano), Sat-@CLE (Reyes)
My $.02:  Love him this week.  Whatever leagues you play, you should start Edwin and enjoy the bounty a-comin’.  He’s pitched extremely well this season despite a dip in his K/9, and the breakout is quietly happening.  Minny’s got Mauer back, but the aside from Morneau-Mauer-Kubel, there’s not much there.  His opposing starters?  Well, Liriano’s not himself, and Anthony Reyes is thisclose to getting sent down – if the Indians had some healthy/good options, he’d be gone already.  Don’t leave Eddy on the bench this week, my friends.  Please.

8.  Joba Chamberlain (NYY) — Mon-BOS (Lester), Sat-@BAL (Eaton)
My $.02:  Ahh, Joba.  The hype machine (not the blogosphere – let’s get that straight) is disappointed you’re not throwing 97 mph anymore.  Me?  I’m not as demanding – 93 mph is fine by me, friend.  Just watch the walks (13 BB in 23.1 IP) – you can’t rely on the Yanks’ infield D to keep bailing you out with double plays, unless Mark Teixiera can play all 4 spots at the same time (which, incidentally, he should be able to do, for all that dough he’s getting).  Not crazy about his start against the Sawx, who are patient enough to wait pitchers out and then pounce. (That’s essentially what happened in his start vs. BOS last week.)  But with Papi’s struggles and Francona’s insistence on letting him work through them in the heart of the order, I’m less concerned.  He can handle the O’s top-heavy lineup in Start #2, and with Adam Eaton on the other end, he should have run support (over/under NYY runs: 7?).  Take a shot with Joba this week.

9.  Francisco Liriano (MIN) — Mon-@DET (Jackson), Sat-SEA (Hernandez)
My $.02:  Picture this – A sunny day in Fantasy Land.  All is not well, however.  Cries ring in the streets, as I call out in desperation for a familiar name.  “2006 Francisco Liriano?  Where are you?  2006 Francisco Liriano?  Come on home, please!  Where are you?”  “I’m sorry, Jersey Joe.  We found him, but he’s lost an arm.”  “Which one?” I ask, hoping for the best.  “The one with the devastating slider and fastball, I’m afraid.”   This week: A righty-heavy DET lineup at Comerica (4th in AL OPS vs. LHP) and then the punch less M’s at home (though he opposes King Felix).  Classic “one good start, one bad start” situation.  I’d probably start him in most leagues, but don’t expect 2006 again.  Like, ever.

10.  Josh Beckett (BOS) — Tue-@NYY (Burnett), Sun-TB (Garza)
My $.02:  2009 hasn’t been kind to Josh.  36 H in 28.2 IP…not so good.  But what really gives me the willies about him?  16 BB in those same 28.2 IP.  He walked 34 last season… in 174.1 IP.  Yikes.  This week, he slings the hardball in the JetStream (New Yankee Stadium) against a rejuvenated Yankee offense before heading home to face Garza and the Rays.  Another pertinent note about Beckett – his ERA at Fenway the last 3 years: 5.65, 4.17, 4.84.  So what am I saying?  You probably can’t bench him, but he doesn’t look poised for much success this week

11.  Brett Anderson (OAK) — Mon-LAA (Loux), Sat-TOR (Tallet)
My $.02:  He’s a nice young SP who has thrown much better than his numbers attest, and he’s at home in the cavernous Oakland Mausoleum (where hitters go to die… just ask Matt Holliday!) for both starts.  Plus, his opposing starters stink.  On the flip side – the Toronto offense is raking these days, and LAA can dink and dunk their way to keeping it close.  But I’m feeling B.A. this week, so if you trust a random fantasy blogger you’ve never met, take a chance on Brett (and me) and start him.  ***Injury note: Anderson is dealing with a blister, but it apparently shouldn’t be a problem.  Just be careful here

12.  A.J. Burnett (NYY) — Tue-BOS (Beckett), Sun-@BAL (Uehara)
My $.02:  Look, the guy’s got nipple rings.  That, to me, says “No Fear”.  I mean, my nipples chafe when I wear a tight t-shirt, and I consider that painful enough to take a sick day.  So, we know he’s not intimidated by the mighty Sawx hitters, and the numbers bear that out, as he’s traditionally pitched well against them (at least until he was bombed by them this season).  But something’s not quite right with A.J. this season.  Adjusting to a new team?  New piercings in sensitive places?  Vandalizing school property?  Blowing up a car?  Whatever the reason, Tony and Carmella would ground him – should you?  Well, with BOS at home, and then a second start against the O’s, a team he’s struggled against in his career, I’m not very confident.  If you do start him, you might receive a fantasy purple nurple from the Nipple King.  Be prepared

13.  Kyle Davies (KC) — Tue-CHW (Floyd), Sun-@LAA (Ortega)
My $.02:  Yeah, he’s basically become a usable starter in AL Only and deep mixed leagues, as scary as that sounds.  This week, two so-so offenses challenge Kyle’s trip up the AL Starter ranks.  The White Sox don’t hit RHP well and fare much better at home, and while the Angels of LA can bleed a pitcher to death with Mike Scioscia’s version of small ball, I’m just not afraid of that lineup without Bad Vlad.  Borderline, but I’d probably start him in AL Only leagues

14.  Kevin Millwood (TEX) — Mon-@SEA (Hernandez), Sat-@CHW (Colon)
My $.02:  Believe it or not, he’s a decent option this week.  The mighty (lucky, so far) M’s sport an OPS vs. RHP under .700 (which puts them next to last in the AL in that category), and Ozzie’s boys are just one spot better.  If you need him, use him

15.  Dallas Braden (OAK) — Tue-LAA (Ortega), Sun-TOR (Cecil)
My $.02:  Every year, there’s a few SP that come out of nowhere and give you stats for a stretch.  Braden’s been one of those guys this season.  Yeah, there’s some talent here, but its not clear how much.  Regardless, with both starts in Oakland, I think you should roll the dice, as the Angels don’t hit lefties much and the Jays are starting a rookie (Brett Cecil) who clearly isn’t read for prime time against Braden in Start #2

16.  Gavin Floyd (CHW) — Tue-@KC (Davies), Sun-TEX (Padilla)
My $.02:  I was more bullish on this guy than most, because: 1) he was a 1st round pick and has some talent; and, 2) he had a lights-out spring training.  Now, I know what you’re thinking: spring training doesn’t matter.  Hold on, I say; for a young guy trying to consolidate his skill development, I think it does.  Unfortunately, Gavin’s struggled in the early going and I don’t have a clear sense of what to expect.  KC stinks against righties, and TEX doesn’t hit well away from Arlington…but again, this one’s a crapshoot.  I’d probably sit him this early in the season for a safer option

17.  Rick Porcello (DET) — Tue-MIN (Blackburn), Sun-@CLE (Carmona)
My $.02:  Not a terrible slate this week for the young star.  His problem seems to be command; he loses his stuff after a few innings, and once he falls behind, he can’t seem to figure out how to work his way out of it.  Until he strings together a few solid starts, I’d bench him except in deep AL Only leagues.  But he is coming, folks.  Be patient

18.  Nick Blackburn (MIN) — Tue-@DET (Porcello), Sun-SEA (Bedard)
My $.02:  Are you chasing wins?  Because there’s no other reason to have this guy in your lineup otherwise.  His ERA might be passable, but he doesn’t K anyone and his WHIP won’t help you any.  Not the worst matchups in the world, I guess, as the Tigers and Mariners don’t exactly hammer righties, so if he’s on your roster, you can use him.  Just know what you’re getting – a shot at two wins.  Nothing more, and possibly, a lot less (meaning damage to your ERA and WHIP could hurt you.  To me, the down outweighs the up, but it’s your team, right?

19.  Bartolo Colon (CHW) — Mon-@KC (Greinke), Sat-TEX (Millwood)
My $.02:  Don’t call it a comeback!  Yes, the Chubby One (and look at that hair!) has returned, but that doesn’t mean you need to get on the bus.  Because if you did, it would likely tip over.  Or, he’d try to eat you.  Do you want that?  I didn’t think so.

20.  Koji Uehara (BAL) — Tue-@TB (Garza), Sun-NYY (Burnett)
My $.02:  I don’t speak Japanese, but if I could, I’d draw/write characters that translate into the following description for Koji’s chances this week: a major typhoon and Godzilla crushing Tokyo – at the same time.  Look, could he surprise me?  Sure.  But I just don’t think his stuff (caution: ScoutSpeak) is good enough to handle AL East lineups.  I’m issuing a hold on Koji for this week.  Wait for the right matchups with this guy, or you shall suffer the consequences

21.  Fausto Carmona (CLE) — Tue-@TOR (Cecil), Sun-DET (Porcello)
My $.02:  It seemed like just yesterday that Fausto was licking those green midges off his lips like some leftover poppy seeds from a toasty bagel, mowing down Yankee hitters while Joe Torre slept, err, sat stone-faced on the bench.  Fast-forward to 2009, and it appears that he’s become one of those midges on the mound.  If you like pain, I invite you to allow Fausto to throw home run balls for you to the Toronto Bomb Jays and the Detroit Tigers this week.  Otherwise, please bench him

22.  Anthony Reyes (CLE) — Mon-@TOR (Tallet), Sat-DET (Jackson)
My $.02:  Don’t start him.  Under any circumstances.

23.  Brian Tallet (TOR) — Mon-CLE (Reyes), Sat-@OAK (Anderson)
My $.02:  Nope.

Mike Jacobs hit two home runs yesterday. Baseball Tonight’s Chris Singleton said Jacobs could hit “a lot” of home runs if he stayed healthy. You know what? Singleton has “a lot” of insight. Funny thing happened on the way to June, Mike Jacobs has thirteen home runs. More than Fielder, Tex, Morneau, Pena and Miguel Cabrera. Now I’m not saying Jacobs will be more valuable than these guys, but Jacobs is way more affordable in a trade. He’s a lot like Carlos Pena in ‘07. Both showed power, but lacked consistency and health. Poor average — check. Clouds of doubt about what they’ll be worth at the end of the year — check, check. Both playing in front of near capacity crowds (for a WNBA game) — check. Pena’s last year owners can also attest that if you own him, you’re better off holding onto him, cause you’ll never get value for him. But if you don’t own him, he’ll cost a lot less than the big boys. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Homer Bailey – About to be called up. Remember when he was their most hyped prospect? Since then, Bruce and Votto have had great starts, they acquire Volquez, and Cueto has a spot in the rotation. Don’t expect much from Bailey. He doesn’t really deserve the call-up as he hasn’t corrected his biggest flaw – wildness. He walked 29 in 66 IP at Triple-A. For Bailey’s sake, we hope the expectations are set closer to Fogg than Volquez.

Mark Prior – Shoulder surgery for Prior causing him to miss the rest of the season. In other news, taco diarrhea burns.

Tim Hudson – I was watching the game when he left with his leg injury. It didn’t look that bad, but then again I get these rashes on my leg and I’ve diagnosed myself as having The African Gong-Gong Disease and prescribed myself a wet towelie and two Little Orphan Orange Otter Pops, so I may not be the best person to ask. Leg problems will probably shelve him for a week. Best case scenario, he misses two starts and returns fine. Worst case, he returns too soon and really messes things up by favoring his injured leg. This is some Trapper John, M.D. suspense!

Brain Bannister – One run in 7+ IP. He looks like a good guy to not pick up in mixed leagues.

Troy Glaus – Hit a HR yesterday. LaRussa says Glaus is going to start hitting more home runs now that the weather is heating up. What you need to ask yourself, is this sober LaRussa talking or drunk LaRussa? I think it’s sober LaRussa.

Ian Snell – If you have him still in your lineup, I’m assuming there was a death in the family and you haven’t check your team in a while. Or you’re just dopey. Either way, my condolences.

Nate McLouth – Ended May with a .279 average. That’s a better representation than April’s .330. Maybe Karabell’s intern misread his refrigerator magnets.

Chase Utley – 20th HR/6th steal. I picked him for NL MVP, so I obviously believe. He’s also one of the few guys that I don’t have on any team, but still can’t root against. Take that schadenfreude (Word of the Day)!

Shawn Hill – Gave up an ill-timed home run to… Who am I kidding? No one cares what Shawn Hill did yesterday.

Chad Tracy – Batting fourth, hitting his second home run three days. CoJack will be out at least a week with a quad strain.

JR Towles – Batting .145 with five hits in all of May.

Bartolo Colon – Now 3-0. I still wouldn’t go near him with a three foot churro. (Only partly because waving a three foot churro near Bartolo would be similar to going to a grizzly bear observatory wearing nothing but bikini briefs made of Marshmallow Fluff…. Talk about a Fluffernutter — oofa!)

Alexei Ramirez/Alexi Casilla – Both can provide some value if you’re weak at MI. Also, if one of them books two dates on the same night, they could pull the old switcheroo and send the other guy out on one of the dates, which is a lot easier than bringing both dates to the same place and then running back and forth switching outfits ala Alex P. Keaton.

Adrian Gonzalez – I’m not really surprised he’s still hitting bombs, but I’d like to see him hit them in July and August.

Carlos Beltran – HRs in 2 straight games to boost his season total to 7. If you invested a top pick in him, you’ve got to be hoping this is the start of one of his streaks.

Johnny Cueto – I said I wouldn’t write about him again until he proved himself. Well, 5 IP of no-hit ball pulled me back in, but he’s still giving up fly balls (10) and not making enough people miss (3). Love the upside, but don’t get too excited. Worth holding onto, but don’t be afraid to bench him if the matchup is bad.

JJ Putz – Another horrendous night. 4 runs in 2/3 of an inning. Who does he think he is – Carlos Silva?

Ryan Church – Hit a home run after returning from his concussion. Talking about the concussion, Church had this to say, “I really know how Snuka felt after that Piper’s Pit.”