Barry Zito

Scott Evans

Two-Startapalooza — Week 3

| Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers | 95 Comments

by: +

I begin with this:

Foul Ball Chug

The scene above is from Wednesday’s Mariners v. Astros game, and I realize that the clip has made the rounds by now. Still, I’m compelled to bring it up because it is truly wonderful. From the leaning grab, to the triumphant hoist and subsequent chug, this man wins the week. It always seems like the most brilliant moments happen at crappy games in empty stadiums, and this is no exception. What a hero.

Oh yeah, two-starters… Week three’s look-ahead is below. As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Yost Asks Holland If He Minds Going Dutch

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 560 Comments

by: +

Yost would tell you that Holland is still the closer, but Kelvin Herrera should be the closer in KC. No, there’s no official closer change, but it’s obvious. You really only had to watch the last two games for confirmation, and Malcolm Gladwell would tell you to Blink. In his last game, Holland took the save to the very brink. Herrera had opposing hitters’ bats in the clink. In my daily diet, I eat mutton, it’s high in zinc. I call my therapist, Saran, and this is my shrink…rap! Sorry, I just mentally transported back to my days of Bum wine and roses when I thought I was black and I’d start freestyling. Every teenager who thinks they’re cool right now, so did I and now I’m a fantasy baseball blogger. Muahahahahaha… So, what I began saying was Yost can say whatever he wants on the Royals closer situation, but Herrera is the better pitcher right now, and he could be a Donkeycorn by the middle of May. I would continue to hold Holland, but Kelvin should be owned, as well. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dan Pants

Friday I’m in Love with Yu

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 58 Comments

by: +

We have almost a week of baseball in the books and Yu Darvish‘s Marvishlous 14 K 1-hitter and Chris Davis‘ power surge have been early standouts. Don’t own either? That’s a shame. Feel like quitting? Not yet, Razzball Nation, I am here to help. You may remember me, Dan, or my alter ego Blairtch, from such fantasy Friday roundups as Mike Trout Saved My Season, But Jewel Saved My Soul and Harper: Better, Faster, Stronger, and my popular online fantasy advice guide, Quit Losing Already, You Loser! I will be recapping Friday nights in fantasy baseball, providing plenty of references to The Cure and fantasy advice so Grey can use his weekends to take care of business, i.e. drink all those daiquiris you’ve been buying him and continue travelling across America interviewing players and managers, scouting top prospects, and attending round table discussions featuring only the most prestigious faculty, alumni and council members at the Fantasy Baseball College of Charleston. So do not worry, I’ll be here throughout the season to cover Friday’s full slate of games for the loyal weekend warriors. There are lots of players to cover this week so let’s get right to it.

Here’s what happened Friday night in fantasy baseball [*Opening Week Edition*]:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Paul Finally Looking Like Gold After Two Months Of Schmidt

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 424 Comments

by: +

Paul Goldschmidt homered yesterday for the 2nd time in two games and third in his last four games.  He’s also hitting around .400 in the last week.  Goldschmidt may have had some Growing Pains, but don’t call him Tracey.  Neil Young and I have been searchin’ for a heart of Goldschmidt, and finally AuShizz is translating from German into actual stats.  Go for the Goldschmidt!  Now I ain’t saying Paul’s a Goldschmidtta.  There’s Goldschmidt in dar hills!  John Jacob Jingleheimer Goldschmidt, his name is on my waivers too!  Okay, breathe, Grey, you got puns… Breathe!  Remove the cigarette and put on the oxygen mask — stat!  Goldschmidt probably won’t hit above .250, but he can hit another 20 homers and have solid counting stats.  If an impatient owner dropped him early on when he was AuMess, I’d grab him.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Memorial Day Sale At The Big K

| Fantasy Baseball Notes | 669 Comments

by: +

With games like this, who needs healthy elbows?  Certainly not Chris Sale.   Four score and two dozen ‘and that’s me quoting me’s ago, I posted our AL-Only team.  I went on about what a shambles the pitching staff was and how our only bat was Evan Longoria.  Sure, we had high hopes for Brad Peacock, but our starters were cheap tequila bad.  The more you looked at them, the worse The Gas Face you got.  All we had was Jake Peavy and Chris Sale.  ZOINKS!!!

Please, blog, may I have some more?