You read the title right. In fact, we went over the first five in Part I right here. Are you ready for the last five, plus a bonus uno mas section? The answer is yes, by the way. So… I guess I might have some splainin’ to do at the end of the year, but I’m proud to throw out the wildest, aka BOLDEST predictions out there. Trust me, these will all be two-drink minimum statements I’ll be laying down. But we ain’t calling this bold because I have a grudge against italics. And I’m not just spouting crazy for crazy’s sake… which I know, brace yourselves, is much different than you’re used to. I’m also going to be sharing evidence to support my claims. And everyone does 10-list’s, so I’m going to be one better, cause that’s how I roll. Right down that hill over there. Hey, you want to steal 10 VCR’s? Here I am, pushing you out of the way to steal 11. Before I ask you why we’re stealing a dead media format, I’m quickly running, cause those be sirens I hear. So, you’re going to eat 10 of those Cool Ranch Doritos Loco Taco’s? Well then, challenge accepted. Actually, wait, no. I take that back. You’ve found something I don’t want 10 of, much less 11. Anyhow, let us continue with the six-spot.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Barry Bonds
Miguel Montero is out with a torn meniscus. I can think of other cuss words that his owners may be thinking right now. A knee problem seems like a bad thing for a guy who’s supposed to be crouching for 9 innings. Like a can’t-Catch 22. Montero was a popular sleeper pick to enter the premium catcher tier of Mauer/Martinez/McCann after a strong 2nd half, but the only thing he’ll have in common is the M factor. It’s unclear if he’ll be out for at least a month or longer. Either way, Snyder now has a full time gig. And that’s about where the good news ends. Don’t get caught up in the Montero afterglow. Snyder has a career .233 average in over fourteen hundred at-bats and averages about 15 homers over a full season of ABs. So, ya know, you can probably do better even if Chris Snyder hit a homer yesterday with 5 RBIs in Arizona’s blowout (last time Arizona scored that much on Pittsburgh was the Super Bowl). Actually, Snyder’s a surefire top 10 catcher if he gets 100 more games against the Pirates. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Frank Francisco – I go about buying closers like I buy wine. I pick up a closer. Swirl it around in my glass, take a quick waft and whiff then I guzzle it. Two Buck Chuck tastes the same to me as a twenty-year-old Bordeaux. In fact, I don’t even know if a twenty-year-old Bordeaux is good. I’m guessing and too lazy to Google it. I’ll drink a red wine with chicken, a Chardonnay with a Nathan all-beef frank. Doesn’t matter to me. Mad Dog 20/20 and ice passes the “cheap and it will get me drunk” test. So it’s only natural I ended up with a bunch of cheap closers. Frank-Frank was one of them. Belch. Frank2 is out for the near future in favor of Neftali Feliz. Could Feliz run with the job and end up having it all year? Yup. Frank-Frank went womp-womp. I wouldn’t drop Francisco yet, except in the shallowest of leagues.
Please, blog, may I have some more?It’s November. Oscar contenders hit theaters, Xmas shopping begins and baseball free agents wait by the phone to find out who’s overpaying for them. Picture: Andruw Jones sitting by his phone, waiting for it to ring, picking it up occasionally thinking it has rung.
Please, blog, may I have some more?1. Jorge Posada
.338/91/20/90/2
At 36, easily his best year since 2003. If you saw this year coming, kudos to you. Maybe you should start your own blog called, “I Lied About Knowing How Well Posada Was Going To Do This Year.” Sixty points above his career average spells one thing: F-L-U-K-E.