The Pirates and Cardinals played a marathon game yesterday. 19 innings that saw 47 lineup changes, 16 different pitchers and 12,000 fans at Busch Stadium leaving simply because the beer cutoff was in the 7th inning. “This is baseball sober? Damn, I’d prefer a third divorce.” Tim Kurkjian’s voice is cracking at the sheer craziness of the game.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ryan Franklin was replaced yesterday, but it came so begrudgingly, La Russa wouldn’t even announce who would replace him. GM Mozeliak held a knife to a squirrel’s neck to try and get La Russa to tell us who would be the closer and still nothing.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Some rejected titles for this post were, “Adam’s Appendix Is Dunn,” “Dunn’s Appendix Chooses Worst Of Three Outcomes,” and “Dunn Develops Killer App.” First Holliday, now Adam Dunn with a busted appendix. I heard if the doctor gets cold during the surgery, he’s going to snuggle inside Dunn like Luke did with his tauntaun.Please, blog, may I have some more?
From human trafficker to Rangers fifth starter, Alexi Ogando throws gas. (Maybe that’s how he got caught trafficking humans. He was mule-ing a human in his colon and accidentally threw gas. Not sure.) I say, mootie lootie doo to all of that, which means nothing, though it might in another language.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last week, my borderline fantasy starter post was nominated for a Clio. Lost to Draper, but what else is new? Drunks get all the breaks. Just being nominated was a thrill. My line for last week was: 2.17 ERA in 108 IP (that’s only 26 earned runs, you’re welcome).Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jake Peavy was walking off the field before the trainers even got to him. On a scale of bad signs, that’s around a 9. That’s on a scale of 1 to 8. The good news is it’s not his arm. It’s his dorsi muscle.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The week that was showed us that Carlos Zambrano has issues, no big trades yet and LeBron is going to the Knicks. Or I wish anyways. It’s stealing all the headlines right now in the sports world, that and the underpants gnomes.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Virginia is renaming a city for Stephen Strasburg. An old Yankee reliever is renaming himself Myke Stanton so he shows up again in Google. It’s a brand new day, Sting. You stink POO-holes, however you spell your name. Hanley, don’t wanna run out a pop-up?Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s finally here. The Strasburg watch is finally over as the second coming of fantasy Jesus is here. I saw him in the cave on Sunday getting limber for his 2 awaited starts. I am tempering expectations, since he is going to be on a innings limit.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In a year where umpires like Joe West and Bill Hohn are doing all they can to show they are far from perfect, Jim Joyce went one step further by having his imperfection blow someone else’s perfection. It’s like that O.Please, blog, may I have some more?