The Pirates and Cardinals played a marathon game yesterday. 19 innings that saw 47 lineup changes, 16 different pitchers and 12,000 fans at Busch Stadium leaving simply because the beer cutoff was in the 7th inning. ”This is baseball sober? Damn, I’d prefer a third divorce.” Tim Kurkjian’s voice is cracking at the sheer craziness of the game. Can you believe this game, fellas?!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ryan Franklin was replaced yesterday, but it came so begrudgingly, La Russa wouldn’t even announce who would replace him. GM Mozeliak held a knife to a squirrel’s neck to try and get La Russa to tell us who would be the closer and still nothing. “There’s only two things in this world I hold dear — my Mom and my word and I’m mum on both.” That was what I imagine La Russa said. Mitchell Boggs, CPA seems most likely to see the first chances. Behind him, Motte, then MLB’s poet laureate, Miguel Batista. Keep in mind, Franklin isn’t out of the picture completely either. La Russa is way too loyal to his guys. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Skip Schumaker – Headed to the DL with a hyperextended elbow. Somewhere, Shawn Michaels’ elbow says, “Pfft.”
Ian Stewart – Sent to Triple-A. Pretty sad move for me to hear. Mini-Mini Donkey was a one-time favorite. I was thinking how this is one of those moves that if you don’t play fantasy, you’re probably like whatevs. Deep thoughts with Grey Albright, I suppose.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Some rejected titles for this post were, “Adam’s Appendix Is Dunn,” “Dunn’s Appendix Chooses Worst Of Three Outcomes,” and “Dunn Develops Killer App.” First Holliday, now Adam Dunn with a busted appendix. I heard if the doctor gets cold during the surgery, he’s going to snuggle inside Dunn like Luke did with his tauntaun. Big Donkey only needs 5 days to heal because he already had an axe scar in that area they could re-use. The turnaround time is so quick now on these surgeries that you have to wonder why it took the Twins so many years to remove their appendix (Nick Punto). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Carlos Quentin – 4-for-6, 3 RBIs, 2 Runs and his 2nd homer. He’s now hitting .500 on the year. If he can stay healthy, he can have a huge year. Though that if is the size of Dunn’s appendix.Please, blog, may I have some more?
From human trafficker to Rangers fifth starter, Alexi Ogando throws gas. (Maybe that’s how he got caught trafficking humans. He was mule-ing a human in his colon and accidentally threw gas. Not sure.) I say, mootie lootie doo to all of that, which means nothing, though it might in another language. Once an outfielder, but Ogando’s no herbathrowdite. Ogando tops out at 97 MPH, strikes people out and throws ground balls. That’s a yes, please and thank you. Unfortunately, he has a few things going against him. His home park, his control and he has no experience starting in the major leagues. In AL-Only leagues, I’d absolutely take a flyer to see if he can run with the rotation spot and force his way into the rotation even after Hunter returns. In mixed leagues, I’m taking a wait and see approach. In general, getting roofied is no fun, but it feels like it hurts more in April. Anyway, here’s what else is going on in fantasy baseball:
Mat Latos – Will start the year on the DL. Thanks a Latos, Mat! That’s you. I told you yesterday to trade him for sixty-five cents on the dollar. I might lower that to fifty-five cents today. It could be thirty-five cents by mid-April.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last week, my borderline fantasy starter post was nominated for a Clio. Lost to Draper, but what else is new? Drunks get all the breaks. Just being nominated was a thrill. My line for last week was: 2.17 ERA in 108 IP (that’s only 26 earned runs, you’re welcome). The WHIP was 1.19 with 7 Wins and 71 Ks. To recap, these aren’t guys I’d drop anyone worthwhile to get, these starters are meant for streaming purposes and all of their ownership in ESPN is under 50%. These streamers are in no particular order. Also, in the final month of the season, managers juggle their lineups more, so there’s no guarantee all of these guys are listed on the right day. Anyway, here’s some borderline starters for this week in fantasy baseball:
Friday, September 3rd
Fausto Carmona – I’m not a fan of Carmona, but he gets the French in Safeco, talk about an easy victory. French may just start pitching for the Indians halfway through the game.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jake Peavy was walking off the field before the trainers even got to him. On a scale of bad signs, that’s around a 9. That’s on a scale of 1 to 8. The good news is it’s not his arm. It’s his dorsi muscle. Peavy’s a dolphin? Put down your noisemakers, it’s not that good of news. To paraphrase Ludacris, “Peavy back bad, Peavy not good… Peavy back don’t do stuff that yo’ back do… (Repeat chorus 17 times.)” Daniel Hudson, rocking a 3.47 ERA in a hitters’ park in the minors, could get the call if Peavy needs a DL stint. You know that guy you see when you search for Tim Hudson on the waiver wire? That’s him! He has more than a K/IP in the minors, though his control is iffy at times. He’s worth a pick up in AL-Only or deep mixed keeper leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Aaron Harang – Headed to the DL with back spasms. Dusty said, “If he dies, he dies,” while wrapped in a Reds flag.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The week that was showed us that Carlos Zambrano has issues, no big trades yet and LeBron is going to the Knicks. Or I wish anyways. It’s stealing all the headlines right now in the sports world, that and the underpants gnomes.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Virginia is renaming a city for Stephen Strasburg. An old Yankee reliever is renaming himself Myke Stanton so he shows up again in Google. It’s a brand new day, Sting. You stink POO-holes, however you spell your name. Hanley, don’t wanna run out a pop-up? Have a good life! Change came, nephew. The mollywhopping, pony stick carrying, Mike Stanton is in town. No homers though. Sad trombone. 3-for-5 and a rope to right in his fourth at-bat. He looked fast down the line and absolutely gigantic. Like Frank Thomas big. Maybe it was the 3-D glasses I was wearing. Rudy and I were speaking about Stanton. We agreed. He could hit 15-20 homers and .280. Or he could hit .220. It’s rookie nookie, you gotta decide if it’s worth the blisters. Now for Big Baby Jesus, Stephen Strasburg. He had his last tune up tonight against minor league hitters… Oh, wait, that was the Pirates. My bad. Strasburg was introduced, “Last name: Ever. First name: Greatest.” For a nifty trick, in the 2nd inning he threw a 98 MPH fastball and also caught it. He looked flat-out dominating at times. Towards the end of the game, he really started heating up — maybe he put his arm in the microwave for 15 seconds on both sides — and he looked unhittable. He did after all strikeout 14 hitters. And he homered three times. Once off himself. At other times, he looked like a rookie making mistakes. I mean, he did give up a homer to Delwyn “I Don’t Even Know How To Spell My First Name” Young. I think there’s going to be a bunch of 6 inning, 2-3 earned run, 8-10 K games and some wins. Fantastic, for sure. He could win the Rookie of the Year over Heyward. But you didn’t just back into owning 1999 Pedro. Not yet at least. Maybe next year. Yesterday, one of our three girl readers got Sabathia, Dunn and Ervin for Strasburg. That’s tremendous value for Big Baby Jesus. I’d explore how hyped he is in your league too. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Cameron Maybin – Will sit in favor of Stanton. That’s so Maybin! Oh, wait. No, it’s not. In NL-Only keeper leagues, I would hold onto Maybin. Elsewhere… Well, if you worried your team can’t continue without Maybin, you have bigger fish to fry. Marlin pun! Kinda!Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s finally here. The Strasburg watch is finally over as the second coming of fantasy Jesus is here. I saw him in the cave on Sunday getting limber for his 2 awaited starts. I am tempering expectations, since he is going to be on a innings limit.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In a year where umpires like Joe West and Bill Hohn are doing all they can to show they are far from perfect, Jim Joyce went one step further by having his imperfection blow someone else’s perfection. It’s like that O.Please, blog, may I have some more?