Japhet Amador is a giant man, standing at 6-foot-4, weighing in at 315 pounds. In the Mexican League, where he’s played for the last four years, they called him El Gran Burrito. Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto once remarked that Amador is welcome at the Presidential Palace anytime, as long as Amador brings his own snacks. When Jose Altuve heard the Astros signed Amador, Altuve was thrilled. No more walking around for Altuve; Amador will just carry him around in a baby bjorn. I watched video of Amador and I’ve never seen such a slow bat through the zone. He looks like a Mexican Meat Loaf in a celebrity softball game. I swear, Amador stopped to eat one of those spicy dried mango candies halfway through his swing. His power is huge, but I’m not sure he’d gonna be able to catch up to anything. Last year in the Mexican League, he hit 36 homers and he’s 27 years old. The Mexican League is supposedly comparable to Triple-A, only instead of buses for transportation, the teams pile into a Toyota Tercel. Right now, he looks pegged for Triple-A, but since the Astros have Robbie Grossman, Marc Krauss, Jesus Guzman and J.D. Martinez vying for everyday ABs, anything could happen. I’d take a flyer on Amador in AL-Only leagues, and wait and see in mixed leagues. Best case scenario, he gets the DH job and hits 25+ homers and .220. The worst case scenario, you draft Altuve and Amador accidentally sits on him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw recently in spring training for 2014 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
As spring training takes off, we, the wonderful people of Razzball, thought it would be a good idea to look into some intra-team rivalries. What positions are a lock? What positions are being fought over? What positions will they hire me to fill-in for (second base Blue Jays, I’m looking at you)? Find out as the second part of this series will focus on AL Central… (You can check out the NL East Spring Training Preview here.)Please, blog, may I have some more?
The McC went 1-for-2 last night with a run. Not really numbers deserving of the lede, but since I only get to do this once a week, I do what I want. And plus, I had already done my photoshop before the game ended. So there’s that. Truth be told, I really have nothing else to say about Andrew McCutchen. It is a very fine season. You know that. I know that. Sky… may not know that. He’s busy helping out all you folks that don’t have a Fantasy Baseball team in the running over at RazzFoot. That’s what I’m calling our Fantasy Football site. Because 20 years ago, I loved the Ninja Turtles. You know, the Foot Clan? RazzFoot? NINJA VANISH! Eh. Whatever. The McCutch is having a great year. He’s having a great Fantasy Baseball year. To hate him is to hate kittens. To love him is to not spell it McCutcheon. Start spreading the word. Here’s what else I noticed yesterday:Please, blog, may I have some more?
You know who’s happiest about Kolten Wong being called up? The Vatican. Finally, something non-Catholic related will show up in search results when you Google ‘Cardinal + Wong + 2nd base.’ Somewhere, Dan Brown is scribbling notes for a new thriller…the Catholic church took a page out of the playbook of the Native Americans, who having foreseen the Internet in a 1973 peyote-inspired dream, worked to make sure the practice of reselling tickets was known as scalping. So now you Google ‘Indians + scalping’ and the search results are just a way to get cheap seats in Progressive Field. Wong’s call-up crowds the Cardinals infield in the weirdest of ways. Wong can’t play shortstop. It says here. There. Where I just wrote here. He can’t play 3rd. Says there. Where I wrote it. Can’t play 1st. Says here. Next to where I wrote here. He plays 2nd, Carpenter goes to 3rd and Freese goes on ice. Sorta surprised by this because the Cardinals know that seriously reduces Freese’s trade value, but he was seriously reducing his trade value by playing. But, wait, why do we care? What can Wong do right? Here’s what Prospect Scott said just two days ago, “Wong has caught a heater at the right time, hitting .333/.429/.556 with 2 homers and 2 stolen bases through his last 10. Too bad Grey can’t catch a heater in his groin.” What? Why? On the year in the minors, Wong has a line of 10 HRs, 20 steals and a .303 average. That’s close to what I’d expect of him in the majors too. He has a great eye at the plate (60 Ks, 41 BBs) and nice speed. Maybe a handful of homers and steals in the last six weeks with a good average. In keepers, he’s a must have. In redrafts, I’d grab him in all leagues for upside. I’m excited. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Miguel Alfredo Gonzalez, the latest Cuban raftee, is set to sign with the Dodgers. Hey, I’m no Quicken magician, but with the money the Dodgers spent on Yasiel Puig and Gonzalez, couldn’t they just have bought the island nation of Cuba and had all of their baseball players? Shoot, for an extra million in designer green camo fatigues, they could have Castro too. “I like the green camo fatigues that Heidi Klum wears in Munich. But no fur hood! If it has fur hood, you Marxist down the price.” That’s Castro consulting with his fashion police. Gonzalez’s repertoire consists of a mid-90′s fastball, changeup, curveball and forkball. Anyone that’s seen him believes he’s major-league ready now, but M.A.G.’s will probably be sent to the minors for at least a few weeks, so it’s doubtful he makes any real impact this year for fantasy. Maybe we’ll see him start two, three or six times in September, depending on how bad the Dodgers need a starter. If nothing else, this signing will give Puig someone to commiserate with on why there’s so much Gulden’s on Cuban sandwiches made here. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I have no idea of how to tie in one of the most famous AHnold soundboard choices, but like last weeks selection of ANIMAL!, I really don’t need a reason. I have established this, and it feels good to make said establishment. I also have no idea what we’re are still doing here, playing in these deep leagues. Sometimes I panic that I won’t have anything to write about, and then I remember, there’s always money in the banana stand. No, wait, that doesn’t make any sense. Ah, yes. We’ll always have Humberto Quintero to talk about. The fantasy catching equivalent of seppuku. And guess what? I haven’t even typed a player blurb on Tom Gorzelanny yet, so exciting times indeed! God, shoot me now.Please, blog, may I have some more?
If Chris Archer was aiming to win last night he was right on target, pitching seven innings against the fearsome Orioles lineup, allowing just 2 hits, 1 ER, 2 BB and striking out two to grab his first win of the year. Bulls-eye! Archer even retired 13 of the last 14 batters he faced. Let’s just say opposing hitters could hear Kenny Loggins’ music playing with Archer on the hill because they were riding into the DANGER ZONE, LANA! Relax those monster hands, you don’t have to be Krieger to know Archer misfired in his season debut, surrendering five runs to the Indians and lasting just four innings. But he looked Sterling last night. Chris threw just 84 pitches in the outing, hurling his 95-mph fastball with ease and locating the pitch with perfection. Even Burt Reynolds was impressed. Pitching coach Jim Hickey told Archer he needed to see more of that change up, and both the change up and the slider were on full display last night. He was able to throw both pitches on any count with excellent confidence and control and kept the O’s hitter off balance all game. Although, his next start at Fenway this week is not ideal, he should be streamer-worthy going forward given the right match ups. Until David Price returns from his triceps injury, Chris Archer looks to see a few more starts and is worth a flier in AL-Only and deeper mixed leagues. Also, danger zone!
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball last night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Our correspondent in St. Louis, Dan Pants, is reporting at 8:05 Eastern Standard Time, Ian Kennedy‘s fastball died. There’s still no official confirmation. Details are scant. Daniel Descalso is in questioning about the murder. Let’s go back now, and take a moment and recount the life of Ian Kennedy’s fastball. It originally came up in the Yankee organization, where it showed promise, but one two many times it was left out over the plate and hitters clobbered it. They didn’t quite murder it like last night. No, that was saved for a balmy night in St. Louis. Our thoughts and prayers are with the Kennedy family. Wait, now I understand they are transporting Daniel Descalso to another police station for questioning. Let’s go there now. Descalso, “I don’t know anything about the situation here. I am just a patsy. Ian Kennedy’s fastball’s died weeks ago in Cuba chasing Fidel Castro. I’d like legal representation.” Wait, is that Kubel… Descalso is down! Kubey’s in cuffs. Mayhem ensues. Hopefully, Ian Kennedy can find some peace on the Disgraceful List, where he’s surely headed. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Curtis Granderson left last night’s game in the fifth inning after being hit by a pitch on the hand and fracturing his knuckle. The Yankees expect Grandy to miss at least four weeks so obviously this is a big blow to fantasy owners who just got him back a little over a week ago. Some luck, if you remember correctly it was a HBP in the forearm that sent him to the DL back in March. Someone has to invest in some new armor for Granderson, I recommended Barry Bonds’ metal-plated sleeve, but chainmail is always nice as well. Anyway, these are the breaks. Curtis Blow said that, and Curtis Granderson is living it. He was batting .269 through eight games but already had a home run, a stolen base and a couple of three hit games so the outlook was promising. Thems the breaks, right Curtis!? In the interim, I guess we can expect Ichiro or Vernon Wells to continue to see plenty of playing time, and Brennan Boesch should see plenty of burn as well, but I don’t see much value with Boesch outside AL-Only. Don’t be too sad, Yankee fans, you were doing just fine without him. Maybe Curtis Mayfield said it even better, “you’re gonna make your fortune by and by, but if you lose don’t ask no questions why.” Superfly! In other words, I’m sure there’s a deal-with-it gif on the googles or the tumblrs out there for you to look at (here, here and here), but the three Curtis’ have already moved on so hopefully you can, too.
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball last night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Josh Rutledge did not play for the third time since last Friday because Walt Weiss is crummy with crackers, then thinking he was a real Weiss guy, Rutledge was sent down to Triple-A. This is the same Rutledge that went into yesterday’s game hitting .259 with a homer, 3 runs and 3 RBIs in the last week. He’d be leading the entire Marlins team with those numbers! On our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater, he was above Starlin Castro, Alcides, Alexei, Rollins, Asdrubal for the year… Seriously. He was doing better than all but 8 shortstops. Yes, I’m on the River Denial and my boat is called, “Dubya Tee Eff?!” and I’m stopping at the Sphinx to riddle him with, “What are the Rockies doing?” Are you seriously going with DJ LeMahieu because he had hits the last two days?! Why not just go with David Guetta? At least he’s had hits I’ve heard of! The problem seems to be that the Rockies are holding Rutledge’s fielding against him. Luckily, Weiss wasn’t managing the Yankees in 1996 or Jeter would’ve been sent down for Luis Sojo. I know, The Art of Fielding, I know Dan Fielding, I do not know of sending Rutledge down for fielding. Stop the madness and bring back Rutledge! I’ll admit when I’m wrong with drafting guys, but Rutledge was not a mistake. It’s stupid teams, playing for stupid things that don’t matter in 5×5 roto. STUPID! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?