You know how when you turn on the lights in my bedroom, the cockroaches scatter? Well, maybe you didn’t know. Okay, say Hodgepadres are the cockroaches and the lights are from any stadium but Petco. You following the analogy? Good, let’s add another layer.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It was a big day for one of my favorite mancrushes, Brandon Allen, as he was called up. In Triple-A this year, 18 homers, 7 steals and a .426 OBP. He’s cut from the same cloth as all the donkeys that have come before him.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last night, Buster Posey was carried off the field after Scott Cousins plowed him over. This was the worst bang-bang play a catcher took in San Francisco since– Okay, you almost drew me into that one, but I’m not going there.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Victor Martinez left the game after fouling the ball off his foot. Wanna know our trade luck? We just traded Jason Bay, Cervelli and Mike Gonzalez for V-Mart, Boesch and Desmond. Is this karma for punting catchers in so many leagues over the years?Please, blog, may I have some more?
In an unprecedented move, I’m making Aramis Ramirez a Buy after labeling him a schmohawk in the preseason. Crazy, right? Get me a constituency and a mistress, I’m a flip-flopping politician? I’ll run on the “No more new tuxes” campaign. Then when people elect me and say they thought it was a typo or a weird lisp, I’ll tell them, “No, I’m just not buying a new tuxedo.” I don’t want to talk up Aramis too much because I don’t think he’s a surefire stud.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brett Cecil appeared in the April 23rd version of the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell. I liked his strikeout stuff and thought he was up to the task. He secretly confided in me it was a lot of pressure on him. He never had a mustachioed man ask anything of him, at least not one that wasn’t wearing a raincoat and no pants.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sometimes when a player gets hurt, I feel bad if I told you to buy into them. I’m like, “Shove your emotions into your cankles, you sissy!” Alas, my inner Native American watching someone litter in a 70′s commercial comes out.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Taking his name from the Telemundo reruns of Kojak, Ubaldo Jimenez currently has a 3.86 ERA, a 3.33 FIP (Fielding Independent Pitching) and a 3.71 Away ERA. Chuck in a 7.63 K/9 and a schedule right after the break of either away games or easy matchups.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Much like a newly married female, the Blue Jays have dropped BJ from the active roster. Imagine this scenario. You walk into your fro-yo distribution job, say what’s up to your TCBY manager who’s twelve years younger than you, open up the jimmies container and proceed to flip them, one at a time, at your manager’s head.Please, blog, may I have some more?