Carlos Correa is a star. A heavenly body. Out of this world. I know what you must be thinking. No, I don’t have an unhealthy obsession with him. It just says so right on his uniform. According to the internet (so it must be true), the term astro is defined as a prefix that means “star,” “celestial body,” or “outer space.” The city of Houston decided to make a noun out of this prefix and call their team the Astros in order to have a team full of “stars.” Egomaniacs! In Correa’s case though, this term would seem to be appropriate. At 17 years old, he was the #1 overall pick in the 2012 MLB Draft. Last season, just three years after being drafted out of high school, he made his MLB debut. In his ninth MLB game, Correa became the second youngest player in the last century to steal three bases in a single game (trailing Rickey Henderson by 21 days). He set a franchise record by hitting 12 homers in his first 46 games. He had more homers (13) through his first 50 games than any other shortstop in MLB history. Power, speed, plate discipline, solid defense. Correa looked like the total package. His 22 homers, 14 steals, and .279/.345/.512 slash line in his first 99 games had fantasy owners dreaming of a .300/30/30 encore. The A-Rod comps started to get circulated around various fantasy circles. Correa quickly became a consensus first round pick in 2016 fantasy drafts. Just 21 years old, and all of the skills in the world. Upside through the roof. So what’s the problem?

A player’s second season is usually one filled with adjustments, especially for one as young and inexperienced as Correa. In his first two games against the Yankees this year, he came out of the gates smokin’ hot (5/9 with 3 homers and 2 steals for a 2.111 OPS). In his next 60 games (April 7th – June 14th) however, Correa managed just a .240/.338/.371 triple slash with 5 homers and 6 steals. Ouch. That’s Brad Miller kind of production. He’s rebounded nicely over his last seven games though (.360/.484/.800). Is Correa’s recent surge a sign of things to come or a good sell-high opportunity for his owners?

Let’s take a look at Correa’s profile to determine what type of production can be expected from him during the remainder of the 2016 season:

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Just Damn.  Just Doh.  Just Don’t-tell-me-he’s-out-for-the-year.  Just Depression.  Just Difficulty-feeling-happiness.  Just Dis-stress-is-stressing-me-out.  Just D-negative-words-in-the-thesaurus.  Just Dissolvent.  Just Did-you-say-dissolvent?  Just Don’t-stop-hugging-me-with-your-eyes-Ted-I-can’t-be-alone-right-now.  A fractured elbow for J.D. Martinez.  It happened when he ran into a wall.  Apparently, the wall doesn’t own him.  I hate you, wall!  “If he dies, he dies.”  Oh my God, the wall is imitating Ivan Drago!  I knew it!  The wall is a Russian super-villain.  Martinez will head for a CT scan.  I don’t know how long he’ll be out with a fractured elbow, but it sounds like it will be a while.  Let’s join in the shape of a parallelogram and pray.   Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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You wanna know frustration?  Of course, you do.  You play fantasy baseball!  We’ve chosen a hobby that is the least relaxing hobby possible.  May as well have a hobby of picking cheese off mousetraps.  If the mousetrap doesn’t smash your finger, you win.  What do you win?  A virtual trophy!  Oh, and bragging rights.  Awesome!  Okay, wanna really know frustration?  Wait to see how Dusty uses Trea Turner upon his call-up.  This is gonna be so fun!  Will Lloyd’s of London insure the ulcers of all Trea Turner owners?  Yesterday, he was called up to replace Ryan Zimmerman, who went on paternity leave.  So, unless Zimmerman’s wife takes as long as he does to get hot, I’m assuming Zimmerman will be back in three days tops.  At that point, Turner will stay with the club and play, stay and get benched or get demoted again.  If he stays with the club, do you think Dusty is going to play him over Espinosa?  Well, he could.  I guess.  “So, how do you play this mousetrap game again?”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Does anyone remember the sitcom That ’70s Show? It was a harmless enough little show, despite the fact that it unleashed Ashton Kutcher upon the world and led to several high profile movie roles for lead actor Topher Grace (why?). Perhaps most notably, it also introduced the public to a young actress named Mila Kunis, who portrayed a character named Jackie Burkhart. Jackie was young, cute, and full of potential, but man was she annoying. Her whiny, shrilly voice was like nails on a chalkboard. It was enough to make you want to hit the mute button or just change the channel entirely. Until recently, this week’s most added player, Boston Red Sox outfielder Jackie Bradley Jr. (84.2% owned; +54.5% over the past week), was just like the early version of that Jackie. A young player with solid upside who possessed a few annoying tendencies. Sure he could take a walk, but what good is that in fantasy (outside of OBP leagues) if there’s no stolen base or counting stats resulting from it? Think of the fantasy ramifications, dammit! Fortunately, JBJ has been more aggressive at the plate this season (48.3% Swing% – up from 43.7% in 2015), and it has paid dividends for him. His K% is down to a career low 21.1%, and his .962 OPS (14th in MLB) and .257 ISO (18th in MLB) are currently among the league leaders. Over the last two weeks, he’s produced a .423/.444/.769 slash line with 5 homers and 17 RBI. This version of JBJ is like That ’70s Jackie muted and wearing a coconut bikini (sorta NSFW). Expect the RBI pace to drop off a bit (30 RBI – 7th most in MLB), but he looks like a viable OF3 for the immediate future.

Here are a couple of other interesting adds/drops in fantasy baseball over the past week:

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Jon Gray pitched seven innings Friday night versus the Mets, allowing just five hits, two runs, a walk and struck out eight in his first win, in well, in ever. Congrats on your first major league win, chief! It only took you nine months! How about that headline? That was a bad Fifty Shades joke. If you don’t like it I will tie you up and make you like it. Mmm. Bondage. Anyway, Jon Gray–Coors pitchers be damned! After surrendering 11 runs through his first two starts, Gray has been damned good in his past three starts, giving up just four runs and 10 hits in 20.0 innings, and his 1.15 WHIP and 36/7 K/BB are certainly impressing me mucho. I know what you’re thinking, still a Coors pitcher pitches at Coors and even in the most stream worthy of starts it makes him very hard for me hard to recommend. But that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be on your radar, folks. You should be watching him closer than the latest episode of Game of Thrones, looking for secret hidden fantasy clues in the sand. You guys, I’m pretty sure the scarring on Jon Snuh’s chest spells out R+L=J! Oh em god, wait! The “J” must stand for, dot, dot, dot…Jon Gray! But Jon Gray knows nothing. He must be Targaryen!

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

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Owning Max Scherzer last night was like watching the Showtime classic, Emmanuelle, the erotic thriller starring Emmanuel Lewis as Webster Schlong and Alex Karras as George Papadopepuss.  Through 6 IP, Scherzer had 13 Ks and was only 77 pitches.  On the Tigers broadcast, Jimmy Leyland said, “(Scherzer) looks spent.”  Who’s a better judge of that than his ex-manager?  If only the Nationals had Jose Valverde to come in.  But then Scherzer went out in the 7th and had a 1-2-3 inning with two Ks and it was if Shannon Tweed had appeared next to Emmanuel Lewis and this erotic thriller became more elaborate, convoluted and spectacular!  Then Scherzer came out in the 8th and struck out three more guys to put his total at 18 Ks.  Then, came the ninth.  Now, no guy has a shorter hook than Emmanuel Lewis, but no manager has a longer hook than Dusty.  Scherzer could’ve been on pitch 175 and he would’ve been out there to finish it, and finish the Tigers he did.  Final line:  9 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 20 Ks.  He is still giving up homers though…. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Hi there! I’m the new Saturday Draft Kings guy, and I’ll be helping you make millions BILLIONS of dollars on DraftKings. Anyway enough about me, let’s get in to this. It’s lefty ace day! We have Kershaw, Price, and Sale (and Kuechel, if you consider him an ace… I mean he did win a Cy Young) all pitching today. That’s why I’m here to talk to you about the soft throwing and soft looking righty, Bartolo Colon. What’s in that belly and how is he still pitching effectively in the MLB? My guess is there’s a lot of cheese cake, pizza, and pastrami. Tonight Big Bart gets to pitch against the Padres. If it weren’t for Atlanta, the Padres would be the worst team against RHP. His last outing vs Atlanta he threw 8 scoreless with 7 Hits, 7 K, and 0 BB. That outing added up to 31.8 DraftKings points. The thing about the Padres is that they strike out and don’t walk. Big Bart has struck out 28 and only walked 3. The big man doesn’t cut corners…he paints them with his 2-seamer. Early on this season, he’s painting corners and generating the most swings and misses that he has since 2004. This seems like a solid match up for the 42 year old, but like that belly, it may explode at any time. Rostering him is only going to run you $7,300. This will save you some money to spend on one of those lefty ace’s or some big bats. All right Razzballers, I give you the rest of my picks:

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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Preseason I was telling anyone that would listen to draft Nick Markakis. I had him ranked as the 35th best outfielder in standard points leagues. While 37 is well outside the top ten, or even twenty, in twelve team leagues that start three outfielders he becomes a borderline starter. Most leagues will start four outfielders, moving Markakis squarely into a starting role. For those trying to figure out how I came to that conclusion, here’s the math. Twelve teams times four outfielders equals 48 outfielders, and the last I checked, 35 was less than 48. Even in ten team leagues with four OF spots Markakis lands a starting gig.

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The “five tool” player (having the abilities to hit for average and power, base-running skills/speed, throwing, and fielding) is one who possesses an incredibly rare set of skills. Branch Rickey, who first coined the term in his book The American Diamond, could only name two true “five tool” players at the time – Willie Mays and Mickey Mantle. Essentially, it’s a term that refers to elite, well-rounded athletes who can do anything and everything on the baseball field. Which players would qualify as true five toolers in today’s game? Three names immediately come to mind – Bryce Harper, Mike Trout, and Manny Machado. Elite skills and production across the board. Andrew McCutchen is a strong candidate based on his track record, though his speed appears to be in decline. Jose Altuve, Mookie Betts, and Starling Marte might have a shortcoming or two, but they’re in the mix as well.

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El Grande Dolor. The Cuban Barry Bonds. Oso or Yogi. All of these are phrases and nicknames that have been used to describe Chicago White Sox slugger Jose Abreu in recent years. I’m not really sure where those last couple of ones came from, but they’re listed under his profile at baseball-reference, so we’ll roll with it. Side note: can those profiles be edited by the public á la Wikipedia? Perhaps I could just go in and change his nickname to, say, Boo-Boo. Would that make listening to Hawk Harrelson tolerable if he started using random meaningless terms to describe the Sox players? Hmm… probably not. But I digress. Abreu has looked anything but a Cuban version of Barry Bonds or Frank Thomas in the early going. Maybe more like the current version of Thomas, but that’s not exactly what was expected of him coming into this season. We’re almost a month into the 2016 campaign, and Abreu’s been outhomered by the likes of Aledmys Diaz and Scooter Gennett. He obviously brings no speed to the table, and his batting average currently resides under the Mendoza line. In other words, he’s been pretty awful thus far. What’s going on here? Why has Abreu been so terrible this season?

Let’s dig into Abreu’s profile to see if we can figure out what’s causing these early struggles. Here are a few observations:

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