Justin Morneau hit two homers yesterday. Yay! He’s not only back but he just called from the year twenty-fourteen and said he’s going to hit 30 more homers this year. Because he’s a big, fat liar. He lies with his home runs and his fictitious calls from the future. There’s a stat I just made up called POOP (Players Out Of Power), where you take the fly balls a player hits and the injuries to their noggin, neck and back and you divide it by pi and Morneau gets a -7 on the POOP scale. He can’t even do well with a made-up stat I created to make him look bad. Well, I guess that makes sense. And now you’re making me look stupid?! I hate you, Morneau. Take your dopey, fragile (hey, it’s Italian!) body and go back to Canada. They’ll treat you for free there! These two home runs yesterday are your last chance to sell Morneau. Aim someone’s eyes away from the pathetic Twins offense, the Hubert H.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Joe Nathan reclaimed his closer job this year but was missing something, consistently putting his team behind the 8-ball, so the Twins shifted to CAPPS. On March 25th, I said this about the Matt Capps and Taipei Slinko shituation, “Here’s what I see happening. Nathan gets torched and Capps saves a few games while Nathan works things out. Then Nathan returns, gets torched again and, finally, the Twins send him to the Disgraceful List.” And that’s me quoting me! Right now, we’re at the point where Nathan’s off to work things out. I don’t think this ends well for Nathan. Someone in the Twins organization should’ve stepped forward and said, “Hey, Taipei, you’re a gamer in the non-nerd way, we appreciate that. No one likes nerds — the candy or otherwise. But, listen to me, you’re rushing yourself back. Chillax! Go get a Jamba Juice, enjoy some me time and let’s take it slow with your recovery.” But, well, that didn’t happen. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Brian Duensing – 7 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks. He’s a Duensing machine! Would I pick him up in certain deep leagues? Yes, but I don’t trust him.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Manny Ramirez was involved in a trade. The drug trade! Many people move to Florida to retire. Manny just decided to do them in a slightly different order. Manny said of the sudden retirement, “I’m at ease. I’m now an officially retired baseball player. I’ll be going away on a trip to Spain with my old man.” First, he tests positive for estrogen, now he’s going to Spain with what sounds like a sugar daddy. Manny’s a kept man! The Rays suddenly have room for Desmond Jennings… Or Matt Joyce… Or Sam Fuld. We grabbed Desmond Jennings in one league where we had room for a flyer. Here’s some of what Grey said about Jennings in the preseason, “DJ is currently on the ones and twos for top ranked MLB prospects. He’s never had an OBP lower than .360 at any stop in the minor leagues, so I don’t think the bottom is going to fall out on that in 2011. If he’s getting on base, he’ll be stealing bases and scoring runs, whether he’s slotted leadoff or ninth. Is he much more than SAGNOF? Yes and no. He can be more than SAGNOF for 2011, but, worst comes to worst (or wurst comes to wurst, if you’re German), he’s going to steal bases. There’s the possibility of him getting 5-8 homers and he has the power for 12. If he reaches the top end of his ceiling, you’re looking at Carl Crawford. More likely, you’re going to open up this Crackerjack and get half a Carl Crawford. Say a Carlford. You ain’t got the Craw yet, kid!” And that’s us quoting Grey! In the short term, if the Rays go with Joyce, he has decent pop, but his average will be po’. Or poor if you’re a completist. Or poo, if you’re a middlist. Sam Fuld, who sounds like a cartoon character, can steal 25 bases this year with little power. Sounds okay, until you break that down to one steal a week and little else. Anyway, here’s what else we saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Jered Weaver - 7 2/3 IP with 1 ER, 8 base runners, and 15 Ks. That’s a Weaver family record! Even more impressive is that he did this with Bobby Wilson as the catcher – if Jeff Mathis was the catcher, it would’ve been a no-hitter with 25 Ks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Even if you draft one or two outfielders in the top 100 (which you should), you’ll still need to identify some late bargains. The top 20, 40, 60 and 80 outfielders for 2011 fantasy baseball can be found under the 2011 fantasy baseball rankings. This is by no means all the outfielders I’d draft for one of my teams. This is a list of guys that will go after the top 200 and could provide some healthy returns. Where applicable, click on the player’s name to read more about them and to see their 2011 projections. Anyway, here’s some outfielders to target for 2011 fantasy baseball:
Julio Borbon – I don’t want to toot my own horn — well, actually I do, but can’t reach — but last year this outfielder to target post had Bruce, Rasmus, Corey Hart, Jason Heyward, Austin Jackson and Julio Borbon. Okay, Borbon was a year too early. Fair enough, fair enough. What makes Borbon enticing is his potential for 5 to 7 homers and 20 to 30 steals. The parade rain is his potential to sit on the bench and watch David Murphy play. One injury to the Rangers outfield — that could never happen with Hamilton and Cruz!Please, blog, may I have some more?
With more outfielders than random hairs growing from my grandfather’s ear, we take it to the top 60 outfielders for 2011 fantasy baseball. These guys may seem like they’re not worth the effort, but remember last year Colby Rasmus, Drew Stubbs and Corey Hart were found here. As with the other 2011 fantasy baseball rankings, where tiers start and stop are mentioned and my projections. Anyway, here’s the top 60 outfielders for 2011 fantasy baseball:
41.Please, blog, may I have some more?
With the top 40 outfielders, we’ve finished all the hitter recaps. We meaning me, but I’ll include you. No, that’s not a cue to try to hold my hand. (Here’s all the final 2010 fantasy baseball rankings. They’re also to your left… your other left. And down.) The pitching recap will begin next. To recap, the end of the season rankings are based on ESPN’s Player Rater. I felt the easiest way to keep it objective would to go this course. This way when I say someone finished 30th and I ranked them 23rd in the preseason it carries more weight. Does this mean I think ESPN’s Player Rater is perfect? No. It’s just an objective third party to see how well my preseason rankings did. Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
21.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Andres Torres went 2-for-4 with the delicious slam & legs. My man has slams and legses for days! This is his 2nd homer and 2nd steal since he’s returned from his appendectomy. Somehow he’s a Latin 32, but he played this season like an Asian 52, which isn’t an official Razzball glossary term, but comes from my belief that all Asians look much younger until they hit 53-years-old then they look much older than they are. For instance, you see an Asian man who’s 52-years-old and you’re like, “Wow, you look like you’re about 32-years-old.” Then you see an Asian man who is 53-years-old and you’re like, “Wow, you look like you’re 97-years old.” Pat Morita is a great example of this phenomenon. At the age of 43, he played Arnold on Happy Days and looked young for his age. At the age of 54, he played Mr.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kyle Drabek, the Blue Jays top pitching prospect, was called up to start on Wednesday vs. the O’s. Kyle Drabek is 24th on the top 50 prospects for fantasy baseball. He has top of the rotation stuff and a good pedigree with his dad being the former Cy Young winner, Doug. Or Guod if you’re dyslexic. Or “Hey, look a bird,” if you have ADHD. Well… Kyle Drabek had top of the rotation stuff. Now he looks closer to a number 2 or 3. His strikeout rate went from 10+ K/9 in A to 7+ in Double-A. Word on the street is his velocity is down. He’s obviously too young to write off. Velocity could return with the gaudy Ks. In keepers, I’d grab him in AL-Only, obviously. In mixed league keepers, it needs to be deep for him to have any real value. For this year, I’d be very cautious about starting him anywhere. In his first two starts, he gets the M’s and O’s, or the Mo’s. Not bad matchups, but starting rookie pitchers in the final weeks of the season is asking for trouble. You just have no idea what he’s going to do in his cup of coffee, he may or may not get creamed. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Adam Lind – 1-for-2 with 22nd homer. I’m sorry, I will like him again next year. I’ll love him if he can train with the guy who trained Zobrist in the winter of 2009 and Bautista last winter.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Let’s go over the Danny Espinosa positives first, shall we? A) In Triple-A, he had 18 homers and 20 steals. B) At MI, you need another positive after A? C) B was already forced and you want a C? D) Hmm… You need another positive, huh? Umm… How about D.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Thought I’d take a look at a random fellow RCL manager’s draft and in-season moves to see if we could learn anything that may help us improve our own management skills. First, a look at DRAFT DAY. These are the SIX player positions (of the TOP TEN picks) that are still left on his team from draft day:
1 Infielder (Weren’t we supposed to target more than one on draft day?)
1 OF (Round 9; got to have at least one from Pujols, Braun, Kemp, Holliday, don’t we?)
2 SP (Isn’t pitching much more fragile than hitting?)
2 RP (SAGNOF; wow, Round 6 and Round 8; wouldn’t they have been better off with another infielder and outfielder?)
Is it possible that this team is dead last, given that they only have TWO POSITION PLAYERS left from their top ten picks on draft day? Maybe I should have picked another team, but let’s try to glean something.Please, blog, may I have some more?