Fantasy Baseball Advice

With the top 40 outfielders, we’ve finished all the recaps for hitters.  (Here’s all the final 2009 fantasy baseball rankings.  They’re also to your left… your other left.  And down.)  Pitching recap will begin next.  (NOTE:  The end of the season rankings are based on ESPN’s Player Rater.  I felt the easiest way to keep it objective would to go this course.  This way when I say someone finished 30th and I ranked them 23rd in the preseason it carries more weight.  Does this mean I think ESPN’s Player Rater is perfect?  No.  It’s just an objective third party to see how well my preseason rankings did.)  Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2009 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

21. Carlos Lee – How did he only get 65 Runs?  He played in a 160 games.  He batted .300.  He hit 26 homers.  He hit 4th the entire year.  Oh, wait, I know.  Geoff Blum hit 5th for the Astros in 171 at-bats.  Preseason Rank #3, 2009 Projections:  100/33/110/.300/7, Final Numbers:  65/26/102/.300/5

22. Andre Ethier – Maybe it’s because of the pitcher’s park or the pitcher’s division, but I never fully get behind Dodgers hitters.  Lukewarm on Russell Martin, Loney, Hudson, Furcal, Blake, Ethier and Manny.  Kemp I’m crazy for, but I think you have to be crazy to not be crazy for him.  Preseason Rank #46, 2009 Projections:  80/17/75/.290/5, Final Numbers:  92/31/106/.272/6

23. Michael Cuddyer – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen.  Final Numbers:  93/32/94/.276/6

24. Nick Markakis - Here we see the problem with relying on 25 homer power.  In an off year, they hit 18 homers and you wanna strangle someone.  Markakis had two months where he hit one homer (June and September) and one month of 2 homers (April).  His speed continues to decline.  He now has back-to-back seasons of 5 homers vs. lefties.  Markakis isn’t done in my eyes (he’s only going to be 26 in 2010), but I really would like to see 30 homers before going caca-cuckoo for him.  Preseason Rank #3, 2009 Projections:  95/25/100/.310/10, Final Numbers:  94/18/101/.293/6

25. Nelson Cruz – His season was actually much better than this ranking and that will be reflected in January when I go over 2010 rankings.  I say it’s much better because Runs and RBIs are a symptom of the guys around him.  The homers and steals can’t be taught, and he has them.  He could easily be a top 15 outfielder with better Runs and RBIs.  Preseason Rank #49, 2009 Projections:  75/25/90/.270/10, Final Numbers:  75/33/76/.260/20

26. Rajai Davis – After the All-Star Break, he stole 30 bases and hit .325.  DNA samples taken in the 2nd half of the season showed there was a 99.8% chance that Rajai was Carl Crawford.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  65/3/48/.305/41

27. Jason Kubel – In February, I alluded to how he was better value than Jermaine Dye.  And that’s me alluding to me!  Preseason Rank #61, 2009 Projections:  80/20/80/.280, Final Numbers:  73/28/103/.300/1

28. Raul Ibanez – My call on him being a 2nd half hitter looked about as good as Lady Gaga’s clothing choices.  Preseason Rank #28, 2009 Projections:  85/25/110/.290/3, Final Numbers:  93/34/93/.272/4

29. Scott Podsednik – Sometime in May, Ozzie called him into his office.  This is what transpired.  “I want vintage Podsednik!”  “I don’t know if I have it in me, Skip.”  “Skip?!  What is that?  Punta talk?  Now go uncork a 2004 Podsednik!”  And he did.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  75/7/48/.304/30

30. Adam Dunn – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen.  Preseason Rank #23, 2009 Projections:  80/40/85/.245/5, Final Numbers:  81/38/105/.267

31. Hunter Pence – The same thing that hampered Carlos Lee also got Pence.  It’s called the lack of an Astros offense.  With a little help in Runs and RBIs, Pence would’ve been ranked much higher.  Preseason Rank #35, 2009 Projections:  85/28/95/.275/10, Final Numbers:  76/25/72/.282/14

32. Curtis Granderson - There was a whole lot of math done recently on Granderson’s year.  Long story short, he should’ve hit in the .270s rather than the .240s.  As is my wont, I usually ignore average anyway when a guy brings something else to the table.  Grandy brings 30/20.  That’s a whole lotta something else.  I feel like I may be owning Grandy next year on a few teams.  Preseason Rank #19, 2009 Projections:  115/22/75/.275/17, Final Numbers:  91/30/71/.249/20

33. Franklin Gutierrez – Back in February, I said, “I’m a fan of The Big FraGu.  Decent shot at being a cheap source of 15/15.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Preseason Rank #63, 2009 Projections:  70/12/75/.260/16, Final Numbers:  85/18/70/.283/16

34. B.J. Upton – You know what would be nice?  Beej living up to(n) his potential.    Upton’s in the same category as Grandy.  Come February, I’ll be ignoring his bad average.  Preseason Rank #9, 2009 Projections:  95/20/80/.280/35, Final Numbers:  79/11/55/.241/42

35. Marlon Byrd – I suggested in the preseason that you grab Byrd and David Murphy and platoon them.  Turns out you would’ve done fine just owning them both and playing them.  Preseason Rank #68, 2009 Projections:  100/20/100/.285/10, Final Numbers:  66/20/89/.283/8

36. Nate McLouth – McLousy turned in an old school Mike Cameron season.  20/20 — yay!  .256 — eh.  Preseason Rank #18, 2009 Projections:  95/22/90/.270/22, Final Numbers:  86/20/70/.256/19

37. Andrew McCutchen – The Dread Pirate didn’t get his first at-bat of the season until June.  Go ahead, reread that sentence.  Now smize!  (The Tyra Banks definition, not the other one.)  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  74/12/54/.286/22

38. Brad Hawpe – Hawpe’s 2nd half was about as good as my ability to read Sumerian.  Apparently, the guy with the arrow on the ancient tablet means Hawpe shouldn’t be facing lefties.  Preseason Rank #34, 2009 Projections:  70/30/95/.280, Final Numbers:  82/23/86/.285/1

39. Juan Rivera – There should be a glossary term for these Juan Rivera types.  These players are available off of waivers in just about every 12 team league.  They don’t wow you with their numbers.  They don’t hurt your team.  They’re just there in your 5th outfielder slot.  Jason Kubel would be another one.  Each year, one steps up and does more than what is asked of them.  In 2008, it was Xavier Nady, this year it was Michael Cuddyer.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  72/25/88/.287

40. Chris Coghlan – Went over him in the top 20 3rd basemen post, Final Numbers:  84/9/47/.321/8

Evan Longoria went 0-for-4 yesterday.  He’s been kinda terrible for about three months now.  Man, third base is a minefield.  Now I’m not putting Longoria in the Wright Sucks Then Gets Conked On The Head box.  No, he hasn’t been nearly that bad.  But two separate months of an under .240 average and two months of zero steals and tw0 months of 1 steal and this sentence has nearly as many ands as, “In the saying, “Fish-and-Chips,” it’s necessary to have a hyphen between “fish” and “and,” and “and” and “chips.”  I’m not ready to proclaim where Longoria should be drafted next year.  I’m Grey and I make proclamations! But Longoria isn’t exactly setting the world afire with flames shooting out of his areolas.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Scott Kazmir – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks.  Sonavabench!  I can’t stand Rays pitchers this year.  They’re sucking the life out of me.  One day it’s Shields pitching terribly in my lineup, then it’s him pitching well on my bench. Then Kazmir follows suit.  I might need to take a sabbatical next year from the Rays pitchers.

J.P. Howell – 1 IP, 1 ER. This is the 2nd game in a row Thurston and Lovey’s son has blown.

Oliver Perez – Out for the season with surgery to his knee.  In September, I’m fully expecting the Mets to play their home games in candy stripper outfits.

Brad Penny – Wanted out of Boston and he got it.  He cited irreconcilable differences.  Sox just said he sucked.

Chad Qualls – Placed on waivers, but it’ll take a John Holmes-sized package to get him from the Diamondbacks.  If he’s shown the door, I’d expect Rauch to get the saves.  Oh, and he blew a save last night.  Yay.

Justin Upton – Back from his oblique strain.  Oh, and he went 1-for-3.  Non-sarcastic yay.

Jonathan Sanchez – 7 IP, 3 ER, 9 Ks.  Has been solid since his no-hitter.  Somewhere, Buehrle realizes he should’ve renegotiated his deal with the devil.

Brian Wilson – Medders got the save yesterday (quite easily actually), but I think it was just because Medders was warming up to enter a losing game, then one of The Flying Molina Brothers put the Giants into a save situation with 2 outs in the 8th.

David Ortiz – 2 HRs yesterday.  Has 22 homers on the year while batting .227.  Who are you, Dave Kingman?

Josh Johnson – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 Ks vs. the Mets.  Is it only me or do you, loyal Razzball reader, also expect a shutout from your pitcher when they face the Mets and are upset when all you get is a s0lid start?

Roy Oswalt – 6 IP, 3 ER.  Was outpitched by Pineiro.  What’s worse, I’m not surprised.  I wanna say to Oswalt, “You gonna let this punk get away with that?  What’s the matter with you?  What’s the world comin’ to?”

Eric Young Jr. – 2-for-4, but caught stealing again.  On the bright side, he’s at least attempting steals.  I’m farting in your general direction, Alcides Escobar.

Andre Ethier – 3-for-4, 2 HRs.  Mentioned so I don’t get hate mail from Andre Ethier’s Mom.

Jack Cust – HR yesterday.  Member two days ago how I said when he gets hot, he gets scorching?  He’s now batting near .600 for the last week.

Jose Lopez – HR yesterday.  Has 4 homers in the last week.  Cool, but I dropped him back in May and don’t regret it.

Trevor Hoffman – Placed on waivers.  These things usually don’t go through.  Keep that in mind.  But I’d expect Coffey to grab Brewers saves in September if The Hoff’s off.

Nick Johnson – Heads to the DL.  If you set your watch by Johnson’s DL trips, you were probably pretty tardy this year as it took him much longer than usual to hit the infirmary.

Brad Lidge – Before yesterday’s game, Manuel said Lidge will remain the Phillies closer.  So, of course, Madson came on for the save.  And blew it.  Give Scott Eyre the ball!  I keed.  Lidge had worked a few days in a row, so I think Lidge is still the guy… To blow saves.

Cole Hamels – 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks.  I watched a good chunk of this game.  The Pirates had a lot of opportunities to score.  Love to sit here (and I am sitting) and tell you Hamels is gonna be just fine going forward, but I’d be lying.  He might be, but this game shouldn’t be used as an indication either way.

Matt LaPorta – 2-for-4 and a HR yesterday.  He now has at least one hit in every game since his recall.  Now Eric Wedge must think harder about ways to bench him.

Andy Pettitte – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 Ks.  I don’t think I’ve owned a Yankee pitcher in five years.  Too many headaches with the division and now the ballpark.  Pettitte’s one of those I wouldn’t have owned (though used to when he was on the Astros).  But through it all, Pettitte has pitched well this year.  Nothing incredible (4.18 ERA, 1.40 WHIP, around 7 K/9), but solid.

Alfonso Soriano – May need knee surgery.  No word if he’ll have it sooner than later.  My guess is later, but if he does it sooner, then suddenly we have a some playing time for Jake Fox.  Yes, Soriano’s fallen far when I’m hoping for knee surgery and I own him in a league.

Milton Bradley – HR yesterday.  Before the game, he talked about how much he hates Chicago, “I’m talking about hatred, period. I’m talking about when I go to eat at a restaurant. I’ve got to listen to the waiters badmouthing me at another table, sitting in a restaurant.”  Milton needs to stop eating at Dick’s Last Resort.

Chris Davis was sent to the minors last night to make room for Josh Hamilton.  In the preseason, Bill James’s projections for Chris Davis were 107/40/118/.302/8.  I thought that was a tad optimistic.  And “tad optimistic” there is like saying, “Hey, this Ben Affleck movie might be okay.”  Those predictions and the proceeding hype sent Davis’s ADP through the roof.  To the point where I decided to punt 3rd base in all of my drafts and take Mark Reynolds.  I went over why in this preseason post.  Now I’m not saying I wasn’t at fault either.  Back in December, I said Davis was a sleeper when he was going after Zimmerman, Huff and Atkins.  When the hype picked up, I backed off.  Though I did give Davis pretty generous preseason numbers too at 75/30/95/.275/3.  But I have a fantasy baseball blog; I’m not Bill James.  I think someone should ping Bill James (the kids say ping, ask one what it means) and say, “Hey, Bill, big fan.  Lots of great stuff through the years.  Sorry to ping you this late, but a few quick rhetorical questions.  Chris Davis?  Seriously?  Did you not follow the ruler across the paper correctly on Pujols’s name?”  In the Better News Dept., David Murphy should get more time now that Davis is gone as Blalock moves to first.  Though I’m not sure how long Blalock can stay healthy playing that demanding of a position.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Psyche! Before we get into today’s roundup, I just wanted to say we have an announcement coming later in the 2nd post of the day.  Around 11:30 AM PST.  Make sure to check back later.  Some of you might enjoy it.  While others may say, “Meh.”  Okay, now for the roundup:

Scott Hairston – Traded to the A’s.  Not sure there could be more of a lateral movement for Hairston’s value.  Unless you’re in an NL-Only league and you lose his services to the best available option off waivers.  Then again, maybe that’s lateral too. The Padres got Craig Italiano — I hear he makes a great chicken parm — and Ryan Webb, no relation to Brandon.  If you’re not following, the Padres traded away their number three hitter for the stuff you find under your couch.

Will Venable – Will see more ABs with Hairston out of town.  This could actually hurt Venable’s value.

Kyle Blanks – Rudy Gamble’s brother from the same mother could also see more time.  Be nice to see The Pillsbury Fro Boy do something other than strikeout.  As far as his fantasy value, we already filled in the *pinkie to mouth* Blanks.

Scott Downs – Should be back any day now.  As always, I’d hold Frasor for the time being until Downs has shown he’s healthy.

Chien-Ming Wang - Something’s Wang.  Hehe.  Hit the DL.  Peace out, Wang.  Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

Ben Sheets – May not pitch this year.  No way!  C’mon!  Are you serious?  Crazy!

Dan Haren – 6 IP, 1 ER.  A good game and the Diamondbacks gave him runnage?  Wow.  Talk about a good day.  And I didn’t have any hodgepadres ruining my ERA yesterday.  Nice.

Joba Chamberlain – 3 2/3 IP, 3 ER and 8 unearned as he tied his owners to a WHIPing Post.  “Joba Rules” this year are a bunch of walks, unreliable from start to start no matter the matchup and unfulfilled promise.  Maybe that’s why he drinks and not, “Owen, you stupid poop!”

Ricky Nolasco – 8 IP, 0 ER, 12 Ks.  When I gave you the advice in mid-May to Buy Nolasco, I sure hope some of youse listened.

Derrek Lee – Another homer yesterday.  How dare you call me Lyle Overbay? But you kinda are just a rich man’s Lyle Overbay.  I’ll call you Thurston Overbay, the Third.

Jake Fox – HR yesterday.  Will be interesting to see how Sweet Lou flips the craft services table when Aramis returns today.

Randy Johnson – Left the game with a shoulder injury.  I foresee an abbreviated spring training comeback in 2010 and then he retires.

Rich Aurilla – HR yesterday.  I really thought he was retired.  I’m not even joking.  I’m not sure which is more despicable.  That Aurilla is holding the Giants hostage by not retiring or that the Giants don’t just release him.

Miguel Olivo – Hit his 13th homer.  Matt Wieters hit a homer too.  Natch!  Or is it reverse natch since I’m the one always cracking on his output?  Hmm… I got lost in my own natchs.

Grady Sizemore – 2 homers and one steal since his return as he bats .270.  Eh.

Cliff Lee – 6 IP, 3 ER.  Has a 3.45 ERA on the year.  That seems more in line with Lee than what we saw last year.

Gio Gonzalez – 6 IP, 2 ER. Doesn’t he sound like a haute couture jeans designer?  I wouldn’t bother with Gio Gonzalez in an 18-team league that only uses Oakland A’s players.

Adam Lind/Aaron Hill – Hit their 18th and 20th homers, respectively.  Lind bats .310 while Hill bats .299.  Still don’t see either as a sell high candidate, but that shizz is relative.  If you get the right deal, by all means.

Colby Rasmus – Hit his 10th homer as he bats .282.  Little late to the party now if you pick him up, but you could be doing a lot worst for your fourth or fifth outfielder.  I’m looking at you, Fred Lewis.

Chris Carpenter – 7 IP, 1 ER.  This is not to say Carp isn’t solid, but right now the Reds look like they’re facing the House Committee on Un-American Activities every time out.

Ross Ohlendorf – 5 IP, 5 ER.  Dorf!

Garrett Jones – Two Pirates mentioned in the same roundup.  Arghh, it’s raining doubloons!  Jones hit two homers in his last four games.  I don’t know where this schmohawk is headed, but right now he’s on one of my teams.  He may not last, but better to take the flier if you have room than to let someone else grab the hot rookie.  Remember, I gave you the same advice for The Dread Pirate about a month ago.  I’m still rocking him on one team. (He stole his 6th base yesterday as he bats .300).

Brandon Morrow – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 Ks.  Finally, six innings!  I picked him up in a 12 team league last week, but haven’t start him yet.  I’ll start him now.

Martin Prado – 4-for-4 as he starts every day.  If you owned Kelly Johnson, then I’m sure the Cox yanking was suprisingly unpleasant, but Prado can ease your pain.

Derek Lowe – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER.  Right now, he’s alternating between decent start and terrible.  Luckily, he gets the Rockies in Colorado next time out, so that’s an easy call to sit him.  Hopefully he’s back to a reliable starter after the ASB.

Jimmy Rollins – HR yesterday and is 7 for his last 15.  If he hits .400 over the next month, you’ll be glad you remained patient.

Joe Blanton – 7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 Ks.  He gets Pittsburgh next.  All aboard!

Nick Blackburn – 9 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks.  With a name only one letter off from a porn star with chlamydia, it’s easy to stay away, right?  I look at it this way.  There’s so many pitchers each week that are potential spot starters, even in deep leagues, that I just don’t want any part of a guy that has 51 Ks in just over 116 innings.

Casey McGehee – 3-for-4 yesterday.  On Saturday, he went 4-for-5 with a homer.  Okay, this is the last I’m mentioning him.  Fo realz.

Vladimir Guerrero – Two days, two homers.  Was he prematurely shipped off to the glue factory?  I don’t think so.  I’d still be looking to sell him.  Now you might actually find someone who believes he still has some giddy-up left.  In related news, Brian Roberts still has twice as many homers as Vlad the ‘97 Impala.

Howie Kendrick – Recalled and stole a base yesterday.  Here’s what I said two weeks before Kendrick was sent down to the minors, “What do the Angels do with a 2nd baseman who has 18 homers in 179 ABs in Triple-A?  Promote him and demote Howie Kendrick?  Or do the Angels promote Rodriguez, demote Kendrick, wait two weeks until Kendrick starts hitting in the Coors-like PCL and then promote Kendrick right back and demote Rodriguez again like they’ve been doing with Brandon Wood for the last three years?”  And that’s me blowing your mind!  Let me answer 15 comments right off the bat — Beckham, McGehee, Prado, Everth then Kendrick, in that order.

Andre Ethier – HR yesterday.  See, preggers Manny doesn’t even need to be in the lineup for Ethier to start hitting.  I’m half-joking.  This year Ethier’s been better in the power department than I thought he’d be, but I don’t buy that he’s suddenly going to be the .400 hitter we saw in the 2nd half last year just because Manny’s back.

Mark Reynolds – HR yesterday.  What else is new?  If any of you are fifteen-years-old, don’t vote for him for the All-Star Game.  We want him to be mad in the 2nd half.  Adrian slept with Clubber mad.  Eye of the Tiger!  Oh, and if you’re fifteen, don’t listen to your parents.  You won’t need geometry.  Though you may need to know how to say, “I don’t know how a dead prostitute got in my bed,” in Spanish.

James Lipton recently sat down with Stephen Strasburg and when he asked him what he thought of becoming a Nat, Stephen Strasburg said a’la Brando in On the Waterfront, “Actaaaaaa!!!”  Stephen Strasburg is THE BEST PITCHER EVER.  (Caps were provided by Scott Boras.)  The hype and superlatives of Strasburg have been spewed across the interwebs, so allow me to give you some perspective.  The last seven number one draft picks were Delmon Young, Matt Bush, Justin Upton, Luke Hochevar, David Price, Tim Beckham and Strasburg.  One guy in those seven is currently helping you.  One guy could help you.  One guy grabbed $3.15 million and opened a shaved ice stand in Acapulco.  In 1996, Kris Benson was presumably the best pitcher to ever toe the rubber coming out of college with a 204/27 K/BB ratio.  In 1999, Alfredo Amezaga was drafted one pick before Albert Pujols.  I think Strasburg will help your fantasy baseball team at some point.  I don’t think he’s helping you this year.  In deep keeper leagues, I’d grab Strasburg now.  He’ll be a Nat sooner versus later, but that’s only because the Nats number one pitcher is John Lannan.  In one year leagues, wait until he’s called up.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brad Lidge – Headed to the DL.  Man, who else strikes out more than a batter an inning, yet looks so vunerable to a meltdown?  I mean, this doode literally will strikeout the side around two home runs.  I don’t think this will necessarily be a lost season for Lidge.  He should come back in July and be ‘just okay.’  Hopefully, for Lidge owners, he gets the closing job back.  I think he will.  Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t own Madson.

Aaron Poreda – Called up by the White Sox.  In Double A, he struckout more than a batter per inning, but he also walked 32 guys in 58 1/3 innings.  Open the Victrola, blow the dust off the scratched record and listen to the B-side of, “Rookie Pitcher/Risky Pitcher.”  In AL-Only leagues, I’d grab him and expect nothing.  In mixed leagues, I’d prefer about 40 other pitchers.

Jordan Zimmermann – Scratched from start with a slightly sore elbow.  So instead of the Reds, he gets the Rays.  Bummer, mann.

David Wright – HR yesterday.  Wait, what? Home run by Wright. Come again? Home. Run. Wright.  Ah, yes.

Metco – 7 HRs were hit today in Bankrupt Bank Field b/w the Phillies and Mets.  While that would be fathomable with Moyer vs. Livan, this was Happ vs. Santana.  Even odder, no HRs were hit at Yankee Stadium.  (It helped that Josh Beckett pitched and that the game was in Fenway.)

J.A. Happ – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER.  Well, the honeymoon’s over and now he heads home to face the Red Sox and the O’s, then he gets the Blue Jays in Toronto.  You gotta know when to hold ‘em… Know when to fold ‘em.  I’m folding.  (Actually sometime between screaming “Screw you” and “Hochevar,” I gave up on rookie pitchers for a few months, so I don’t own Happ anywhere.  But if I did…)

Nate McLouth – Has been batting leadoff for the Braves.  Against righties it makes sense and I could see Cox going to this lineup  more often than not.  It’ll affect McLouth’s ribbies.

Rafael Soriano – Got his fifth save as Mike Gonzalez worked a lefty-heavy eighth.

Johnny Cueto – 7 IP, 1 ER.  James Shields, 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER. The answer is… Cueto and Shields.  Who are pitchers that Grey has on multiple teams, Alex?

Ben Zobrist – Hit his 12th homer.  You can’t stop him, you can only hope he doesn’t have his corked bat taken from him.

Elijah Dukes – HR yesterday.  He’s so gangsta!

Pablo Sandoval – 4-for-5, HR and 3 RBIs. 22/5/27/.318 on the season.  I have him on one team where I’m in first.  Did I have him all year?  Yup.  He’s a catcher and I ignore them.  Trust me, catchers don’t matter.  Put someone there and let them be.  In February, I put his projections at 60/14/65/.300 and that’s about where he’ll be in September.

Matt Cain – 6 1/3 IP, 4 ER. Obviously not a great start, but as I said in the preseason, he could easily get the run support this year that Lincecum got last year.  Cain’s leading the NL in wins with 8.  He’s still a sell though if anyone’s looking at the sub-3 ERA and thinking he’s been that good.  He hasn’t.

Stephen Drew – HR yesterday.  Batting .393 in June.  I hope everyone held tight on Drew, still a lot of season left.

Mark Reynolds – Hit his 15th homer and is batting .269 on the year.  I have him on every team.  Mini-donkey!

Willie Bloomquist – Citing precedence from the 1700s, Bloomquist ruled in favor of the Royals v. Indians as he went went 3-for-3 with 2 steals.  Then the decision was overturned in the 7th in favor of the Indians.  Rightfully so.

J.P. Howell – Pitched the ninth of a one run game… where the Rays were losing.  Maddon’s obviously using a committee.  Anyone could get the next save.

Carlos Gonzalez – 2-for-4 with 2 doubles and a steal.  I feel like I should make this a whole post, and maybe I will.  But if you pick up a guy, you hold him for at least a week unless your team situation gets drastically different.  I only say this because someone dropped CarGo in one of my leagues yesterday and I thought it was odd that they grabbed him the day he was called up only to drop him less than a week later.

Jason Hammel – 6 IP, 2 ER and the win.  I picked him up in a deep league for this week’s starts.  Brewers he beat, he gets the Mariners next.  Then I cash out my chips and dump him.

Mat Gamel – HR yesterday.  Interleague’s coming up.  Cust kayin’.

Jose Arredondo – Sent to the minors to figure his shizz out.  From “He’s gotta be the closer” to “He could be the closer on the Nats” in just over two months.

Matt Kemp – Undoubtedly the best 8th hitter right now in the NL.  How does a .310 hitter with 7 HRs and 13 SBs end up hitting 8th behind Russ “0 HR’ Martin and Rafael O-Furcal?  Maybe if Matt dated a nice Italian girl like Alyssa Milano, Joe Torre would hit him higher up in the lineup.

Scott Baker – The Mentalist followed up a 7 IP / 2 ER / 7 H+BB/ 10 K game against the Indians with 8 IP / 3 ER / 5 H+BB / 8 Ks against the A’s.  Doubt he’ll make it through the year without some time on the DL but it might be worth offering up an expendable closer or outfielder in the spare chance he can maintain this Verlander-like month worth of starts (if he keeps getting Indians and A’s matchups, it’ll only help…)

Adam Lind – Hit a homer as a thank you for writing a post about him yesterday.  You’re welcome, Adam.  Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars…

Brian Tallet – 7 IP, 0 ER.  He has too many walks in 74 innings.  It’s Tallet, not talent.

Andre Ethier – 2 HRs.  This came after Manny went into the clubhouse yesterday and let Ethier feel his stomach.  It kicked!

John Baker – Pujols hit him with his backstroke.  Hmm… what were they doing in a pool?  Nevertheless, Baker’s day-to-day.

Nolan Reimold – Another homer.  Yes, he’s better than the schmohawk behind door number 3.

Brad Bergesen – 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 Ks vs. the Mariners.  The Mariners lineup looks like an anorexic model with a pumpkin head.

Josh Johnson – 7 IP, 3 ER.  For those who missed the game, Johnson didn’t give up any runs.  The outfield defense for the Marlins is terrible.  Can they please trade Hermida?  He goes back on a ball like he’s wearing cement boots.

David Ortiz – HR yesterday.  Now that he has eyedrops to moisten his eyes, supposedly he doesn’t need to blink as much and can hit home runs. *cough* placebo *cough*  Big Papi’s lack of blinks will probably cost him the lead in the Broadway rendition of The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.

Francisco Liriano went four innings and gave up seven runs against a team that absolutely kills lefties in Fenway.  Let’s run down his 3-year averages for the months of the season, starting with April: 6.93, 1.99, 1.51, 2.31, 1.13 and 4.36.  You think he might need some time to get going?  His April combined ERA for the last 3 years, not including this year, is almost 7.  His combined May through August ERAs are under 2. Are you kidding me? Heffin’ hey, trade for him! This might be the best buy you find right now.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Kurt Suzuki – First HR of the season yesterday.  He hit one HR through the middle of June last year.  What is everyone doing at Yankee Stadium?  Is it the Macarena?  The Electric Slide?  No, it’s The Jetstream!

Justin Verlander – 5 IP, 7 ER.  It’ll get better, but it’s not going to get much better to make him a buy candidate.

Joe Saunders – 5 IP, 5 ER.  Take out the Liquid Paper; more corrections to come.

Andre Ethier – Hit his 5th HR yesterday.  Frankly, sometimes I’m wrong. (17% of the time!)  I had my doubts about whether he would produce this year, but he’s doing it.

Hunter Pence – 4th homer, 3rd steal in yesterday’s game.  Marching towards 25/15 and top 30 outfielder status.

Francisco Cordero – 6th save, 1.29 ERA. Member he was a mess in spring training?  Uh-huh.

Kevin Gregg – 1 IP, 1 ER, 6.43 ERA.  Member he was a mess in– Oh, wait.

Johnny Cueto – 7 IP, 0 ER. 2.55 ERA on the season.  In the preseason, I said I was higher on Cueto this year than Volquez.  I wasn’t joking.

Milton Bradley – 0-for-4, 3 Ks.  Batting .043 so far this season when he shows up healthy and it’s not raining.  Cubs fans were booing him yesterday like he was Bartman and a goat’s love child.

Willy Taveras – 0-for-2, batting .268.  Wait, he’s no longer batting .400?  Ah, dim the lights in Ted Williams’s freezer for one more year.

David Purcey – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER. Still burping.

Omar Vizquel/Ian Kinsler/Andruw Jones – Is there anyone not batting over .400 on the Rangers?  Oh, Salty B. Davis.

Jair Jurrjens – 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER.  1.42 ERA on the year.  I really like Jar-Jar this year.  I don’t think his ERA stays anywhere near where it is, obviously.  But he can keep it around 3.75 with some Ks.

Adam Dunn – 0-for-4. Oh, well. .300’s in the rear view.

Scott Baker – 4 2/3 IP, 6 ER.  Someone’s having a bit of a problem with the long ball.  If you had to ask me if he’s going to rebound in May like CC last year, or if he’s going to become completely unusable like Gorzelanny.  I’d take Gorz and June as the under.  I think Baker’s headed for the Disgraceful List. You don’t give up 7 home runs in 8 and two-thirds and just suddenly say, “Hey, you know what?  I just realized I was supposed to be throwing the ball harder.  And in better locations.”

Brian Bannister – Maybe he just likes pitching in April.  Pumpkin’s ETA is one week.

Josh Fields – HR, 3-for-5, batting in the 2 hole.  If this sticks, and, with Ozzie, anything’s possible, this could boost Fields’s value a lot.

Carlos Villanueva – Back as the setup man.  Only he was setting up Todd Coffey.  The Baron, frequent commenter/guest poster, pegged Coffey as an out of nowhere closer that gets 30 saves this year as Hoffman continues to get injured.  Not as crazy as it sounds.

Chris Young – 7 IP, 6 baserunners, 0 ER.  I like him; you know that.  But it sure don’t hurt when there’s only one guy in the opposing starting lineup hitting .300.

John Danks – 7 IP, 1 ER.  I feel like this guy isn’t getting the respect he deserves.  So far I’ve mentioned him in two of three Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sells as a Buy.  I put him as a starter to target in the preseason.  What do I have to do?  Help me, help you.

John Maine – 5.2 IP, 5 ER.  Outdueled by Joel Pineiro.  I just vomited onto my wall and it reads, “Punt.”

B.J. Ryan – 1 IP, 3 ER. Downs wasn’t much better making this a save situation in the first place by giving up a run.

Rafael Soriano – Got the save yesterday.  It was a tied game and Cox brought in his lefty closer into a tight game to face a tough lefty.  Don’t need to read too much into it.  Soriano’s 2nd in line, we knew that already though.

LaTroy Hawkins – Joey Valgreen’s decomposing right before our ojos – bad back, ankle, and calf.    We have no faith whatsoever in Hawkins but if he asked us to the SAGNOF dance, we’d accept the offer.  If you’ve got Valverde, go buy yourself some LaTroy Handcuffs…

Jay Bruce – Another HR.  This time I had him in my lineup.  Bruuuuuce!

Jeremy Guthrie – 6 IP, 5 ER.  Gotta know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em.  His team gives him no chances for wins, he faces the top offenses in baseball all the time, he doesn’t strikeout that many guys and he’s only a 4 ERA pitcher to begin with.   You win, world of Guthrie haters.  Are you happy?

Melky Cabrera – 2 HRs yesterday.  4 HRs in 23 ABs this year.  Everybody, come on!  We’re doing The Jetstream! (What? Trying too hard?)