Brandon Morrow lost the no-hitter but pitched as well as any pitcher this year. 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 2 Walks and 17 Ks. Though not everyone was impressed. When reached for comment after the game, Adam Lind said, “If you gave me 27 outs, I could strike out 17 times.” Did Morrow go near-no-no vs.Please, blog, may I have some more?
J.P. Arencibia was called up by the Buckless Jays. In Triple-A, Arencibia hit 31 homers in 379 ABs. That’s-a one spicy prospect! To go all Latin America on you, there’s a caveat. That was in the PCL, which is like playing on the moon with an aluminum bat. He’s not quite the prospect of Wieters, Posey or Carlos Santana, pre-Kalish yelling at him, “Eat everything off your plate!” I’d pick up Arencibia if you just lost Santana or if you’re just hurting at catcher, in general. Conservatively, I’d give him 6 homers and a terrible average. But he’s capable of more and that’s why you grab him. When we’re dealing with such short sample sizes as the final two months, it’s worth the flyer to see if he surprises with an extended hot streak. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Carlos Zambrano – Will return to the Cubs rotation on Monday vs.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Matt Capps got traded and kept his job, Rauch didn’t get traded and lost his job, Octavio Dotel got traded and lost his job, Brian Wilson didn’t get traded but is moping because his shoes are no longer shiny. It’s the bullpens, ya’ll. Just yesterday Lindstrom was out with a sore back that he hurt when he tried to get the A’s replacement closer in his fantasy league. That’s a true story in opposite world. On the top of the rankings, Wagner made himself a $12 Salad. On the bottom of the rankings, I wanted to move Chris Perez into the Donkeycorns, but he needs more time in the role first. He’ll be a Donkeycorn by September. Mark my words! But don’t mark them on your computer, that doesn’t come off. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Andre Ethier had a June line of 9/3/12/.195… In 2008. June gloom? Perhaps. In 2009, he had a May as atrocious. So he can come out of this funk. In the last three years, Ethier has hit 30 points better in the 2nd half.Please, blog, may I have some more?
For the first time in over two years, Jonathan Papelbon is no longer a $12 Salad. I know, call your Congressman. Pass Prop 12. There’s been signs for a long time that he wasn’t the same closer from 2007. I didn’t want to move him because he seemed like the epitome of a $12 Salad. Overpriced lettuce?Please, blog, may I have some more?
.288/.378/.535 in A and AA. Pedro Almodovar! Wait, rechecking my notes. Pedro Alvarez! Last year, Robot Jones and The Dread Pirate Triple Lindy’d into the Pirates mucky-muck with a certain panache (Pretentious Word of the Day!). Next up, is The Smashbuckler, the Pirates future 3rd baseman. Argh, into the bilgewater you go, LaRoche! You landlubber! Finally, Robot Jones and The Dread Pirate have a decent teammatey. Okay, I’m shutting off my English to Pirate translator. Alvarez took some time in 2009 to get going again after a broken hamate bone slowed him in 2008. By the 2nd half of the year, Alvarez was hitting for average and power in Double-A. (A September Scouting the Unknown further broke down Pedro Alvarez minor league stats.) He’s done more of the same in Triple-A this year. See no reason why he can’t continue the same trajectory in the majors, assuming he hasn’t had any lengthy conversations with Alex Gordon. Moderate power, less than moderate speed and decent average. After his call-up, let’s say a line of Runs/15/RBIs/.270/3 in 350 ABs. In keepers, pursue aggressively. In redraft leagues, depends on your current corner infidel situation. Though I will say that if he hits out of the gate, his value will go sky high and then you can trade him for a piece more valuable than him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brandon Phillips – Walt Jocketty said Phillips’s hammy won’t require a DL stint. Phillips said, “I’d kinda like to hear what a doctor has to say.”
Alfredo Simon – Was activated from the DL. Juan Schmoil said he’ll ease Simon back into the closer role so if you have room, I would wait until Simon earns a save before cutting Hernandez. Though ‘fredo can handle things! He’s smart!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hello, new readers who found us from Googling the title! You probably weren’t expecting a fantasy baseball site. Don’t let that stop you. We’re an equal opportunity offender. And if the title didn’t interest you, how about Giants to add Bum to ‘Cum topped staff? Hello, our newest readers that didn’t find us due to the title, but did find us due to that last sentence! You probably will be offended. But say the title was, “Giants ‘Cum Led Staff Points To Bum Insertion.” Now if you found us due to that hypothetical title. Well, ahoy there! Don’t even get me started on Filthy Sanchez. All right, a detailed Madison Bumgarner outlook can be found where it says, “Madison Bumgarner outlook.” Bumgarner is risky, but in the NL West and with his stuff, worth a look in deep mixed and NL-Only leagues. In keepers, pursue him aggressively. So far this year, he has a 47:20 K:BB ratio and a 3.13 ERA in 69 innings. I’d definitely take a flyer (is it flier?) in certain mixed leagues where I needed the upside. Still, there’s a bunch of arms I’d want over him. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Brett Cecil – Besides having a name of a 70′s British pinup, Brett Cecil has a 0.99 WHIP and decent Ks. Sure, the matchups are terrible, but there’s no reason why he shouldn’t be owned in every league. For what it’s Wuertz, Cecil has appeared in three Buy columns dating back to April. Watch out, deaf ears, something’s falling!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dan Haren got the win yesterday, but his line was 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 11 baserunners and 5 Ks. Did he see his shadow in Spring Training and now think spring w0n’t start until August? Someone inform this young brother it’s the pre-All-Star Break. Ergo, therefore, vise a vie, he’s supposed to be pitching well now. He only has about a month before he turns into summer squash. Right? Well, what if he pitches well in the 2nd half this year? I know, it’s crazy talk from a guy that pees into milk bottles. So far this year, he has his best K-rate of his career. He has the 8th best K-rate in the major leagues. He also has the 2nd best K/BB in all of baseball. Just behind Roy Halladay. At his current rate, Haren would have his worst ERA since his first half year. That shizz doesn’t add up. Striking out people, not walking people and a terrible ERA? I know the 2nd half Boogie Monster scares Haren pretty good, but I think he might be able to fight the 2nd half terrors this year if his luck just evens out a little bit. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Dana Eveland – 5 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 0 Ks. Has a K:BB ratio of 21:29, which looks like a Roland Emmerich film. Both are terrible, by the way.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Brain Freezes lived up to their names last month. With Jenks, Hoffman, Gregg, Dotel, Lidge, Funklin Morales, Qualls, Perez, Wood and Simon all putting dry ice on your fantasy baseball team and then shattering it. No one ever said owning Brain Freezes would be easy, but does it have to be this hard? Can’t I just Ron Popeil my Jenkses and Hoffmen and let them be? No, of course, I can’t. It would be too easy. I come from the school that if a guy has a chance to earn even one save, I’ll own them. Sometimes this yields 6 saves from Alfredo Simon, other times this yields 12 earned runs in a third of an inning from Will Ohman.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Victor Martinez left the game after fouling the ball off his foot. Wanna know our trade luck? We just traded Jason Bay, Cervelli and Mike Gonzalez for V-Mart, Boesch and Desmond. Is this karma for punting catchers in so many leagues over the years? I hate you, fantasy baseball Gods. You smite my team while I give you love. I. Give. You. Love! Oh, bee tee dubya, V-Mart’s day-to-day. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Mike Cameron – Returning on Tuesday. Didn’t I already talk about this schomhawk? Oh, yeah, I did. (The “I did” link we lead you to the answer. If you ignore the answer, skip 7 pages ahead and slay the dragon.)
Adrian Beltre – 3-for-4, 1 RBI. If you would’ve popped your head out of a DeLorean in the preseason and told me at the end of May Adrian Beltre would be hitting .335, I would’ve told you he’s headed for fantasy MVP honors. Crazy how far his power has disappeared.Please, blog, may I have some more?