Slow clap for all the folks who drafted Jean Segura last year and his 44 steals. Now a slower, even more appreciative clap for Grey, who tagged him as a fantasy sleeper heading into 2013. The following list is not meant to find you the 2014 version of Jean Segura, but rather identify the middle infielders who are the essence of SAGNOF (Steals Ain’t Got NO Face). These players will be cheap at the draft or may go undrafted entirely. You probably won’t want any of them as your starting shortstop or second baseman, but you’ll want to stash them away in the dark corners of your mind for when you are desperate for steals and there is a vacancy in your middle infidel slot. How cheaply you can acquire these players has a lot to do with the depth of your league and since not all fantasy leagues are created equal (thank God), you’ll have to take that into consideration when weighing the value of their steals. And hey, you never know, maybe the next Jean Segura is in here somewhere…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Michael Wacha was within an out of a no-hitter yesterday when Zimmerman hit a bouncer to shortstop, which he barely beat out. Ryan Zimmerman doesn’t want the world to see joy. He’s a joy killer. Every time some 14-year-old writes jk jk jk. They’re not abbreviating ‘just kidding,’ they’re really talking about Ryan Zimmerman joy killing. For a moment, I was on board with The Joy Killer because I don’t need Wacha getting hyped up anymore than necessary for next year. You hear Wacha I’m talking about? You like Wacha I’m working with? Wacha you say to that? Okay, I want to stop replacing what with Wacha, but I can’t. Wacha can I do?! There is gonna be an insane amount of young pitchers next year that I’ll be eyeing, and Wacha is yet another one. In 64 2/3 IP this year, he had a 9+ K/9, 2.61 xFIP and a 2.64 BB/9. Yes, please, come again. I could see this 22-year-old giving you a Shelby Miller-type season next year, maybe even, dare I say it, Matt Harvey. That’s Wacha I’m talking about! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
This is not a drill. Eric Young Jr. should actually see steady starts in right field with Michael Cuddyer hitting the disabled list. After Helton went down we were teased by the occasional EY2 start. I may or may not have seen Grey with a Cuddyer voodoo doll in his hand and next thing I know, EY2 is the Rockies leadoff hitter and starting right fielder. He and a few others who are on page one of the steals’ leaderboards may still be available in your league. Juan Pierre, Michael Saunders, and Kelly Johnson all graduated from this list with over 50% ownership now. Hopefully they are able to contribute to their new fantasy owners instead of doing what I did when I graduated, which was sitting in my parents’ basement eating pizza rolls and hoping that today would be “PLINKO” day on The Price Is Right.Please, blog, may I have some more?
There are always guys that you can grab for some extra speed if you need it, and this week we’ll look at a few more players who are not widely owned but who may be able to contribute some steals to your lineup. After batting .000 last week with my picks of Michael Saunders and Aaron Hicks, we’ll dig a little deeper in the waiver wire pile for some speed. Hicks can’t seem to hit the broad side of a barn, and Saunders, who was off to a great start, decided to play chicken with the right field wall and is now sidelined for about a month. Let’s take a look at this week’s speedsters and let’s hope for some better luck…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jhoulys Chacin was walking more yesterday than my grandfather on a treadmill behind a hot number (his words). Yo-leash’s line 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners (6 walks), 7 Ks. Am I worried that Chacin isn’t going to have a sub-3 ERA all year? Yeah, of course, I’m worried. What, am I delusional? Am I wearing wearing a pirate costume and dictating my blog posts to homeless people behind a Consumer Value Store? No, of course, I’m not. I’m behind a Walgreens. I do not wish to talk about Chacin’s eventual regression. Yes, I am not using contractions to show how serious I am. I own Yo-leash all over the place and…Ugh. We might be at his peak value. This is sorta like when I told you to sell Matt Joyce a week before he started washing his hands in the urinal and peeing in the sink. I don’t think Chacin will completely collapse but he’s more of a 3.50-3.75 ERA pitcher. Trust me, I wish he were going to be this good all year too. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Seth Smith – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs as The Lisper’s Nightmare hit his 7th and 8th home runs. He’s fine for a fifth outfielder in a deep league, but, man, owning him is the fantasy baseball equivalent to watching paint dry. Rub Wiggy’s head and get crazy hot for a week once in a while, would ya?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jair Jurrjens has a xFIP of 3.64 and a K-rate of 5.23. Sounds like you should brave the trade winds with Jar-Jar. Or maybe I should say, “Wash that Jurrjens right outta your Jair!” Okay, breathe, Grey, you got puns, I get it.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Anyone who’s read this site for a minute — an urbandictionary minute, which is actually a long time — knows I have love for Adam Lind. In an age when the home run is scarce — wow, that sounded like a Ken Burns voiceover — Lind has big time power. I’m a fan. Have the pin that reads, “Lind-a-want-stats!” Sorry, that’s a square pun in a round hole. Yesterday, he went 4-for-4, 2 homers in his 2nd game back from the DL. He can still get 30 homers and hits in the heart of a solid order. I wouldn’t be scared of him, he might just do his best not-this-season Dunn impression. BTW, Bautista hasn’t hit a homer in 7 games, what a loser! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Shin-Soo Choo – Says DUI is affecting play. Assuming he doesn’t have to drive relievers in from the bullpen, I say just start drinking before games again.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Our weekly Friday Fantasy Baseball Feature, Buy Low/Sell High is back after an offseason layoff. When asked what this fantasy baseball feature did during the offseason, it said this, “Went up to the Adirondacks for some bass fishing with my friend, Clete. Well, one thing led to another and we fell in love.” Alrighty then! To get everyone on the same page, I like the Buy guys. I dislike the Sell guys. Now if Thames is in the Buy section (which he is!) and Lackey is in the Sell section (there too!) that doesn’t mean I recommend you trade Lackey for Thames. Everything’s relative, Einstein. Anyway, here’s some guys to buy and sell for the 1st week of the fantasy baseball season (start the games already!):
Alexi Casilla – Can run, can hit and at MI it pays to find out how much.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Losing Gary Sheffield from your fantasy baseball team is about the best thing that could’ve happened to you if you owned him. This isn’t really a big fantasy story as far as Sheff goes. He was a decrepit ex-roider. (He was a great hitter to watch in his prime and it’s sad when great players devolve into nomadic, expensive NVORPS (negligible value over replacement players). For every neat and tidy retirement like Ripken and Gwynn, there seems to be at least three like this.) The best thing that could happen is he ends his career at 499 homers. Instant karma’s gonna get you. What this does do is open up a spot for someone else. As I said in the comments yesterday, “The Thames runs through it.” Damn, I’m pithy. I’m like Charles Nelson Reilly on The Match Game pithy. RIP, C N R, you were one of a kind… Until me. Marcus Thames is a source of 20 – 25 HRs and a .240 average. Not bad for AL-only but not remarcusable. He usually only plays against lefties, so I’m not sure if Sheff’s departure gives him that many more ABs. He’s a masher to watch. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in spring training for fantasy baseball:
Joey Devine – Now Aching Joey Devine is off to see Dr.Please, blog, may I have some more?