Matt Holliday sat out yesterday with a hand-thinga-ma-injury — a tendon or a ligament. Sounds like he’s going to miss the rest of the season, but for right now he’s only out for four (stutterer!) to five days. I’ll tell you what I’m not gonna miss…. Matt Holliday. A .295 average, 1 steal and 22 homers? You know what that is? A good season for Andre Ethier. It’s not a good season for Matt Holliday. Matt Holliday does more than that. At least in my mind. I’m not in your mind so that’s all I have to go on. On the bright side, this injury didn’t cost a moth their life.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tommy Hanson is having his next start pushed back. Well, it’s not official yet according to the Braves. But they read Razzball, so we’ll just say it’s official now. Even if Hanson’s next start isn’t pushed back, it should be. On Saturday he looked like Rocky Dennis trying on a fitted ball cap.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Top twenty catchers, 1st basemen and 2nd basemen are in the books as we throw it around the horn. Today, the top 20 Shortstops for 2010 fantasy baseball get to shine. Hmm… Actually, most of these won’t shine. They’re cloudy with a chance of crapballs. As I said in the beginning of the year, the shortstops are even shallower than the 2nd basemen. This held true. A good two weeks in the major leagues and you too can make the top twenty list for shortstops! Okay, enough of the hubbub on the tomfoolery. To recap, this final ranking is from ESPN Player Rater with my comments. The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason. Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2010 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Alberto Callaspo was traded to the Angels. Exactly what the Angels needed, a light hitting infielder. Oh, wait, no they don’t. Why’d they get Callaspo? To get Mel Gibson to be interested in the team? Oh, wait, that was Apocalypto. Anyone see that movie? I like the part where Mel’s like, “I will slap the taste out of your mouth, Pocohontas! So help me, I will rip your neck off! Even if I have to go through a number of metal rings.” Callaspo will help the Angels more than he’ll help fantasy teams. He is what he is. Light power, decent average, next-to-no speed. The Royals will go with Wilson Betemit at third base. Why are they not going with Mike Moustakas or Alex Gordon? Because for whatever reason the Royals are punishing them. If you can figure out the peasant Royals, you get a cookie. I actually like Betemit if he’s the everyday 3rd baseman. He has 4 homers and a .377 average in 61 ABs this year. As for “Of Maicer Men,” I think Callaspo is more Lennie than George. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
David DeJesus – Slammed into the outfield wall when DeJesus was turning a Jeter out into a homer. He’s listed as day-to-day, which is trade deadline code for “Please still trade us someone for DeJesus, he’s really, really healthy.” In reality, he’ll probably be out for a while. So, while Betemit might replace Callaspo, here’s a chance for Gordon to see some daylight. We’ll see now how much sense the Royals make.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Blue Kays and the Atlanta Braves switched shortstops, assuming Yunel Escobar and Alex Gonzalez make it through customs. No, sir, I don’t have an OBP to declare. This move is commonly called One Team’s Garbage Is Another Team’s ‘At Least We Don’t Have That Other Garbage Anymore’ trade. I’ve noticed team fans don’t really look to see what they’re getting as much as what they’re losing. If they lose a piece that’s done nothing, the fans are giggle-a-plenty. If they’re losing a fan favorite or a productive piece, they’re angry. We saw this play out with the M’s losing Silva for Bradley. People talk about addition by subtraction. I suppose, but I wouldn’t want either of these schmohawks. Alex Gonzalez is disguised as a .260 hitter with 17 homers during his career year. If he were to hit .220 with 8 homers the rest of the way, it wouldn’t shock me. The piece going to the Blue Kays is marginally better. At least his OBP is above .300.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It seems like every year around this time I make Mark Teixeira a prime breakout candidate. Why can’t he hit in April? Does he need mittens? His last three Aprils have produced a .245 average and 9 homers in 261 ABs. No other month is close to that bad.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Adam Jones is not on a great team. He’s not hitting well. Not to be blunt, but he doesn’t even look like he’s getting stoned anymore in his ESPN profile pic. SOS to Adam Jones, it’s past 4:20, cuz. Grab some Crunk Juice and be fire. Right now, his BABIP, line drive rate, home run rate and walk rate are all way off. Bundle some non-investment-grade triple-B bonds make it seem like a triple-A tranche and trade them for Adam Jones. I.e.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Carlos Zambrano moves to the bullpen. Whaaaa??? Oh. Wait, what? Somewhere, Dusty Baker just tipped his “Crazy Manager Move” hat to Sweet Lou. Dusty, “After Harang complained of arm soreness, I needed him for another 140 pitches the next day, so I fashioned a pitching arm out of rubber bands and a dead giraffe. Some saw that as crazy, but this Big Z move takes the cake.” Are the Cubs building a new and improved frankencloser, Carlos Zambarmol? Close game, two men on, starter’s tiring… You want Carlos Zambrano entering the game or leaving it? That’s not even rhetorical. That’s common sense, isn’t it? As Lou ever seen Zambrano pitch? This is the guy you want coming into pressure situations? Wow, what a move. I want to say there’s no way this move lasts, but Zambrano’s also not that valuable to wait it out. Lose him in fantasy like Sweet Lou lost his mind. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Alfonso Soriano – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and he hit his 2nd homer as he bats .327 on the year. He also has one more steal than Alcides Escobar. Not as glamorous as he used to be, but should get to a 25/10 year, assuming the knees he borrowed from The Mummy hold up.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Nyjer Morgan was back in the lineup to steal two bases in the first inning, then he left with a broken hand. Bunt, go feet first and get back in there! One of my ‘pert teams was pulling too far away in power, so last week I made a trade for steals and saves. Two categories I usually just play the waiver wire for, but in a 16 team league, it’s slim pickins. I traded Prince Fielder for Heath Bell and Nyjer Morgan. Stab me in my eye! Shove hot coals in my pants! Hot poker my heart! I still won’t miss Prince, but Nyjer’s broken hand… Well, I’d like to write on Nyjer’s cast, “Amputate,” as you should be doing with him on your teams. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Tim Hudson – He’ll be returning on Monday to face the Marlins. The good news, he gets a decent 2 start week next week. The bad news, he wasn’t exactly lights out in rehab. The moderate news, he’s worth a flier in 12 team leagues where you need an extra starter. Just don’t expect him to be anything more than 5 IP, 3 ER.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chad Billingsley was a fave on mine coming into the year, and he pitched great for maybe a third of a season, passable for a third and pretty forgettable for the other third. It’s with great regret I tell you to sell him for fifty cents on the dollar in one year leagues. He wasn’t pitching all that well for a while now and now he’s dealing with a hamstring injury. (This injury may actually save his arm from falling off.) In one year leagues, you need guys that are going to help you right now. It’s August, ya’ll — thanks, Mr.Please, blog, may I have some more?