Jered Weaver will not make his final start of the year because he doesn’t care about your H2H team. Weaver ends the season with a line of 18-8/2.41/1.01/198. If you throw out three bad starts, his ERA would’ve been 1.72 in 220 innings, but if if’s and but’s were candy and nuts no one would ever leave the bathroom.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Mark Trumbo is done for the year with a stress fracture in his foot. What an inauspicious end to his rookie season, if I’m using the word inauspicious correctly, or even spelling it right. Year line was 65/29/87/.254/9. Trumbo’s OBP was tizzerrible at .291, but his minor league rates suggest he can grow into someone that can take a walk here and there.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Asdrubal Cabrera strains his back, and, no “Asdrubal Strains Back” is not a sequel to a sci-fi porn movie. At this time of the year, any little thing can knock people for the remainder of the year. To help you picture what I’m saying, imagine this is April and we’re talking about Morneau.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Matt Holliday sat out yesterday with a hand-thinga-ma-injury — a tendon or a ligament. Sounds like he’s going to miss the rest of the season, but for right now he’s only out for four (stutterer!) to five days. I’ll tell you what I’m not gonna miss….Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tommy Hanson is having his next start pushed back. Well, it’s not official yet according to the Braves. But they read Razzball, so we’ll just say it’s official now. Even if Hanson’s next start isn’t pushed back, it should be. On Saturday he looked like Rocky Dennis trying on a fitted ball cap.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Alberto Callaspo was traded to the Angels. Exactly what the Angels needed, a light hitting infielder. Oh, wait, no they don’t. Why’d they get Callaspo? To get Mel Gibson to be interested in the team? Oh, wait, that was Apocalypto. Anyone see that movie?Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Blue Kays and the Atlanta Braves switched shortstops, assuming Yunel Escobar and Alex Gonzalez make it through customs. No, sir, I don’t have an OBP to declare. This move is commonly called One Team’s Garbage Is Another Team’s ‘At Least We Don’t Have That Other Garbage Anymore’ trade.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It seems like every year around this time I make Mark Teixeira a prime breakout candidate. Why can’t he hit in April? Does he need mittens? His last three Aprils have produced a .245 average and 9 homers in 261 ABs.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Adam Jones is not on a great team. He’s not hitting well. Not to be blunt, but he doesn’t even look like he’s getting stoned anymore in his ESPN profile pic. SOS to Adam Jones, it’s past 4:20, cuz. Grab some Crunk Juice and be fire.Please, blog, may I have some more?