Alex Avila

Grey

A Twelve Zack With A Dozen Buds

| Fantasy Baseball Notes | 472 Comments

by:

Bud Norris and Zack Greinke both struck out 12 hitters yesterday.  One in 6 innings and the latter in 7 innings, if latter means Greinke.  And when I saw their lines it occurred to me, that my Bud’s gonna be just like Greinke, when he grows up, my Bud’s gonna be just like Greinke.  You see my Bud’s WHIP’s a hassle and his homers have the flew.  But one day Bud will be just like you.  One day he’ll be just like you.  And Greinke would say, “Why is he singing Cat’s in the Cradle to me?  I’m not his father, I’m barely two years older than him?”  Yeah, you’ll see, Greinke.  You can’t even see the irony now, but one day, my Bud’s gonna be just like you.  You all will see.  For now, he’s not him.  Nope, nuh-uh, nada, not there, nope again.  His walks are still too out of control, but his K-rate is over nine and his xFIP is 12 team mixed league respectable.  He’s about as risky a starter as there is — he’s even on Rudy’s list of risky pitchers for 2012 — but it’s hard to find his sort of Ks on waivers.  And, one day, he’ll put it together and we’ll have a good time then… You know we’ll have a good time then.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Alex Avila – To the DL with a hamstring strain.  Only positive here is Miggy homered yesterday, feeling more comfortable without AA hassling him.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

AC Bringing The Juice To LA

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 206 Comments

by:

Alex Castellanos was called up by the Dodgers to replace the DL’d Kemp, so what’s this guy’s story?  He was found in an orphanage in Crete.  He grew up eating ambrosia, feta and olives.  He spent all of his waking hours either playing baseball or pooping because of his diet.  Oh, you mean what’s his story as in what’s his stats like?  He looks like a product of the PCL, which is more glamorous than a product of Greek economists, but just as dangerous.  As we know, hitting in the PCL is like hitting on the moon with an aluminum bat.  So far in Triple-A this year (21 games), he has 4 homers, 7 steals and a .361 average.  That’s being wholly supported by an inflated BABIP because his K-rate isn’t pretty.  He’s closer to a .270 hitter with 10-ish homer power and 15-ish steal speed.  That’s solid enough in NL-Only leagues for a placeholder, but I’d hold off in mixed leagues for now.  In keepers, I’d pursue slightly more aggressively, but he is already 25 and from his picture it looks like it’s a Latin 25.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Matt Kemp – Won’t return for at least 4 weeks with a strain in two different places.  One place is his hamstring, the other place is his ears from the high-pitched screeches of his fantasy owners.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey / Rudy

Phillips Extends Lead Over B. Allen For Top Homering Screwdriver

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 557 Comments

by:

Brandon Phillips isn’t the shiniest tool in the toolbox, but he hit two homers off Beachy yesterday.  He’s gone from a 30/30 2nd baseman to a 20/20 2nd baseman to now an 18/15 2nd baseman, but that doesn’t mean you’re completely screwed if you overpaid for him on draft day.  As long as Dusty hits him between Votto and Bruce, good ol’ Brandon should deliver above average R/RBI at a solid average.  He might not be as sexy as an Altuve or a Jemile, but he’ll probably be a better value the rest of the way.  BTW, even if you didn’t own him last night, the best thing about BP wrecking another Beachy was we didn’t have to sit through a celebrity telethon and Sean Penn’s sourpuss.  Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Psyche!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Hamilton Satisfies Bedside Wish For Conjoined Twins

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 315 Comments

by:

“Just because we share some organs doesn’t mean you can’t hit 2 two-run homers for each of us!”  Josh Hamilton had a night that makes you feel like you’re seven years old again.  You remember it.  When the birds chirped, it made you smile.  When your dad carried you on his shoulders, you were on top of the world.  When you peed the bed, no one tried to commit you to rehab.  People pinched your cheeks without you having to pay some stranger on Craigslist $75.  You’d throw a pebble into the lake without worrying if you hit someone in the head and blinded them if your insurance would cover it.  A time of joy.  Wonder.  No Splenda.  That’s what Josh Hamilton did for us last night.  And he also gave his stupid fantasy owners 4 friggin’ homers, going 5-for-5 with 4 runs and 8 RBIs.  Why don’t I have him on every team?!  I would not try and sell him high because if he stays healthy (it doesn’t have to be that remote of a chance, you cynical bastard), you have an MVP.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Adrian Beltre – 2-for-5 with a homer.  Pfft, wake me when you hit three more!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 Catchers, 2011 Fantasy Baseball

| 2011 Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 139 Comments

by:

It feels like yesterday the baseball regular season started.  You wrote “I heart baseball” in permanent marker on your arm, then you met a girl who wrote “I heart guys who heart baseball” on her arm, then, during sex in September, you screamed out “I love you, Marco Scutaro!” and now you don’t have baseball or a girlfriend.  C’mon, calendar, make like a soldier and turn to March.  The only cure for the post-baseball season blues — recapping the preseason top twenty lists and being hand-fed Doritos.  First up, Cool Ranch and our preseason Top 20 Catchers for 2011.  It’s important to look back before we look ahead to 2012.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

A Tendon’s Down With Holliday

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 31 Comments

by:

Matt Holliday sat out yesterday with a hand-thinga-ma-injury — a tendon or a ligament.  Sounds like he’s going to miss the rest of the season, but for right now he’s only out for four (stutterer!) to five days.  I’ll tell you what I’m not gonna miss….  Matt Holliday.  A .295 average, 1 steal and 22 homers?  You know what that is?  A good season for Andre Ethier.  It’s not a good season for Matt Holliday.  Matt Holliday does more than that.  At least in my mind.  I’m not in your mind so that’s all I have to go on.  On the bright side, this injury didn’t cost a moth their life.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Ray Gets A Stinger

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 102 Comments

by:

B.J. Upton went o-for-3 or one-for-four if you count him hitting the outfield wall.  You say unfeeling, I say how dare he start in front of Desmond Jennings.  I sat down to watch this game wearing my dress made of doilies with Desmond Jennings’s face on each doilie, i.e., my Desmond tutu, only to find him benched.  How dare you, sir.  In fact, I’m bringing out the douchey one word per sentence thing.  How.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

A-Rod Plays Poker With Hudson, Diaz, Cards

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 147 Comments

by:

As Alex Rodriguez rehabs down in Miami, the heat (oofa!) is on his gambling habits.  “According to the baseball executive, MLB has yet to positively determine that Rodriguez took part in the (poker) games, which reportedly included actors Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, John Malkovich and that guy in that movie starring that other guy.”  Poker is a game played by men or women who will beat your ass, so you know A-Rod is only getting invited to these games because he’s probably the world’s worst poker player.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Jesus To Be Bigger Than The Beatles

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 169 Comments

by:

Linguist, academic and all-around good guy with a lot of free time on his hands, David Crystal says there’s been no definitive research on how many people are actually laughing out loud when they type out el oh el  (Thanks, Wikipedia!).  I’m guessing the number is less than 50% and the number of people actually rolling on the floor laughing when they type that dopey acronym is far less.  I bring this up to impress on you the amount of things read on the internet that turn out to be false.  With all that said (and it was a lot, wasn’t it?), the internet tells me the Yankees are going to promote Jesus Montero in the next couple of weeks.  If you read that and no streamers or balloons fell from the ceiling, then pull the rip cord harder.  In keeper leagues, he should be owned already.  If he’s not, I’m assuming you’re in an NL-Only league or a mixed league filled with atheists.  Back in February, the two thousand and eleventh year of Jesus Montero’s call up, I gave him the projections of 20/5/30/.290 in 100 at-bats.  Still sounds about right.  I’m a God, mortal!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Hanley Ramirez – Day-to-day with a sprained shoulder.  That sounds like nothing for a guy who plays through injuries and just lives and breathes the game like he’s Luke Appling or some other old timey player.  Unfortunately, that’s not Hanley Ramirez.  My guess is he’ll miss at least five to seven games.

Please, blog, may I have some more?