In 2010, the Diamondbacks traded Dan Haren to the Angels for Joe Saunders (and Patrick Corbin and Tyler Skaggs). Turned out in that parenthetical lied the rub. At the time of the trade, ESPN Fantasy said, “…this looks like highway robbery for the Angels, and a salary dump for the Diamondbacks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here’s what I said last November about Theo Epstein, “A new GM can toss out the used-up-and-spit-out pieces he inherits, right? It’s like when a new boss comes into a flailing company and all the employees start quaking in their boots that they’re gonna get fired because they’re unproductive.Please, blog, may I have some more?
As David Brent’s friend would say, “Only one for the Bum, no harm done.” Madison Bumgarner got SF another SHO as he threw a game that made it easy to get behind the Bum and not just for those in The Castro — 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 2 walks and 8 Ks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
As if pitching in the NL West wasn’t advantageous enough, Troy Tulowitzki and Matt Kemp look destined for the DL. Tulo strained his groin – which is too low or too high for a strain depending on your preference (I prefer to strain a pun).Please, blog, may I have some more?
Nolan Reimold has started this season like I thought he’d start the 2009 season. And the 2010 season. And the 2011 season. See a pattern? If not, I suggest answering C on all standardized tests and lowering your safety school expectations. It feels like Reimold’s been sleeping on his post-hyper’dom since Branch Rickey was just a twig. He has 25-ish homer power and 10-ish steal speed. If he gets on one, he hits 30 homers and steals 15 and is a top 25 outfielder. If he hits his head on his post-hyper-ness, you drop him. In my Nolan Reimold fantasy from January, I gave him the line of 65/24/80/.250/10. Don’t wanna trust January Grey because he’s been known to hit the bottle? ZiPS updated their projections for Reimold to 65/22/68/.260/10. So don’t trust me. But you gotta trust someone in this life. You can’t go it alone. Cause when you let people in, the world opens up to you. I think the preceding was a speech given by Patrick Dempsey in an 80′s movie that was followed by a slow clap. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Santiago Casilla – You know what he possibly gives you this year? 35 saves. Know what, say, Brett Myers gives you? 25 saves. We’re Cust kayin’ here, but Casilla should be owned.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The first full week brought more reliever injuries, questionable manager decisions, and batting slumps, causing much consternation in the Razzball world. Colby Rasmus took a lot of the vitriol, and was dropped in 10 leagues. He was usually picked up again, though, and started to heat up, finishing with 5 RBI and a stolen base.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I don’t necessarily love Adam LaRoche. Or LaLove him, for that matter. Sure, I’d like him more if he slept with a groupie then screamed, “And that’s how you screw LaPooch!” But I have no way of knowing that, and thinking of LaRoche having groupies is like thinking people actually buy John Tesh CDs. Though I do enjoy La Bouche — want to be my lover, be my lover! LaRoche reminds me of the guy you have on your team that you’re looking to drop all season long for anyone that’s hot, but still gives you 25 homers and passable counting stats. Strike that, he doesn’t remind me of that guy. He is that guy. Are you gonna wake up one morning and say to yourself, “I may have been fired, can’t make my mortgage payment this month and have yellow pits on my favorite t-shirt, but I own LaRoche… Today’s gonna be a good day!” Nah, son, shizz ain’t gonna be that sunny, but he’s hitting and healthy and should be owned. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Hector Santiago – On the podcast the other day, I distinctly remember saying (in my high-pitched Jersey accent that actually makes dogs howl) that Addison Reed would end up with more saves than Santiago this year. Well, la dee whatever, right now you should own Santiago.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Can I get a “no” with eleven O’s? I personally don’t have the heart right now to type them all. Yesterday, Giancarlo Stanton, the pride and joy of my heart and the name scribbled all over my Trapper Keeper, said that his knee is bothering him and will continue to bother him. He said it’s “something that’s obviously not going to get much better playing every day.” Of course, like the fortune cookie game where you add “in bed” at the end, everything that Giancarlo says also has, “but I will do my best for my novio, Grey Albright.” You are mi novio too, Giancarlo. We are boy dot-dot-dot friends. There’s a dot-dot-dot in there, but sometimes it feels like there’s not. Court papers say that dot-dot-dot needs to be from 250 feet away. I’m pretty bummed out, because I do think he’ll play 135-ish games, but if he’s not at 100% with his knees, it could hurt his swing and the ten or so steals he can contribute. The best case scenario is once the weather heats up, some of the pain is alleviated and, luckily, he plays in a warm weather city. My sad emoticons are weeping. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Scott Baker – Out for the year with a bad elbow. It’s a painful surgery, but at least it’s roomy in the designated waiting room.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m no Nostradumbass, but I’m telling you there’s not going to be a whole lot of greatness coming out of this post. We’re Cousteau deep right now. The first tier have some nice flyers that you may drop after a week or so and the other schmohawks in this post are, well, schmohawks. So all the 2012 fantasy baseball rankings are found under yonder and we’re moving onto pitchers next. That should excite you, you special person you. C’mon, let me pinch your cheeks. I didn’t say your face cheeks. Hey now! Anyway, here’s the top 80 outfielders for 2012 fantasy baseball:
61.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Matt Holliday sat out yesterday with a hand-thinga-ma-injury — a tendon or a ligament. Sounds like he’s going to miss the rest of the season, but for right now he’s only out for four (stutterer!) to five days. I’ll tell you what I’m not gonna miss…. Matt Holliday. A .295 average, 1 steal and 22 homers? You know what that is? A good season for Andre Ethier. It’s not a good season for Matt Holliday. Matt Holliday does more than that. At least in my mind. I’m not in your mind so that’s all I have to go on. On the bright side, this injury didn’t cost a moth their life.Please, blog, may I have some more?