Alberto Callaspo

Dan Pants

Curtis’s Knuckle May Feel Not So Superfly

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 86 Comments

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Curtis Granderson left last night’s game in the fifth inning after being hit by a pitch on the hand and fracturing his knuckle. The Yankees expect Grandy to miss at least four weeks so obviously this is a big blow to fantasy owners who just got him back a little over a week ago. Some luck, if you remember correctly it was a HBP in the forearm that sent him to the DL back in March. Someone has to invest in some new armor for Granderson, I recommended Barry Bonds’ metal-plated sleeve, but chainmail is always nice as well. Anyway, these are the breaks. Curtis Blow said that, and Curtis Granderson is living it. He was batting .269 through eight games but already had a home run, a stolen base and a couple of three hit games so the outlook was promising. Thems the breaks, right Curtis!? In the interim, I guess we can expect Ichiro or Vernon Wells to continue to see plenty of playing time, and Brennan Boesch should see plenty of burn as well, but I don’t see much value with Boesch outside AL-Only. Don’t be too sad, Yankee fans, you were doing just fine without him. Maybe Curtis Mayfield said it even better, “you’re gonna make your fortune by and by, but if you lose don’t ask no questions why.” Superfly! In other words, I’m sure there’s a deal-with-it gif on the googles or the tumblrs out there for you to look at (here, here and here), but the three Curtis’ have already moved on so hopefully you can, too.

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Dunn’s Appendix Works A Walk

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 101 Comments

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Some rejected titles for this post were, “Adam’s Appendix Is Dunn,” “Dunn’s Appendix Chooses Worst Of Three Outcomes,” and “Dunn Develops Killer App.”  First Holliday, now Adam Dunn with a busted appendix.  I heard if the doctor gets cold during the surgery, he’s going to snuggle inside Dunn like Luke did with his tauntaun.  Big Donkey only needs 5 days to heal because he already had an axe scar in that area they could re-use.  The turnaround time is so quick now on these surgeries that you have to wonder why it took the Twins so many years to remove their appendix (Nick Punto).  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Carlos Quentin – 4-for-6, 3 RBIs, 2 Runs and his 2nd homer.  He’s now hitting .500 on the year.  If he can stay healthy, he can have a huge year.  Though that if is the size of Dunn’s appendix.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey / Rudy

Call The Dream Police Cuz Bautista’s 2010 Feels Like A Cheap Trick

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 66 Comments

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Jose Bautista hit his 39th and 40th home runs last night.  As frequent commenter, VinWins, pointed out yesterday, in the Blue Kays last 162 games, Bautista has 50 homers.  Okay, I was way off with this guy, but Jose Bautista didn’t see this year coming.  His own mother doesn’t recognize him.  Every morning he wakes up wondering if the last five months were a dream.  This is the craziest home run year since Scooter McGillicuddy blasted 6 homers in 1901 while battling scurvy.  Bautista hadn’t hit 30 homers in the past two years combined in twice as many games.  His HR/FB% is nearly double his career mark.  His fly balls are through the roof, literally.  His Isolated Power is near Babe Ruth’s career mark.  The HR department thinks Bautista lied on his resume.  A mouth enters on the left side of the screen and says, “Im,” a mouth enters on the right side and says, “Probable.”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brandon Morrow – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 12 Ks.  Hello, beautiful.  I hate AL East pitchers, but I might just own Morrow on all of my teams next year.  Right after, I draft Daniel Hudson.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

The General Lee Rides Again In Georgia

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 69 Comments

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The Braves should totally give Derrek Lee the number 01 and paint him orange.  Too bad Waylon Jennings isn’t around anymore to announce him when he comes up to bat.  Lee-haw!  The Cubs received back Tyrelle Harris, who I believe is a male model, Robinson Lopez, who dispenses candy from his neck, and Jeffrey Lorick, who owns the Marlins.  Derrek Lee has hit 4 homers in his last four games and his numbers should only continue to trend upwards as we head into the home stretch.  I could see him getting to 24 homers on the year; he’s at 16.  Do the math!  The real LUZR in this is Troy Glaus, who the Braves put on the DL with a severe case of We-Don’t-Want-To-Play-You-Anymore-itis.  It’s curable, but you usually need a new team.  Kelly Johnson had a similar malady when he played for the Braves.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Xavier Nady – 1-for-3 as he played 1st base yesterday, but Micah Hoffpauir was recalled.  Hip-hip-Hoffpauir!  Not really.  I wouldn’t pick him up in any league until I saw him start hitting.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Callaspo Joins “Of Maicer Men” Cast

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 75 Comments

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Alberto Callaspo was traded to the Angels.  Exactly what the Angels needed, a light hitting infielder.  Oh, wait, no they don’t.  Why’d they get Callaspo?  To get Mel Gibson to be interested in the team?  Oh, wait, that was Apocalypto.  Anyone see that movie?  I like the part where Mel’s like, “I will slap the taste out of your mouth, Pocohontas!  So help me, I will rip your neck off!  Even if I have to go through a number of metal rings.”  Callaspo will help the Angels more than he’ll help fantasy teams.  He is what he is.  Light power, decent average, next-to-no speed.  The Royals will go with Wilson Betemit at third base.  Why are they not going with Mike Moustakas or Alex Gordon?  Because for whatever reason the Royals are punishing them.  If you can figure out the peasant Royals, you get a cookie.  I actually like Betemit if he’s the everyday 3rd baseman.  He has 4 homers and a .377 average in 61 ABs this year.  As for “Of Maicer Men,” I think Callaspo is more Lennie than George.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

David DeJesus – Slammed into the outfield wall when DeJesus was turning a Jeter out into a homer.  He’s listed as day-to-day, which is trade deadline code for “Please still trade us someone for DeJesus, he’s really, really healthy.”  In reality, he’ll probably be out for a while.  So, while Betemit might replace Callaspo, here’s a chance for Gordon to see some daylight.  We’ll see now how much sense the Royals make.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

MmmFlop

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 126 Comments

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Tommy Hanson‘s line yesterday was one and two-thirds innings and eight earned runs.  Yes, you’ve been Pwnson’d.  Hanson said he felt dizzy during the game, I’m sure his owners can sympathize.  Hanson has an ERA of 4.18 on the year and back to back bad starts.  Try and put a pine tree air freshener on that and it still stinks.  Going into this year, I steered clear of Hanson.  I was legitimately worried about his innings pitched jump from ’08 to ’09.  So sell fast right now?  Not so fast, Paulo.  I’m going under the assumption that you don’t own him because you listened to me in the preseason.  Hanson has a tremendous K-rate and his walks have been fine.  Even yesterday it was an ill-timed homer to Votto that did him in.  Do I think Hanson could still be a risk because of his innings last year?  Yup, you betcha.  But I’d buy him for 50 cents on the dollar.  It depends how cheap you can swindle his dramatized owner.  It takes alligator blood to check raise to the bed wetter.  Anyway, here’s what else saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brooks Conrad – If you didn’t see the end of the Braves game, you should try to catch the Brooks Conrad homer.  Unlike Nix.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Ike A Virgin

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 437 Comments

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You’ll have to excuse me; I’m a bit hoarse after a weekend in Vegas, so don’t ask me to yell.  All caps are just too much right now.  I’m not sure where I lost my voice.  May have been during our spirited game of Pai Gow Poker.  What was I doing playing $15 hands of a game where I literally just turned my cards over so the dealer could tell me how to play them?  It’s the free drinks, ya’ll!  About eighty dollars worth a free drinks to be exact.  Oh, and Ubaldo was pitching a no-hitter and Pai Gow Poker had the best seats in the house.  I think even the three 70-year-old Asian ladies at the table with us were into it by the ninth.  Hair’s to you, Ubaldo!  Either way, I’m spent so I’ll have to keep my enthusiasm on simmer for now about Ike Davis.  Let’s start this mofo with what Stephen said in the Mets’ Minor League Review, “After hitting zero home runs in 215 at-bats in 2008, doubters began questioning his “raw power,” but failed to consider an oblique injury.  Splitting time between High-A and Double-A, Davis flat-out raked.  Not necessarily the most polished hitter, he still has some work to do with his swing and strikeout rate, but he should continue to hit for power as he keeps a decent rate of balls in the air (42.8 FB%).”  And that’s me quoting Stephen!  In nine games in Triple-A Buffalo, Davis has two homers as he hits a robust .357.  Not to be confused with the girls in Vegas, who are mo’bust.  The Mets are calling up Davis in the next week.  Do I take a flier on him in 12 team or deeper mixed leagues?  Certainly.  Do I expect the 2nd coming of Hayzeus Cristo?  Nope.  But if he hits in first few games, his value will go sky high and you’ll be able to trade him for more than he’s worth.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Mike Jacobs – Designated for assignment.  That assignment is to “stop sucking.”

Derek Jeter – Will return on Tuesday after missing yesterday’s game with a head cold.  Good to see he’s quickly on the mend because a head cold sidelined Greinke for a year.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 2nd Basemen for 2010 Fantasy Baseball

| 2010 Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 59 Comments

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We continue our 2010 fantasy baseball rankings with the top 20 2nd basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball.  2nd base is an odd duck.  Shortstops have speed.  You can find speed in the outfield.  There’s even some legitimate speed at 3rd base.  All of these 2nd basemen must have grown up watching Bret Boone and Jeff Kent because you’re more likely to find power at 2nd base than speed.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Position Eligibility for 2010 Fantasy Baseball, Companion Piece

| 2010 Fantasy Baseball Draft, 2010 Fantasy Baseball Keepers, 2010 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper | 40 Comments

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The comments were shut off on the Position Eligibility for 2010 Fantasy Baseball post because that post was just listing players and their eligibility for 2010 fantasy baseball.  Now, in this here post, we get down to business.  Or bidness, if you mispronounce business.  That business is pointing out players that gain some advantage by having more eligibility than they know what to do with.  Are you going to finish the rest of that 3rd base eligibility?

Please, blog, may I have some more?