Crabs gon’ eat, whether you like it or not. The best advice I can give is move out of the way when they come through your town. If they request buckets of your finest chum, drop it on your porch and back away slowly. From east to west, from north to south, and every where in between, Crabs inhabit this fine land. They might be your UPS driver, insurance agent, or state senator. They’re your husbands, friends, and neighbors. They are a secret society of highly intelligent fantasy baseball masters, and Samurai’s of the comment section, prepared for battle at the drop of a hat. I am of course discussing the inhabitants of Razzball’s own 30 team dynasty league The Razz30. It’s been a month of elite level play, with several teams still in the hunt for the 4 playoff spots in the AL and NL. Our trade deadline came and went on Monday, and there was action galore up until the last bell. As we close in on the end of our first year of independence, I’m glad to report that the state of the league has never been stronger. To all my smooth gooch rocking, white monster drinking, thirsty villains, get out the spreadsheet. Claws Up!!!

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It’s that time of the week again, you know time to tune into Halp and Ralph, and get your prospect plug in. This week we dive into some of the top performances of the last week in the minors. We talk a little Moncada, a little Hader, of course some Harrison Bader, and a few low minors bats with big upside. We start the show off talking about our many powerful political affiliations that have been cultivated through out extensive prospect knowledge. Seriously, Halph is power-brokering like you read about. Hell, I’ve been to at least 7 secret meetings in the last week. Often they’re disguised as poker games, but as Ice Tea says, this ain’t no poker game. Amirite Noisewater? It’s the latest edition of the Razzball prospect podcast.

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Coming off a start in which he whiffed a career high 12 batters, Brent Honeywell continued his scorching hot start last night. The righty went 7 innings, allowing 1 run, 1 hit, and striking out 8 in the process. Now at AA Montgomery, Honeywell looks to ride his varied arsenal, including his infamous screwball, to the show by the end of the year. The only real question with Honeywell at the moment is, just how aggressive the Rays get moving him along? His control has always been elite, leading to walk rates in the 4-6% range. And while the ability to generate swings and misses has always been there, it’s noticeably ticked up this season. The time to buy Honeywell might be now as he continues his assault on the AA Southern League. I’m never one to invest much in a pitching prospect, particularly one in the AL East, but Honeywell is the rare exception.

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Not going to lie, this post should be in all caps. As any proud New Englander would, I got piss drunk before writing this opening. Was it convenient that there was a Patriots playoff game? Sure, but I could have limited myself. Instead I drank too many IPA’s and traded Gausman for Paxton, and can’t remember writing this as I answer your questions. If my grammar is correct, you should see how slow I’m typing. There is no fate for a tried and true Sox fan such as myself worse than writing up the Yankees farm system. Here’s the thing, this farm is sexy AF, as the kids say. I’m 35 Y’all! Things are changing, but I rap/write/live the fantasy life like I’m 22! So I am the kids! All right so maybe I’m trying not to say this, but….the Yanks might have the most exciting farm system for fantasy. Better than the White Sox, Astros, or Dodgers. They have legit high upside bats with close proximity. They have far out internationals. They have it all of course, it’s the Yanks. Their sellers mentality flew in the face of their traditional identity, but it was effective in obtaining a great deal of prospect talent. You know I got to drop the SEO bomb, it’s the Top New York Yankees Prospects, I repeat The Top New York Yankees prospects.

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It’s the show that Halp, my in-laws, Smokey, Short Round, Billy Crystal, Donald Trump and Jiggaman have been waiting for. It’s the New York Yankees top prospects podcast! I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty excited. Even though I’m what my New Jersey born and bred mother in law calls, “a Bawstin”. Yes, she actually calls me that, but often reassures me that besides Donnie Wahlberg I’m her favorite one. Mother in Law shade aside, we get into all the big prospects. The Gleyber, The Frazier, The Judge, The Justus, and The Rutherford. All Yankees prospects get a The in front of their name, like Ohio State in NFL introductions. Truthfully, I’m just hoping they don’t charge me with any sort of copyright infringement, or make me shave my beard, or cut my hair. You know it’s not my Boston roots that leave me emotionally unattached to the Bronx Bombers, it’s their strict dress code. I don’t do well with dress codes. Enough about my issues with authority, let’s talk some Top New York Yankees Prospects.

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Sometimes you ask and you shall receive and in that vein, I begin this month’s Razznasty update. Now I know the two questions you’re asking, what did you ask for and receive? And which vein? First, it’s the main vein, you know the one in the middle…. Secondly, I asked our very own Hippo in the bush Matt Truss to make a push in the standings over the course of June so I could name the next update “Can’t Truss It”. Done and done. I told Mr. Truss-ah Truss that I’d dress as Flavor Flav from this video while I wrote it. Truss, that I held up my end of the bargain, picture me decked out in white tuxedo with top hat and Batman glasses. Unfortunately I can’t share with all of you due to a shortage on the correct cartridges for my vintage Polaroid Sun 600. Sorry boys, and whatever number of girls are reading this year. I believe we were up to five, but we might have lost a few after the Jose Canseco interview. There’s nothing that upsets the ladies more than invasive question about Madonna’s early 90’s sperm brokering. Enough of the bollocks, onto the Razznasty update for June. Dynasty League Baseball at it’s finest.

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Tell me this isn’t the most American thing you’ve ever heard. I sit mere miles from Cooperstown, NY, sipping an American made brew, working away on the final stretches of my Mid-Season Top 100 Prospects for Fantasy Baseball, while fireworks crackle overhead. The smell of beer and lawn clippings fill the air, and I just cooked some bacon on the barrel of my rifle. The last sentence was complete bullshizz, but the part before it is fairly accurate. I mean I’m not enough of a tool that I would sit in the yard with my laptop writing. But I am enough of a tool that I was formulating what I would type, once the pack of wild animals I affectionately call my children decide to finally retire to their beds for the evening. Well, the time has come and here I am writing to you, and you alone. Without anymore rambling incoherent non-sense, allow me to introduce the Top 100 Prospects Fantasy Baseball. This list is built with an eye to the future, in other words my goal is for this list to be more reflective of a pre-season 2017 list than the pre-season 2016 lists. I went bold, and I avoided the boring. Meaning I have no use for your Julio Urias’, your Lucas Giolito’s, A.J. Reed’s, Cody Reed’s and the like. You know those guys, they’re playing in the bigs, at this point they’re A. owned in your dynasty or B. owned in your redraft league so C. they’re owned. You thought I was going to say there’s no C right? What do I look like Grey? Nope I’m much taller and my facial hair is more Don Johnson than John Oates.

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It’s easy to get lost in the scouting reports and tool grades from a million different resources. Buying too heavily into projection over production. I get caught up in it too, I Prospector Ralph am no scout. I’m one part Hemmingway, one part James Frey, blended heavily with an overly-enthusiastic approach to minor leaguers. In other words I’m a really, really fun minor league enthusiast. Saturday night at the Lifshitz house is like The Tunnel in its hey day. Let me tell you! (Queue the music, apply Timbos with the finest Polo swag) We have sleeping kids, lots of televised baseball, coffee, a baby named after a major leaguer learning to walk, then there’s a ruggedly handsome, but slightly dim witted looking gentleman typing away on his phone and laptop. Feverishly switching screens between gulps of java. That’s me and I’m combing through mounds of statistics and figuring out which ones I should report and which I should ignore. Why you ask? Well for this post where I look at 4-5+ of the minor league leaders in a handful of fantasy relevant categories. Most of it’s age based bias, if the leader is 28 in a particular category but number 3 is 21, I’m taking that young meat. Blah, blah, blah, blah, let’s get into it.

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