You could argue Mike Minor threw a slightly better game yesterday and deserved the lede, but you’d be arguing with a computer screen and over what should be the lede on a fantasy baseball blog. It’s about time I gave Gio Gonzalez (7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks) some love after emoting all over myself in the preseason about how much I wanted Gio on every team.
Please, blog, may I have some more?A.J. Pierzynski
Trevor Plouffe is returning from the DL and that’s big news because it’s big news. If you would’ve jumped out of a DeLorean back in March and told me I’d actually be writing a lede for Trevor Plouffe, let alone just a lede because he’s returning from the DL, I would’ve told you there’s no way Plouffe would warrant a lede and this is the information you bring back from the future?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Baltimore Orioles’ top prospect Manny Machado showed us exactly why he’s their top prospect last night, putting on an impressive display of power in just his second major league game with two home runs and four RBIs. OMGDROPEVERYTHINGANDGOPICKHIMUP!!! Well, not exactly.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Josh Vitters and Brett Jackson were called up on Sunday. Here’s what I just said on Friday when I told you to pick Vitters up, “(He) comes with high expectations simply because Cubs fans are like a 104-year-old virgin who would just love to touch the playoffs’ boobies.
Please, blog, may I have some more?C.C. Sabathia was sensational Friday night as he held the Mariners to 3 runs and just 3 hits in a complete game, striking out 10. With the loss, the Mariners impressive win streak ends at seven. Poor Sea-Seattle, but no surprise their impossible dream ends in Yankee Stadium.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Shane Victorino has long been a benchmark for many other players’ production here at Razzball. Dexter Fowler is Feign Victorino; Alejandro De Aza is Should-Hit-The-Gym-And-Train Victorino; Ryan Zimmerman is Bane of my Existence-rino. I look at Victorino like a proud papa.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Here’s what I said last November about Theo Epstein, “A new GM can toss out the used-up-and-spit-out pieces he inherits, right? It’s like when a new boss comes into a flailing company and all the employees start quaking in their boots that they’re gonna get fired because they’re unproductive.
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Chicago White Sox started a three game series with the Yankees last night and came up with a huge win. Jose Quintana pitched 6.0 innings, gave up 8 hits, 6 ER, 5 Ks, and got the win. As far as starts at Yankee Stadium go, this one could have been a lot worse.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Also known as the Bond movie no one remembers, and the start you won’t soon forget. Speaking of bad movies, remember that movie starring David Bowie as an alien in search of water who falls to Earth. I think it was called “The Man Who Fell to Earth.” Brandon Morrow did his best David Bowie impression last night as he came crashing down to Earth, getting lit up by the Mighty Texas Rangers for 6 ER in 0.2 innings, inflating his ERA to 3.47.
Please, blog, may I have some more?David Robertson to the DL for three weeks with a left oblique strain. 2009 was the Year of the Oblique, then there was the Middle Infieluenza Outbreak of Twenty-Ten, and 2011 was a war between General Soreness and Major Discomfort. This year is The Closepocalypse. If you’re a closer and gonna go to the DL, at least get your make-believe plague right.
Please, blog, may I have some more?

