Call the Sons of Sam Horn! Get Matt Damon on the line! Someone tweet @RemDawg! Unfreeze Ted the Head! Avengers Assemble! The Red Sox are set to promote their next top super-prospect, Blake Swihart, today to serve as the primary catcher while Ryan Hanigan is on the shelf. If the legends spoke of in ancient Fenway lore are true, he could be the one who will bring balance back to a Red Sox pitching staff that has looked somewhat questionable in the early going. A late first round pick in 2011, Swihart gathered a lot of buzz in spring training this year after slashing .333/.375/.533 with a HR and 8 RBI. In 18 games with AAA Pawtucket this year he’s hit .338/.392/.382 with 3 doubles and 11 RBI. With just 22 home runs in five minor league seasons I wouldn’t expect much power from Swihart, but as a spray hitter the bat certainly seems to be major league ready. Initially, Boston felt Swihart’s defense needed a bit more seasoning in the minors, but there is unquestionably some offensive upside, especially in Boston’s heavy hitting, run scoring line up. Here’s what Razzball’s prospector Mike said last week about Swihart, who was ranked #11 in his Prospect Power Rankings, “With the injuries and such at the catching position right now, folks will be chomping at the bit to add Swihart to their teams when he arrives.” He’s so right, you guyz, if your fantasy catcher situation is anything like mine, you’re cycling out a cast of characters the likes of Nick Hundley, Tucker Barnhart, Crash Davis and Caleb Joseph, some of whom do more harm than good. I’d take a chance on Blake Swihart if you need a catcher, he’s owned in less than 5% of ESPN leagues but as soon as Brandi-Lynn from Southie finds out everyone will know so act quickly. There is potential runs and average here, and like every Sawx prospect, there is all that sweet, sweet upside, so here’s hoping Blake can rake.

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Also known as the Bond movie no one remembers, and the start you won’t soon forget. Speaking of bad movies, remember that movie starring David Bowie as an alien in search of water who falls to Earth. I think it was called “The Man Who Fell to Earth.”  Brandon Morrow did his best David Bowie impression last night as he came crashing down to Earth, getting lit up by the Mighty Texas Rangers for 6 ER in 0.2 innings, inflating his ERA to 3.47. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Will Middlebrooks was called up to step between his brother, Donnybrook, Bobby Valentine and Youuuuuuuuuk.  Youuuuuuuuuk said, “Ow, my back hurts, I need the DL,” Valentine said, “Just wrap yourself in lavash, that makes everything better.”  Donnybrook erupted in a public place because of needling from Sawx fans and Will Middlebrooks hits a lot of homers in the minors.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When Ike Davis told reporters,”Gag me with a spoon,” red flags were raised.  Why was he talking like he grew up in Reseda?  It wasn’t the dreaded Valley Fever, was it?  Like, oh my god, it might be.  Valley Fever, from what I gathered from Google, WebMD and other non-reliable sources, could knock Davis out a week, two weeks, a month, a year or for his career.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?