busta

When did Busta Rhymes get so fat? Dayam!!! Dude looks like he ate the Busta Rhymes I remember that put out some great music back in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. I’m not much of a rap fan, but I was always a Busta fan. When he sang “Gimme Some More” who knew he was talking to the guy that was putting food on his plate. Did you hear what the talking M&M said to Busta in that unreleased M&M’s commercial? Put your hands where my eyes can see. Sorry Busta, it’s too easy. Please spend less time at the all you can eat buffets with Billy Butler and CC Sabathia and more time making dope music. I’m sure there’s a spot in the Fast and Furious 8 Soundtrack for you.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Kennys Vargas was demoted to Double-A. Shouldn’t it be Double-Kenny? It’s official, the Twins hate Vargas. They gave him all of about ten days to prove himself this time around. Maybe they just get off on killing Kennys. Oh, well, that’s all I wanted to say in the lede. Nothing else. Just gonna pick my cuticles until I get to that “Anyway, here’s what else” jazz that I always write. Oh, I guess I could mention Miguel Sano is being called up. I buried the lede worse than Kendall Graveman! First Buxton and now Sano, this is the most excitement Minnesota’s seen since Prince was spotted at a Cold Stone Creamery ordering raspberry sorbet, and, without missing a beat, the cashier said, “And if it was warm, you’d order much more,” then high-fived his oblivious co-worker. I just gave you my Miguel Sano fantasy. I wrote it with an 80’s glam Sharpie. I’ll add one thing to that. Grab him right now! He could hit .180 with power or he could hit .250 with power, but, either way, at corner infidel, you do worse, as my Jewish grandmother would say. After saying, “Oy, it’s hot in here.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So I pulled up MLB.com on Wednesday morning and clicked the calendar over to Thursday’s games to get an idea of what I would be working with for tonight’s slate. I saw three night games. Yes, three.

I made the two-hour drive to New York City, and hailed a cab to 245 Park Avenue to the office of the commissioner of baseball. After a brief — 10 hour — meeting, I made my pitch, but he ruled against me and kept the slate so small. If I couldn’t convince Rob Manfred to change things up, I’m not sure how Tom Brady will do.

Alas, I emailed one of our fearless editors, and he informed me that the show must go on.

So, let’s take a look at this mess… err… mesmerizing slate. Yeah, that works.

Straight to the cash, homie.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A group of men debating the guilt or innocence of another…sounds like our comments section.  This is one of the rare movies where I enjoyed the original and the 1997 remake. Damn, that was really a star studded cast. Yes, Tony Danza is a star, he was in Cannonball Run II! That’s one movie series I would hate to see remade. Is it me, or is Hollywood stuck in a rut? [Jay’s Note: I wonder why?] It feels like every week a poorly done remake or reboot that should of been left alone is coming out. Poltergeist, really Hollywood?…really. I don’t even need to see that to know it’s crap. Wait, this has nothing to with anything today, except what spun out of my head when I saw Tony Danza’s name. If I was Grey, this would make for the perfect segue to a Alyssa Milano dating someone who plays baseball for the Dodgers reference. Dah, I did it again… You would think I would be talking about me with the word angry in the title, but nope, this is the RCL update and it’s about you. Okay, mostly about you and a little about “us”. Follow me after the jump and you’ll know what I’m talking about…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well happy Sunday everyone and merry Byron Buxton day to you. That’s right the chosen one is upon us, the most hyped Major League debut since Bryce Harper. But believe it or not that’s not all!! We have Francisco Lindor joining the party as well as today’s undercard. If these two stud prospects are already owned in all of your season long leagues there’s a great way to get in on the festivities. Play some DraftKings and draft ’em both! Buxton is an affordable $4,200, while Lindor is just $3,900, so both players can easily be fit into a lineup. Hell, I’m doing a prospect lineup for some GPP’s with McCullers, Foltynewicz, Lindor, Buxton, Gallo, Swihart, and Addison Russell. I’m also using fellow top prospect Carlos Correa in a lineup or two. It’s been a big week for the future sex machines of our game. I have no idea how long Buxton sticks but he’s going to be fun to own. But wait prospects aren’t the only excitement on tap for today, did you have a gander at the pitching ledger? Aces on aces my over the interweb friends. Scherzer, Sale, Kluber, Hamels, Gray, Lester, and Taylor Jungmann! I can hardly contain myself can you tell?

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

His name is Bills because his parents were told at the hospital that you can’t put an apostrophe in a name, and got mixed up when the nurse asked, “Whose birth certificate will this be?” and they said, “Bills.” Bills is now 34 and wears jorts and an American flag tie-dyed t-shirt all year. Same ones. Doesn’t have five dozen of the same shirt and jorts, but Bills sometimes tells people he does. Bills’s jorts remain fresh because he washes them every night, though this has caused them to fray. Bills has one love, fireworks on July 4th. Bills travels all around the Midwest, picking up fireworks at 24-hour fireworks stores. Bills laughs when people question why a fireworks store would be open 24 hours a day. Bills says, “For when you can’t sleep.” Now, if Bills were to set up all his fireworks on July 3rd and fire them off at midnight on July 4th, Bills would be Jeff Luhnow. On Sunday, Carlos Correa was called up, and wasting no time, he followed that up with Vincent Velasquez, the Astros prized pitching prospect. His fireworks cannon was filled, and he’s firing! Prospector Mike said this offseason, “While Mark Appel pushes into #2 starter territory, Velasquez sits comfortably with #3 starter upside and shouldn’t be overlooked. He’s got Tommy John on the books already and missed some time this past year with a groin issue, so his development has been slowed a bit, but he’s got two plus pitches in his fastball/changeup and he survived a 55 inning stint at High-A Lancaster. Despite the missed time, Velasquez could see the majors quickly thanks to above average command of his fastball. To give you an idea of a different above-average command, ‘Die, Grey, die.'” Hey, what’s the big idea?! This year in Double-A, Velasquez had a 12.7 K/9, 3.1 BB/9 and 1.37 ERA. Basically, drool, drool and more drool. I tried to grab him in every league, but I was too slow. He’s worth the flyer to see if he surprises hitters with his 95 MPH fastball and devastating change. There’s a real chance here for some fireworks for Bills. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yeah, yeah, normally I open with something about a player but today I just ain’t doing it. Instead, I’m going to point out something I enjoy personally about the DFS world that, oddly, hasn’t happened much for my day of the week this year: the short slate. Today we have eight games on the docket which is a healthy amount and yet not one that requires an overload of breakdown or information. If you’re a novice or are still cutting your teeth on this silly little game we play, I strongly encourage you to take advantage of days like this or to sign up for games built around the ‘turbo’, ‘early’, or ‘late’ sets. These tend to be slates catering to smaller amounts of games played. They’re good for cash games, which in turn are good for your wallet, which in turn is good for your spinning of the wheel on the bigger slates and some tourney goodness. Anywhere from a five game to up to an eight or even nine is a nice place to be in my book. But enough about my weird novella, let us break it down. Here’s my flaming hot takes for the Monday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In my never ending quest to blend two start pitchers and nostalgia, I stumbled upon a even better spin-off of last week’s premise. In Week 9’s post we dove head first into a little Nintendo nostalgia (awesome band name BTW) and a cornucopia of rad games were discussed. Seemed like everyone had opinions on Battletoads. Interesting because I always thought that hands down Battletoads held the record for most frustrated controller throws induced. Frustration City Beeyatch! The most discussed game by a large measure was the classic pastime of the pugilistic arts “Mike Tyson’s Punchout”. Some of you claim to have defeated Tyson with Little Mac, to which I say “You’re a bunch of stinkin’ Liars”. Seriously lasting one round with Tyson in and of it self was a victory. Then again maybe King Of Kong Billy Mitchell is reading the Razz, I suppose one never knows. I mean all of you could actually be productive and upstanding members of society! Feel like I might be giving our readers a bit too much credit. Go ahead take it for what it’s worth. Regardless Mike Tyson’s Punchout is this week’s theme. So the tiers will be listed by character and we can discuss everyone’s exploits with “Little Mac” in the comments. I wonder if that’s what Mark McGuire calls his junk?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Maybe I shamed the Marlins into caring about their bullpen. Maybe I’m just like my mother, she’s never satisfied. Why do we scream at Steve Cishek? This is what it sounds like, when fantasy baseballers cry! Damn, I’ll never get sick of Prince. Well, except when I have to rely on him to hit homers from my 1st base slot. As they removed Cishek from the closer role, the Marlins said, “Shrek has done a tremendous job for us, but at the end of the day, it’s about winning games.” They call Cishek Shrek? Is that so the 12-year-old Yelich isn’t scared to room with him? Holy cow, have you seen Cishek?! He looks like he could be Yelich’s younger brother! Do the Marlins pay their prospects in Girl Scout cookies? Does the team bus have to wait an extra five minutes every day so they can finish their paper route? Are Yelich and Cishek extras from the off-Broadway adaption of Drake & Josh? I have questions, y’all! So, Cishek is not only out, but looks like a flaming Pu-Pu Platter. I’d grab A.J. Ramos immediately, stash Mike Dunn and Bryan Morris and would even look at Rafael Soriano, since the Marlins said they might sign him. Oh, and once Henderson Alvarez returns, there’s speculation Tom Koehler could close. A Koehlser?! In other words, this shituation is a closerousel, so hold on for your life. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but the latest in rookie nookie will be making his debut tonight.  Everyone wants to hook up with Noah Syndergaard, myself included.  The kid’s been just obliterating the PCL to the tune of a 1.82 ERA, 0.944 WHIP and K-rate of 10.3.  Those numbers alone are impressive, then you factor in how hitter friendly the PCL can be and they become knock your socks off numbers.  Even last year when his PCL numbers weren’t wonderful, Noah was still mowing them down at around a 10 K/9 pace, so the strikeout  potential is real.  Syndergaard cracks the top 10 in just about everyone’s top 10 prospects lists, including our very own Prospect Mike who ranked him as high as 3rd.  Noah gets the call against the Cubs who just so happen to lead the majors in strikeouts right now.  At $7,200, Syndergaard provides terrific upside with the potential for plenty of high scoring Ks.  Of course, rookie nookie can always be dangerous.  I’m guessing the buzz around the kid will cause his ownership percentage to be on the high side.  If you have a feeling that 30% or so of the field will be waking up in a bathtub full of ice with no kidneys, then by all means, employ the fade.  As someone who missed out on him in all but one of his yearly leagues, I’ll happily insert him some lineups just to ride the wave a bit.  The beauty of DFS is you don’t need to be first to the waiver wire, you just have to work in the salary.  I’ll be swiping right and enjoying my rookie nookie hook-up tonight, how about you?

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?