This is always painful, but it’s also necessary.  What follows is a look back at my preseason prospect rankings — a self audit, if you will.  To be clear, this isn’t a re-ranking or anything, but it should suffice to remind all of you that I am mostly stupid.  Please keep in mind that these guys are very early in their careers, and there is plenty of time for each to either figure it out, or get figured out.  Anyway, let’s cut to it:

1.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

For a quick recap of closers potentially on the move with the trade deadline looming, here’s the Bottom of the Ninth post from two weeks ago.

Houston Astros: In an even earlier post, I covered the Astros closing situation. For a not-so-quick recap, Brett Myers is due $10 million in 2013 if he closes 45 games and doesn’t end the year on the DL.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Here’s one way baseball could take cues from fantasy baseball.  Yesterday, the Marlins announced that they’d be going to a closer-by-committee, which puts Steve Cishek in line for saves.  If they had a fantasy baseballer (<–my mom’s term!) running their club, things would’ve been different down in South Florida.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ernesto Frieri got the save yesterday in the 11th inning, but Downs came on in the 9th in a tie game.  On one hand, teams hold back their closer in a tie game in away games, in case they get the lead.  On the other hand, sometimes whoever pitches the ninth is the closer.  On a third lesser known hand that is actually a mitten on a doorknob, maybe Downs just came in to face two lefties and stayed in for Gomes.  On a fourth lesser known hand that is actually a hand spraypainted onto a dolphin, there is no fourth lesser known hand spraypainted onto a dolphin; c’mon, man, that’s just cruel.  On a fifth lesser known hand that is actually a giant hand-shaped pinata, The Sciosciapath is managing all of this, so if he sees Frieri get the save, Frieri could be the man.  If Frieri is out there, I’d grab him.  I still think Downs is in the mix.  Walden’s droppable outside of deep leagues.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Marco Estrada – To the DL with a right hip flexor injury.  Chubby Checker just shuddered.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Here’s what’s gonna happen.  You’re gonna be out at a family BBQ for Memorial Day.  Your weird uncle that has coke bottle glasses is going to ask your girlfriend if she’ll pass the potato salad just so he can get a glimpse of her bra when she moves her arm, and then your friend is going to text you, “Anthony Rizzo called up!  I grabbed him… Lqqk who sucks –> You!  Say hello to your mother for me.”  First thing you’re gonna think is, why are you friends with this guy?  Bad enough he’s an ass, but he uses Q’s for O’s.  Second thing you’re gonna think is, why you didn’t grab Rizzo and stash him a week ago?  He is absolutely raking in Triple-A:  .359 average, 13 homers in 37 games.  LaHair’s obviously not getting benched, but he can slide into the outfield and Rizzo will be playing 1st base for the Cubs by June 5th.  You can wait until June 4th if your league needs Nerf to supply the balls, but, in most leagues, you better grab him soon.  In the meantime, let’s start calling Rizzo “The Scer.”  You know, if Phil Rizzuto was The Scooter.  Okay, maybe that doesn’t work.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Dale Thayer – Street’s closed, use alternate route.  I’d consider going down Thayer.  Street’s supposed to open again in a few weeks, but city planners and construction have already closed this Street 15 times in the last few years from just wear and tear.  Chances are it’s up and running again are never definite.

Please, blog, may I have some more?