I contemplated picking up Lonnie Chisenhall for about as long as it takes me to eat a pupusa from my neighborhood El Salvadorean lady that has different hairnets to match her camisas. About 12.7 seconds. I’ll risk indigestión for those cheesy-pork flapjacks of wonderful. At the waiver wire, I was like, “So many rookies have come up — rookies with great pedigrees — and they’ve been pretty yawnstipating– Screw it, he has 3rd base eligibility.” In Arizona this spring, Rudy and I took in an Indians game and saw Chisenhall firsthand. He impressed us with his hitting — seemed like a bona fide mollywhopper — and was one of those guys we felt would make an impact in 2011. This year in Triple-A, he has 7 homers in 64 games and 17 homers in 117 games last year in Double-A. He may not hit for much average, and could be off some of my mixed teams in a few weeks because his power doesn’t immediately appear, but I’ll risk indigestión for some rookie nookie upside. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Mat Gamel – The Brewers recalled him. According to Rudy’s Point Shares, Gamel is a league replacement value 3rd baseman in a 12-team NL-Only league at 26/7/30/2/.256. The camera pans to Gamel for his reaction and he’s fumbling his drink. What a klutz. McGehee doesn’t have the corner locked down quite like Marlo Stanfield, but Gamel will probably only be up for a week during interleague. If Gamel hits like a beast as he’s done in Triple-A this year — 17 homers in 75 games — he could stick around. Or if the Brewers move back to the AL, which seems less likely. He’s worth an immediate pickup in all deeper leagues for a shot of adrenaline to your fantasy baseball heart. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Orlando Hudson to the Twins. Anyone ever wonder about how Disneyland and Disney World are both in an Orange County in two different states? Weird, right? Yeah, deep thoughts with Grey Albright. So Orlando Hudson goes to the Twins and retains the same value he’s had with every other team. You can set your watch to “Blah” and Hudson will get there every time. He’s around the same value as Crapolanco. He’ll slide into the two hole in the lineup and slash around 85/10/65/.290/10. As they say, a better real baseball move. And by “they,” I mean whoever says that. The best part of signing Hudson is that Twins fans can say see-ya to Casilla as a starter at 2B and punt Punto to under 200 plate appearances. Anyway, here’s some more signings and goings-on for 2010 fantasy baseball:
Orlando Cabrera — To the Reds. Orlando Cabrera is slightly more exciting than Hudson, but really it couldn’t have been more yawnstipating. O-Cab brings a bit more speed potential with a slightly lower average. Think 80/10/75/.275/15. Not a bad name to look at late at MI, but you’ll definitely grow bored of him sometime in April. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Catchers, 1st basemen, 2nd basemen and shortstops for 2009 have been accounted for. Up now, the top 20 3rd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball. Lots of surprises in the top 20 for 3rd basemen. On top, Mini-Donkey, Figgy, Longoria and Kung Fu Panda, which sounds like an anime cartoon that has a 75% chance of giving you a seizure. (BTW, anyone ever watch anime? It’s about giant robots that want to be loved. That shizz is depressing.) Then when you get to around the halfway mark-o, the drop off is precipitous. Please, blog, may I have some more?
We already went over the top 20 catchers for 2009 and the top 20 1st first basemen for 2009. Today, it’s all about the top 20 2nd basemen. The 2nd basemen pool is shallow (not as kiddie-sized as the shortstops, but we’ll get to them in the next post). Because of this shallowivity (Made Up Word Of The Day!), the 2nd basemen rankings can be split up into two tiers. The guys you want and the tomato-tomahto guys. The Guys You Want’s names kinda give them away. The Tomato-Tomahto Guys are a whole group of 2nd basemen that are so close to each other in rank, it really didn’t matter which one of them you owned. At one time or another during the season, you probably dropped one of the Tomato-Tomahtos for a different Tomato-Tomahto. Everyone probably has one Tomato-Tomahto guy that they hated during the season. I have a few. Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hank Blalock was called Mr. September by his manager. I think he meant it as a compliment. Last year, he hit eight homers in 95 ABs in September. This year, batting .360. In the last seven games, it’s up to .400 with 2 homers. Luckily, he’s also playing every game, because he’s the only one hitting for the Rangers, which means he’ll continue to play. If you’re currently rocking an underperforming corner guy try out Blalock. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon! (BTW, I have a theory why Blalock hits well in September. The Texas summer tires the Rangers hitters out. By September, they’re done, except for Blalock because he never plays a full season. So this theory would make even more sense if Blalock’s other good month is April. Yup, checks out. In the last three years, April’s his 2nd best month. Check. Mate.) Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Bronson Arroyo – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners. Guitar Arroyo continues to roll in the 2nd half. Hopefully, I don’t have to field too many questions in March from people asking if they should draft Arroyo in 2010. You should not. I’m all for grabbing him next July though. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Right now betting on Jimmy Rollins to turn it around seems like a Horn Bet. Unless Ben Zobrist is rolling the dice. Rollins is too old, he’s too tired and he’s too… Wait, he’s not blind. Though his average might make you think he could use some of Ortiz’s eyedrops. His line on the year is 40/6/27/.225/10. I just popped a zit onto a mirror and it spelled out, “Blech.” Rollins’s K rate, ground balls and fly balls are about where they should be. But, and it’s a J. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Indians have been more of a trainwreck than Jeff Conaway and Tom Sizemore doing a community theater production of The Taking of Pelham 123. Now Grady Sizemore hits the DL with elbow inflammation. For whatever reason, this season he’s shown himself to be a bit of a flight risk. In 13 attempted steals, he’s been caught stealing 6 times. (He’s been terrible at stealing bases, but has elbow pain? Is he running on his hands? What’s the deal, friend?) Half of me wants to be the doomsayer, um, saying doom that Sizemore’s going to struggle even when he returns because of what we’ve seen in the past from players with elbow pain. Then my better half wants to say it can’t be that bad, he hit his 9th home run on Saturday. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Carlos Zambrano in his own special way welcomed the Cubs new arrival, Jake Fox, with a shizzfit of epic proportions. Zambrano was ejected for bumping an ump, I especially enjoyed when the ump ejected him and he then ejected the ump. I’m out of order? Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Carpenter/Gallardo duel reminded me of Landon and Brittini taking on Mark and Rachel as they competed to see who could slide the furthest on giant blocks of ice while wearing nothing but speedos. (BTW, Nice to see Mark battling the ageism of MTV. Stick it to man! Wait, he is a man. Show those rapscallions, gramps!) Chris Carpenter went 8 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 10 Ks, then Yovani Gallardo removed his fey white gloves and went 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 Ks, i.e., the other end of the duel. Going forward, I’d trade Carpenter away and trade for Gallardo. You may be right, I may be crazy. Gallardo can throw 200 Ks and a sub-4 ERA. While Carpenter will be tremendous if healthy, but that if is supersized. Now, no one’s saying to trade him for a Circuit City gift card, but I’d see what kind of deals you can broker. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Matt Capps – He fell to the ground in pain like he was just, um, capped as a line drive hit him in the arm. It looked as if it could lead to a DL stint. I grabbed John Grabow in every league. Jesse Chavez might see some chances, but I’m not intoxicated enough to own two Pirate relievers. Please, blog, may I have some more?