Today is the first day of the next month in our lives without Giancarlo Stanton. If you want, I’m holding a candlelight vigil in the garbage can behind Stanton’s house. If you come, don’t make too much noise. We aren’t technically supposed to be there. The good news about his hamstring injury is when he’s limping away from us, it’ll be a lot easier to stay exactly 501 feet away. Before he’d backpedal and it was like we were doing the lambada with 501 feet between us. The bad news is I’m writing this post with tears. Hnfcsdcnnn. That was a big, stupid tear that got away from me. Short circuit my keyboard, tears. I plead with you, so I don’t have to continue. I wonder if I can seal envelopes with these tears. That would be turning lemons into lemonade, right? Ow, I just touched my eyes, and now these lemons are burning my eyes. This is the sourest injury news ever. Make the pain go away, alcohol! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome back, two-start hoarders. The awful weather this April has made things a bit more challenging, as two-starters keep getting bumped from one week to the next. The coming week has a seven-game slate for most clubs, and obviously we’re hoping for fewer postponed contests, but keep in mind that Tuesday’s two-starters could easily slide into the two-start slot for week 5.

As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The duality of man:

It’s all Peaches and Herb when you can get the best out of both worlds. Well, fantasy baseball wise that’s either “Martin Prado” good or “Jerry Hairston” awkward. For fantasy pitching, a guy doesn’t necessarily become more draftable based on dual position, but I’m here to “learn” you something about spot starting from the RP spot.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As Stephen Drew tried to take that step forward in 2009 that fantasy baseball owners craved, he hurt his hamstring.  Wonder what a Drew family vacation is like… “J.D., you wanna go see the world’s largest bottle cap?  It’s supposedly 17 inches in circumference!” “Sure, I’ll go tell Mom and Pop.”  On the way to the Sequoia, two hamstring pulls, a fractured hip and the Mom needs Tommy John surgery. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?