Today is the first day of the next month in our lives without Giancarlo Stanton. If you want, I’m holding a candlelight vigil in the garbage can behind Stanton’s house. If you come, don’t make too much noise. We aren’t technically supposed to be there. The good news about his hamstring injury is when he’s limping away from us, it’ll be a lot easier to stay exactly 501 feet away. Before he’d backpedal and it was like we were doing the lambada with 501 feet between us. The bad news is I’m writing this post with tears. Hnfcsdcnnn. That was a big, stupid tear that got away from me. Short circuit my keyboard, tears. I plead with you, so I don’t have to continue. I wonder if I can seal envelopes with these tears. That would be turning lemons into lemonade, right? Ow, I just touched my eyes, and now these lemons are burning my eyes. This is the sourest injury news ever. Make the pain go away, alcohol! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Aaron Laffey
Welcome back, two-start hoarders. The awful weather this April has made things a bit more challenging, as two-starters keep getting bumped from one week to the next. The coming week has a seven-game slate for most clubs, and obviously we’re hoping for fewer postponed contests, but keep in mind that Tuesday’s two-starters could easily slide into the two-start slot for week 5.
As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yesterday, Hector Santiago went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 10 Ks. Hey, it’s the White Sox closer from 6 months ago, with that gig lasting for a minute. Not an Urbandictionary minute, which is a long time. An actual minute.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Anibal Sanchez threw a complete game shutout with four baserunners and 10 Ks. I told you to draft him! (Then drop him.) Shut up, Parenthetical, you know-it-all. (That’s kinda harsh.) This is exactly what I expected from Anibal (in the NL).
Please, blog, may I have some more?The duality of man:
It’s all Peaches and Herb when you can get the best out of both worlds. Well, fantasy baseball wise that’s either “Martin Prado” good or “Jerry Hairston” awkward. For fantasy pitching, a guy doesn’t necessarily become more draftable based on dual position, but I’m here to “learn” you something about spot starting from the RP spot.
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Aussie, Trent Oeltjen, went 4-for-4 yesterday, after hitting three homers in four games. Wait, I know this one! Sounds like Parrot Bones? If you don’t own the guy when he’s hot, when do you own him? Will he keep this up? Can I shrug? Will I own him on many teams waiting to see how long it lasts? Why not? Can I own him and Venable and Garrett Jones all on the same team, or will the rookie nookie circle of life implode on itself? Who’s to say? Can I talk in nothing, but short questions? Maybe? (Let’s hope Oeltjen didn’t share a bed with this koala. Sorry, Michael Vick, she makes STDs look cute!) Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Kevin Youkilis – The Greek God of Fisticuffs, apparently.
Please, blog, may I have some more?J.A. Happ threw a complete game shutout yesterday with only 6 baserunners and 10 Ks vs. Jorge de la Rosa’s 5 IP, 7 ER, 3 Ks line. I pretty much saw this matchup going almost exactly opposite. Maybe I had my contacts in backwards. dlR had won seven games in a row. Happ was coming off two losses. dlR’s a lefty, the Phils don’t hit lefties well. Maybe I underestimated Happ’s desire to stay in the rotation with Pedro breathing down his neck. This was a solid case for that, but if the Phils don’t pull Happ from the rotation they’re jeopardizing his 2010 (when people take flying cars to the ballpark). Happ should be moved to the bullpen and Pedro should be put into the rotation. Even if that means Pedro throws a bunch of 4 inning, 3 run games and Happ comes in in the 5th inning and throws three dominant innings. It’s the right move for everyone and I think that’s the way the Phils should/will go. To clarify, this is not an endorsement of Pedro. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
David Wright – HR yesterday. As I said yesterday in the comments, “(The Mets play-by-play man, Cohen, said) that was (Wright’s) first opposite field homer in the new park. For a guy that goes that way, that’s not great. After all, we’re in August.” And that’s me quoting me quoting Gary Cohen! Cohen also said the humidity may be helping the ball carry. So now Metco is Yellowstone instead of the Grand Canyon. Sah-weet.
Please, blog, may I have some more?As Stephen Drew tried to take that step forward in 2009 that fantasy baseball owners craved, he hurt his hamstring. Wonder what a Drew family vacation is like… “J.D., you wanna go see the world’s largest bottle cap? It’s supposedly 17 inches in circumference!” “Sure, I’ll go tell Mom and Pop.” On the way to the Sequoia, two hamstring pulls, a fractured hip and the Mom needs Tommy John surgery. Pretty sure no one’s giving them joint family coverage. The MDs in AZ say Drew’s injury shouldn’t knock him out longer than the 15 days. When you consider he hadn’t even started to hit yet, looks like Drew’ll begin his season mid-May. All in all, this is a decent buy low guy right now. If you can trade some spare parts for him (closer-du-jour, extra OF, etc.), he should prove worth stashing. He’s still talented and he can have a solid three-quarters of a season. Hopefully, he spent the first quarter on someone else’s team. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday for fantasy baseball:
Brandon Webb – Earliest return date is late-May. Still a long season so you can’t really sell him short, but with the trouble coming in his right shoulder, I’d be worried this doesn’t become a worst situation before it gets better.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Ryan Doumit went from sleeper to 2nd tier fantasy catcher last year after he managed to take a year off from his Glass Joe impersonation that dogged him throughout 2006-2007 (2006 = 89 games missed w/ hamstring issues, 2007 = 26 games missed with wrist, and then 20 games with ankle). Actually, he missed 27 games last year with thumb (20), concussion ( 5 ) and the flu (two separate days), so even when he’s healthy he’s “merely a flesh wound” away from the DL. He’s now out for 8-10 weeks. Punt! (Or stash him on your DL if it’s empty.) I’d look at Baker, Salty, Shoppach or Hundley, all those names depend on league depth, of course. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ian Stewart – Has played 5 games in OF (3 started). He’s 5 games played away from OF eligibility in Yahoo!
Please, blog, may I have some more?Usually a pitcher’s third season in the bigs is the year they truly break out. Another factor to look for is their BB/9, is it trending downwards? Another factor, is K/9 trending upwards? WHIP heading down? Innings aren’t piling on too fast?
Please, blog, may I have some more?

