Fantasy Baseball Advice

We already went over the top 20 catchers for 2009 and the top 20 1st first basemen for 2009.  Today, it’s all about the top 20 2nd basemen.  The 2nd basemen pool is shallow (not as kiddie-sized as the shortstops, but we’ll get to them in the next post).  Because of this shallowivity (Made Up Word Of The Day!), the 2nd basemen rankings can be split up into two tiers.  The guys you want and the tomato-tomahto guys.  The Guys You Want’s names kinda give them away.  The Tomato-Tomahto Guys are a whole group of 2nd basemen that are so close to each other in rank, it really didn’t matter which one of them you owned.  At one time or another during the season, you probably dropped one of the Tomato-Tomahtos for a different Tomato-Tomahto.  Everyone probably has one Tomato-Tomahto guy that they hated during the season.  I have a few.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

1. Chase Utley – He was my choice for NL MVP in the preseason.  He’s going to be my 2010 NL MVP preseason selection.  Probably will be my 2011 preseason NL MVP choice and maybe my pick in 2012.  Then, one day when Pujols is not only hurt, but plays hurt, Utley will win it.  Preseason Rank #1, 2009 Projections:  105/29/105/.295/10, Final Numbers: 112/31/93/.282/23

2. Aaron Hill – Let’s get it out of the way upfront, there was some surprises in the 2nd basemen rankings.  We (or you) can sit there and say to yourself, “Gadzooks, Grey did a terrible job of ranking the 2nd basemen.”  First, who says gadzooks?  Are you in a comic strip?  Second, no one ranked Aaron Hill, Ben Zobrist, Marco Scutaro, Adam Kennedy et al anywhere near the top fifteen coming into the season.  There’s the top guys and there’s the bottom guys at MI.  This is why I usually punt the middle and avoid middle infielders between rounds 7 and 15.  Either get a top one, or ignore and take a flier later.  More will be said on this in the offseason.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  103/36/108/.286/6

3. Robinson Cano -  Someone has a terrific season the previous year (Pedroia, Hamilton) and I pulled back for 2009.  A player craps the bed in the previous season (Robinson Cano) and I got excited about them for 2009.  This is the story of my life with women too.  Kick me in the nads and I’ll buy you steel-tipped boots.  Preseason Rank #8, 2009 Projections:  80/18/85/.310/3, Final Numbers:  103/25/85/.320/5

4. Brian Roberts – My predicted numbers weren’t that far off from where he ended up.  Didn’t like him in April of 2008, didn’t like him in April of 2009, I think I might like him a bit more in 2010 because he’s finally become predictable.  Predictable is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies.  Preseason Rank #6, 2009 Projections:  105/10/50/.285/30, Final Numbers:  110/16/79/.283/30

5. Ben Zobrist – Almost surprising as his season is his Christian faith (come on, his name is screaming for a mohel).  Everyone knows the good, so let’s look at the glass half empty.  17/52 and 11 steals with a .297 average in the 1st half.  In the 2nd half, 10/39 in 9 more at-bats.  Not terrible, just not as good.  His eligibility definitely helped offset the regression.   Nevertheless, it was there.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  91/27/91/.297/17

6. Ian Kinsler – It’s great to finally see what he’s capable of over an entire season.  He’s a liability on average, plus speed and nearly as solid as Utley elsewhere.  Preseason Rank #2, 2009 Projections:  110/23/80/.280/25, Final Numbers:  101/31/86/.253/31

7. Dustin Pedroia – This was the season I was worried about when I advised people (that’s you!) to stay away from Pedrioa.  Was 2009 a terrible season?  No, I never thought for one second he’d be terrible.  I just didn’t buy into him as a 2nd round pick and a repeat of his MVP season.  Preseason Rank #5, 2009 Projections:  110/15/75/.310/15, Final Numbers:  115/15/72/.296/20

8. Brandon Phillips – For some reason, no one seems to trust Phillips.  20/20 for three seasons straight and he gets no respect.  Whatevs, I’ll keep owning him since no one else wants to.  Preseason Rank #3, 2009 Projections:  90/25/80/.270/25, Final Numbers:  78/20/98/.276/20

9. Asdrubal Cabrera – With a swift kick to the nuts, the tomato-tomahto portion of the program begins.  It didn’t really matter which of these guys you owned, they were all productive at some points during the season and yawnstipating at other times.  Preseason Rank #21, 2009 Projections:  90/12/60/.275/10, Final Numbers:  81/6/68/.308/17

10. Marco Scutaro – If you would’ve told me in February there would be two Blue Jay 2nd basemen in the top 10, I would’ve punched you in the mouth.  MAR…co… SCUT…aro… had a decent season for a guy that probably wasn’t even owned in your league for a third of the season and returned from Asia with pasta.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  100/12/60/.282/14

11. Adam Kennedy – Gene Rayburn, “2nd base is so shallow…”  You, “How shallow is it?”  Kennedy had only a good May and September and he’s ranked 11th overall.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  65/11/63/.289/20

12. Felipe Lopez -  You would think a guy whose ADP was 213 and who is ranked this high would have been a huge success.  You’d be dead wrong.  So many times I wanted to cut the Fe-Lopezian tubes, then he’d go and have a 1-for-3 game with 1 Run and I’d hold him.  Ugh, he had one of the more frustrating seasons.  How does he only steal 6 bases all year?!  Ryan Howard stole 8 bases!  Preseason Unranked, but he did make the Cheap Alternatives post, Final Numbers:  88/9/57/.310/6

13. Jose Lopez – I usually go with speed at MI, but, if you needed power there, J. Lo turned in a perfectly respectable season.  I would’ve taken his season over F. Lo any day of the week and twice on Muesday.  Preseason Rank #10, 2009 Projections:  80/15/85/.280/5, Final Numbers:  69/25/96/.272/3

14. Alexei Ramirez – When you’re ranked within sneezing distance of Luis Castillo, I hope you get Swine Flu.  Ramirez had one good month (May, 7 homers, 2 steals while batting .283) and 4 yawnstipating months.  How does he only steal 4 bases from June 19th on?  I think I’ve found my first candidate of the offseason that I won’t be drafting on any teams in 2010.  No matter what stories come out of spring training. Alexei has never seen the ball this well before! Alexei gained 120 of muscle mass! Alexei can go to hell.  Preseason Rank #4, 2009 Projections:  95/22/90/.285/15, Final Numbers:  71/15/68/.277/14

15. Maicer Izturis – Maicer, what goes on?  Maicer…  It’s funny all the people ending the season at exactly .300 or just over it.  Don’t make me get Vin Scully to recount the story of how Ted Williams started both sides of a doubleheader while sitting on .400 for the season.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  74/8/65/.300/13

16. Alberto Callaspo – I liked him in the preseason, but even with that like, I couldn’t generate the enthusiasm to draft him anywhere.  Let’s face it, his mother barely gets excited about his hitting.  Was also mentioned in that Cheap Alternatives thingamapost, Final Numbers:  79/11/73/.300/2

17. Luis Castillo – Please don’t make me say anything about Castillo.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  77/1/40/.302/20

18. Placido Polanco – Placido Polanco is Yoda to Callaspo’s Luke.  Can we just call these guys Polancallaspo?  Preseason Rank #14, 2009 Projections:  90/7/55/.310/7, Final Numbers:  82/10/72/.285/7

19. Dan Uggla – Even with how awful this list is, Aramis Ramirez, with 2nd base eligibility, would not have made this list.  Yes, 2nd base was deeper than 3rd base.  Bring back steroids!  Preseason Rank #7, 2009 Projections:  85/30/100/.255/5, Final Numbers:  84/31/90/.243/2

20. Clint Barmes – This is one of my big problems with the ESPN Player Rater (this is where these rankings come from; makes it less subjective).  I’d rank Barmes as the last guy you’d want and above all the tomato-tomahtos.  I don’t really mind the average, but his homers and steals were valuable.  This is how I ended up with Mark Reynolds on all my teams in 2009 and how I will probably have Barmes on some 2010 teams.  (This is not official yet, we’re still recapping.  Barmes needs an everyday job.)  Was ranked 20th as a Shortstop, 2009 Projections:  75/12/55/.270/12, Final Numbers:  69/23/76/.245/12

Before I cover Adam Lind (with words, not a blanket), I want to clear something up about these Thursday keeper posts.  I like Lind, but between him and, say, Hanley, it’s no contest.  I’m talking about potentially marginal keepers here.  Not slam dunks.  I could see some people worrying that Lind may not be able to repeat his 2009 season.  Contraire, Robespierre.  Adam Lind took a while to get going in the majors, but he’s always had this pedigree.  In five seasons of the minors, he had a .380 OBP and a .318 average.  In his fist full season of the majors where he’s actually seemed to be comfortable, he’s headed for a 30/95/.300 season.  Next year, he’ll be 27 and should be able to take a slight step forward.  Think 35/110/.310.  Also, he’s been batting third a lot recently.  If he can get off to a hot start next year like he did this year, he could cement his place in the three hole for the better part of the season, which will help his counting stats.  Have You Lost Your Flippin’ Mind predictions for 2010:  100/35/120/.310.  No steals, which is a shame, and no great shakes on his eligibility, but those numbers aren’t far off from 2nd round-type numbers.  (BTW, you’re reading a fantasy baseball site that alludes to Linda Ronstadt.  Don’t you feel dirty?)  Anyway, here’s some more fantasy baseball keepers for 2010:

Aaron Hill – Do I smell a theme? No, that’s lunch.  I mean, the Blue Jays. Ah, yes.  They smell like rotisserie chicken. No, that really is lunch.  Hill will only be 28 at the start of the 2010 season.  As I’ve been saying just about the whole season, I don’t think the 30+ homers this year is a fluke.  At second base, you can do much worse.

Andrew McCutchen – The Dread Pirate has 15 homer power and 35 steal speed.  Shane Victorino just called and said he wants his stats back.

Chris Davis was sent to the minors last night to make room for Josh Hamilton.  In the preseason, Bill James’s projections for Chris Davis were 107/40/118/.302/8.  I thought that was a tad optimistic.  And “tad optimistic” there is like saying, “Hey, this Ben Affleck movie might be okay.”  Those predictions and the proceeding hype sent Davis’s ADP through the roof.  To the point where I decided to punt 3rd base in all of my drafts and take Mark Reynolds.  I went over why in this preseason post.  Now I’m not saying I wasn’t at fault either.  Back in December, I said Davis was a sleeper when he was going after Zimmerman, Huff and Atkins.  When the hype picked up, I backed off.  Though I did give Davis pretty generous preseason numbers too at 75/30/95/.275/3.  But I have a fantasy baseball blog; I’m not Bill James.  I think someone should ping Bill James (the kids say ping, ask one what it means) and say, “Hey, Bill, big fan.  Lots of great stuff through the years.  Sorry to ping you this late, but a few quick rhetorical questions.  Chris Davis?  Seriously?  Did you not follow the ruler across the paper correctly on Pujols’s name?”  In the Better News Dept., David Murphy should get more time now that Davis is gone as Blalock moves to first.  Though I’m not sure how long Blalock can stay healthy playing that demanding of a position.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Psyche! Before we get into today’s roundup, I just wanted to say we have an announcement coming later in the 2nd post of the day.  Around 11:30 AM PST.  Make sure to check back later.  Some of you might enjoy it.  While others may say, “Meh.”  Okay, now for the roundup:

Scott Hairston – Traded to the A’s.  Not sure there could be more of a lateral movement for Hairston’s value.  Unless you’re in an NL-Only league and you lose his services to the best available option off waivers.  Then again, maybe that’s lateral too. The Padres got Craig Italiano — I hear he makes a great chicken parm — and Ryan Webb, no relation to Brandon.  If you’re not following, the Padres traded away their number three hitter for the stuff you find under your couch.

Will Venable – Will see more ABs with Hairston out of town.  This could actually hurt Venable’s value.

Kyle Blanks – Rudy Gamble’s brother from the same mother could also see more time.  Be nice to see The Pillsbury Fro Boy do something other than strikeout.  As far as his fantasy value, we already filled in the *pinkie to mouth* Blanks.

Scott Downs – Should be back any day now.  As always, I’d hold Frasor for the time being until Downs has shown he’s healthy.

Chien-Ming Wang - Something’s Wang.  Hehe.  Hit the DL.  Peace out, Wang.  Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

Ben Sheets – May not pitch this year.  No way!  C’mon!  Are you serious?  Crazy!

Dan Haren – 6 IP, 1 ER.  A good game and the Diamondbacks gave him runnage?  Wow.  Talk about a good day.  And I didn’t have any hodgepadres ruining my ERA yesterday.  Nice.

Joba Chamberlain – 3 2/3 IP, 3 ER and 8 unearned as he tied his owners to a WHIPing Post.  “Joba Rules” this year are a bunch of walks, unreliable from start to start no matter the matchup and unfulfilled promise.  Maybe that’s why he drinks and not, “Owen, you stupid poop!”

Ricky Nolasco – 8 IP, 0 ER, 12 Ks.  When I gave you the advice in mid-May to Buy Nolasco, I sure hope some of youse listened.

Derrek Lee – Another homer yesterday.  How dare you call me Lyle Overbay? But you kinda are just a rich man’s Lyle Overbay.  I’ll call you Thurston Overbay, the Third.

Jake Fox – HR yesterday.  Will be interesting to see how Sweet Lou flips the craft services table when Aramis returns today.

Randy Johnson – Left the game with a shoulder injury.  I foresee an abbreviated spring training comeback in 2010 and then he retires.

Rich Aurilla – HR yesterday.  I really thought he was retired.  I’m not even joking.  I’m not sure which is more despicable.  That Aurilla is holding the Giants hostage by not retiring or that the Giants don’t just release him.

Miguel Olivo – Hit his 13th homer.  Matt Wieters hit a homer too.  Natch!  Or is it reverse natch since I’m the one always cracking on his output?  Hmm… I got lost in my own natchs.

Grady Sizemore – 2 homers and one steal since his return as he bats .270.  Eh.

Cliff Lee – 6 IP, 3 ER.  Has a 3.45 ERA on the year.  That seems more in line with Lee than what we saw last year.

Gio Gonzalez – 6 IP, 2 ER. Doesn’t he sound like a haute couture jeans designer?  I wouldn’t bother with Gio Gonzalez in an 18-team league that only uses Oakland A’s players.

Adam Lind/Aaron Hill – Hit their 18th and 20th homers, respectively.  Lind bats .310 while Hill bats .299.  Still don’t see either as a sell high candidate, but that shizz is relative.  If you get the right deal, by all means.

Colby Rasmus – Hit his 10th homer as he bats .282.  Little late to the party now if you pick him up, but you could be doing a lot worst for your fourth or fifth outfielder.  I’m looking at you, Fred Lewis.

Chris Carpenter – 7 IP, 1 ER.  This is not to say Carp isn’t solid, but right now the Reds look like they’re facing the House Committee on Un-American Activities every time out.

Ross Ohlendorf – 5 IP, 5 ER.  Dorf!

Garrett Jones – Two Pirates mentioned in the same roundup.  Arghh, it’s raining doubloons!  Jones hit two homers in his last four games.  I don’t know where this schmohawk is headed, but right now he’s on one of my teams.  He may not last, but better to take the flier if you have room than to let someone else grab the hot rookie.  Remember, I gave you the same advice for The Dread Pirate about a month ago.  I’m still rocking him on one team. (He stole his 6th base yesterday as he bats .300).

Brandon Morrow – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 Ks.  Finally, six innings!  I picked him up in a 12 team league last week, but haven’t start him yet.  I’ll start him now.

Martin Prado – 4-for-4 as he starts every day.  If you owned Kelly Johnson, then I’m sure the Cox yanking was suprisingly unpleasant, but Prado can ease your pain.

Derek Lowe – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER.  Right now, he’s alternating between decent start and terrible.  Luckily, he gets the Rockies in Colorado next time out, so that’s an easy call to sit him.  Hopefully he’s back to a reliable starter after the ASB.

Jimmy Rollins – HR yesterday and is 7 for his last 15.  If he hits .400 over the next month, you’ll be glad you remained patient.

Joe Blanton – 7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 Ks.  He gets Pittsburgh next.  All aboard!

Nick Blackburn – 9 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks.  With a name only one letter off from a porn star with chlamydia, it’s easy to stay away, right?  I look at it this way.  There’s so many pitchers each week that are potential spot starters, even in deep leagues, that I just don’t want any part of a guy that has 51 Ks in just over 116 innings.

Casey McGehee – 3-for-4 yesterday.  On Saturday, he went 4-for-5 with a homer.  Okay, this is the last I’m mentioning him.  Fo realz.

Vladimir Guerrero – Two days, two homers.  Was he prematurely shipped off to the glue factory?  I don’t think so.  I’d still be looking to sell him.  Now you might actually find someone who believes he still has some giddy-up left.  In related news, Brian Roberts still has twice as many homers as Vlad the ‘97 Impala.

Howie Kendrick – Recalled and stole a base yesterday.  Here’s what I said two weeks before Kendrick was sent down to the minors, “What do the Angels do with a 2nd baseman who has 18 homers in 179 ABs in Triple-A?  Promote him and demote Howie Kendrick?  Or do the Angels promote Rodriguez, demote Kendrick, wait two weeks until Kendrick starts hitting in the Coors-like PCL and then promote Kendrick right back and demote Rodriguez again like they’ve been doing with Brandon Wood for the last three years?”  And that’s me blowing your mind!  Let me answer 15 comments right off the bat — Beckham, McGehee, Prado, Everth then Kendrick, in that order.

Andre Ethier – HR yesterday.  See, preggers Manny doesn’t even need to be in the lineup for Ethier to start hitting.  I’m half-joking.  This year Ethier’s been better in the power department than I thought he’d be, but I don’t buy that he’s suddenly going to be the .400 hitter we saw in the 2nd half last year just because Manny’s back.

Mark Reynolds – HR yesterday.  What else is new?  If any of you are fifteen-years-old, don’t vote for him for the All-Star Game.  We want him to be mad in the 2nd half.  Adrian slept with Clubber mad.  Eye of the Tiger!  Oh, and if you’re fifteen, don’t listen to your parents.  You won’t need geometry.  Though you may need to know how to say, “I don’t know how a dead prostitute got in my bed,” in Spanish.

A lot of starting pitchers have been traded by the A’s.  Some fare great (Haren), some have mixed results (Hudson), some collapse (Mulder).  But there has never been an ex-A’s starting pitcher that seems to miss the AL West as much as Chad Gaudin.  While he did get crushed @ LAA, his last 3 starts @SEA, home against SEA, and @TEX have netted 21 IP / 2-1 / 2.14 ERA / 0.76 WHIP / 28 Ks.  That’s a Peavian 12 K/9 IP with a K/BB ratio of 21:5.  We’ve had Gaudin on a couple of deep league teams since we love NL West pitchers and it’s been hard to recommend him because he’s been so damn wild.  But after these past three dominating starts (8+ Ks, 2 or less BBs), he’s a must pickup in any league format at this point.  Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Everth Cabrera – 3-for-8 this weekend, with one steal.  If you need steals, don’t wait until after the 3 steal game to grab him.  He may not be there.

Scott Hairston – 3-for-4 with a homer yesterday.  Okay, that’s the last Padres blurb.

Aaron Cook - Effectively hittable (8 IP, 9 H, 1 ER) and liftable (9 ground balls, 10 fly balls) against Oakland, he’s now won 5 in a row and given up just 1 ER in 4 of those games.  He’ll never be a fantasy ace so if you have 5 aces, don’t pick him up.  Otherwise, jump on him – especially if the matchup looks good.

Jose Valverde – Perhaps stunned that Russ Ortiz carried a 3-2 lead through 7 innings against a major league team, Valgreen’s blew the save with a 2-run HR to Brandon Inge.  You may have noticed LaTroy Hawkins earned the save on Saturday.  What does that add up to?  Eh, not much.  Valverde has a long leash and will be closer for the Astros unless he gets hurt, sucks it up big time, or gets traded.

Mark DeRosa – One of the most versatile players (2B, 3B, OF) is now playing for one of the most inventive managers (Tony LaRussa).  Plus, both their names refer to roses which seems romantic.  DeRosa’s expected to play most of his time at 3B but his first start saw him in LF.  For now, he’s batting 4th (right behind Pujols).  Wouldn’t be surprised to see him hit 2nd, 5th, or 6th in upcoming games.  One thing that’s safe for now is DeRosa will get his 5-6 starts a week….as long as he doesn’t impersotweet Tony L.

Khalil Greene – He was hot a little over a week ago, but he’s now 0-for his last 14.  He’s the best choice to bat 2nd?

Pablo Sandoval – 3 HRs between Friday and Saturday.  Stomach virus on Sunday.  That virus was probably living for years in that stomach before Pablo felt it.

Carlos Carrasco - Word is that the Phil-Phil may start Car-Car on Thursday against Atlanta.  He came into 2009 as the Phillies top pitching prospect (ahead of JA Happ) but his 4.92 ERA in 86 AAA IP in 2009 is a clear sign this is a callup out of necessity.  If you dig into his AAA stats, though, things look a bit brighter.  About 1 K an inning.  A BB rate under 3 per 9 inning.  His FIP is only 3.50.  His strand rate of 61.7% is awfully something – awfully unlucky, awfully bad or awfully telling that he can’t pitch out of the stretch.  We’d recommend giving him a game or two to prove himself before starting him (we’re still hurting from Hochevar) but if you need Ks in the worst way, go for it.

Eric Bruntlett – 1-for-11 this weekend.  Rollins went oh-for-no-he-didn’t.

Jamie Moyer – 5 IP, 4 ER, but earned his 252nd win to pass Bob Gibson on the all-time list.  Let the discussion now begin about who was a better pitcher — Gibson or Moyer.

Tommy Hanson – 6 IP, 0 ER. Only four baserunners vs. the Sawx.  Now he’s going to be the Cy Young!  Actually, prolly not.  He’ll still have some rookie hiccups.  (I abandoned prolly for probably for a few months to see if I could be taken more seriously by established media personalities like George Will and Ken Burns.  Since I can’t spell Pulitzer without Googling it, I’m going back to prolly! I may even apostrophize, “It’s okay” as S’okay.  Stay tuned!)

Jonny Gomes – Had a good run on all our teams this week with two homers.  Now he’ll return to platooning and we’ll drop him.

Brandon Phillips – 3-for-5, 3 Runs, 3 RBIs and his 11th steal.  Taking the slow boat to 20/20.   S’okay, as long as he stays healthy, he’ll get there.

Asdrubal Cabrera – Hehe.  Asdrubal’s back.   Hehe.

Aaron Hill – 2 HRs yesterday to bring his total to 19.  Could get to 30.  No reason you have to think at any moment the indigestion’s coming on.

Mike MacDougal – Got his third save for the Nats and started selling iced mochas just like McDonald’s.  But he spells mocha with a K.

Josh Willingham – 3-for-4 yesterday and .389 in the last week. You can grab ‘ham while he’s hot, but if you have an erection for longer than 4 hours after doing so, you may want to seek a doctor’s advice.

Andrew McCutchen – Has 2 steals and 5 Runs in the last week.  S’not terrible, but schmohawk behind door number three can probably give you the same.  The Dread Pirate should give you something in a trade though, so I’d explore those options. (I might rethink “S’not.”)

David Price – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER. But at what price? 5 walks.

Andrew Miller – 6 1/3 IP, 5 ER.  Miller’s like a boba that clogs your straw.  Just pull the straw out and shoot that oversized boba into the garbage.   It’ll choke you out.

Alfonso Soriano – His forties haven’t been kind to him. Yesterday, 2-for-4, no Runs scored or RBIs or steals.  It’s bad when that’s a good day.

John Danks – 7 IP, 0 ER. He’s at 4.08 ERA on the year with a 1.28 WHIP.  That sounds about right.  I don’t think he suddenly becomes a number one or two, but prolly a solid number 3.

Ryan Sadowski – 6 IP, 0 ER. He was a 4 ERA pitcher in Triple A, isn’t an overwhelming strikeout guy and walks hitters.  Sadowski is the new blech.

Francisco Liriano – 7 IP, 2 ER.  More impressively, he only walked two and one of those was Pujols.  The Cards, with the pitcher batting, aren’t exactly Murderer’s Row, more like Ripping A Tag Off A Mattress Row, but it’s a step in the right direction for Liriano.

Adrian Beltre – If you missed the news over the weekend, he’s going to be out for 2 months with shoulder surgery being performed by, oddly enough, an Angels’ doctor.  You think the Angels would’ve offered to work on Ichiro.  Beltre’s droppable outside of deep AL-Only leagues.

Jose Lopez – 3-for-4 and stole his first base of the season.  As of late, he’s one of the hottest hitters and should not be on waivers in any league.

Chien-Ming Wang – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks for his first Win on the season.  “If this is a breakthrough, color me bored.” — Appropriate here, but it’s also a quote from Thomas Edison’s overdemanding mother.

Mariano Rivera - 500th career save @ Metco and 1st career RBI (bases loaded walk against K-Rod).  If I owned the Mets, I would do three things.  1) Get Michael Jackson’s old hyperbaric chamber for Jose Reyes’s hamstring, 2) Change financial advisors, and 3) Campaign MLB to spread out the embarrassment of playing the Yanks to once every 4 years.

John Maine – Rehab is suspended because there’s a pinched nerve in Maine’s shoulder.  I once suffered from a pinched finger from a Maine lobster.  Which finger?  The same one that’s getting prepared to click the mouse in shallow leagues where I own Maine….

Matt Lindstrom hits the DL with a sore elbow and should be out at least 6 weeks.  He’s fine to drop if you don’t have DL room, since he may not be the closer when/if he returns.  Rudy and I were talking over IM when the news of Matt Lindstrom hitting the DL broke.  We looked at the options.  Dan Meyer or Leo Nunez?  Meyer is a lefty that has been handling righties well this year.  Nunez has posted ERAs of 3.18, 3.77, 6.43 in the first three months of the season and he just hurt his ankle on Tuesday.  We went with Meyer on all of our teams.  At worst, we have a guy who has pitched well.  A few hours later, Nunez said his ankle was fine.  If I had to do it over again, I would’ve went with Nunez because he’s probably first in line for saves.  SAGNOF, after all.  I’m holding Meyer for now just to see how this plays out.  So far, it’s played out with Meyer getting the first save.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Edinson Volquez – Almost a month after heading to the DL, Edinson has elbow inflammation.  This is obviously terrible news for his owners.  An arm setback after almost of a month hiatus usually means he’s not coming back for a while.

Homer Bailey – Should get the call on Saturday.  That call goes like this, “Hey, Dusty here.”  “This is Homer.”  “Simpson?”  “Bailey.”  “What’s up, Homer Bailey?”  “You called me.”  “Oh.”  Dusty puts down the phone at this point and makes Harang throw 200 warmup pitches.  Then Homer hears in the background Dusty telling Paul Janish to hang up the phone.  Bailey’s worth grabbing in NL-Only leagues.  I wouldn’t trust him in mixed leagues shallower than 15 team.  He’s fubar’d too many opportunities at this point to run out and grab him.  And if you do grab him, don’t start him.

Jonny Gomes – HR yesterday as he fills in for Beltran on three of our teams.  (The “our” is for Rudy.)

Aaron Hill/Adam Lind – Both homered, 16th and 15th, respectively.  I feel like I answer lots of trade questions about getting rid of these guys.  Why does everyone want to lose them?  Afraid of happiness?  They’re solid.  Rios or Hill?  Hill.  Lind or Markakis?  Markakis, but not really by much and Lind can out perform him.  30/100 is nothing to sneeze at.  Unless you’re allergic to productive outfielders.

Brad Lidge – Should return today, I’d hold Ryan Madson for the time being, because Lidge has been ready to pitch in 28 games so far this year and has a 7.27 ERA.

Kenshin Kawakami – Was hit with a linedrive to the side of his neck.  Should be fine, according to his doctors that are located over the *pinkie to mouth* Throbs Neck Bridge.

Evan Longoria – Left with moans over his hammy.  He said he’ll be back by Thursday.

Pat Burrell – Hit his 2nd homer of the year.  2nd homer?  That’s awful.  Hopefully, he hasn’t been clogging up too many of your teams.  The good news is if he’s on waivers he gets very hot for stretches.  Could hit 10 homers in the next month.

Matt Garza – 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks vs. Phils.  Last two starts, he couldn’t get through the 6th inning and gave up 4 and 3 runs, respectively.  When Garza pitches, you know you’re going to get something.  What something is a whole different ballgame.

Joe Blanton – 7 IP, 2 ER, 10 Ks.  Yeah, and I had Wolf going all over the place giving up five runs to the White Sox.  Fantasy Baseball, Aggravating you for over twenty years.

Rich Harden – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 3 Ks, 4 walks.  I’ve never been a fan of Harden.  But I wasn’t a fan of the when-healthy-extremely-effective Rich Harden.  Who is this Rich Harden?  This isn’t him.

David Ortiz – HR yesterday.  I’m willing to admit it, he’s back.  Now you’re still up against a guy who has no position eligibility.  That kills your team’s flexibility.  You see a hot hitter on waivers?  With Ortiz at UTIL, you’ll have no place to put him.

Grady Sizemore – 2nd game back, first homer.  Great sign!  Then again, he hit a homer the day before he went on the DL.  Damn you, half empty glass.

Zach Duke – 6 IP, 1 ER.  Has a 3.09 ERA on the year.  Zoinks!

Adam LaRoche – 3-for-4, 11th homer, 2nd steal, 1 cat saved from a burning building.

Nick Evans – HR yesterday as he got the start at first.  Makes sense for the Mets to give the kid starts over Tatis, not sure if he’ll continue to start over Murphy though.  He may find himself in a platoon of sorts and hurting his breakout potential.  He does have solid pop and a decent eye.  Other than NL-Only keepers, it’s a bit early to be looking at him.

Ricky Nolasco – 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks.  I won’t go as far to say he’s fully back, but I will say he seems fully back.  Modified!

Nick Blackburn – 8 IP, 3 ER, 12 baserunners, 2 Ks.  41 Ks/26 BBs on the year with a 3.11 ERA.  You are a statistical anomaly!

Miguel Olivo – Another homer yesterday.  Has something like 20 homers this month.

Josh Fields – 2 HRs yesterday.  That’s one homer for each start he’s had in the last ten days.

Gavin Floyd – 6 IP, 1 ER.  I hope someone’s riding this wave so I can live vicariously, because I don’t own him in any league. (<–Not by choice.)

Frank Francisco – Being eased back into the closer role.  They ease much longer and he’s going to be back on the DL before he gets another save.

Brandon Morrow – Threw 2 innings three starts ago, 3 innings two starts ago, then 4 innings one start ago.  Guess how many yesterday?  Yup, 5.  Anyone want some action on how many he’s going to throw next time out?

Vladimir Guerrero – Hit his 2nd homer yesterday.  Now only two behind the Subaru pace car of Abreu.

Everth Cabrera – Newest shortstop-schmohawk-SAGNOF guy.  Definitely worth a flier if you need steals.

Vicente Padilla – After a typical start, after a 7 IP, 1 ER start.