Clayton Kershaw went 4 and two-thirds innings, giving up three earned and 11 baserunners. Six of those ducks on the pond were walks. That’s 1-2-3-4-5-6 walks. Versus the Pirates. A team that had a .318 OBP last year. Sure, this year they’re starting with Robot Jones, “I must kill the Queen,” but c’mon. How did I convince myself a pitcher who can’t get through 5 innings was a good idea? I blame all of you. Someone should of said something. And if you did say something, you should used more exclamation marks or a bigger font. This is not your beautiful wife, this is not your beautiful house, this is a pitcher who walks the ballpark. On the bright side — and let’s face it, we need a bright side since not all of us live on the first floor — Kershaw was very bad last April too. He’ll get better. Or at least I keep telling myself that. Convincing, right? No, really he will. Right? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Aaron Cook – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 5 Ks. Can you smell what the Cook is rocking? Smells like Dwayne Johnson’s movie career. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chris Carpenter went five innings giving up no runs, allowing 4 baserunners, adding in 6 Ks, driving in 6 runs and five golden… rings. 12 runs for the Cards, but everyone was a ticker tease, except for Carpenter who pitchslapped Kip Wells. LaRussa’s mind must be swimming with ideas….Do I hit him 8th? 7th? Do I platoon him with Ankiel in the OF and have Ankiel come in for intentional walks? Do I go with a Singapore Sling or an Old Fashioned? Why is Dave Duncan looking at me? Is my fly open? How come no one read my book, Tonyball? If I’m facing East, my hair should be facing West! Why is it going South?! If homeless people have no homes, why do they lug around so much junk? Homeless people shouldn’t be pack rats!… Wow, there’s a lot swimming in Tony’s mind. Interesting to peek into the mind of a genius, ain’t it? Surprised he didn’t mention this is the last roundup of the year. Ho-hum, so sad. There will still be a new post every week day through the fall and winter, so check your separation anxiety at the door. I’m still here. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Scott Baker – 5 IP, 0 ER. His FIP last year was 3.79. This year it was near 4. So he was .20 off of last year. He throws around 7 Ks per 9 innings. So he’s good for about 155 Ks. His Post-All-Star Break ERA was 3.39. Guess what I’m saying is I’m going to predict next year he’ll pitch around a 3.75 ERA, good WHIP and solid Ks and he’ll be someone to look at as a third fantasy starter with number two upside and number four downside. And in three months, I’ll quote that. Please, blog, may I have some more?
David Wright was released from the hospital yesterday after tests showed that he was okay from Saturday’s beaning. When he first went down, the Mets had some serious concerns when Wright couldn’t answer straightforward questions like, “Who’s our starting shortstop?” “Who plays 1st?” “Who’s the shirtless guy hiding in Jerry Manual’s locker?” Wright might be out for the season. Probably be the best thing that could happen to his fantasy owners. The wait for his power to return can finally end. Though I wouldn’t drop him in one year leagues until it’s official he’s not returning, unless room on your DL is spare. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Nick Johnson – Left with a hamstring injury. He seemed to be in good spirits after the game, smiling in locker room pictures. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tim Hudson is on track to make a rehab start. If all goes well, and that if is ginormous, then he can return to the Braves for their failed chase for the Wild Card. Recovering from Tommy John is usually the same no matter what, shorty. Pitchers usually return to three-quarters of their former selves or they can become seven-fifths of their former selves, which is to say they can be better. Though they’re not usually better when they are first reactivated. They usually return slightly less than three-quarters. If you’re half as confused by those fractions as I am writing them, let me break it down to you, nice and simple like Minnie Pearl. Tim Hudson’s worth stashing on your DL for matchups, but the upside is merely usable in 12 team leagues. Don’t expect miracles. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Scott Baker – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER. He shows you some solid starts, then he shits your house. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Justin Upton heads to the DL with an oblique injury. For those reading, who just got out of a time machine from the 80s, no one has any idea what an oblique is. And stop wearing Cavariccis. Upton will probably be out more than the required 15 days, because these oblique injuries that no one has ever heard of are tricky. With the Baby Backs out of every race outside of The Greatest 3rd Baseman To Ever Grace the Human Race Race, they’re not going to rush Upton. Does this hurt you to hear? It’s not my intention. But just don’t expect anything until September from Upton. On the bright side, now you have room for Will Venable. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Mark Reynolds – HR yesterday then he was removed with a sore thumb. It doesn’t seem to be anything to worry about. Mini-donkeys get sore thumbs apparently. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jason Bay has been terrible. Like Don Mattingly’s wife in a mugshot terrible. In June, J-Bay hit .230 and 4 homers, but he was hitting the cover off the ball in June compared to July. In July, he’s hitting .203 with 1 homer. This month Garrett Jones has hit more homers during REM sleep. The optimist in me says Bay will hit 15 homers and .300 the rest of the way with ten steals. The pessimist in me thinks he’ll be benched in favor of Chris Duncan. The realist looks at all of his splits and sees a guy that has been consistent throughout his career, minus a season (2007) when he was battling knee problems. The surrealist in me thinks Bay will hit a line drive up the middle that will ricochet off the pitcher and shoot to the 1st baseman who will smack the ball into center, then the ball will slowly roll back towards the infield until God tilts the field and the ball rolls towards the 3rd baseman, but God tilts too far and the field freezes causing the ball to roll back towards the catcher. In all likelihood, Bay’s 2nd half should be somewhere in the realist realm (though it would be cool if the surrealist was spot-on). I think Bay can give you 10+ homers, .280 average and a handful of steals. Right now, I’m actively trying to acquire him in one league. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Erik Bedard – Back to the DL. In related news, George Sherrill was an All-Star in 2008, Adam Jones in 2009 and Chris Tillman is about to be called up. Please, blog, may I have some more?
On July 16th, Padres GM, Kevin Towers, said there’s a 50-50 chance that Jake Peavy would pitch again. Turned out there was a 50-50 chance that he was lying. On July 16th, Peavy’s boot came off and his ankle is healthy. Peavy now says he’ll pitch again this year. Oh, okay. Peavy is the Padres ace, i.e., they’re not going to mess with bringing him back to make sure they win 60 games instead of 58. Please, blog, may I have some more?
A lot of starting pitchers have been traded by the A’s. Some fare great (Haren), some have mixed results (Hudson), some collapse (Mulder). But there has never been an ex-A’s starting pitcher that seems to miss the AL West as much as Chad Gaudin. While he did get crushed @ LAA, his last 3 starts @SEA, home against SEA, and @TEX have netted 21 IP / 2-1 / 2.14 ERA / 0.76 WHIP / 28 Ks. That’s a Peavian 12 K/9 IP with a K/BB ratio of 21:5. We’ve had Gaudin on a couple of deep league teams since we love NL West pitchers and it’s been hard to recommend him because he’s been so damn wild. But after these past three dominating starts (8+ Ks, 2 or less BBs), he’s a must pickup in any league format at this point. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Everth Cabrera – 3-for-8 this weekend, with one steal. If you need steals, don’t wait until after the 3 steal game to grab him. He may not be there. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Okay, now picture you’re a Mets fan who was in a coma for three months and you just looked at the starting lineup. You’d be like, “Jeremy who? Cora what? Tatis huh? Why are the Mets playing a split squad game in June?” Um, yeah. Listen, Comatose Mets fan, you might want to sit down. Carlos Beltran hit the DL yesterday with a sore knee. The Mets are saying Beltran should be back in two weeks. Yeah, and Reyes will be back three weeks ago. At this point, you really can’t do anything but wait for Beltran to return. Hopefully, there’s some decent outfielders on waivers for you to grab in the interim. I grabbed David Murphy and Jonny “Hey, Khalil give me back my H” Gomes. Gomes should be the Reds DH for interleague so he should get starts for a week, then I’ll need to look elsewhere. Jake Fox is a decent play in interleague, as well. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ervin Santana – Went to the Disgraceful List. No way! Come on! Really? Shocker! Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chris Davis has 42 Ks in 88 ABs. That’s a pace of about 300 Ks. Not sure he gets there, but Mark Reynolds should be worried about his strikeout record. Back when I called Chris Davis a poor man’s Mark Reynolds, everyone and there’s Momma’s boyfriend wanted some Davis action. Back in June of 2008, when Davis was called up, I said, “(It) doesn’t mean he will strikeout 250 times and hit 50 HRs, but it gives you a bit of an idea of what kind of player he is.” Actually, he may strikeout 250 times. And that’s me quoting me linking to me and correcting me! I’m not saying any of this to push people to trade him away, but I think a lot of people thought they were getting a .300 hitter in Davis. He’s not. Average is a bit of a fluky thing, but, with the way Davis is striking out, he’s looking like a .240-.250 hitter. I still think as the weather heats up the homers will be flying, but check your expectations. Anyway, here’s what we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Grady Sizemore – Sizemore got caught stealing for the 4th time yesterday in 9 tries. Last year he only was caught 5 times out of 44 tries. Grady hasn’t had this much trouble getting to 2nd base since he was a sophomore in high school and was still being ridiculed as Gravy Friesmore. Please, blog, may I have some more?