And the Tigerettes sang, “He was talked up as closer, but now he’s sent down… Da Bruce Rondon gone, Da Bruce Rondon… Somebody told me he made Leyland frown… Da Bruce Rondon gone, da Bruce Rondon… Yeah, he sucked in spring… Yes, his stats would sting… But now my team’s saves are boned… Da Bruce Rondon gone, Da Bruce Rondon…” As Randy Jackson would say, we got ourselves a pitchy competition, dawg! *sips from Pepsi cup, looks at Mariah for approval, fixes silver chain, sucks in gut under sweater that he’s wearing with no undershirt which makes it look really itchy, laughs at some Nicki Minaj nonsense, says to Seacrest, “I don’t know, we’ll have to see what America thinks” and smiles* So, Bruce Rondon was sent down and now the Tigers closer job is Hollywood Week. Auditions are down to Al Al’etc, Santa K, New Mexiclosero, Al Al, Coke Is It, Coke Is So 80′s Octavio Dotel Is It, Alquin Cokel, Octaquin BenCokel and Philquin Alburcoke. And that’s only four guys! Hang tight, guys and four girl readers, it’s a closerousel. Lots of possible outcomes here. All four guys could do well in a committee and Leyland utilizes it the whole year. Two guys do well and we get a portmanteau closer, let’s call it a SAGNOFtaur. Three guys could do well, let’s call that, The Three StoogeNOF. Another possibility: as we know from the past with Leyland’s ‘Set it and Forget It’ lineup card management, he likes to stick with one thing. So one guy takes the job by mid-April and holds it for the majority of the year. This is the best possibility for all involved. I think that’s also what happens. Leyland’s got cigarettes to smoke, he doesn’t have time to be walking to the mound to change pitchers! So who from Octavio Dotel, Al Alburquerque, Joaquin Benoit and Phil Coke does he go with? As the prude brothel’s sign announces, therein lies the rub. Al Al’etc is a monster for Ks, he’s my first option because he could provide solid value while the job is being decided. Then, I like Dotel. He reduced his walks last year and kept his Ks. He also has some closer experience. Next up: Joaquin Benoit. He was very successful last year in middle relief, but he can’t go on back-to-back days or stay healthy. Finally, Phil Coke. I wouldn’t grab him outside of AL-Only leagues. Big strike against him: he’s a lefty. In his favor: he closed games in the playoffs last year. It’s a shituation of epicloser proportions. Oh, and I wouldn’t grab more than one guy. I’d take a gamble on one guy, form a prayer rectangular and hope it works out. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hey, I’m Higgins and I’m going to be posting updates about our Fantasy Razzball leagues. If you are not familiar with Fantasy Razzball, it is a league format where us truly masochistic fantasy baseballers try to build the worst fantasy baseball team possible.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Cliff Lee gave the line 8 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 10 Ks to move his record to 6-7 in 190 innings. That’s to go with a 3.27 ERA and a 1.13 WHIP. If you had 7 wins as his over/under for the year with a full season of starts and without him being traded midseason to the Astros, you might win yourself a lot of money.Please, blog, may I have some more?
A few days ago Zack Greinke hinted that he liked the Angels organization, and praise them, Anaheim made it happen, pulling off perhaps what will be the biggest trade of the season. They acquired the Greinkster for three prospects: shortstop Jean Segura and pitchers Johnny Hellweg and Ariel Pena.Please, blog, may I have some more?
What happened to baseball? It was here, then we were put to sleep by that snoozefest they call the all-star game. Now, I don’t know about you, but the all-star break is like sports hell; best option to watch was the WNBA, really. I actually started a puzzle, that’s how bored I was.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Chicago White Sox started a three game series with the Yankees last night and came up with a huge win. Jose Quintana pitched 6.0 innings, gave up 8 hits, 6 ER, 5 Ks, and got the win. As far as starts at Yankee Stadium go, this one could have been a lot worse.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s back again, but this time for longer. No, you won’t need any ointment, it’s just interleague play. It starts at the tail end of this week and continues into week 12. I am still not a fan for fantasy porpoises.Please, blog, may I have some more?
News comes that Dustin Pedroia might need surgery on his knee that could sideline him for at least a month. Knee surgery sounds like something that sidelines people for multiple months, even Sparky Anklebiters. Though sometimes Sparky Anklebiters can get so amped with leave-it-all-on-the-fieldness that they lose sight of the big picture and rush back too soon. You know, they try to chew through the cone around their head and don’t heal properly. We know you’re scrappy, Dustin, stop biting on your paw! If he rushes and comes back in July, then he could miss a few more weeks with a setback. Basically, what I’m saying is, you want him to just get sidelined for two months and come back healthy in August. It’s not like what he was giving you now can’t be replaced. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Anthony Rizzo – The San Diego Padres have something to be excited about. No, Tony Gwynn didn’t announce he’s becoming a competitive eater. No, they didn’t put a giant afro on the Western Metal Supply Co.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brian Duensing continued his hellish streak with an 8 inning 1 ER, 7 K game. While he was able to strikeout 7 of the peasant Royals, his K rate has been around 5 per 9 inning for the past three years in the minors and majors. You know how many great pitchers get by with that type of K-rate? None. Though sometimes a pitcher can sell their soul for a year (see Scott Feldman 2009). Doesn’t mean you can’t throw some caution to the wind. When I was going over the borderline starter post that is coming later today, I noticed Duensing still isn’t owned anywhere. He has a 2.02 ERA in 107 2/3 IP. Seriously, you can look it up if you want… Though that might hurt the trust we’ve built over the summer. We used to be so carefree, me and you. Frolicking through dandelions, playing catch with that raccoon carcass. What about those times we had?Please, blog, may I have some more?
I am slightly distracted now that the World Cup has started. I know you’ll say, “Smokey, Americans don’t watch soccer.” True, but you should. The game yesterday between the U.S and England had more money wagered on it than the Super Bowl and will be watched by more people worldwide.Please, blog, may I have some more?