Yesterday was a bad day to quit being young with A.J. Pollock and Carlos Gomez both hitting the DL.  Together!  In a non-gay way.  But it would’ve been totally cool with me if it was in a gay way.  Let’s start with Pollock since he is the less ethnically sensitive of the two.  Pollock has a Grade 1 groin strain.  When the strain happened, Pollock was reading Groin Strains for Dummies.  Chapter 1:  Don’t Move Your Leg In A Normal Manner.  “Go to a trampoline, but don’t jump on it with your feet, fall on it sitting criss-cross apple sauce.”  Pollock will likely be out for two to three weeks, and in his place the Russian Game of Thrones character, Gregor Blanco, and Reymond “You Can’t Not Think Of Daisy” Fuentes.  Fuentes is the more interesting of two, since he should be on the stronger side of a platoon, and has speed.  Outside of NL-Only and deep mixed leagues, I’m passing on both.  As for CarGomez, he will miss four to six weeks.  That’s too bad, he used to be good three years ago.  Replacing him on the roster will be Jared Hoying, who looks like a Motter-fodder.  Then, we have Carlos Carrasco, who is affectionately known as Cookie, and I am a Cookie Monster for him, so this one hurts me.  In yesterday’s game, Carrasco had a huge lead, when he squandered that and left the game with a trainer.  All you had to do with cruise to the W on the Ivictory Coast!  Apparently, that’s the way the Cookie crumbles.  He was diagnosed with left pectoral tightness, which doesn’t sound bad.  Which, Part 2:  The Return of the Which, will still likely mean a DL stint.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, on the holiest of Hallmark-created holidays and celebrated most of all by Bill Hall, mothers from all different backgrounds came together to put up their feet, sip mimosas and talk about how “The Handmaid’s Tale” could totally happen now with Trump.  I’d contend that Hallmark should get a little credit for women’s rights.  Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Secretary’s Day, “Buy a card just because you love her” Day… Before this, it was, “Do you wanna make this pelt I skinned into a rug or a sweater for little Kevin?  What?  You’re tired from churning butter?  Okay, you can have the afternoon after you make beef and kidney pie.”  In honor of Mother’s Day, one of the great lovers of women (who are handcuffed to his bedpost), Aroldis Chapman was diagnosed with rotator cuff inflammation, and will be sidelined for a month.  If Dellin Betances is available in your league, can I get into your league?  If there’s an entry fee, all the better.  You pay it, and we’ll split the cash prizes.  I even grabbed Tyler Clippard in one league just in case Betances gets all Cuddle Boy on us.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

George Springer ($3,600) has always had power. He can do things with a baseball that few can do. He’s hit balls over 115 mph, hits balls over 460 feet and averages 31 homers per 162. He’s pretty good. The best ball he’s probably ever hit, however, is probably one just a few people have seen. He was 18, and it was on a June day in 2008 for his summer travel team at Baseball Heaven in Yaphank, NY. The pitcher (and I won’t name names, to protect the innocent) threw him a pitch and he hit a tank to dead center, over the trees and onto the entrance way of the facility. According to Google Earth the bomb Springer hit, and the picture is below, was ~526 feet. A scout who was in attendance said, “I’ve scouted many thousands of baseball games in the past many years and I’ve never seen a home run hit harder or farther.” Springer gets to face Jordan Montgomery, who is a fly ball pitcher (40.5% GB rate) who doesn’t miss that many bats (7.68 projected K/9) and walks guys (projected 3.77 BB/9). Oh yeah, Springer is also likely to bat leadoff.

On to the picks as soon as that Springer bomb lands…

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

Greetings and salutations!  The Collector here once again welcoming you to a amazing Wednesday slate over on FanDuel.  We have quite a few pitchers to use today, but I’m going to focus on my boy Yu Darvish at $11,200.  He’s one of my favorite pitchers in the game right now, as I love his stuff and wish/hope he’d stay healthy.  Darvish’s K/9 is down a bit this year, but I expect it to start rise back to his career norm and this is the start it begins to do so.  Today he gets the really good San Diego Padres… San Diego let AJ Griffin get a complete game shut out yesterday, that’s how good they are. This seems very easy to me and even though it’ll be popular, I think you need to go with Darvish today.

Now on to the picks…

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care! 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I had the occasion to travel to Montreal this week. I live a mere two-hour train ride away, but visiting Montreal always feels like entering a different country. Suddenly, you’re surrounded by French. You can get the best bagels <looks defiantly at New York>. People are Paris-elegant. All the boys are still wearing man-buns, because dear God they are still pulling it off. Also, suddenly, there’s no Blue Jays on the telly: in Montreal, they’re (wistfully) all about the Washington Nationals. It’s partly a TV rights thing, partly a geography thing, but also partly because, of course, the Nats used to be the Montreal Expos. So all that to say (at last! The point!), this week I got to watch a fair bit of the Diamondbacks versus Nats series. The Nats ultimately ran away with it, but Arizona, second-place run leaders, were so fun to watch. I’m looking forward to tracking them in Colorado this weekend and I’m going to hoard as many Diamondbacks and Rockies bats in my FanDuel lineup as I can today (spoiler alert: not many — they’re pricey. [Shocker!]), and find ways to plug up the gaps. That said, in case you’re looking to pursue a strategy that may be a little different from mine, Boston and Baltimore bats should make for good picks versus Nick Tepesch and Dylan Covey, respectively. Without further Machado, let us unveil the crystal ball (because really this is a crap shoot, isn’t it?) and see what the future holds.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?




I apologize in advance for the rushed post this week, but due to natural circumstances, I’ve got about ten minutes to put this puppy together. That’s not including the hour or so it takes to calculate all the numbers I need to figure everything out. In week 4 Ryan Zimmerman scored a total of 51 points. Ryan Zimmerman? That’s right. Zimmerman hasn’t been fantasy relevant since 2013, but his best year was back in 2009. I wrote about him yesterday, and today I’m going to plagiarize myself.

“Among players with at least 40 plate appearances, Ryan Zimmerman has the best points per plate appearances (1.18). This number will vary from league to league based on its scoring system, but regardless, he’s up there. If I said I saw this coming I’d be lying. And even though I’m comfortable with lying, I still can’t say I saw this coming. If it were me I’d sell high. He’s bound to find his way onto the gloriously overused 10-day DL. But as Grey would say, I wouldn’t sell him for a used Squatty Potty and a pack of wet wipes, but I’d certainly explore my options.” -malamoney

Ten people picked Zimmerman, including the winner. After Zimmerman, Trea Turner posted 48 points. And then Daniel Murphy and Hernan Perez each scored 39. Seven people, including the winner, picked Turner. Twenty-one people, once again including the winner, picked Murphy. That means that the winner picked the top three players for the week. That’s a perfect score. There isn’t, but there should probably be a bonus for doing so. I guess winning will have to suffice. No one picked Perez.

The unanimous winner of week four was Denhusk with 138 points. Congratulations on an awesome week and welcome to the playoffs. Out of curiosity, did you happen to get your hands on a legit copy of Grays Sports Almanac?

Here are the top five finishers from Week 4:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Another week, another contest. Another contest, another winner. But before I announce who won week 3, let’s find out which batters accrued the most points. Scoring 43 points, Freddie Freeman and Bryce Harper led the way. Since Harper is an Unpickable, Mr. Freeman stands alone. In 29 plate appearances Double F hit four home runs, drove in six, scored seven and stole one. He also farted 42 times. Now there’s a stat you can only get at Razzball. On the season Freeman is batting .380 with seven homers, and is tied with Mike Trout at 85 points. Somehow he only has ten RBIs, but I’ll leave that statistical blackhole anomaly for a much more experience writer to tell you about…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m salivating about my hitters against Mr. Home run allowed Jered Weaver and his 84 MPH fastball in Chase Field.  Weaver has allowed a whopping seven home runs in twenty three innings this year.  But wait, he gave up 37 in 178 innings last year.  In fact, Mr. Weaver has given up 68 home runs in his last 360 innings.  And half of those innings have come in Angel stadium and Petco Park.  These are not home run havens, need I say more.  I should?  Well ok then.  Paul Goldschmidt ($4,300) has been hot hitting .522 with 2 homers in his last 7.  He’s 3 for 4 with a homer against Weaver and he loves home cooking at Chase.  Meanwhile, Jake Lamb ($3,800) has hit .293 this year with .333/.614 split against righties, and Lamb hit .291/.621 in the first half last year before he injured his hand.  Really, Dbacks galore so take your pick among Lamb, Goldy, A.J. Pollock, Chris Owings, David Peralta, and even Brandon Drury (if he’s not hobbled today; check those LUs).  Weaver will be giving, I promise.  There are other stacking targets like the Cards against Matt Latos, the high-powered Indians against Mike Fiers, or the obvious Coors stacks, but I still dream of a Jered matchup .  That 84 MPH heater against Senz’s at 94?  Is 84 MPH actually a heater?  Exactly.  This is why I dream of Weaver today.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s no denying that Madison Bumgarner works hard. Well, he plays even harder. So it should have come as no surprise when news broke that the San Francisco ace was placed on the disabled list after injuring his left shoulder in a dirt bike accident. Wait. You were doing WHAT? But why!? You can’t expect Madison to get his kicks doing regular pleb things like playing Xbox or frisbee golf, it’s gotta be EXTREME. Regardless, this is a huge blow for Giants fans and Bumgarner owners alike. Madison is sporting a 3.00 ERA, 1.07 WHIP and 28/4 K/BB rate through four starts and early reports suggest he is set to miss over two months. Bummer. But honestly, what do you want from the guy? For him to not participate in dangerous extreme sports on his days off? I mean, come on, his hands were tied. Ty Blach is set to fill in the interim. Blach and his just 21.2 innings of major league experience. Blach is a ground ball pitcher with just a 13.4% strikeout rate, so he’s probably not the answer to your Bumgarner woes. More like, Ty Blech, right? Lol. He is slated to take on the Dodgers next week, but if you’re feeling dangerous you’d likely be better off dirt biking than picking up Ty Blach outside of deep NL-Only leagues. Here’s hoping at the very least Bumgarner got some sick air.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In the 1700’s, magic meant going into an oven with raw meat and coming out wearing a hamburger as a hat.  That magic awed people, even though they had seen an oven and a hamburger before.  We’ve seen Thames before, and we’ve seen home runs before, but Eric Thames still feels like magic.  He is a modern day beef illusionist.  I will call him, David Copperfood.  Yesterday, Eric Thames went 3-for-4, 3 runs with his 7th homer, and 15th homer in the last four games, as he hits .405.  We go over Thames on the podcast that’s coming later today, but, damn, I wish I owned him everywhere.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?