In the 1700’s, magic meant going into an oven with raw meat and coming out wearing a hamburger as a hat. That magic awed people, even though they had seen an oven and a hamburger before. We’ve seen Thames before, and we’ve seen home runs before, but Eric Thames still feels like magic. He is a modern day beef illusionist. I will call him, David Copperfood. Yesterday, Eric Thames went 3-for-4, 3 runs with his 7th homer, and 15th homer in the last four games, as he hits .405. We go over Thames on the podcast that’s coming later today, but, damn, I wish I owned him everywhere. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
“Is this Men on the Move Moving Company? Great. I have a small problem. Okay, it’s not small. But it is a problem. I have a ‘hype sleeper’ sitting here and I’m trying to move sixteen posts in front of it. You can handle the job? That’s great! Can I get hyphens between each post too? I can? Wow, you guys are lifesavers.” *comes in to see* Hype-hype-hype-hype-hype-hype-hype-post-sleep-hyper. What the hell is this?! I wanted sixteen posts in front of hype sleeper! Not this gobbledygook! So, Taijuan Walker flashed some of that post16-hype sleeper business last night — 9 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 11 Ks — to lower his ERA to 4.28. It was an easy matchup (vs. Angels), but it still showed why year after year I keep going back to Walker. He is talented. Can anyone say seventeen posts for 2017? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I was all about some of that young prospect snell early in the season, ranking Blake Snell within my top-75 preseason ranks. He destroyed the Minors in 2015, then was a little iffy when he hit the Majors for the first time. HE’S AWFUL FOREVER! As we see 95% of the time, initial failure means a prospect is forgotten, even if they start putting up solid numbers a month or two later.
And such was the case for Snell, who had a 3.86 ERA over his first 5 starts (passable), but a horrific 20:15 K:BB and a WHIP close to 2.00. He’s no Trevor Rosenthal! That aforementioned success in the Minors came with some control issues as well, so it stood to reason he might need a little more refinement. On top of that, I watched a few of his starts and his stuff looked a little too “loopy” for me. I have no idea if that makes sense… But it looked like a lot of huge rolling movement, with nothing crisp, ala a Corey Kluber or Jake Arrieta cutter. Just very bendy.
Things have gotten a lot better lately though, with a 24:11 K:BB heading into yesterday’s start against the Yanks in 24 innings. As such a highly regarded prospect and with good pure stuff that I think just needed that little extra “umpf” of crispness, I bought in heavily across my leagues and in last week’s ranks. But I figured it would be a good idea to see for myself if his breaking stuff looks a tad better than when I saw it in his 2nd and 3rd starts. Here’s how he looked:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The sixth inning of every home Clayton Kershaw start isn’t going to be the same. No longer will Angelenos be filing in as if it’s the first, suddenly realizing that Kershaw is pitching, but now they will be stuck talking about everything but baseball for the entirety of the game and not simply 95% of it. “Ma, can I keep score on the back of my headshot?” “We’re not here to see the game, Timmy, we’re here to run into commercial directors. This is where Stew’s mom got him that Tropicana commercial. You want to pay my bills, don’t you?” “Sorry, ma.” Like the oral sex scene in The World According to Garp, it’s a devastating blow losing Kershaw for any amount of time. He was diagnosed with a herniated disc, but won’t require surgery. The Dodgers are hoping he’s back (poor choice of words) from the DL right after the All-Star Game. I’d pray with you, but I’m using my hands to clap for not drafting a pitcher in the 1st round. The Dodgers did pick up Bud Norris in a trade to fill in. Won’t see any fall off there! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Owning Max Scherzer last night was like watching the Showtime classic, Emmanuelle, the erotic thriller starring Emmanuel Lewis as Webster Schlong and Alex Karras as George Papadopepuss. Through 6 IP, Scherzer had 13 Ks and was only 77 pitches. On the Tigers broadcast, Jimmy Leyland said, “(Scherzer) looks spent.” Who’s a better judge of that than his ex-manager? If only the Nationals had Jose Valverde to come in. But then Scherzer went out in the 7th and had a 1-2-3 inning with two Ks and it was if Shannon Tweed had appeared next to Emmanuel Lewis and this erotic thriller became more elaborate, convoluted and spectacular! Then Scherzer came out in the 8th and struck out three more guys to put his total at 18 Ks. Then, came the ninth. Now, no guy has a shorter hook than Emmanuel Lewis, but no manager has a longer hook than Dusty. Scherzer could’ve been on pitch 175 and he would’ve been out there to finish it, and finish the Tigers he did. Final line: 9 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 20 Ks. He is still giving up homers though…. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Before we point fingers and exclaim how “right or wrong” we are, know that I am writing this intro BEFORE Aaron Nola‘s start yesterday afternoon. I don’t want my intro to sully my thoughts from the top down. The post needs to read like a before-and-after! Kinda like how Grey slammed my Joe Ross rank endlessly on the Pod “before” the season, and even with awesome results “after” 5 starts, he’s still going to find ways to troll me on him… Sigh… Also, I need to use a thesaurus on the word “before”…
So why was I so slow to sip any of the Nola Kool-Aid? Well, here’s the red flags I saw PRIOR TO yesterday’s start: .227 BABIP, he averages 90.0 on his fastball, was never a K guy through the Minors, K rate has jumped from 7.88 in 77.2 IP last year to 9.90 in 40.0 IP this year, and finally, he’s looking like a 2-pitch guy right now with 59.5% fastballs and 33.7% curveballs. Now, I admittedly use Fangraphs as my reference, and maybe he mixes a few fastball variants and he’s leaning off his change-up since his curve is working so well right now. Unless you’re in the MLB Man Cave, you’re not watching every single SP every start (plus you’re like, a few weeks behind the current action, so that’s lame), so I concede I hadn’t watched Nola yet this year. But after the Nola-grilling on my ranks in the comments last week, seeing Nola was getting the start on Sunday made him the prime Pitcher to be Profiled. Here’s how he looked yesterday afternoon in the Crayola Canyon:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’d like to dedicate this post to all the mothers out there, and to the most important mother in most of our lives, Manny Machado. The Oxford Dictionary defines mother, “something that is an extreme or ultimate example of its kind especially in terms of scale.” So, one can say that Manny Machado is the mother of all shortstops and 3rd basemen. Yesterday, on Machado’s Day, a true mother in the most arcane sense, he went 2-for-4, 6 RBIs with two homers (8, 9). He’s gaining shortstop eligibility for next year because Hardy hurt himself and the Orioles realized that necessity is the Machado of invention. So, next year, is there any way he’s not in the top three overall for all of fantasy? I guess if he gets hurt. Did I just jinx him? What a Machado f**ker! Whatever the case, there’s no way I can pay you back, but the plan is to show you that I understand; you are appreciated. Sweet Manny, don’tcha know, I love ya (Dear Machado). Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Devin Mesoraco was diagnosed with a torn labrum in his shoulder after missing most of last year with a torn labrum in his hip. My Latin may be off, but I believe tearing two labrums means severe vagina pain. The last thing he’ll want to do is be squatting. Devin Mesoraco now has more torn labrums than Nadia Comaneci. This torn labrum finally gives Mesoraco an alibi to his ugly. If he were going to get a torn labrum of somewhere, I would’ve thought it was his most prominent feature, his sunken eyes. Uncle Fester called, he wants his face back! Tucker Barnhart (1-for-4, 1 run, hitting .298) will take over the catcher duties for Mesoraco. Barnhart has 3-homer power, so he’s not recommended outside of leagues that are Cousteau deep. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
There’s embarrassment and then there’s having to cover in detail a fantasy baseball league you’re nearly dead last in. So begins our first monthly update on the in house dynasty league “The RazzNasty”. For those of you that are new here, “The RazzNasty” is a Razzball founded dynasty league made up of Razzball writers, readers, commenters, and Methodists! It’s a 16 team roto with semi-weekly adds/drops via blind auction. We have 30 man MLB rosters and 10 man minor league rosters. Since we last updated you in early March there’s been a flurry of activity including trades, wire adds, a second commissioner switch, and a banana or two in the tailpipe. So yes it’s more or less high stakes Mario Kart.Please, blog, may I have some more?
“Hi, I work in the front office for the Twins and I’m ordering lunch. I was wondering what you have that’s old that you can give us a discount on. Can you eat old pork? Hmm, let’s try it with extra sauce. John Ryan Murphy briefly converted to Judaism, or so he wrote in 6-point font inside his lined notebook where he talked about murder, but he’s back to the gentile side of things. I’d also like to know if any of your very old or very young employees want to join our pitching staff. We can’t pay them in money, but Byung ho Park and Kurt Suzuki often wrestle together, reenacting Foxcatcher, and it’s just fun to be around when that happens. Gotcha, okay, just send the old pork then!” Incredibly, the Twins reached into their oh-so-deep pockets, pulled out some lint and decided to call up their top pitching prospect, Jose Berrios. He’s only been ready for about three years now; crazy to start his clock now when they could’ve held him down in Triple-A for another five years. Never underestimate the Twins’ frugality. It’s FRU-JOUL-LAY, it’s Italian! Here’s what I said previously about him, “A team like the Tigers would’ve promoted Berrios about two years ago. No fear, John Deere, Berrios is still only 21 years old. I’ve seen people peg Berrios as having #3 fantasy starter upside, but I see him landing eventually with a barely-2 BB/9 and 9 K/9 from his mid-90s MPH fastball and plus-curve. That makes him a borderline fantasy ace in the making. Of course, as a rookie, there will be stretches where he doesn’t look like that, but want a guy that could come on and give you a Shelby Miller in 2015-type year? Berrios has that potential.” And that’s me quoting me! Yes, I’d grab him, yes, in your league too. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?