First off, the story of Chris Capuano is just great. Three years after getting seriously hurt, he was back in the big leagues in 2010, doing his thing. But I’m not giving him the Greydar pub because he is a great story, it’s because he’s so cheap. No, not like splits the tab with you on a first date and makes you pay more fare for the taxi because you live farther away cheap. I’m talking about going behind Miguel Tejada according to Mock Draft Central and being the 97th pitcher off the board according to Fleaflicker cheap.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I usually like to keep private emails private, but when it’s matters of the state or sleepers, all is fair. The first email was from Hank from Dearborn, Michigan. Hank writes, “Where’s Brennan Boesch? I’ve been long time reader of Razzball and I wish to know the answer to this question. Until I know said answer, I’m farting in your general direction.” Eddie Murphy from Los Angeles writes, “I can’t believe you didn’t write a sleeper post about Brennan Boesch. By the way, this is the last of my final thousand words I’m allowed to say before they stop letting me make crappy, family comedies.” Finally, in writes Larry King, “Anyone see where I put my suspenders?” Sorry, Hank, Eddie and Larry, Brennan Boesch has been on my radar, but I guess I just needed a little push from you guys. So what makes Brennan Boesch a 2012 fantasy baseball sleeper?Please, blog, may I have some more?
This one goes out to the guy – one of the three TB fans that can actually be seen at a game – who was holding up the sign ‘Free Russ Canzler!’ last year. You didn’t see that sign? Yeah I didn’t either, mainly because it wasn’t there but since I don’t have cable I can’t verify that. Can someone please tell me why a team that has been in the playoffs for 3 of the last 4 years doesn’t get more people at the actual ballpark without offering a Zimbear? But back to what I had to say, Canzler was never going to see the light of day in Tampa Bay (How about I just go eat some hay.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d write this post. Probably because my wildest dreams don’t usually have to do with where I’d rank Emilio Bonifacio and have more to do with Swedish flight attendants and lingonberries. But then ESPN ranked him 214th overall (I have him 126th overall in my top 300 for 2012 fantasy baseball). They say, “Apparently, he needs to change his name to Bona fee-day.Please, blog, may I have some more?
First the Vernon Wells sleeper post (hahahahahahaha — terrible), then the Alex Rios sleeper post (hahahahahahahaha – worse), now a Kevin Youkilis sleeper post…. Seriously, am I getting old here? What the eff in the effhole? Where’s my youth love? My rookie nookie! I blame ESPN and the rest of the schmohawks out there in Internet land. Why does ESPN rank Youuuuuuk in the 2nd round last year <italics for emphasis>for them<italics for emphasis> and now he’s 100? I get that he had a bad year, but he’s done? Just like that? Fork’s in him? How is he being drafted in the 80′s of mock drafts? I understand he’s injury prone, but everyone’s done with The Greek God Of Limps? I have a lot of questions. So what makes Kevin Youkilis a 2012 fantasy baseball sleeper?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Eff it, I’ll get in the hype circle and mosh around a little. Bryce Harper wasn’t listed in my top 300 for 2012 fantasy baseball. He wasn’t listed in my top 80 outfielders for 2012 fantasy baseball. I did drop a Bryce Harper fantasy on you for a rookie nookie outlook thingie-ma-whosie-boobie. He wasn’t included in my (fill-in any other URL link to another page — matter of fact, just click around the site. Each click brings in 1/18th of a penny revenue! Look, ma, I just made half a nickel!) I don’t think we see Bryce Harper to start the year. I’m not even sure if we see Bryce Harper by June. I don’t think so. As said in my Harper post, “I’m guessing (he shows up in the majors) some time after July 1st as the team starts to fade and they need to pull the ol’ “Hey, look at this new shiny toy” trick. Guess it’s better than the ol’ “Shine a flashlight on a wall” trick, unless you’re trying to get Pedroia to crash into a wall. Harper was signed by the Nats for $9.9 million (no word on how much of that goes for royalties to The Ultimate Warrior), and they want him to put asses in seats on Strasburg’s off days.” And that’s me quoting me! So what’s changed? For one, the Nats made some offseason moves to better their team (and maybe better the A’s a little too). For two, I don’t think this changes Harper’s ETA. The Nats are selling a can of “We Got Promise” corn saying Harper is starting the year with them, but I think they’re still just trying to sell tickets. If you lived in the Washington, D.C.Please, blog, may I have some more?