I originally titled this post “SuperNova Destroys Baltimore,” but I was worried it would cause mass panic in the Crab Cake Capital, and those guys already have it rough enough with Hamsterdam running wild. For now, I’ll settle for simply pissing PETA off. Planet destroying exploding stars aside, Ivan Nova‘s star was shining extra bright Friday night as he dominated Baltimore pitching a complete game, giving up just three hits, two runs and striking out 11 Orioles. Ivan “I Vill Crush You” Nova’s only blemish in this game was a second inning home run to Matt Wieters. It looked like Nova would be stuck with the no-decision but new best friend and obvious father figure Vernon Wells hit a walk off single in the bottom of the ninth to get New York their fifth win in a row. It was Ivan’s first career shutout and he now has a 2.95 ERA and 0.94 WHIP with a 22/4 K/BB ratio in his three starts since returning to the majors. You gotta like that! Ivan gets the Royals next time out and he could be worth streaming in most formats, because they aren’t any good. Super Nova is a star worthy of a look, at least until he explodes.
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball last night:
Ike Davis 3-for-5, 2 runs, BB, 2 RBI. In his return from the minors. Welcome back, old friend. He’s 26 years old people, available in about 40% of RCL leagues and has crazy power upside. Grey told you to BUY, in other words, we like Ike.
Zack Wheeler 5.0 IP, 10 base runners, 1 ER, 3 K and his 2nd win. Yeah, you can probably drop him now if you need to — but if you do, I’ll be right there to snatch him up for his start in SF next week!
Kirk Nieuwenhuis 4-for-4, 3 runs, 5 RBI, SB. Dammit Kirk, this was game of your life! At least, I hope it was the game of his life, because I really don’t want to have to spell that name every week.
Carlos Gomez 4-for-4, 1 run, 2 RBI, SB. I wouldn’t go as far as to say he’s completely saved my fantasy season to date, but he totally did/has…will? CarGo-O-omes! Home is whenever I’m with you.
Juan Francisco 2-for-3, 2 runs and his 11th HR. Grey told you to BUY him for power and JuanFran goes and jacks one. Natch. He’s still available in 40% of RCL leagues. Grab him if you need the power. If you already have the power, you are probably He-Man.
Starling Marte 3-for-6, 2 runs, 2 SB (his 25 & 26) Oh my Starling, that’s a ten game hitting streak! Enjoy those steals while they last ya’ll, because living in Pittsburgh its only a matter of time before all those Primanti Bros. sammies start catching up to him. Of course I want fries on my salad, do I look like I’m on a diet?
Jose Tabata 2-for-5 with an RBI. Tabata has showed some bing! since returning with five hits in just three games. He’s got some speed and light power and is worth a look if you need an outfielder. He’s also got a crazy, baby-stealing wife who’s almost twice his age, so dude could use all the love he can get.
Francisco Liriano 9.0 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, 4 BB, 7 K and his 8th win. Sweet sassy molassy! I’m not sure if you should buy Liriano low because his owners think he’s going to implode at any minute, or if you should sell high because he’s going to explode any minute. But there’s one thing I do know…but if I told you that then everyone would know! Duh-doy!
Jeff Samardzija 6.0 IP, 9 hits, 5 ER, 3 K. Samashedzjia! Which is sort of how I feel as I’m writing this right now. I hope everyone had a good 4th and/or Canada Day!
Jose Reyes 3-for-4, 1 win, 2 RBI. Back in high school, Jose’s hitting coach on his baseball team suggested that Jose change his batting stance to something more traditional. Reyes insisted, “No! Way ‘Jose.’” And that’s how that idiom was born. #truefacts
Rajai Davis 0-for-4. Raj is 0-for-14 in his last four games after going 7-for-16 with 7 SB in the previous four games. Yup, that sounds about right. That’s our Rajai! To recap: seven stolen bases in four days, people. Quit complaining.
Jose Bautista 3-for-4, 2 RBI, and his 20th HR. Me strike out?! No. Way ‘Jose’! See, everybody’s saying it!
Mark Buehrle 7.0 IP, 6 hits, 0 ER, 5 K. This veteran knows a juicy match up when he sees one, and the B-Jays grab a much needed win after losing three straight to the Tigers. You know that scene in Independence Day when Bill Pullman gives the inspiring speech to the nation before they go kill all the aliens (*spoiler*), and Will Smith gives that, “You so crazy Mr. President, but damn you right and that shizz is emotional.” face. It was kinda like that, but without the aliens. Wait, which player was I writing about again? I’m sorry, but that is just a good movie. Welcome to Earff!
Justin Upton 2-for-4. He’s batting .280 over the past two weeks with no home runs. But I guess that’s better than batting .220 with no home runs. UGH. There’s your silver lining, Bradley Cooper, now give me your Jennifer Lawrence.
Rick Porcello 7.0 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 6 K and his 5th win. Sigh. It’s because I dropped you isn’t it? Every time! Every damn time!
Justin Masterson 4.2 IP, 7 hits, 6 ER, 4 BB, 6 K. Masterson and Porcello should build a best bros forever bomb shelter so they can hide out together from angry fantasy owners tired of their inconsistency. There would be like 20 flat screens and a fridge just packed with colds ones. So tight, bro.
Everth Cabrera 0-for-5 in his return from the DL. And no, he did not steal a base. But he DID steal my identity. I was pretty upset at first, but I guess that makes me Everth Cabrera now? That’s pretty cool, brb gonna go steal some bases.
Andrew Cashner 2.0 IP, 8 base runners, 6 ER. I think Grey mentioned this earlier this week. The Nationals can hit again people. You can add them to your list of teams you’re scared to start pitchers against. My list is currently pretty short with Detroit, Baltimore and Texas, but Boston, Cleveland and the Dodgers are making a strong case to be included as well. Who’d I miss?
Bryce Harper 0-for-4, RBI. Yeesh. Bryce has been quite the ticker tease since returning from the DL. The Nats have scored 26 runs in five games with Bryce back and Harper has gone 1-for-19, with 2 runs, a home run and an RBI. Shake the rust off already Harps’, if not for you, then for me and for my fantasy team.
Nick Franklin 1-for-4, 2 RBI. Nick has two HR, two SB and 10 RBI in the past two weeks! Can’t ask for much more than that from your middle infielder. Also, his great-great-great grandfather invented the 100 dollar bill or something! Wowee!
Aaron Harang 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, 4 K and his 4th win. Ahh. GAWD! Why can’t you just suck and get cut and let the M’s call up Erasmo Ramirez already. Nobody wants you here, Harang!! Aaaaaaaaaaaron. Aaaaaaaaaaron. Aaaaaaaaaron. But seriously, nice start though.
Joey Votto 2-for-4 and his 15th HR. He is the fantasy equivalent to Tim Duncan. That is a good thing, I think?
Oliver Perez 1.0 IP, 3 K. Tom Wilhelmsen was warming in the pen ready to close out this B but Oliver was like, “Please sir, can I have some more!” He responded with the Kimbrel–striking out the side, yo! Wilhelmson is allegedly “reclaiming” the job but I wouldn’t drop your Oliver Perezes just yet.
Jeremy Hellickson 7.0 IP, 6 hits, 1 ER, 9 K. Hellboy has risen to the heavens in his past four starts, giving up just three runs in 26.0 IP and he’s striking out more hitters than before (23/7 K/BB). His four game winning streak has come against some tough teams, too, including Detroit, Boston and Toronto. He gets the Twins next week so grab him if he’s out there. It’s a a wonder how he’s turned it around so quickly, but what I really wonder is how he throws a baseball with that large mechanical hand. That was a comic book reference, NERD!
Desmond Jennings 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 SB. Good news owners! Most of Desmond’s speed was locked in the Hatch the whole time, brutha!
Gordon Beckham 2-for-4 with his 9th double. That’s two straight weeks where I’ve mentioned Beckham, he’s batting .370 in that span and its worth noting he even started at shortstop yesterday. This really is the end, Seth Rogen.
Logan Morrison 1-for-4 and his 3rd HR. Grey told you to BUY him. If you follow LoMo on twitter he’ll hit a home run for you, but he won’t follow you back so don’t keep asking. (He really doesn’t like that).
Tommy Milone 8.1 IP, 6 hits, 3 ER, 4 K and his 8th win. Impressive start from Tommy Boy. Even more impressive he did it away from home — but don’t get too excited, he had his blankie with him the whole time.
Josh Reddick 2-for-3, 3 runs, 2 RBI. The mix of psychedelic drugs, alcohol, Bruce Springsteen, fireworks, general lack of sleep and BBQ over the past three days makes me think this game may not have actually happened, but for Josh’s sake I really hope it did.
Eric Hosmer 2-for-4, run, RBI. I promised I wouldn’t jinx it — but not gonna lie, this makes me very happy.
David Murphy 1-for-4, 2-run HR 10th as he batted second. Murph is a long time favorite of mine, and makes for a juicy pickup at just 20% owned as long as he stays batting second in this line up. But the important thing here is the Rangers taught Houston not to mess with Texas. Get a clue, Astros!
Nelson Cruz 1-for-5 and the grand salami! Nelly prefers the grand chorizo. People ask me who they should buy if they need power — well, this guy hits home runs like, all the time!
Adrian Beltre 2-for-3, 17th HR, 2 runs. Yo Adria–NO! Must…resist…Rocky reference….Whew. Anyway, Johnny Depp actually attended this Rangers game to promote his new movie and poke fun at all the Native American fans. But don’t worry, the fans were also movie critics and I hear they got the last laugh. LOL, that horse drank a beer and then burped! Classic.
Tyler Skaggs 8.0 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, 5 K. Don’t get too excited, Pointer Sisters, CarGo and Fowler both sat this game out, so this line up was fairly pathetic. But credit is due here, and my rookie sense is tingling (or that could be the hangover). Tyler looked great in his longest outing of the season retiring 12 in a row at one point. He gets a tough Dodgers team next time out, but he’s worth another look in NL-Only and deeper mixed.
Matt Cain 2.1 IP, 6 hits, 4 BB, 8 ER. Eventually the drugs will wear off and hopefully I’ll discover this start never happened. Wait, who said that!? Is that you GOD! No? Jon Hamm!? Yo Jon, stay out of my psychedelic adventures!
David Ortiz Hit a pinch hit 2-run HR. As he trotted around the bases he whipped it out as he flipped off the pitcher. The censors decided to let it slide, because he’s Big Papi and he’s a big, lovable, huggable teddy bear and what a great smile!
Juan Uribe 3-for-5 with his 5th HR and 7 RBI. You know an offense is on fire when Juan Uribe is batting .340 with 2 HR and 13 RBI over the past 15 days. Uribe had 17 RBI total in all of 2012! Egads! This really is the end! WHITE HOUSE DOWN, people! Protect Jamie Foxx at all costs! Someone call Channing Tatum!
Matt Kemp Left the game in the third after injuring his shoulder. Set to miss “a couple days.” Aww, maaan. That really grates my cheese, you guys. Grey just told you to BUY him, too. Carl Crawford, who was activated from the DL but not in the starting line up, took his place and went 0-for-3 with a run. There was a log jam yesterday in the LA outfield but these things have their way of working them selves out in the worst way possible. Some poor fantasy owner is guaranteed to be upset, unless of course you owned Andre Ethier. Ethier owners are ecstatic right now. Blame them. Point your fingers and make them pity you.
Hanley Ramirez 2-for-3, 2 runs, RBI. HanRam is hitting the stuffing out of the ball right now. All he does is hit baseballs, folks! He’s doing this new thing called “trying.” I hear it’s for winners!
Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below, or you can get at me on twitter @dandemanco. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!