Scott Olsen went 7 1/3 innings, giving up 1 ER and registering 8 Ks, while taking a no-hitter into the 8th inning. Olsen, “Hello, Corner, I think I’m going to turn you.” Corner, “Go for it.” Looks like Olsen has been able to use his changeup more effectively this year and rely less on the fastball. Olsen, “Fastball, you’re my woobie, I think I need to move on.” Fastball, “But where were they going without ever knowing the way?” Olsen, “Sorry, think I dialed the wrong Fastball.” I get worried about putting faith in Nationals pitchers not named, That Kid In Triple-A, but I could see taking a flier on Olsen in 12 team mixed leagues and deeper. At one time, Olsen wasn’t just some random Nats pitcher, he was a top Marlin prospect. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Lance Berkman – Fat Elvis says he’d leave the building if the Astros wanted him to. He’d agree to leave the Astros? That’s just crazy. Cray-zee.
Wandy Rodriguez – 3 2/3 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks. And the Wandwagon is back off the tracks. Hopefully, it’s not back spasms. He had three okay starts prior to this, so you gotta wait it out. Well, you don’t have to, but that’s my suggestion.
Kelly Johnson – 2-for-4 as he hit his 10th homer. Nothing says I love you like a Johnson going deep. Hmm… Could’ve reworded that.
Dan Haren – 9 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 9 Ks. I just thought of the perfect trade. You trade Haren in July for Teixeira. Am I right? Or am I right-right?
Kila Ka’aihue – 1-for-1 with an RBI. I know, you’re thinking he got 5 ABs and shot four BBs. No, he pinch hit. Here’s an idea, put Guillen in the outfield and sit the .118 batting, Dishonorable Willie Bloomquist, not that I’m judging.
Vladimir Guerrero – 2 HRs, 4 RBIs. I’m enjoying owning Vlad this season. That is all.
Justin Smoak – 1-for-4, and his third homer. Ignore the .196 average. He has 8 walks and 9 Ks. The Smoak will rise.
Julio Borbon – 0-for-4 as the Rangers scored 13. Ticker tease! Wait, actually, ticker season.
Randy Wells – 2 IP, 6 ER, 8 baserunners, 1 K. After the game, the Fangraphs Database had this to say, “That’s payback for having a FIP higher than your ERA last year. Muahahahaha…” What an evil database.
Nate Schierholtz – 3-for-3, homer and a steal. He won’t kill you on average, but he’s also not going to wow your socks off with his power or speed. Decent roster filler for NL-Only leagues, but that’s about it as of right now.
Edgar Renteria – Headed to the 15-day DL. Member the first week of the season when you wanted to add this schmohawk? Ah, yeah, those were the days.
John Ely – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks. Solid command and groundball stuff, though nothing really overpowering. I’d look at him in NL-Only leagues for now.
Mike Napoli – Hit his first homer of the year. After the game, Scioscia said, “Mathis would’ve hit two.”
Roy Halladay – 7 IP, 1 ER, 10 baserunners, 9 Ks and now has a 1.45 ERA and a 6-1 record. But can he give birth to kittens? Well? Didn’t think so.
Raul Ibanez – Hit a homer and now has hits in 7 of 8 games. Sure, he’s only had one hit in most of those games, but the glass half full here, c’mon.
Cameron Maybin – Sat yesterday and may not be long for everyday at-bats. On high alert: Mike Stanton.
Dana Eveland – 7 IP, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks. Dana has 16 Ks and 17 walks on the year. Ignore him (her?).
Gordon Beckham – 0-for-4 as he looks more like Gordon Shumway.
Alfredo Simon – Third save without allowing an earned run. ‘fredo can handle things! He’s smart!
Ty Wigginton – 2-for-4, and his 10th homer. Can we get Adam Jones to use Wigginton’s bat?
Koji Uehara – He’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell. How will I ever do without my Koji Uehara news?! Was that sarcastic, random italicized voice? Yup.
Michael Saunders – In the wake of Milton Bradley’s case of the Mondays, Saunders was recalled. He’s a poor man’s Big FraGu. Some power, some speed, some AL-Only league fodder.
Eric Byrnes – Decided to hang up his dignity and join a recreational softball league. I figured if anyone were to retire to a sport with beer in the dugout it would’ve been Miguel Cabrera.