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Fenway Park hosted the Washington Nationals for the first time in six years last night, and after being swept in a 3-game series in 2006, Washington was eager to show off their new National Treasures. Those treasures I speak of are, of course, Bryce Harper, Stephen Strasburg and Nicholas Cage. Well, not Nicholas Cage, but Stephen Strasburg showed us even the high-powered offenses of the AL East are no match for his surgically repaired bionic throwing arm. The Stras-borg (like cyborg, right?) gave up just 4 hits in 6.0 innings, and it was almost mechanical the way he sent the Boston Red Sox down swinging with 13 strike outs (*drools).  Before the game Strasborg was quoted as saying, “Uploading program, whiff batters. Engage.” He is now 7-1 with a 2.41 ERA and four wins in a row — and he gets the Blue Kays next week. If we download the data/stats from Friday’s game and cross-check that, adjusting variables to his match up versus Toronto, we can assume he will strike out…(/calculating) 29 batters! Well, that can’t be right.  I am no scientist, but even an idiot can tell you that Stephen Strasburg is a stud.

Bryce Harper tweaked his back in Thursday’s game. There was some speculation as to whether he would play Friday, but he assured his legion of admirers, “Bad backs are for old people! Bring on the Red Suuuuuux!” And bring it on Bryce did; he collected 3 hits including a 2-run home run and 3 RBIs. Harper now has 7 home runs, and the 3 hits brought his average up to .288. He has been a great source of runs and average, but it’s his flashes of power and speed that are most exciting. He is a fantasy beast in the making, and even though he’s been out-shined a bit by Mike “My Hero” Trout, with Harper it looks like the best is yet to come.

Adrian Gonzalez – 2-for-5 with his 5th HR. The homers have been few and far between for A-Gone but he’s a Mercurio. It’s getting waaaarmer. The power is coming.

C.J. Wilson8.0 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks as he shut down the Rockies. I’ve cemented the official starting pitching staff for my initialed-players team: C.C. Sabathia, C.J. Wilson, R.A. Dickey, A.J. Burnett and J.A. Happ. Wow, that’s a better staff than 90% of the teams in the MLB (*Fantasy Pro tip: draft initialed pitchers)!

Torii Hunter – 3-for-5 with 2 HRs and 6 RBIs. He batted second. Hunter has been awful when he’s played lately but he’s certainly in the right situation to succeed again. See below.

Mike Trout3-for-4 with 3 runs and 2 SBs. Would it be weird for a grown man to hang a Mike Trout poster on my, uh I mean, his wall?

Corey Hart –  3-for-4 with 2 HRs as he led off. If you’re the owner of a Corey Hart — you’re probably quite pleased right now.

Edinson Volquez5.0 IP, 6 ER. You didn’t start a hodgepadre away from Petco did you?

Jed Lowrie – 2-for-4 with his fourth home run in the past 10 games.  The man named Jed has had crazy hot spells like this before, but the 10 home runs on the season is certainly a surprise. He continues to bat third for the Astros, and his shortstop/third base eligibility makes him extra valuable, especially when he’s hot.

Ben Revere – 3-for-4 with 2 SBs. Leading off for the Twins, he now has 5 steals in the past 8 games. He’s owned in less than 5% of ESPN leagues. If you need steals, you can ride with Revere (to every Middlesex village and farm)!

Alfonso Soriano – 3-for-5 with 2 HRs. Soriano is hot and he’s probably got another 3-5 home runs in him before you can drop/bench him again.

Jason Heyward – 2-for-5 with a SB. Where have you been for the past month? No, don’t tell me — I’m just glad you’re back?

Jose Bautista – 1-for-4 with a HR. Just his 16th of the year? That’s pretty good, I guess…but that’s only 6 more than Jed Lowrie!

Matt Joyce – 2-for-3 with 3 runs and a HR. The homer was his 10th to tie slugger Jed Lowrie.

Ben Zobrist – 2-for4, now has collected hits in back-to-back games! Really, any signs of life are encouraging at this point with BenZo.

Joey Votto – 3-for-5 with his 10th HR and 3 RBIs. The home run tied him with Jed Lowrie and Matt Joyce! No, but seriously, Votto is as hot as anybody right now and extends his hitting streak to 14 games. He is a lot better at baseball than Jed or Matt.

Brennan Boesch – Boesch has been a big disappointment this year, but this game was nice. Boesch owners, celebrate this day!

Neil Walker – 3-for-4 with a stolen base. I knew he was a Walker, I didn’t know he was a runner! Wakka wakka!

Shane Victorino – 3-for-5 with a HR and 5 RBIs. The Phillies win today was a real victory-no, as it was Shane’s 4th inning home run that really sealed this game.

Chris Davis – 2-for-4 with a HR, raises his average to .299! I’m sorry, I just…still can’t trust him. I’m not ready yet. He hurt me too bad.

Johan Santana – 5.0 IP, 6 ERs as Johan got roughed up by the Yankees in the Bronx. Someone should look up the numbers for players pitching in games after they pitched a no-hitter. Yeah…someone should really look those up….(/googles cats in sunglasses).

Robinson Cano – 2-for-4 with 2 HRs. Cano, Swisher and Andruw Jones homered back-to-back-to-back. Cano gets the highlight because he hit two, and 2 > 1. Also, I like him more.

Huroki Kuroda – 7.0 IP, 0 ER, 1 H, 7 Ks. His best start in a Yankee uniform. Kurodaaaaaaayum!

Matt Harrison – 9.0 IP, 4Ks, complete game shut out versus the Giants. That’s his 7th win of the year and 4th win in a row. The Giants offense makes the Rangers offense look like the All Star team, but still another QS start for Harrison.

Josh Hamilton – 1-for-5 with his 22nd home run. Contractual web traffic obligations require I mention Hammys every time he goes deep.

Seth Smith – 3-for-4 with a home run and 2 RBIs from the Lisper’s Nightmare. Is it me or is the word “lisp” a word that would be real difficult for someone with a speech impediment to say? Is it some kind of cruel joke? Speaking of cruel jokes…

Daniel Hudson – 1.2 IP, 8 H, 6 ER, 1K. Bleh. He had such an excellent start last week I had high hopes for Friday’s match up versus Joakland. Sigh. Daniel Hudson hates your fantasy team.

Nate Eovaldi6.0 IP, 0 ER, 6 Ks. Lowers his ERA to 2.84 but falls to 0-2. I’d like to see more, but I’m watching you, Eovaldi.

Kevin Millwood – 6.0 IP, 6 Ks, 0 H. Millwood has a no-hitter going when he had to exit with a groin injury in the 7th. “Oww, my groin!” You know it must have hurt if he left a no hitter behind. Five additional relievers combined to finish the no-hitter against the Dodgers.  I would tell you their names but I already forgot them.

  1. PhillyYorker says:
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    But this is a new batch of Chris Davis. It’s sooo good. Close to what they told us he would be the first few time around.

    Now, the real question is Josh Johnson. How long do you chase that high?

    • Dan Pants

      Blairtch says:
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      @PhillyYorker, I think JJ is starting to come around! And he’s healthy!

  2. Ozzie says:
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    Medlen or Eovaldi?

    • Dan Pants

      Blairtch says:
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      @Ozzie, I like Medlen more in the long run but I’ll go with the guy who’s currently in the majors, and that’s Eovaldi.

      • @Blairtch, Isn’t he getting sent right back down when Lily is ready?

        • Dan Pants

          Blairtch says:
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          @El Burro, Yeah, which is why I like Medlen more ROS. Unfortunately LA’s staff is pretty crowded at the moment, but there’s no reason you can’t ride him until Lilly returns in a week or so.

  3. JD Hassett

    JD says:
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    Would you trade Trout for CC ?

    • Dan Pants

      Blairtch says:
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      @JD, If I needed the pitching. Trout’s value is pretty high right now, you might even be able to get get more for him.

  4. Jamiehov says:
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    Are u guys starting Gio tonight? I feel like either he gets tagged tonight or Zimmerman gets it tomorrow

    • Dan Pants

      Blairtch says:
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      @Jamiehov, I wouldn’t start Gio. His career numbers against Boston are pretty bad.

      • Jamiehov says:
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        @Blairtch,

        Thanks, that’s where I was leaning

        • Real McCoy says:
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          @Jamiehov, Say it with me……SONOVABENCH

  5. stumanji says:
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    Would you drop Yunel Escobar for Trevor Plouffe or Everth Cabrera in a league with OBP & SLG? Yunel’s .645 OPS makes me sad inside but I can’t get myself to drop him for a hot shmotato.

    • Dan Pants

      Blairtch says:
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      @stumanji, Depending how deep the league is I’d have no issue dropping Yunel for a hot bat, but Escobar did put together a nice little 6 game hit streak before going 0-for-3 last night.

      • stumanji says:
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        @Blairtch, Thanks. 12 teams but shallow 4 player bench. I decided grap Plouffe (another HR today!) and cut bait with my Sergio Santos stash, and hold on to Yunel for insurance.

  6. Deadwoods says:
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    Drop Billy Butler for Allen Craig ROS?

    • Dan Pants

      Blairtch says:
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      @Deadwoods, No. But definitely pick up Craig if you have some one else to drop.

  7. Homer City says:
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    Jed Lowrie has 11 homers and not 10 (my boy needs more credit). Will you rest of season rank these three SS for me:

    Asdrubal Cabrera
    Jed Lowrie
    Ian Desmond

    • Dan Pants

      Blairtch says:
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      @Homer City, whoops 11* If Jed can keep this up: ROS Lowrie, Cabrera, Desmond

  8. SpiralArchitect says:
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    Just offered and interesting trade:
    Carlos Quentin and Ben Zobrist for Hunter Pence and Dustin Ackley.

    Thoughts? Simple points league, points across all counting categories, and negatives for Ks and CS.

    • Dan Pants

      Blairtch says:
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      @SpiralArchitect, I like the Pence side. Zobrist should get a lot better (he has to), but Pence is the best player in this trade and its not close.

  9. BERK says:
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    I have to drop either Frency or Moustakas to make room for Panda coming off the DL. Both have been pretty good. Who to keep?

    • BERK says:
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      (Frenchy, I mean. Probably obvs.)

      • Dan Pants

        Blairtch says:
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        @BERK, Wow. No one else to drop? I guess I’d drop Francoeur.

        • BERK says:
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          @Blairtch, Yeah, it’s a pretty competitive head-to-head league, with outs as a pitching category (in addition to ERA, WHIP, Ks, Ws, & SVs). So if you don’t load up on pitchers you’re pretty much going to lose pitching 2-4 each week. So no one carries bench bats. Someone dropped Francoeur when he was slumping, then I grabbed him to fill in for injuries. Then he got hot! Good problem to have — my offense is pretty stacked! Thanks.

          • stumanji says:
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            @BERK, I’d want Mous due to position scarcity if it was a toss up between the two.

  10. Buc Lover says:
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    I’m in a Yahoo 12 team H2H 5×5 and have been offered McCutchen and R.A. Dickey for Votto. Very competitive league. Anyone have an opinion?

    • Dan Pants

      Blairtch says:
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      @Buc Lover, It depends on need. If you can spare the power Votto provides, Mccutcheon can provide stats across the board (especially speed) and Dickey is one of the hottest arms in baseball right now.

  11. Joe says:
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    10 team keeper league and my team is kind of middling right now so I’m looking to maybe make a move. We get $90 to keep players based on their average auction values taken from a handful of websites next year.

    My team right now: McCann, Uggla, Hosmer, Morneau, Lowrie, Beltre, J. Upton, Harper, McCutchen, Jennings, Moustakas, Heyward, Crawford (IR)

    Felix, Bumgarner, D. Hudson, Zambrano, Sale, Norris, McDonald, Scherzer, Putz, Myers, Nathan

    I feel like I have pretty a pretty solid group of hitters, do I try to trade J. Upton for someone like CC or stay put? The dude way in last has CC, Verlander, Gallardo, J. Johnson and a pretty weak set of hitters. Good chance I don’t keep Upton next year honestly so I thought he could get me a top pitcher.

    • Dan Pants

      Blairtch says:
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      @Joe, I think Upton should get a lot better, he’s too talented. That said, I think you don’t want to sell him when his value is so low. Your pitching looks good so I don’t see the need for an ace (you have felix/bumgarner/sale). I would stick with what you have, if anything your team could use some power. Maybe you could trade some speed (Jennings, McCutcheon?) for a serious power bat.

  12. Dan Pants

    Blairtch says:
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    I think Upton should get a lot better, he’s too talented. That said, I think you don’t want to sell him when his value is so low. Your pitching looks good so I don’t see the need for an ace (you have felix/bumgarner/sale). I would stick with what you have, if anything your team could use some power. Maybe you could trade some speed (Jennings, McCutcheon?) for a serious power bat.

  13. jack says:
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    Any idea why Carlos Quentin is sitting so often? 2 out of 3 games. I am thinking about trading for him, so I’d like to know why. thanks

    • Dan Pants

      Blairtch says:
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      @jack, It’s strange that he’s sit 3 games now, especially considering how hot he’s been. I’m sorry I don’t have an explanation for you other than he just returned from the DL and is getting routine days off.

  14. Jimmy Kickers says:
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    At one point in last night’s Mariners/Dodgers no hitter, Stephen Pryor threw 9, yes 9, balls in a row. Brought Brandon League (yikes) in to get out of the jam. If Chone Figgins hadn’t pulled a sprinting rabbit out of his arse in shallow left to hold the runner on 3rd, they would have blown it.

    Long story short, if Pryor is going to be the Razzball predicted “closer by August,” he’s going to need more Trip-A seasoning. He looked completely outmatched.

  15. NoBrainer? says:
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    Give Aviles get Uggla. 12team h2h weekly points, minus 1 for Ks

    • Dan Pants

      Blairtch says:
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      @NoBrainer?, Ks aside, I still want Uggla.

  16. Real McCoy says:
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    Okay. I was offered Adrian Beltre (3B) for Billy Butler (1B) and J. Johnson (CL).

    My other 3B are Longoria, Encarnacion, and Moustakus
    My other 1B are AGon, and Goldschmidt
    My other CL are Motte, Putz, and Reed

    This is a 10 team 5×5 standard scoring yahoo league. This seems like a no brainer but I am worried about Beltre’s Hammy. Should I accept?

    • Real McCoy says:
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      @Real McCoy, After the Move my optimum line-up looks like:

      C: Ruiz
      1B: AGon
      2B: Phillips
      3B: Beltre
      SS: Aviles
      IF: Moustakas
      OF: BJ Upton, Hamilton, Craig
      UTL: Goldschmidt, Encarnacion
      Bench: Furcal
      DL: Longoria

      …who would you drop upon a Longo return?

  17. Real McCoy says:
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    Me again… I would be able to pick up Frieri so it basically comes down to this What combo would you rather have based on 5×5 H2H Rest of year

    1) Beltre / Frieri
    2) Butler / Johnson

    • Dan Pants

      Blairtch says:
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      @Real McCoy, I like Beltre a lot more than Butler ( the line up, the power, etc.) but Adrian does have his durability issues. If you can get Frieri I think the trade is a no-brainer. I’d probably drop one of your SS upon Longo’s return or Goldscmidt.

  18. jared says:
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    Drop matt adams for gaby sanchez??

    • Dan Pants

      Blairtch says:
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      @jared, I’d want to see Sanchez hit before I drop anyone for him.

  19. Kane says:
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    Drop Howie Kendrick for Neil Walker? Also drop Laroche for Goldschmidt? Thanks!

    • Dan Pants

      Blairtch says:
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      @Kane, I’d stick with what you have. But if you can stash Goldschmidt without dropping Laroche I would.

  20. Piranhaman says:
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    Thanks, Blairtch!

    you make fantasy people’s weekend more pleasant! (or pleasanter?)

  21. knighttown says:
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    Harper vs. Lee. Which side?

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