There’s some strong indications that Shelby Miller could be called up by the Cards when the rosters expand on September 1st. “Why should we care about some stunod with a 4.89 ERA in Triple-A? Hey, Grey, we care about stunods now?” That’s you talking to yourself just as a pretty girl walks by and thinks you’re crazy for talking to yourself. But you don’t care, you got a passing grade in Hygiene from the University of Phoenix. The world is your oyster and you’re shucking it up. Now, as Scott, our minor league prospect writer, said a few days ago, “Whatever was bothering Miller during the first four months of 2012 — mechanics, command, velocity… all of the above — whatever it was, he seems to have worked through it. In 55.2 IP over his last ten outings with Triple-A Memphis, he’s posted a 61/7 K/BB along with a 3.40 ERA and a 1.02 WHIP. Miller is once again commanding his mid-90’s fastball and he truly looks to be back on track as an elite prospect. If I didn’t have my hands filled with painting portraits of Billy Hamilton in nacho cheese on the back of tortilla chips, I’d do one for Shelby Miller.” Hmm, that’s a little weird, but whatevs, we’re all allowed our peccadilloes. Earlier in the season, Miller supposedly wasn’t utilizing his curve enough. See, he throws a high fastball and then a curve that buckles the ol’ gam-gams. When those two pitches are working, he’s lights out. He shouldn’t be on a strict innings count in September and could have mixed league appeal. For next year, I imagine he’ll start the year in the rotation and be a legit sleeper. In keepers, get on him now. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Steve Pearce – Yankees acquired him from the Astros for cash. The Astros plan on playing cash at 3rd base and holding runners tight at 2nd to avoid any stealing. Maybe they can trade Brian Bogusevic for a wallet, so they can show the league they are a responsible adult.
Mark Teixeira – Left yesterday’s game with a calf strain and underwent an MRI. Or in his case, an MIR. The Yankees are saying he’ll miss a week to two weeks. It’s out of our hands now, but we can form a prayer triangle and do our best to send good vibes for a speedy recovery. There is some more bad news attached to the Yankees’ optimism. Calf strains similar to Te(i)x’s have sidelined players for 3 weeks, and the Yankees may not make a move to DL him since rosters are set to expand this weekend, which means he may be out for a couple of weeks and you’re not able to DL him. I.e., bad news invited awful news over for dinner and served turd pie like in The Help.
Robinson Cano – 2-for-4 and two solo homers. Let’s just split the AL MVP award up with him, Verlander, Trout, Miggy and Hamilton and go home. If you’re already home, then go outside and smell the flowers. Unless you’re in jail.
Nick Swisher – 1-for-6 with his 20th homer. He’s now hitting near .420 in the last week. “Sounds like he’s sparking up,” says Lincecum.
Lew Ford – 2-for-4 with his 1st homer in five years, “which may be a record for longest time between homers, but I’m not sure,” as the unpaid intern at Elias Sports Bureau said. Also, in this game for the O’s, Nate McLouth homered. The O’s are in 1st for the Wild Card too. The same O’s with terrible hitting and mediocre pitching. Boog Powell’s preseason speech about the importance of picking up ribbies is really paying off.
Wei-Yin Chen – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, to lower his ERA to 3.78. Before last night, he had a 5+ ERA in August and he’s had just under a 4 ERA on both sides of the All-Star break with a respectable K-rate. He’s the kind of borderline starter that annoys you in most mixed leagues, but he’s been valuable for the dollar or two spent in an AL-Only auction. Definitely no choice Chen, but far from Bruce Chen too.
Jim Johnson – Recorded his 40th save last night to go along with 33 Ks. When a closer has more saves than Ks, I smell a problem. And that problem smells like Todd Jones’s Fu Manchu mustache and musk cologne.
Adam Lind – 2-for-5 with a homer as he returned from the DL. If you need power, I’d pick him up. What’s the worst thing that happens? He goes 0-for-64 the rest of the year, singlehandedly loses your H2H playoffs and in the offseason he starts dating your sister and calls you “Sport” at family get-togethers.
Colby Rasmus – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 21st homer. The Razzball community reached a critical mass recently and started begging me in comments to tell them to drop Rasmus from their team. So, of course, he homered yesterday and got his first RBIs since August 7th.
Jose Bautista – Will see a specialist due to his limp wrist. Sounds like a doctor someone would send their son to in the 1950’s if he was 25 years old and still didn’t have a girlfriend.
Kyle Lohse – 5 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 3 Ks as his ERA actually goes up to 2.64. In other news, water is dry.
Brett Anderson – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks. Soon people gonna be coming back from Tommy John surgery before they even have Tommy John surgery.
Josh Reddick – 2-for-4 with his 26th homer, which comes a day after a 3-for-4 game. Considering how bad he’s been over the last month, these last two games were a marked improvement. Last week, I suggested you should drop him like a hot potato, but this week you may want to hold him like a hot schmotato when you’re carb loading.
Aramis Ramirez – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and 2 homers in Wrigley as he reminded Cubs fans how great he can be when a team is out of the pennant race.
Carlos Gomez – 4-for-5, 3 runs, 1 RBI and his 2nd game in a row with a slam & legs. I haven’t seen a Gomez this hot since Morticia said something in French.
Marco Estrada – 5 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners, 8 Ks. He’s been sparkling with more Ks than innings (104 in 100 2/3 IP) and a 1.21 WHIP. Unfortunately, it’s like he learned pitch economy from a Greek economist. Definitely worth owning in most mixed leagues, especially when the matchups are right. “Hey, I’ll be the judge of that,” says the Stream-o-Nator.
Brett Jackson – 1-for-3 with his 3rd homer in the last 4 games. He’s still striking out at an insane rate (on pace for around 200 Ks over the course of a full season), but he’s swinging a hot bat now. I’m trying to decide if I want to drop Thayer or DeJesus for him, as I try to remember why I have Thayer and DeJesus.
Josh Beckett – 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks. He barely got to see his new city or screw Alyssa from Los Angeles and he’s already taking the mound in Coors. Welcome to the NL West, now pitch it its worst park. He should now see a bunch of terrible teams in good pitchers parks for the month of September. I’m not a huge fan of Beckett. Actually, I’m like one of those handheld fans’ newborn babies. A wee fan. In Dodgers Stadium and facing a bunch of crizzappy offenses, isn’t bad for some matchup value the rest of the way.
Tyler Colvin – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 15th homer. I’m going for an over/under of 4 homers this week from Colvin in Coors as he writes the followup song to his hit single called, “Sunny Came Home With The Runs.”
Luke Gregerson – Recorded his 2nd save yesterday. Last week, Thayer went home to watch his wife give birth to their child, Thupac, and Bud Black must not have agreed with Thayer and his wife’s West Coast bias, preferring they name the kid, Thiggie Thalls. Whatever the case, it looks like Gregerson is now the closer. I’d lose Thayer for Gregerson if you’re hurting for saves.
Casey Kelly – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks. The converted shortstop has made a nice transition for a herbathrowdite. For this year, he’s nothing more than a Hodgepadre that will be watched closely because of an elbow issued that had shut him down for close to four months. In NL-Only keepers, I’d look to stash him since he has the upside of a number three starter who throws a heavy fastball in Petco.
Franklin Gutierrez – 1-for-2 with 2 steals as he was activated from the DL after missing the last two months with a concussion. He said, “If the Big FraGu can’t kick start this M’s lineup, I’ll go right back to Milwaukee and make it big as a dancer.”
Felix Hernandez – 9 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks. This game came out almost as pretty as every interruption of its billing, “F-Her against the Twins.”
Tyler Skaggs – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks as he came up one out short of a Quality Start, making sure people who don’t have Wins in their fantasy leagues still have something to complain about.
Jacoby Ellsbury – 2-for-4, 2 runs, and a solo homer. You can’t do it all yourself, Jacoby! *looks around the Red Sox clubhouse* Well, you got Pedroia.
Daisuke Matsuzaka – 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks and struckout Moustakas twice. Gonna be embarrassing for the nice Greek boy to explain to his family how he got beat by a gyro ball.
Alfredo Aceves – Bobby Valentine says he hasn’t made a decision yet about Aceves’s role. With Punto off to LA, there might be an opening for piss boy.
Adrian Beltre – 3-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 25th homer. He hit for the cycle last week and had a three-homer game, so by comparison, yesterday’s game was a slow roller to 2nd as he sharted down the base paths.