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The Tigers playoffs hopes just took a shot in the lower extremities.  Now if they get to the playoffs, they’ll have to pitch Verlander 4 times in a 5 game series with Miggy pitching the other game.  That’s not our concern though, is it?  Of course, it isn’t.  Our concern is on the fantasy diamond, which is also what you proposed to your baby’s mama with.  “Shizz is on layaway, baby, you know I got you when my checks come in.  Now let’s run off to City Hall, and make this thing official before your pops comes for my nuts.”  Max Scherzer left after 2 innings yesterday due to right shoulder fatigue.  Here’s what his left shoulder had to say, “I told that honkey-ass shoulder to take a damn catnap!”  Wow, harsh words from the left shoulder.  This late in the season there’s no way Scherzer is going to come back so you can go ahead and lose him in non-keepers.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Quintin Berry – Left yesterday’s game with a shoulder injury.  It’s an epidemic!

Miguel Cabrera – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 6 RBIs and his 39th and 40th homers.   This is the first time he’s hit forty homers in a season and he’s the first Tiger to hit 40 homers since Cecil Fielder.  When reached for comment, Cecil said, “Hey, Prince, call me sometime.  I’m your father.  Blubber runs through our veins!”

Clayton Kershaw – The prayer triangle worked again!  He was diagnosed with a hip impingement.  That sounds like when a large person gets stuck in a turnstile at an amusement park, but it’s good news.  He could pitch by the end of this month.

Alejandro De Aza – 2-for-4 with his 8th homer.  That’s the Mr. Brady homer.  If you’re going by the phone keys.

Gordon Beckham – 1-for-4 with his 16th homer.  He now has 3 homers in the last ten games and is batting near .350 in the last week.  For Beckham, he may as well be walking on the moon.  Feet that don’t touch the ground, or hardly make any sound.  Beckham’s walking on the moon.

Krispie Young – Left yesterday’s game aggravating his right quad.  He said he liked his left quad better and then his right quad was like, “I don’t need this crap, I’m aggravated!”  Can we just pretend Krispie never came back from his early season shoulder injury?

Ian Kennedy – 8 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks.  His peripherals are nearly identical to last year only his ERA bumped up almost a run.  As expected, he’s more of a 3.75 to 4.00 ERA guy rather than a sub-3.  I imagine next year he’ll be drafted exactly as he is, which is a number three fantasy starter.

Carlos Gonzalez – He thought he might be able to start yesterday’s game, but he was scratched after he couldn’t run at 100%.  Hanley Ramirez hasn’t run at full speed since his rookie year, get on the field!

David Huff – 4 1/3 IP, 3 ER.  He was a hot name bandied about in the comments because of the Stream-o-Nator.  As Rudy mentioned on a podcast a few weeks ago, small sample sizes are gonna wreck a bit of havoc on the Stream-o-Nator.  When it sees 5 scoreless innings and that’s it, it starts thinking you’re Cy Young in The Fly machine with Lefty Grove.

Lonnie Chisenhall – 1-for-5 with his 5th homer.  Not bad since he’s only played in 32 games.  Oh, just face it, I’m gonna be excited about him next year.  For now, he’s hitting near .300 in the last eight games with 2 homers.  It’s not Mike Schmidt Jr., but it’s not terrible.

Danny Espinosa – MRI showed only a bruise and Espinosa hopes to return on Wednesday.   Wednesday called and said I hope so, because I have Brock Freakin’ Holt starting at middle infield.

Nate Eovaldi – 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Whoa, whoa, whoa, pardner!  Here’s me the last three months, “Nate Eovaldi is good, but no one will let him throw more than 100 pitches or past the 5th inning.”  So, in the Marlins’ infinite wisdom, they wait until the games mean nothing and throw Eovaldi for 8 innings and 114 pitches?  That’s crazy…like an Ozzie!

Steve Cishek – 1/3 IP, 3 ER.  From the Showtime series, The Franchise, we learned Steve Cishek is scared of the dark, so he better install some lights in Ozzie’s doghouse.

Giancarlo Stanton – Will be rested until Friday with soreness in his left side.  I hope I didn’t hurt him when I poured hot wax on his soft, supple skin.  Oh, wait, this is fantasy baseball not baseball fantasies.  My bad!

Kyle Lohse – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks to lower his ERA to 2.71 and hand the Astros their 100th loss.  There’s always next year, Houston, when you’re in a division with the Rangers, A’s and Angels.  It’s only the best AL division that has been beating the AL at a .589 clip since the ASB.  Maybe the M’s and ‘Stros can start their own division.  Call it the Weird AL division.

Cameron Maybin – Sat out yesterday with a sore Achilles.  He said, “It’s hard to walk right… At you baby… But here’s my number… So call me, Maybin?”

Yonder Alonso – 2-for-3, 1 RBI and now hitting near .450 in the last week.  He hasn’t shown a lot of power (thanks, Petco!), but he’s looking like he could be a .300 hitter by next year.  For right now, he’s a hot schmotato that I’d grab if I needed some counting stats and average.

Chris Nelson – 2-for-3 with a steal, hitting .500 over the last week as he continues to hit the cover off the ball.  Roy Hobbs, “Hey, that’s my shtick!”

Wilin Rosario – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs as he hit his 25th homer to tie a Rockies rookie record.  He did miss a few catchable balls that were ruled wild pitches.  He easily leads the majors leagues with twenty passed balls and said after the game, “Every ball I miss, you can see that most of the time I don’t miss that same ball again.  It might be a different one, but it’s not the same one.”  So when he goes to pick up the passed ball, he’s not kicking it away.  That’s good.

Tim Lincecum – 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks to get his ERA below 5 for the first time all year.  Yes, it’s been a weird year.  On the bright side, he’s sporting an ERA right around 3 since the All-Star Break.  That was your mind on drugs, this is not.

Marco Scutaro – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 1 RBI, now batting near .500 in the last week, and he brought pasta back from Asia.

Erasmo Ramirez – 8 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Was a big time grab by the Stream-o-Nator (117!), but Wilhelmsen forked over the win and gave up two inherited runs that were tacked onto Erasmo’s line.  Now the Stream-o-Nator and Wilhelmsen are gonna have words.  And it’s not gonna be pretty.

Corey Hart – He reported no progress with his foot.  A stalemate, huh?  Has he tried to offer it a new pair of socks?   Corey said, “I will not negotiation with my feet!”  Okay, dude, take it easy.

Yovani Gallardo – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Start looked even better on my team before Cishek took the business end of a toilet bowl brush and rubbed my stats with it.

Norichika Aoki – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 27th steal with six steals stolen off Barajas in the game (3 from Braun).  See, Dr. Dre was right:  B******s ain’t sh*t.  At least I think the title of that song is really about Barajas.

Erick Aybar – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 1 RBI and a steal.  He’s hitting near .500 in the last week with 3 steals.  He learned everything he knows from Mike Trout.

Mike Napoli – 2-for-3 with his 2nd homer since his return from the DL.  When he hits homers, he hits them in bunches like a horny monkey.

Homer Bailey – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks.  He’s now strung together four straight quality starts, after facing the Lastros twice, the Cubs and the Pirates.  He’ll get the Dodgers and Pirates in his final two starts.  I’m Bailey-shy because of how many times he’s burned me, but those aren’t two terrible starts.

Jeremy Hellickson – 4 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks vs. the Po’ Sawx.  This game didn’t fit into any narrative I could have imagined early yesterday.  Hellickson doesn’t strike people out and the Red Sox are dealing with The Curse of Johnny Pesky.  Hellickson, you bewilder me and not in the good way like a random girl on the street saying, “I fancy mustaches.”

A.J. Griffin – 4 2/3 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Today I didn’t even start A.J.  I got to say it was a good day.

Coco Crisp – Left yesterday’s game with pink eye.  GLAAD said they were proud of Coco’s stand against Yunel.

  1. Racehorse says:
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    Grey,

    Tonight…

    Mark Reynolds @ Felix Hernandez
    Chris Nelson @ Matt Cain

    Who do I go with, Reynolds or Nelson????

    Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Nelson

  2. later tater says:
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    hi grey

    quick q:

    who to spot start tomorrow

    fiers @ home v pit
    anibal home v oak
    j garcia home v astros

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Anibal

  3. Jon says:
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    What’s the worst of these 4 starts? Need to start 3, preferably. Was hoping I could sit two but I lost a start from Zimmermann. H2H playoffs.

    Anderson @ DET
    Fiers @ PIT
    Lester vs BAL
    Minor @ PHI

    Thanks!

    • Jon says:
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      (I’m already behind in Wins, Ks, WHIP and ERA.)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Anderson

  4. Deadwoods says:
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    After last night, my ERA & WHIP are shot, so I’m aiming for W and K categories. Chris Archer is favored by odds line and is mentioned a lot this morning in Fantasy circles. Should I start him against Boston? Thanks

    • Deadwoods says:
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      @Deadwoods, And I don’t know if this is relevant, but my opponent has 6 relief pitchers versus 5 starters.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I wouldn’t in most leagues…

  5. jackinthebox says:
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    What would you recommend doing with the once and future Jobacum if I am in a keeper? We keep 5 and my team already consists of Longoria, Tex, Castro, Heyward, Zimmerman, Bumgarner, Gallardo, Latos, Chapman….actually I think I just answered my own question, he’s droppable on my team.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      He is…

  6. golfnut says:
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    Streamonator sucks…….I picked up Huff and Griffen…….they blew my era and whip. I sat Gallardo….he rocked. Chisek sucked as my RP……my playoff run is over.

    • Holmes says:
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      @golfnut,

      The Streamonator should be used as a suggestion, but will not produce definite results. Its not like Razzball came up with something that predicts the future bro . . . also, its Wednesday, you can still pick up pitchers to even them out.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      That sucks…

    • Prezii says:
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      @golfnut, you sat gallardo @ pitt? SON isnt god… If you asked grey he would have told you to start him. Hell, i would start myself against Pittsburgh….

  7. Jon says:
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    Do you like starting Lawrie or Rasmus more in the double-header at Yankee Stadium today? I’m positive one of those two (if not both) will drop an 0-8 or 1-10 or something on me.

    Those rainouts really messed with my week, by the way. I have AGon, Victorino, Desmond, Zimmerman, Cano and those two Blue Jays on my team – so pretty much half of my hitters were unavailable, and I lost Zimmermann’s two-start week, too. Not going well so far in my H2H finals…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Rasmus… Yeah, I could see how that could happen… Bad time for it to happen…

  8. Holmes says:
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    Grey,

    Love the blog, and I am pretty sure that I can speak for many on this blog, when I say that you and the website are one of the major parts of why we are so deep in the playoffs.

    Anyways, trying to figure out if I should pick up Marte, Reddick, or yonder the rest of the week. I need average, singles, and total bases. Please look into your crystal ball and predict the future. Thanks.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks for the kind words! Yonder…

  9. royce! says:
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    Dylan Bundy’s getting called up.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Probably because of that extra inning game… Did it ever end?

      • royce! says:
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        @Grey, Yes, definitely because of the extra inning game, and yeah, eventually, thanks in part to the M’s going 0 for 17 with RISP. Sounds like it was a blast! That oughta show those football fans which sport is more interesting!

        I don’t know much about service time issues, but it seems to me that now that they’ve called him up they’re not going to just demote him after a few days so he could be good for MR stats. Obviously he’s a pickup in dynasties.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Ha! Yeah, I got a couple nice oh-for-7’s… I think it means they can still sit on him until June 1st of next year though…

  10. El Famous Burrito says:
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    Stream-O-Nator Update:

    Jeremy Guthrie’s start on Friday was moved up to Thursday. Instead of The Indians, he’s getting The White Sox.

    Any chance you could plug that into the matrix and run it?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Huh?

      • El Famous Burrito says:
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        @Grey,

        From ESPN: “Jeremy Guthrie will have his next start moved up to Thursday, according to the Royals’ official Twitter feed.”

        Right now, Stream-O-Nator (which I love, BTW) has Guthrie facing Cleveland on Friday, instead of The White Sox on Thursday. That has to produce a different number for streaming.

  11. Chris says:
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    Happy September everyone.

    Start Derek Holland tonight at Anaheim-no-its-totally-LA?

    He’s been hot but LAA can hit.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      You too! I wouldn’t in most leagues…

  12. Chillmodious says:
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    Oof, lineup in major flux. Forsythe, EverCab, and Napoli are available… do I make any changes with this roster?:

    C – Wilin
    1B – Youkilis
    2B – Howie Kendrick
    3B – Moustakas
    SS – Jimmy Rollins
    MI – Kipnis
    CI – Rizzo
    OF – McCutchen
    OF – Bruuuuuce
    OF – Desmond Jennings
    OF – Coco Crisp
    OF – Carlos Gomez
    Util – Espinosa
    Util – Dewayne Wise

    Bench – Starling Marte

    ———————————-
    Here’s my thought process…

    I grabbed Marte as a batty call but never dropped him and I’m generally against holding a bench bat, so he seems likely. I was about to boot Espinosa because of the shoulder, but then I read that he received a cortisone shot and will be back in today’s lineup (cortisone shot to slumping player’s shoulder = hello power stroke). Coco got yanked last night with his pink eye, but should also be back soon. And Dewayne Wise puts the fear of a random off-day in my mind. I have this feeling Napoli will be valuable over the next 5 days, but Forsythe has been on fire of late. Need help in deciding what to do. Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’d lose Marte and grab Napoli…

      • Chillmodious says:
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        @Grey, My thinking too. In that case, who is the odd man out of the lineup today?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Wise

  13. Crispin says:
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    Start A Rod in a doubleheader or Choo-se something a little different in and OBP league where I have Trout and Beltre so nothing matters anyway?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Start A-Rod…

  14. fyodor says:
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    Hey Grey.

    Looking for a starter for Saturday. Would you use Wily Peralta at Washington, or Chris Tillman at Boston?

    Thanks for your help.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Tillman

  15. Jack Full of Hate says:
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    I just replaced Mad Max with Bailey, who also happens to be the name of my mom’s female cat, I think the swap will ensure that my anxiety will not change at all.

    Off to the fair, will be there all day and hopefully I can gain a pound if i pace myself just right…oh, I’m suppose to be working.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Get you some deep friend Twinkies!

  16. BoneFace n Harmony says:
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    Not starting Brett tonight, and now am intrigued by Jaime at home v. Astros tomorrow. Make the switch? Its semi finals, so I guess Anderson would only have one more start after the one tonight anyways…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, switch them up…

  17. Chillmodious says:
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    For tomorrow, I can pick up and throw all of the following…

    Jaime Garcia vs. Houston (SON 116)
    Mike Fiers @ Pittsburgh (SON 113)
    Jeremy Guthrie vs. ChiSox (SON ?) [he gets a 102 for Friday vs. Cleveland, but his start was moved up to Thursday vs. the White Sox]

    Who do I throw and who do I not throw (if anyone)?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’d only start Garcia…

  18. I was hoping Uggla went 0-4 with 3ks and a movie script as predicted… I wanted to be able to redefine the Ugglaw. Section one of the Ugglaw describes the low-average, high-power roller-coaster ride that so many players use to entice, exhaust, and ultimately disappoint us–except those times when he’s actually hitting. Section two of the Ugglaw explains that even when we’re frustrated because we bench a guy on a big day, the Ugglaw prevails and he continues to suck as we should (but, defiantly, do not) struggle against other laws of Razzballeros that pull such players toward the Mendoza Line.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      The Ugglaw clearly defines he will not stop sucking entirely until he is dropped and added by our direct frenemy…

      • @Grey, ahh, must be the long-lost Section three of the Ugglaw from the Code of Grey and Hammrudy stored in the fabled 973rd document of the Dead Sea Scrolls. Good thing we had Frank, Joe, and their less talented brother J.J. Hardy on the case lest the last bit may never have resurfaced. Only nagging injuries and freaky homer binges…

  19. vinko says:
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    Approaching my innings limit, who would be a better start this evening between Harvey v Phi or Cahill v SD?

    Also, how are you and Rudy doing in your money league? (the one you could win up to $8,000.)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Cahill… We’re in 2nd place and well within reach of 1st… About 3 steals off the league lead… Thanks for asking!

  20. I'm Keith Hernandez says:
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    Keepers for 2013 6×6 league with BB’s as 6th category:

    Please rank: Trout, Vott, Dread Pirate, Hamilton.

    We can only keep 3, thinking of offering the 3rd and 4th best of the players above for Braun or Miguel Cabrera.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      You ranked them…

  21. Grey

    Grey says:
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    *****THERE’S A NEW POST FOR FOLLOWUPS*****

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