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As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I take a look at my life and realize there’s nothin’ left
Cause I’ve been toutin and praisin Domonic so long,
That even Grey and Jay(Wrong) think that my mind is gone
But I ain’t never praised a man that didn’t deserve it
“Sir” Dom or Beddict treated like a punk? you know that’s unheard of
You better watch how you manage and how you baller block.
Or you and your staff  gonna be given your papers to walk
I really hate to trip but I gotta loc
As Mayberry chokes, I see myself in the Payote smoke, fool
I’m the kinda writer/model the little homies wanna be like
On my knees sacrificing goats every night saying prayers to the Elder Gods in the streetlight
Been Speeeeending most my life, livin’ in the Models/strippers/writers Paradise!

THE SECOND GAME OF THE SEASON! You have the audacity to bench Domonic Brown, the Elder God blessed, champion of a man, who hit 27 bombs and 83 RBI’s in 139 games. The former number one prospect in the wondrous game of baseball, the 6-5, 230 pound stallion that women want and men want to be, IN THE SECOND GAME OF THE SEASON!? Hold up, play my theme music on full blast for the rest of this post. This beat got me feelin real froggy and Ryne Sandberg is making a playa like me wanna leap! Dearest Ryno, please inform the general public at once, why it is you’re starting the inept John Mayberry over an All-Star and all around nice guy, “Dom P.” Brown. Don’t you dare tell us it’s because Mayberry hits better against lefties; Mayberry hit .240 last season whereas Domonic hit over .250. This is beyond laughable! Brown was BY FAR the Phillies best player last year and this is how he’s rewarded? Hitting 6th in the lineup and that’s if he’s even given the opportunity to play? Can I reiterate the fact we’re talking about an ALL-STAR player here, who obliterated his competition in the minor leagues? Failure is simply not possible for this transcendent talent, UNLESS you mess with his head and start sitting him every other day. Brown’s only failures on record are when the Phillies inexplicably had him on their major league roster, yet refused to play him a few years back, and the year before that he broke his wrist. This has catastrophic disaster written all over it, and it disgusts me to no end. Brown started every game but there that he was healthy enough to suit for last season. He’s already 1/3 of the way there this year and I’m appalled.

The Phillies are an obvious over-the-hill franchise with no young talent on the roster, other than 3rd basement Cody Asche and the aforementioned Brown. If you’re a manager, why in the name of the Gods would you think about sitting you’re only All-Star talent? Why is Mayberry Jr. ever seeing the field, unless it’s pinch hitting or giving the 48-year-old Marlon Byrd a day off to rest his arthritic hips? What do the Phillies plan to accomplish this season? I can tell you that I will tattoo “Razzballs” on my shaven bean bag if Philly makes the playoffs this year. I might do that anyway, but you get what I’m saying. You have a star caliber player on your roster, who’s still only 26 years of age and should be hitting his prime right now, but you’d rather start Mayberry? Mayberry’s not even a has-been at 30. He’s a never was. Wintertime rumors were flying that Philadelphia was actively shopping Brown. Well, unless you’re telling me that all 29 other teams wanted nothing to do with a former number one prospect, coming off his breakout season, an All-Star season, I’d say that’s a joke… only I’m not laughing. Philly, if you so desperately want to rid yourselves of Brown, please do all the fans of Major League Baseball a favor and trade him ASAP! I’ve only been this outraged twice in my life: 1) Was after witnessing the disgraceful series finale of The Sopranos. 2) Was finding out that the next A Song of Fire of Ice (Game of Thrones), was pushed back again and hearing there’s no end in sight (it huuuuuuuuurts).

I promise not to focus on Domonic in every post this season [Ed. Note-- I'll believe it when I see it...], but not even Kentucky frying my beloved chicken alive could take me to this level of distraught-ness. An absolute dream killer… Could this be Domonic going down the same path as Nicolas Cage? Starting with so much promise, blowing $150 mill on Scottish castles and exotic glass, then being forced to take ANY work he can get as it’s all he can do to keep himself and his maniacal son out of prison? Say it ain’t so, Dommy!

The Elder Gods spoke to me last night in my Chantix induced dream, informing me that Ryne Sandberg won’t last two seasons as manager if he continues making these exasperating, rookie mistakes. Frankly, I hope he’s canned next week as I shall never forget the shame he’s put upon young Domonic.

Greetings! And welcome to the first installment of Delight/Disgrace, Where I, Tehol Beddict, will give you a run down on everything I found delightful or, wait for it, disgraceful, within the past week of fantasy baseball/baseball in general. I may even touch on some subjects that aren’t baseball related from time to time, if that’s okay with you. You get the idea, right? Do you smell what the Beddict is cooking!?!??! Cool, let’s cannon ball right into this pool then.

Here’s what I found Disgraceful in MLB this week:

Managers not announcing their Closers- Seriously, what is the purpose in holding out on giving this information? It literally gives you zero competitive advantage whatsoever, nor can it be possibly be beneficial to your clubhouse. Robin Ventura, the guy who had the brakes beat off him by Nolan Ryan, also Manager of the White Sox, shocked the world by naming the man formerly known as “A Disaster Waiting to Happen,”as his closer. You may know him as Matt Lindstrom but take it from me, things will get uglier than a Tom Arnold/Roseanne, bath-salt induced, sex-tape. You see, I’ve owned Matty Lice each and every time he’s been named closer throughout his career, going back to 2008 when I was just an innocent stripper trying to find my way in this world. To put it simply: Lindstrom is an abomination to the title of “closer”. Take last year for example: Lindstrom dropped a 1.434 WHIP on us. Some combination of his gruesome career numbers and his ineptitude in handling the closer role time and time again won over Robin, and here we are. Lindstrom being on any major league roster is puzzling enough, but naming him closer over the superior talent and supposed front runner, Nate Jones (Who? Nate Jooooones), is downright incomprehensible. I will be utterly shocked if Lindstrom makes it through the season as closer. (Beddict Note: As I was writing this, aforementioned Nate Jones came in for 7nth inning and promptly was lit up by the pathetic Twins. Things are bad in Chi-Town.) 

Ron Roenicke, you dog, you! Your sneakiness is unparalleled. In waiting ’till the first save opportunity, Ro-Ro shocked us by throwing K-Rod out there  instead of Jim Henderson. It seems Henderson still needs time to work out some kinks but will supposedly get the job back when he’s “ready”. I believe that K-Rod deserves a closing role somewhere and am shocked that he, yet again, was not offered one somewhere. Am I missing something here? Matt Lindstrom and Tommy Hunter can be closers, but K-Rod, one of the greatest of all time, cannot? It’s like James Woods not get getting lead roles in film even though he kills every roll he’s ever received. One major difference here though: K-Rod was a leading man before, making this all the more baffling. I for one, hope he keeps the job.

Bobby ParnellGlad I drafted Parnell in three different leagues this season, as well as recommending him to clients. They say he’s going to rest for two weeks than attempt a throwing program after an MRI showed a torn elbow ligament. Ummmm, I’m going to go out on a limb and tell you he’s done. Don’t even bother putting on the DL. GREAT WAY TO START THE SEASON, EH GUYS!!?!?

Jose ValverdePapa Grande is once again a closer in MLB. Wow. Just wow. Giving Grande the ball in the 9th and expecting success is like attempting to shoot a film, starring Tom Sizemore, within 300 yards of a meth lab. This can’t end well.

Billy HamiltonYou can see I don’t have a lot to work with if I’m dogging Billy HAM after just one pathetic performance. I’m going to give him a pass since it was against the Elder God blessed, Adam Wainwright, but he looked lost at the plate. Not what those of you who drafted him in the 4th or 5th round wanted to see. No need to panic yet.

LaTroy Hawkins - Hawkins hasn’t done anything YET to get stuck on this list, but I’d love for someone to give me a valid explanation as to why a team would sign this old head to come in be their closer. Hawkins is ancient and only has had brief instances of success throughout his 100 year-long career. Colorado Rockies, you have Rex Brothers. Did you really feel that bringing in an abysmal closer was what this team needed? Brothers isn’t quite Kanley Jansen (nobody is), but this seems grossly similar to last year’s Dodger situation, where they had brought in Brandon League seemingly for no ef’ing reason other than trying to enrage me. You can’t tell me Brothers isn’t superior to 10-15 closers in baseball right now. This move just disgusts me and thought it deserved mentioning as I haven’t touched on it. Moving on.

C.C. SabathiaLooked great in spring and he had me touting him as a steal anywhere after the 15th/16th round. Nice little match-up to open the season against a pathetic Astros team aaaaaaand yea, he got bent over and shown all 50 states. Ceece recovered just enough for me to give him ONE more chance. Still, this was obviously frightful site for Sabathia owners and we may have to except the end isn’t just near, but that it’s here.

 Other Disgraceful News This Week:

LeBron James dropping a mix-tape. Normally I wouldn’t care, and I wouldn’t necessarily call this a “disgraceful”, but I have to question at the timing of this. Right before the playoffs are to begin, this dude has been trying to perfect his rapping? What’s the purpose here? And to top it off, he has a guest feature from former correctional officer, William Roberts AKA Rick Ross AKA Officer Ricky, and I just can’t get behind that.

The Puff Daddy “Big Homie” song/video. This is truly, TRASH! I sacrificed three lambs to the Elder Gods today, asking that they disallow Puffy from ever performing on record again. I can’t even make it through two minutes to fully review the video. Track also features French Montana and the aforementioned Officer Ross, two of the biggest frauds in rap history.

Brooke Burke forced to do field sobriety test after crashing her Maserati. How dare you question the Goddess that is Brooke Burke (NSFW). I am absolutely appalled. It is impossible for a woman of this caliber to ever be guilty of a crime, though she did steal my heart in 2001.

MLB News that gave me Delight:

Paul Goldschmidt- Is this one of Grey the Elder’s greatest call of all time or what? Goldy is half Minotaur/half God. Beautiful start for one of baseball’s brightest young stars.

Brandon Belt- Is this the year where a new crop of first basemen claim their spots in the first few rounds of future fantasy drafts? Three of my favorites: Belt, Matt Adams, and Justin Smoak are hotter than the North Dakota Oil rush, and I for one am jumping all over them if any are available somehow. Yep, I was sold that quickly.

Erasmo RamirezDid someone tell you “the Eraser” wasn’t a star? Somebody lied. If the Mariners win the World Series, Grey is officially a prophet. Add Erasmo in all formats, NOW.

Franciso LirianoWhy did Liriano drop to a pathetically low spot in all fantasy drafts I participated in this year? I honestly don’t know but he’s officially back to last year’s form as total master of destruction. It hurts me so deep, that year after year I drafted Liriano, hoping and praying he’d return to his pre Tommy-John form, and the year he finally did, was the first year I had given up. Never give up on your dreams, people!  I deserve to be spanked for this blatant disrespect of Liriano, and for that I’ll call Veronica. DM me if you want pics.

Johnny Cueto - Guess who’s back in the mother ef’in house, with a fat pitch for you mother ef”in mouth. Bro’s recognize, batters do too. Cuz when Cueto get funky and pull a voodoo. He’s back ya’ll.

Brad Miller- Mighty Brad Miller, swinging his bat like Conan the Barbarian, absolutely crushed two bombs in Anaheim Tuesday night. Is 25 out of the question? I think not. Witness.

Other things that Delighted me this past week: 

Finished Black Sails: Season 1. My favorite television series in some time. Stunning cinematography and great acting. It’s on STARZ and here’s an inside look. I highly recommend you check this out as it’s one of the few shows I can sit through without surfing the web or trolling Tinder.

Finished Banshee: Season 2. Another classic television show, this one on Cinemax, that I recently discovered. The action is a little over the top but hey, I come from the generation of Seagal and Van Damme, and  I live for this type of shizz. This action and sex packed beauty of show has already introduced some of the greatest TV villains of all time. You have a roided out Albino queen who runs the show in prison, and the fiercest/largest Native American man I’ve ever witnessed. It’s as if the Elder Gods themselves have heard my prayers and witnessed my sacrifices over the years, for they have created two television shows that I cannot live without.

banshee-episode-6

The NCAA Tourney: One of the greatest March Madness’es I can remember. The lack of talent in college basketball upsets me, and that’s why I prefer the NBA. But one cannot deny the absolute insanity of this particular tournament. Numerous games down to the wire. Countless cold-blooded shots. I can’t take much more. THIS IS MADNESS!!!

TMNT Trailer- This is huge ya’ll! I haven’t been this pumped since Secret of the Ooze came out and Vanilla Ice captured the nation with the smash, “Go Ninja, Go!.” I will be at the IMAX day one. Who’s coming with me? [Ed. Note-- Uh, thanks. I'll pass...]

Okay guys. I’m taking one of the hottest women I’ve ever witnessed to the famous play, The Little Shop of Horrors this evening so I must cut our time together short. Hopefully Jay is able to make some of this readable before tomorrow. If you don’t already, you need to follow me on twitter at @TeholBeddict47, for it’s one of the best out there. Does that come off as cocky? I prefer the term: Cocksure. Good luck and see you next week. 

  1. Alan says:
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    Oh man, I got a question now

    In a keep forever league (5 keepers), 3 OF, 2 UT, C, 1B, 2B, 3B, SS

    If you had Belt and 1B elig Ortiz, if choo’s all-around game would help you, okay to trade Freeman for Choo.

    Just dont want to regret trading Freeman in a keep forever league.

    This would leave me to keep braun, jose f, bautista, choo and cano next year. Also have Baez stashed.

    Thanks

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Alan: I’m nowhere near as high on Freeman as most. He bores me but this is a keeper league but Belt could be your huckleberry.im totally fine with the trade

  2. King Trout says:
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    Word. That was awesome. Thanks for speaking the truth.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @King Trout: Your Highness, you are quite welcome

  3. Nico

    Nico says:
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    It’s funny how Eric K******l of E**N kills the Mets every chance he gets (so I’m told from coworkers), and he roots for a team that is questionably more disgraceful at this point in time. Both poorly run organizations right now, but how do you sit Dom Brown from a baseball standpoint? I’m not as high on him as you are from a fantasy sense, but the guy is a ball player.

    Anyway, how’d the date go?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Nico: @Nico: Yea, I truly don’t understand it. Nothing could hurt me worse.

      On a high note, the date went superbly. Saw “Little shop of horrors.” I’ve never seen the movie with Rick Moranis. Is it worth a watch?

      • Nico

        Nico says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: I wish I could say I’ve seen it… Sorry to let you down…

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Nico: THE HELL YOU SAY

  4. Fungazi says:
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    Is that Powder in that picture? Brown blows man, get over him.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Fungazi: NEVER!!! blows? Based on what?? U need to drop some knowledge on me here if u want any hope of swaying me

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: He could probably just copy and paste everything I’ve ever wrote on him…

        And at first, I thought that guy was an Observer from Fringe.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Jay: yea I’ll have to go back and check that out Jay dog. I just try to avoid negative commentary one of the Elder Gods ‘s favorites. It makes them angry

      • Fungazi says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Sheesh.. look at his numbers 2011-2013 and then take out May/13 and average out each year for 162 games.

        He’s in a weak lineup, so give him 70 runs and 80 rbi max. Then throw out some outliers like a .265 avg in 2013 (without May) and you get a .245 avg and 8 SB, then suppose he’s more of a 20 HR guy than a 14 HR guy like his 2011-12 showed. What do you get? 70-20-80-8-.245.

        Or you could get 56-21-68-6-.251. Wait, that’s Nate Schierholtz.

        Shazzam!

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Fungazi: dude,2011 and 12 were wasted years. he had a broken wrist and then was F*cked with and platooned and for the other season when he should have been in minors. look at his minor league stats and look up anything ever written about it when he was number 1 in baseball

          • Fungazi says:
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            @Tehol Beddict: Yeah I know your arguments for him, and I posted mine. I do have him in one league since someone much, much smarter than me already dropped him. Time will tell.

            • Tehol Beddict says:
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              @Fungazi: Pray with Fungazi. Pray with me. get on ur knees

  5. Moronymous Lohse says:
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    Great post Tehol. Yeah one of Weird Al’s best. That other dude with the Michelle Pfeiffer version can get the bozack!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Moronymous Lohse: Not a Coolio fan? Weird Al is a God! Glad you enjoyed. appreciate it

  6. 2 Cups 1 Braun says:
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    10 team OBP league where my team is light on steals…would you drop Dom Brown for someone like Bonifacio or Dexter Fowler?

    • Nico

      Nico says:
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      @2 Cups 1 Braun: Is Brown your worst rostered player right now?

      • 2 Cups 1 Braun says:
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        @Nico: Actually yes. My outfield is Trumbo, Cuddyer, Bautista and Gordon.

        • Nico

          Nico says:
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          @2 Cups 1 Braun: I’m not anyone special on here, but I’d say if he’s an extra outfielder, don’t do anything just yet. Gordon will get you some steals. If Brown ends up getting locked in mid-summer at Citizen Bank, he could have another big run of HR’s in a short amount of time.

          • Tehol Beddict says:
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            @Nico: you’re special to me, Nico. Plus you made the right call here. Kudos

            • Nico

              Nico says:
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              @Tehol Beddict: haha wait…. Did we go see “Little Shop of Horrors” together? …Inception….

              • Tehol Beddict says:
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                @Nico: Im Leo

              • Tehol Beddict says:
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                @Nico: WAIT!!! I’m Tom Hardy, You’re Leo.

        • Sniff Test says:
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          @2 Cups 1 Braun: Who is your 2nd basemen?

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @2 Cups 1 Braun: yikes! Im not a gordon fan tho

    • Dead Head says:
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      @2 Cups 1 Braun: Bonifacio seriously? Just don’t do it man, just don’t. There has to be someone worse than Brown on your team, but if there isn’t I just wouldn’t worry about it. Trade later on in the season for someone useful. It’s literally the 2nd day of the season, you shouldn’t be dropping anybody who isn’t injured.

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Dead Head: good support there Head Dead. U are on point right here. he needed to here it

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @2 Cups 1 Braun: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! u didnt just ask me that! I am biased because Brown is the adopted african american brother I always wanted. Its too early to do that. Bonifacio will die out eventually but christ he’s hot. don’t want to risk losing nice season from brown for 1 hot week of fowler. do u have anyone else u can drop?

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: apparently nobody has ever started a season in modern era with 11 hits in first 3 games.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @goodfold2: its incredible. but don’t do domonic dirty, please

  7. Frank White says:
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    Yo Tehol Wutup!! Let me start by saying your blogs get better with time like a fin wine! When I heard about Lebron rapping it makes me sick. As a Hip Hop fan I woldnever in my whole life listen to any rap album or song from any sports star no mater how good it might be. It’s horrible and the more Ghetto you are basically the better you are, LOL not really but you get my drift, and they’re far from that. Ever snce Jermaine Dupree Said, Back in 2002 in Source magazine, said that Shaq was the best rapper out I laughed then never had any respect for Jermaine. Whoever would listen to sports players rapping are not true Hip Hop fans and are retarded!! Oh I got 4 year old twins and I watch the turtles cartoon religiously. I love it and I can’t wait for Karri to except splinter as her father! Lol but can’t wait for the movie. My son picked out a trtles tee shirt for me and he got me wairing it today.. LOL. Anyway my keyboard is giving me mad trouble and I’m about to throw it against the wall so I grabbed Valverde, shoud I drop him s I can have a streamer spot or no? I have Perkins also

    • Cram It says:
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      @Frank White: You have one closer? Probably maybe sorta kinda want to keep Valverde there.

      • Frank White says:
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        What’s up Cram it… You mind taking a look at my lineup and see if I have room for a steamer this early?

        • Cram It says:
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          @Frank White: Frank there’s always room for a steamer. I will gladly come over and drop one on your carpet.

          • Tehol Beddict says:
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            @Cram It: HAHAHAHHAHAHAH. thats gross bro. don’t do it hhahaha

          • Justin says:
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            @Cram It: HAHAHAHAHAHA Funniest shit I have heard in days right there ^^^^^^^

            • Tehol Beddict says:
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              @Justin: Frank ain’t been back since

          • Frank White says:
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            Lol.. That shits funny!!!

            • Tehol Beddict says:
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              @Frank White: Fraaaaaaank. Did cram drop a deuce on ur carpet???

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Cram It: def have to keep Papa Grande

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Frank White: And said life the deepest lesson is death
      I’m determined and I’m disciplined and destined to rest
      I’m a Gangsta and a Gentleman, Panero the best
      When I pass I’m like gas, motherF3ckers
      Cause I’m a leave a stain that you’ll never forget!!!

      WHAAAAT UP!!! save Valverde for now buddy. Perkulator will bounce back also. U hear that new styles P yet cuz?

      • Frank White says:
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        HaHa.. Nice.. Na I didn’t hear it, what’s the album called so I can download it immediately??

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Frank White: NOt out yet i don’t think. dropping soon. pumped

  8. Xavier says:
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    Hey – drop Victorino for Emilio benificio? Or drop Yelich? (Or both)? My of’s are Harper, Matt Holliday, pence & who ever I roll at the fourth slot. I also have Grady Sizemore since I moved Victorino to DL spot.
    Other OF available, kole Calhoun, leonys Martin, dexter fowler, Michael Brantley, Dustin ackley, brad miller (my other SS’s are Alexi Ramirez & Andrelton Simmons, I was maybe thinking of dropping one of them.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Xavier: Bonafacio is just hot at the moment. Everyone needs to calm down. He’s killing it right now at record pace but we know what this guy is. Leonys Martin is a guy Im very fond of. Yelich is solid but so young hasn’t got the body to produce ton of power this year. It depends on what your team needs. Miller has much more power than Alexi but doesnt have that caliber of speed. I suppose its about piecing together the perfect lineup and you def have some great pieces. I wouldn’t drop victorino or yelich for anyone but possibly Martin. probably would drop yelich for Martin but its not a guarantee

      • Xavier says:
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        @Tehol Beddict:

        The rest of my team goes as followed:

        C- Carlos Santana

        1b- goldschmidnt

        2b- pedroia

        SS see above

        IF- Eric Hosmer

        Of’s see above

        DH- Dunn

        Utility- Martin prado

        Bench- Salvador Perez, yelich, Sizemore (Victorino on DL)

        SP- Strasberg

        SP- Bumgarner

        SP- tanaka

        RP- papelbon

        RP- slot open using it for streaming

        Bench- zach wheeler & Gerrit cole

        Based on my team what do you think my need(s) are?

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Xavier: id drop sizemore for Martin right this second and start there. otherwise you’re pretty balanced. love the squad

  9. Just Make Pitch says:
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    MLB managers can be so idiotic sometimes. Did you happen to catch yesterday’s game when Matty Williams of the Nationals dared to bat Bryce Harper, the freakin’ best player on his team, 6th in the lineup?! #Disgrace

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Just Make Pitch: Why yes, I did notice that. I also noticed that Ive been touting and drafting a guy 5th overall thats batting 6th in a lineup!!!! Nobody anyone drafts in the first 8 rounds bats 6th in a lineup let alone guy 5th overall. Im absolutely appalled and disgusted. great #Disgrace call. my gods, I can’t take much more. Bryce give me a jack big daddy

  10. Sniff Test says:
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    I need your prophetic abilities to advice which 6 pitchers I should roster throughout the season. Yu Darvish, Cole Hamels, Ervin Santana, Jake Peavy, CC Sabathia, Erasmo Ramirez, Rick Porcello, Jake Odorizzi, Nate Eovaldi.

    When Yu comes off the DL, one of these guys goes.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Sniff Test: Id like to see Odorizzi pitch once before fully abusing him on the message board but I’m guessing he’s not making the cut here. Interested to see Santana in NL. CC scares me but Im the last one holding out hope. Probably leaving off aforementioned Odorizz, porcello and eovaldi though you could regret keeping sabathia. If it was my lineup I’d keep Sabathia tho. Erasmo is my boy!!!

  11. Clint says:
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    Hmmmm, I would’ve thought Sean Michaels’ intro music was more Tehol-esque, matching the avatar nearly perfectly but then again, there can only be one that has “the moves that really move ‘em and send chills up and down your spine….” and that’s JoBu baby!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Clint: i didnt watch much of Sean Michaels as individual. I mostly love him from his tag team days as “The Rockers” with my boy Marty Jannetty!! Shout out to him by the way.

      peep game

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFYN_7sc14k

      • Asst2RegionalMgr says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: thumbs up on a Marty Jannetty reference. Where else can I count on obscure references like this?

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Asst2RegionalMgr: NOWHERE!!!!! I’m the only one. keep coming back

  12. Cram It says:
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    Oh yeah, did you watch True Romance?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Cram It: Damn, I forgot!!! downloading now as we speak Cram Bam

      • Cram It says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: If you say soooooo. I’ll know you watched it when one of your leads is laden with references from it.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Cram It: Next week It will either be in delight or disgrace section. That much I can promise you

          • Principal Blackman says:
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            @Tehol Beddict: You won’t be disappointed.

          • Cram It says:
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            @Tehol Beddict: First “movie night” with a new chick, that’s what I throw in. If she doesn’t like it, she’s gone.

            • Tehol Beddict says:
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              @Cram It: Im the same way with Terminator 2: Judgement Day

              • Principal Blackman says:
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                @Tehol Beddict: I’m the same way with Scenes from a Marriage.

                • Tehol Beddict says:
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                  @Principal Blackman: haven’t seen that one yet either? shall I download it?

                  • FrankGrimes says:
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                    @Tehol Beddict: download Bad Lieutenant while you’re at it. make sure it’s the kick ass Harvey Keitel version not the waste of film Nic Cage version.

                    • Tehol Beddict says:
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                      @FrankGrimes: sounds good frank. Hold up!!! Did u just disrespect nic cage in my comment section? That’s a felony

                    • Principal Blackman says:
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                      @FrankGrimes: the Keitel version is indeed excellent, but the Cage version directed by Werner Herzog is far from a waste of film.

                  • Principal Blackman says:
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                    @Tehol Beddict: it’s legitimately one of my personal favorites, but I was joking about it being date night material. It is a three hour film (originally 6 hour long episodes) in Swedish about a relationship breaking down. But Liv Ulmann and Erland Josephson are two of the greatest actors of all time, and not many cinematographers are better than Sven Nykvist, and Ingmar Bergman is Ingmar Bergman, so there are plenty of reasons to check it out.

                    • goodfold2 says:
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                      @Principal Blackman: 2nd bad lieutenant is decent movie, if nothing else for the scene with the grandma and the scene with the gangsters “soul still dancing”/grew antlers and jumped over the guy part. first one is really good movie. there’s no way you won’t like True Romance.

  13. kid A's father says:
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    WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU SON?! GOD I WISH THAT ABORTION HAD WORKED

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @kid A’s father: I believe he’s been banned from my posts

      • Principal Blackman says:
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        I like the theory that you actually are Kid A much better.

    • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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      @kid A’s father: I think I saw him eating graham crackers on a park bench earlier in the hour.

        • Justin says:
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          @Tehol Beddict: Tehol I’ll be honest here I read the articles but rarely the comments, Who is kid A? Im curious?

          • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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            @Justin: Kid A is a commenter who hates Tehol. He wants to beat upon Tehol’s head with a pocketbook or Gareth’s litter pan pooper scooper.

            • gareth says:
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              Ah! So that’s where my scooper went…….

          • kid A's father says:
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            a constant disappointment and sexual deviant.

          • Tehol Beddict says:
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            @Justin: he took offense when I asked why he joined my Rcl after he kept insulting me all over razzball then he started a full on vendetta. I feel bad

    • Joel says:
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      As you are aware, I had a love affair with Brown. The worst possible person in my league drafted him ahead of me (a guy who never trades@kid A’s father: Kid A? As in Asperger’s?

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Joel: ughhhhhhhhh. Domonic please get it together. Kid A’s father seems like a nice enough guy.

  14. D Rich says:
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    Oh this might be your best performance as a professiona Teholl! I have the same hatred for Sandberg as you do! Mayberry? Byrd? Enough already!! Please kill me now…why did I sign up for Fantasy Baseball?! On a positive note Erasmo looks real nice! What do you see from the youngster for the rest of the year? He’s not on the dreaded innings limit is he….

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @D Rich: Riiiiiiiichy, thank you sir. I knew you’d appreciate this. fantasy baseball is not for the faint of heart. Erasmo is on that new god flow and Im expecting big things going forward. I see a big time season forthcoming. No innings limit that I’m aware of. He ready to rock!

  15. Joe G says:
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    Tehol who you like better kelton wong or chris owings?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Joe G: Im fairly high on Owings. Impressed with his play

  16. Julio White says:
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    I’m not really keeping track, but it looks like you’ve blown the calls on:

    1- Dom Brown
    2- Bryce Harper
    3- Parnell
    4- CC

    All in the first week!

    Being a fantasy “expert” is hard work.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Julio White: Yea, I knew parnell had a torn ligament in his elbow. Harper and Brown have played 3 games thus far. Hard to freak out about that. CC sabathia was a guy I said was worth a flier in the 16th round or later and still is. I make mistakes all the time as does everyone but it’s too early to decide the fate of these young men. Thanks for bringing it up tho

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: this is likely another ellen ivory name.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @goodfold2: very likely

  17. M says:
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    Add which 2/3 Paxton, Erasmo, and/or Ross?

    • M says:
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      @M: *not just to stream, which above pitcher(s) have the best prospects of full season value?

      • M says:
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        @M: in my haste, I also forgot to ask if Beckett or Lewis would be good Sp options when they return (I’m in a 15man league)

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @M: Ive always been a fan of Beckett and Lewis but I need to see them pitch once or twice before giving either a shot

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @M: ross on Padres or Texas? Hard to argue with Erasmo and Paxton right now. Them is my boys!!! pick em up!!

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @M: No problemo broseph

  18. Robby D says:
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    Meh on the tourney.

    I haven’t been able to enjoy much beyond the Wichita St vs. Kentucky matchup, but then I realized they are just going to let Kentucky’s guards run over everyone and give them fouls.

    It’s weird, because I actually have nothing against the Kentucky team and love that they start 5 Freshman, but after watching the way they won against Wichita St. and Louisville, I quit watching altogether because it’s become the NBA lite in that the rules are enforced awfully (I feel bad for the referees). NCAA has gone the way of the NBA with the foul rule changes making it to where defense is basically not allowed for the most part. It’s unwatchable, and if I were a coach, I’d just recruit the most physical team I could, because talent is not as important as size in the refs whistles.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Robby D: Rob Deeeezy, I know what you’re saying but my point is that I began the tourney disinterested but the incredible volume of down to the wire games brought me back in. I don’t recall ever seeing so many coming down to the wire. really tough break for wichita state. horrible bracket for them. Wanted them to go all the way. Tragic

      • Robby D says:
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        @Tehol Beddict:

        Gotcha, and I can’t disagree with that, but aren’t you frustrated with the drawing out of the end of the games with the reviews and the constant whistles? It feels like both teams are in the bonus within 5 minutes of the half.

        I will say that U of A – Wisconsin game was great and pretty clean. That one was really fun to watch cause they let them play.

        • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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          @Robby D: I was really bummed out when Wichita State lost. I wanted to see them at least get to the Final Four and have a real shot at a perfect season. It feels like they were a fraud.

          I have not been a fan of the officiating. I hated that replay that gave Arizona the ball with one last shot at the end. To me, it seemed clear that the Arizona player had touched the ball last before it went out of bounds.

          I also hate how every game looks the same. Same floor on every court. MSG didn’t even look like MSG. Terrible.

          • Tehol Beddict says:
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            @Wallpaper Paterson: I know what u mean but they weren’t a fraud. They could have easily won that game and Kentucky got hot at right moment kind of how a great season doesn’t get u title in head to head but it does in roto. Wichita state was real

            • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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              @Tehol Beddict: I guess they were good. It just created a bad feeling, them getting bounced early.

              • Tehol Beddict says:
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                @Wallpaper Paterson: yea, it huuuuurt so deep. Now I find myself rooting for kentucky tho. I like some of these young guys. Couple nice match ups this weekend

  19. Joe G says:
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    Tehol Billy butler and chris owings are in the trash which one you recomend me to pick up?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Joe G: The Butler. and hurry

      • Joe G says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: johnny Peralta or chris owings?

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Joe G: Peralta for shodo

  20. Frank Own uh.. says:
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    GO ninja Go Ninja Go! Wonder if they got Corey Feldman to be the voice of Donatello again?? What’s that? Oh you’re probably right, he was probably busy perfecting the art of peaking too soon…

    • Frank Own uh.. says:
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      @Frank Own uh..: On a side note I wouldn’t be surprised if that jackwaggon wasn’t Kid A…similar teen angst issues I’ve observed…

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Frank Own uh..: OUCH!!! low blow on tha Corey. The man was a legend. I’m sure he asked about the role and Im sure nobody in hollywood takes any of his calls.

      • Frank Own uh.. says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: You’re probably right Tehol..I was probably a little rough on Mr. Feldman, and the more I think about it he prob doesn’t have the cohones to be the Jackwagon Kid A that tries to pick on Mr T(ehol). And since you’ve adamantly stated that it’s not you here’s my top 5 candidates for the Real Kid A– 5. Zed from Pulp Fiction (unlikely b/c “Zed’s Dead baby) 4. KANYE. 3. Red Headed kid from A Christmas Story. 2. Ramsay (Snow) Bolton–he’s a bored Bastard with daddy issues and mental prob’s. 1. Biff Tannen – most likely answer “I hate manure!!”

        Keep up the great work Tehol!!

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Frank Own uh..: ooooooh, now I get what u were saying. RAMSAY BOLTON!!!! that bastard. I know it’s home. Great list

  21. Jessica says:
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    Your date is a lucky girl. I don’t know baseball but I look a little like Brooke Burke. Are you single @tehol beddeict

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Jessica: Jessica, If u look anything at all like Brooke I’d be happy to have you back the razzball mansion or maybe even take u on the razzball yacht. champagne and strawberries. …..and fantasy baseball

  22. Yager says:
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    Someone has to bring up the fact that Wisco has been blessed by the Elder Gods. They have made the tourney, Ben Brust is a cold mother f**ker. Sam Decker as a sophomore is absolutely sick, Tjax as second generation NBA is fearless, Frank Kaminsky has been the best player in this tournament, and mark my words, Nigl Hayes as a freshman has proven that he will be one of the best big men in the country if not the country when this show is over. Nigl Burgandy, Hayes for days! http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NBNM0PvaRPM

  23. The Duchess says:
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    First off, you must be some long-lost relative of Domonic Brown to have this kind of man crush on him. He plays (sometimes) in an aging, lethargic Phillies lineup that more likely than not won’t do big things-strike that- mediocre things this year. Sure he may get you 25+ HR, 80ish RBI, 70ish runs, and a handful of SBs. But what about what he will do to your AVG or OBP? There are plenty of guys out there that have similar HR/RBI potential that play in good lineups, everyday. So like a bad breakup, you gotta move on.

    I’m glad I didn’t take Parnell in my draft- I just don’t enjoy anyone on the Mets, but you couldn’t of predicted he’d pull up lame after 1 game and claim to not need surgery. Don’t hate on Tehol for that. But he’s a MUST DROP for sure… Whole closer game this year is miserably frustrating. I only have one on my tm and w/ the garbage avail on the wire might leave it like that until the inevitable injury bug claims another. Then I’ll swoop in and claim one of the many handcuffs still avail in shallow legs (Benoit, melancon, Allen, clippard etc)

    CC was just a bad pick anywhere in draft. He was atrocious last year. And along w all that weight, he appears to have lost his velocity. I love all the Belt love (even though he is on my BE this wk…) and I’m sorry I missed out on Erasmo.

    But aside from those few difference of opinions and the choice of play for your big hot date… (Little shop of horrors-really? If she’s as “smoking hot” as you claim step up your game and go to Wicked or Book of Mormon…) you’re still one of my favorite “experts” out there.

    Don’t destroy me in the comments- I still have much love for Tehol! <3

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @The Duchess: The Duchess? that hot. u must come out for razzball 32in32in32. u can be my date. glad I’m “one” of your favorites. by next week maybe I’ll be THee favorite. thanks for checking in.

  24. Joel says:
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    Lord Bare Chested One, quickie for you. First, my team lin. Ya, exactly, I didn’t get much done in my trade department but I’ve made progress believe it or not.

    http://games.espn.go.com/flb/clubhouse?leagueId=142770&teamId=14

    Yes, I am still stacked in the OF but I’m acting a little silly over the thought of Heyward being dropped in my league and I having #1 waiver priority. So, long story short, drop who for him? I’ve been trying to pry Brown away from a guy in my league; dude’s a real young talent keeper fiend. Do I drop someone and seeif he will take Heyward 1 for 1 for Brown of say ‘fuck it’ and stand pat? Or drop and keep the MoFo. I felt the radiance of Sir Dominic last season and frankly, I miss it.

    Lastly, a guy in my league is willing to do a 1 for 1 for Homer Bailey. U feeling it? I am actually. So what do you suggest? What/who would it take to do the deal?

    As always, respect

    Joel

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Joel: I enjoyed reading that. Thanks for dropping in. I miss him and its only been a day since he’s played! First off, pick up heyward. this must be pretty shallow league, eh? Im having a hard time seeing droppable guys off your team tho murphy or utley aren’t irreplaceable. hmmmmmm we must find a way to do this. get heyward first of all then we shall work something out.

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