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Well, the All-Star break happened and now here I sit.  Only three games of data to expunge my sort of genius onto the masses… that’s like the Gettysburg Address stopping at “four score and seven”. So with limited research, I gotta get creative with words.  Like, have you checked out Fantasy Soccer, yeah… it’s that oddly shaped ball at the top of this page.  Don’t play? Well you should.  So onto the number seven with bacon.  Also known as the KC stealer.  Over the past 15 games that oddly enough dates back when we were still celebrating fireworks and stuff, Whit Merrifield leads the majors in steals with 7.  Big deal, 7 whole steals!  Well, the steals bandwagon has lost some steam this year with Billy not doing consistent Billy things and Trea doing game-ready stuff at Chuck E. Cheese’s, but strangely enough he still needs an adult with him.  Curse you baby-faced guys!  Whit isn’t just a dead stick as he has revitalized the Royals line-up, as they have an unbelievable record since his insertion into the leadoff spot.  It’s not George Springer-type good, but for SAGNOF, we take what we can get.  Currently owned in half of the ESPN leagues, which means that he is owned in every RCL league (basically), so kudos for all of us that are paying attention.  But on the happenstance that he isn’t owned, go grab him, do it gently though, he pees when he gets nervous.

Keon Broxton – What the heck happened? Was on a nice pace in all categories and then July hits.  1 HR, 3 steals and 7 total runs/RBIs.  Not what you need from the Brewers outfielder.  Heck, the Domingo Santana thefty wagon has 2 also in the same timeframe.  Captain obvious say’s “at least he has 3 steals.”

Cesar hernandez – He has finished his rehab training of dogs and is now on the scamper to do things in Philly.  He is just in time for the Phillies to completely punt in preparation for another year of disappointment from the Eagles.

Starling Marte – Returns from suspension today and we should expect a steroid-induced boone to your stolen bases if you held onto him.

Billy Burns – Got called up, for those of you in deep like an abyss leagues, he may pay dividends.

Carlos Gonzalez – I am glad he is sucking because I like the other toys in the Rockies tool shed better.

Stephen Vogt – Has had 11 straight steals taken against him, 47 on the year.  He is the everyday catcher there.  Wanna stream target from the honey jar of knowledge…that’s it.

Keone Kela – Is throwing bullpens and should be back by the end of the weekend or early next week.  Committee’s are zero fun unless it’s like a fact finding mission to find saves.  Confused? Me too.  Donde esta un pantalones?

Justin Wilson – Is a frothy name in the trade market right now.  From the looks of it, the only person that is safe in Detroit is the Bobby Higginson statue and Miggy.  Alex Wilson may get one save, establish his closer value and then Bruce Rondon should take the reigns for the remainder.

Ryan Madson – Because of course Matt Grace got the last 2 saves for the Nats as Dusty continues to play save roulette or Keno or bingo.  If the Nationals don’t make another move, Madson, Doolittle, Grace, Albers and when he ever gets back, Albers will all be save candidates.  SAGNOF to the max.

   
  1. Wacha Wacha says:
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    Whit or Maybin Ros?

  2. Let Us Now Praise Famous Death Dwarves says:
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    10 team AL only h2h with holds added. 4 RP slots and i have j.wilson/giles/barnes (BOS, reacquired as soon as kelly and his no K’s ass got DL’d)/rondon. i just dropped kahnle for rondon as kahnle just went from 2nd in line to no better than 4th (assuming chapman/k-rob/betances all ahead of him). any of these better than rondon, i assumed for now rondon is easiest to navigate 8th inning man. looking for holds from this spot
    OAK- treinen or hendriks (treinen used as the 8th inning guy last night)
    TOR – all of their late guys around, tepera/the other AL barnes have been splitting the 8th, and j.smith is back soon and available, can probably wait on him to see if he’s moved into 8th right away.
    LAA -d.hernandez (this is long shot of course compared to the others)

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Let Us Now Praise Famous Death Dwarves: I dont think better but lateral, mostly matchup based. Danny barnes just pitched so skip him for a day or two. But rondon is a spec add guy for saves until Justin is dealt so it’s question of wait until or grab stats now. I think you can get 2-3 holds out of all the guys you mentioned if you can shift the parts on the right day until Rondon is useful as a closer / more reliable set-up guy

      • Let Us Now Praise Famous Death Dwarves says:
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        @Smokey: AL only, have a bad enough waiver to possibly use it on phelps (holds league) same as above. so rondon would be the drop or not. rondon being recently obtained if in fact phelps is behind vincent i can likely go back to rondon later.

          • Let Us Now Praise Famous Death Dwarves says:
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            @Smokey: the monkey thinks phelps is 7th or earlier; glad i didn’t drop either of phelps/vincent in a 20 teamer with holds till we see how this sakes out.

            • Smokey

              Smokey says:
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              @Let Us Now Praise Famous Death Dwarves: update on that coming today. i touch on Vincent a bit. Both have their strengths and weaknesses vs Lh and RH so both could be utilized either way

  3. Crapshoot Kershaw says:
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    saves and holds league. keepers but not enough to influence RP. i have norris/rivero/clip/phelps/barnes/betances. a guy who’s wanted betances all year (NYY fan from his team name) finally gave a real offer just as betances’ value was at probably an all time low. britton for betances, do this one, even if for now i’ll have the unbalanced 4-2 closers to holds guys. this way if/when clippard sucks and loses the job i could go back to barraclough or somebody else (hunter/tepera/koji/strickland/j.smith if/when he gets that job back etc). betances appears to be in that muddled mess of a NYY bullpen, and unless k-rob suddenly starts pitching like, well, betances has been lately he’s 7th inning at best.

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