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It began as a whisper… a promise… the lightest of breezes danced above the cries of  men and women cheering him on in little league. That breeze became a wind. A wind of freedom… a wind of justice… a wind of vengeance. The time has come, my Beddictites, to prepare yourselves for a breakout of epic proportions. I speak not of the Herp, but of the Harp; Bryce Harper to be clear.

Some would argue that Nostradamus’s greatest prophesy was made in the year 1566, mere days before his horrific case of the Gout brought him to his death bed. “What prophesy is this you speak of, oh wise and charming Beddict?” Ask and thou shalt receive. A deep search into the annals of Nostradamus’s journals produced this historic find– “In the year of our Elder Gods, 2014, a breathtakingly handsome young writer will come out of the shadows and change the world forever. He will no doubt be criticized by many a troglodyte [Ed. Note– Good word usage bro.], but he shall not hold it against them, for they not know better. On March 10, 2014, this debonaire young man, who will be known as the Mark Twain/William Shakespeare of his generation, will make a prediction about another chosen one, another young man I have seen in my dreams, an athlete of sorts.  These overwhelmingly powerful visions of this brutish boy swinging what seems to be a wooden stick at a bloodless round object have seemingly pushed me to the brink of my grave. It’s either these visions or this Mother F’ing gout! Anyway, I know not what this prediction shall be, but whatever it is, it will have an 85 percent chance of coming to fruition. These two young men’s futures will be forever intertwined for better or for worse. Take heed, for it has been written. I can now die in peace knowing my last true vision has been recorded in my leather-bound and padlocked journal. Now, if only this useless peasant, wife of mine would bring me my favorite chocolate sprinkled crepes along with some brie. Tis a virtual certainty she’s yet again, getting bent over in the barn by my stable boy, Mortimer. By the Gods, I despise that whore.” It’s been said those were the last sentences ever written by Damus, as he passed and now resides with Hood in “House Death.”

Have you seen Bryce Harper lately?

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This photo alone should result in you forgetting your prior draft target and coveting the man with the body that could only come from the Elder Gods’s magic. We are now blessed with the opportunity to witness greatness and by greatness I mean: 50 + home runs, 120+ RBIs, 10+steals, and an average above .270. Injury is all that can stop this from happening. Harper has had two years in the big leagues and shown flashes as to why he’s been known as the chosen one since 8th grade. This beastly young man will not stop until he is the best player in baseball and I foresee a real run on the career home run record. The injuries have been a problem as well as his struggles with left handed pitching, but he’s supposedly worked those out in the off-season. Considering the fact that Harper has one of the best work ethics I’ve ever witnessed, to go along with his other worldly talent, I’m gonna take his word for it. So should you. Harper should fall no further than 5th in all rotisserie league drafts as I will be taking him over the likes of Chris Davis, Adam Jones, Robinson Cano, and Ryan Braun. His OBP rose from .340 to .368 last season so a jump to .400 would not all shock me as we can assume improved plate discipline from this true student of the game. Peep this out yo: Harper put up an .854 OPS as his walk rate went up, his K rate dropped and his power improved. Dude is about to go from Mother Love Bone to Pearl Jam. Tehol spoke in, spoke in. Tehol spoke in, spoke in class todaaaaaay.

Below is a list compromised of players I feel are either being undervalued in this years rankings as well as players I believe are just going to have monster year, their rankings not withstanding. Some are obviously deeper league targets but all of these men deserve your attention. Each player has his ADP (Average Draft Placement) followed by the pick he was selected in the recent Razzball Writers RCL. Before we head there let me leave you with a quote from my esteemed colleague J-FOH, speaking on his behalf as well as the rest of the writers involved in this particular league; “Let it be shown, that we’d rather live on our knees, rather than die on our feet.” Hmmmm, did I get that right? Looks like these guys are going to go down without a fight yet again. Witness!

Jacoby Ellsbury – 10.5/22. Yes, I know Ellsbury has burnt more fantasy owners than Miley Cyrus has rappers and yes, I know he seems to always follow up a great season with a total dud, but he couldn’t possibly blow his first season in pinstripes, Right!? Will Ellsbury ever approach 30 jacks again (I’m still waiting on a valid explanation on how this was possible)? Certainly not, but he will most def’ crack double digits in homers and continue his fantastic theft rate on the base paths. I wouldn’t say he’s a top-10 choice but if he falls to you in the late 2nd or early 3rd, well that, my friends, is whats’s known as a steal.

Matt Kemp – 73.5/73. Not sure about you guys/gals but I sure miss the days when Rihanna and Kemp were the world’s hottest couple. Nothing like dimming the lights, lighting a few aroma-therapy scented candles, and letting your imagination run wild about Rihanna twerking in the midst of a savage reverse cow-girl, followed my Matt “The Hammer” Kemp finishing her off with a powerful pile-driver that would receive a kudos from the legendary Brett “The Hitman” Heart. It wasn’t so long ago that Kemp was a sure fire first round pick and I have no problems with taking a gamble on man with as much upside as anyone. You want him in the 4th or even 5th round? I have no problem with that. There are plenty of decent players later in the draft to put in his spot should he falter yet again.

Mark Teixeira – 178.8/205. Teixeira’s last season in which he played over 130 games, he mashed out to the tune of 39 homers and 111 RBIs. Now, a wrist injury is nothing to play with, just ask Smokey. We literally had to ban him from PornHUB.com so that he could continue writing for Razzball. Those ligaments can only take so much jerking around before they begin to fail. Luckily for Big Tex, he has the world’s best doctors and trainers to get back into the swing of things. I’ve been hearing positive talk around the league and to me, he’s well worth the risk. I mean, come on dog, 205th overall? That’s downright disrespectful yo.

Hanley Ramirez – 14.6/19. Hanley is going about where he should be taken, but I just wanted to put his name on here cuz I love him like the brother I always wished my parents adopted. You know the deal with Han-Ram: He rakes when not on the DL, but he’s seemingly always on the DL. I say he plays over 140 games this season. Draft with confidence.

Domonic Brown – 115.7/75(GUESS WHO). Look for “Demonic” Brown to raise hell and give nightmares to opposing pitchers for the remainder of their miserable lives, for he has been blessed by the Elder Gods with abilities us mortals shall never know about. When I made the argument he could be this year’s fantasy MVP last week, I meant that based on him being drafted in rounds 7-10, which is where he’s going. Hey, Gilpin predicted Paul Konerko last year for Fantasy MVP. Could I do any worse than that!? “Sir” Domonic” won’t let us down.

Will Myers – 77.8/38. Yea, I’m gonna go ahead and chalk down Myers for 30 + homers, 100 + RBIs, and 10+ steals. The aforementioned hateful one, J-FOH, made an outstanding move in our writers league draft, taking Myers 38th overall. Kudos, bro-seph. He is going way to low in average drafts for my taste. Great move by the Royals, trading away a future, perennial MVP candidate for a borderline all-star pitcher in his mid-thirties with one year left on his contract. Oh, that’s odd, I wasn’t aware “win-now” mode tasted like butthole. Yummers!

Giancarlo Stanton – 34.6/26. Ok, so I just took a gander at the Marlins projected lineup for 2014 and am having second thoughts about including the smolderingly sexy Giancarlo on this list. There is no reason to ever pitch to Stanton when considering the type of hot garbage protecting him in the lineup. I suppose if the game is already out of hand by the 5th inning, Stanton may get something to hit. Hold on just a tic, this is the Marlins we’re talking about here. They will no doubt be getting dumped on a regular basis, therefore Stanton will likely see enough RBI opportunities to be included on this list. The upside is still to monstrous to pass up in the late 2nd round, where you will be able to snag him no doubt. Stanton is my favorite player in baseball so it pains me to rank him so low, but I don’t allow emotional attachments to alter my drafting………….

Jason Heyward – 84.1/46. Honestly speaking (or writing), Heyward hasn’t come close to fulfilling the expectations I had for him since it was known he would be Atlanta’s opening day right fielder back in the year of our Gods, 2010. I even drafted him ahead of the legendary Stephen Strasburg and didn’t’ think twice about it. He done nothing but disappoint ever since, but one is prone to forgetting that he’s only 24 years of age, and one might forget that Grey the Elder mentioned the possibility of Heyward parking 40 this season. That’s all it took to sell me again, and if it’s good enough for me, then it should be good enough for you, dammit!

Brett Lawrie- 127.4/139. Much like Katherine Heigl, who was last seen doing Nyquil commercials, Lawrie has seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth. His upside is worth the risk in the 110-130 range, but this is his last chance to perform for me and that’s more than I can say for Heigl, though I love me some Nyquil.

Khris Davis – 191.7/190.  DON’T SKIP THIS NAME! Whatever you do, don’t nonchalantly skip over this name. Im giving you my personal guarantee of 30 plus bombs with an average above .255. If Davis doesn’t achieve these numbers you will receive 3, Tehol Beddict Fatheads of me in a g-string. Seriously, dude is going to rake.

Josh Hamilton – 95.2/93.  Oh how the mighty Hambone has fallen. Once, the greatest comeback story in the history of the MLB, Hamilton’s act has begun to wear thin on his fans and fantasy owners. I’ve heard he’s  in the greatest shape of his life this pre-season and it doesn’t take much to sell me on Hambino. An absolute steal where he’s getting drafted.

B.J. Upton – 183.6/217. He can’t be worse, right?

Adam Eaton – 213.8/168.  Eaton will be an All-Star in 2014. I’d say that’s worth a pick before 200, wouldn’t you?

Josh Reddick – 199.3/197. In 2012 Reddick hit 32 homers, 85 RBIs, and even swiped 11 bases. He’s 27 years old. It’s truly a disgrace how late he’s being selected. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

Christian Yelich – 188.8/114. Everybody loves this guy, right? His power game was pathetic last season as he hasn’t had time to build up that “man strength” yet, but I’m guessing it will come. Yelich has all the tools to be a star and I love his upside but I’m a bit more skeptical than most, at least when it comes to this upcoming season alone.

I was going to mention Colby Rasmus until I realized he had ZERO steals last season. How is that possible? Thats like Derek Jeter not beating cheeks for a whole summer. #Disgrace

Jose Abreu – 131.1/88 Just like Madonna, I’m known to froth at the mouth whenever my eyes take sight of a 6’3, 250 pound Cuban import. The power is real, the meat Grade-A, and he makes me feel like a virgin, touched for the very first time.

Justin Morneau – 223.5/Undrafted.  Andres Galarraga reborn? The Big Cat: Part Deaux? Some have said it is so. Worth a flyer.

Howie Kendrick 210.1/230.  Would you feel more comfortable with some nobody named “Scooter” or Kendrick as your tw0-bagger? I’m not going to justify that ridiculous question with an answer! Or am I? Kendrick is the better, and much safer option.

DJ LeMahieu – 260/Un-drafted. Liked what I saw from this little spark plug last season. You could do worse at your SS/2B slot.

Chase Headley – 149.7/162.  I’m not sure what I missed, but wasn’t Headley an absolute monster two seasons ago? Isn’t he still in his late 20’s? Weren’t injuries the only issue last season? This is way to low for a player of this caliber.

Will Middlebrooks – 170.4/171.  Get out your notebooks and mark down 30 plus dongs and 100 plus ribbeys for Big Willie Style. Yea, that’s gonna happen.

Todd Frazier – 229.7/286. If I remember correctly, I selected Frazier in the 7th round last season in one draft. THE SEVENTH ROUND!!! The guy is now going un-drafted in many leagues. It huuuuuuurts. Thanks Grey! I’m kidding of course, for I’d rather spit in the face of Mother Teresa, than insult Mr. Albright. In fact, I still like Frazier and if you can draft in the last 5 rounds, I’d suggest doing so as the upside is still there for 30 plus homers.

Michael Wacha – 130.2/131. Did you witness this youth in the playoffs last season? I’m sold, how about you? Worthy of going higher.

Carlos Martinez – 260/253. Good gracious, the Elder Gods have blessed the Cardinals with a bountiful load of incredible young pitchers. If Martinez is given a starting job in the rotation, I would personally be drafting him at least 100 spots earlier. Tommy Lee Penis size type upside here.

Tony Cingrani – 175.7/152. Cingrani is the epitome of what you want your fantasy starting pitchers to be. An ERA under 3 and 10.3 K’s per nine? Yes please. What am I missing here. If you draft Cingrani at pick 125 or later feel free to crack a bottle of bubbly and celebrate. Just don’t forget to pour some out for your dead homies.

Jeff Samardzija – 140.2/123. Many a fantasy expert is down on this former Notre Dame legend this season but I’m not sure why. I mentioned last week I could see a Max Scherzer type jump for Samardzija, and I meant it. He was one of the most unlucky pitchers in the game as far as balls in play and had one bad stretch of pitching. He’s a K-monster and a total prototype. I can promise you he shall have a better year than Gerrit Cole, so put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Brandon Beachy – 228.9/209 Can Beachy Bounce Ba Ba Bounce back like my whoadie Juvenile? It’s worth a later pick to find out, and that’s fo sho doe.

Julio Teheran ADP – 131.4 /80. News flash people. Teheran has flat out filthy Shiznit and guess what? This is going to blow your mind, but Teharan is better than Mike Minor. In fact, his stuff is mind blowingly filthy. Definitely a pitcher with the ability to take the next step into elite territory.

Michael Pineda ADP – 260/257. Use a late round pick on Pineda as I hear he’s rediscovered the magic that made him the one time 5th round pick of my dynasty league…..That one hurt. 

Jesus Montero –  I had his name here originally just to bash him but this tub of lard is scorching hot. Worth a late pick in deeeeep leagues.

Travis d’Arnaud - 260/Undrafted. I’ve been reading about this kid for years. If healthy, will be a top 10 catcher this season. 

That was fun, wasn’t it? I look forward to another week of interacting with you on the message board. You may think that I want some of these negative commentator’s blood to flow like the ancient rivers of Babylon, but that’s simply not the case. Even some of  your mothers knew that since you was in the class with Legos, you’d grow up to be as soft as mashed potatoes. If you have hate in your heart, let it out. Until next time.

 

Tehol is currently accepting new Twitter followers this week at @TeholBeddict47, so jump on that train ASAP.

From Around The Web

  1. weas says:
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    Damnit Tehol I don’t know if I should trust you but you make some good points.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @weas: that’s some power reading if it only took you seven minutes to get through this piece…

      • weas says:
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        @Jay: Tehol uses small words so it’s easy!

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @weas: +1

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @weas: get out your dictionary Weasley

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Jay: Jay pulled an all nighter just to edit it. Beddict thanks you my friend

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Tehol Beddict: Trust me my friend, the honor is all mine.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @weas: Don’t know if you should trust me? that last person that said that to me was the girl I got pregnant in Argentina. I said I had to go the store for some Protein powder and went straight to the airport. So maybe you’re right not to trust me but this is a totally different situation and when it comes to baseball or any sport other than Hockey, there in no one more knowledgable

  2. J-FOH says:
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    that’s some serious erotica in the Kemp part, my question is who are you more into physically, Rhianna or Kemp?

  3. Ken Plane says:
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    Well, quite an article and I would agree with you about Harper except for the fact that he has to learn that it a 162 game season. If he wants to reach the end of that season he must realize that he must not treat every game as his defining moment, his highlight reel. I believe that his make-up of going for broke every game will not only shorten his seasons but will eventually shorten his career as his body will wear out.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Ken Plane: give him a little time to learn how to harness that untamed desire to win. CarGo is seemingly always hurt to me yet he’s a top 5 pick. This is Harpers year

  4. Evelyn Westcott says:
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    Teholbhole I think you are missing your calling- any chance we will see you on television soon? Keep up the good work- I agree with your stats bro

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Evelyn Westcott: #RazzballTV. baby. get your popcorn ready

  5. TJ says:
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    Trying to decide on my final keeper in my auction league.
    No limit on how long you keep someone for, but they go up $5 every year.

    Weekly H2H, you play 3 OF and one Utility position.

    My given keepers are Mike Trout at $10 and Stephen Strasburg at $15.

    Can’t decide between a $6 Will Myers or $5 Xander Bogaerts. I know Myers will probably have better numbers in 2014, but what about going forward? The SS eligibility is also intriguing over keeping 2 OFs when you only play 3 a week.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @TJ: Teeeej, thats a tough call my man as I worship Myers but as you said that SS elg is too much to pass up in keeper league. Bogaerts is the choice

      • TJ says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Thanks hoss. Was leaning that way too, but didn’t know if it was my Red Sox fandom pushing me in that direction.

        Forgot to also compliment you on the column. I tried real hard to make a deal for Harper in my other non-auction keeper league this winter. Offered the dude pretty much everything I could, and kept getting shot down. He’s gonna be a monster.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @TJ: yea at this point its pretty much impossible to get this beast in a keeper league unless we are talking mike trout. Glad u liked. Thank you

  6. J Money says:
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    I liked this article (and the past one). You made me think twice about overlooking some of these guys, especially Brown.

    I’d appreciate your expert opinion of my keeper situation.
    Second year of a Yahoo 12 team 6×6 (OPS and QS) Roto keeper league.

    I can keep three players, 2 batters and 1 pitcher. Below are the players with the round they will be kept in next to them.

    Goldy (1) – Keeping
    Fielder (2)
    Bautista (3)
    Choo (4)
    Gyorko (12)

    J Zimmermann (6)
    Ryu (9)
    S. Miller (9)
    Shields (8)

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @J Money: This is very interesting, but I’d probably have to go Prince even though its not position of need. Bautista probably has a good year this year and maybe next but is already experiencing major injuries and is older. Choo is intriguing, especially playing in Texas and then obviously Gyroko would let you keep all your high picks. Im still going Prince.

      And you probably have to go zimmerman though part of me wants to gamble on Shelbys upside and in the 9nth. Plus you can always redraft the other one. Maybe keep Miller and draft zimmerman again if possible or vice versa whatever you see playing out based on what kind of people you playing with. These are tough calls but good problems to have

      • J Money says:
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        @Tehol Beddict:

        Thanks for the thoughts. I was thinking the same thing with Prince and Zimmermann as well, although I am a fan of Choo. Would it make a difference if I mentioned I have two 3rd round picks (but no 4th)? Because I can always draft Bautista/Choo in the third again if I want.

        You like Shelby? I was down on him this year and wouldn’t have given this a second thought, but I read that he was fatigued at the end of last season and that was why the Cardinals did not pitch him at the end.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @J Money: Yea Shelby was quite disappointing last season especially when you factor in Wacha and Martinez pitching so well. I still love the upside and 9nth isn’t bad but I just thought maybe since its a keeper league he may go a little higher than expected as it just takes one to fall in love but if you’re over him go with zim and don’t look back. Even better that you have 2 third rounders. Def keep prince and take 2 studs in 3rd

  7. Hoog says:
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    Any chance Jesus makes the big league roster out of spring training? I have him in a keeper league…I’m stuck with him…..

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Hoog: Only the Gods could possibly know the answer to that question but Im going to say no as of now

  8. JDW says:
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    And right on cue in today’s game Heyward smacks his third ding dong of the spring. Uggla smacked around a dong of his own. Miggy stroked a couple dongs today as well…in case anyone was, you know, fretting about his spring dingers.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @JDW: Heyward got my ding dong feelin funny. this is gonna be a big year. I can taste it. thanks for the update

  9. Shake N Bacon says:
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    I might as well call my RCL team – Tehol’s Elder Gods.

    Some highlights

    Bryce Harper – 1.12
    Domonic Brown – 7.84
    Matt Kemp – 8.85
    Evan Gattis – 13.156
    Middlebrooks – 14.157
    Khris Davis – 15.180

    Should be a fun ride…

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Shake N Bacon: you just locked up a championship my friend. Kudos

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Shake N Bacon: by the way I love Gattis too

      • Shake N Bacon says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Thanks. I like taking chances on players with raw skill. If a few of them click, it could be a real fun year. I got some consistent guys in there too (Votto, Pedroia, Bourn).

        Harper looks like a beast in that picture above. Makes me glad I traded for him in my keeper league last year.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Shake N Bacon: oh you golden then playa. I like the way you do thangz

  10. OneI'dWilly says:
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    Nice work as always, Tehol. Many of these guys are targets on my projection sheet.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @OneI’dWilly: Thanks one eye. I envision much success coming your way

      • OneI'dWilly says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: In a points league, you like Homer Baily at $5 or Anibel Sanchez at $6

  11. Leanna Decker says:
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    Tehol, wtf. Where was my shoutout?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Leanna Decker: wheres that portfolio of naked photos you promised me and why hasnt your husband been taken out yet?

  12. The Guru

    The Guru says:
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    The Greek philosopher Heraclitus said, “a man’s character is his fate.” If that’s true, then you sir will die Thai brothel surrounded by wailing lady boys.

    That’s my way of saying, “nice work today.” Cheers.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @The Guru: my deepest thanks, Oh wise one

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @The Guru: yeah, go step in the same river twice. War all the time and fire is everything.

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @goodfold2: hmmmmm

  13. The Thumb says:
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    So, what’s your opinion on the Godzilla reboot? It has The Lord and Savior of actors who play generally pissed off characters, Heisenberg himself, so I think it’s definitely worth the gander.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @The Thumb: Thumb, I’m all over this one and will be seeing it in IMAX most certainly. I remember watching that dud with Broderick drinking beers in movie theatre with some chick and we left early. I NEVER leave movies early. that was truly a piece of garbage. This one looks done legit. Should be a good one

  14. The Strolg says:
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    The fast ones ALWAYS ride for free!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @The Strolg: don’t they

  15. Shawn of the livid says:
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    Just id my draft Tehol, care to offer your opinion? Took Cano over Harper though. Any weak spots I should know about? Yahoo 10 team H2H.

    1. (5) Robinson Canó 2B
    2. (16) Edwin Encarnación 1B,3B
    3. (25) Yasiel Puig CF,RF
    4. (36) Albert Pujols 1B
    5. (45) Álex Ríos RF
    6. (56) Billy Hamilton CF
    7. (65) Anibal Sánchez SP
    8. (76) Domonic Brown LF
    9. (85) Alex Cobb SP
    10. (96) Anthony Rizzo 1B
    11. (105) Julio Teherán SP
    12. (116) Danny Salazar SP
    13. (125) Tony Cingrani SP,RP
    14. (136) David Robertson RP
    15. (145) Alex Wood SP,RP
    16. (156) Leonys Martín LF,CF,RF
    17. (165) Huston Street RP
    18. (176) Sonny Gray SP
    19. (185) Evan Gattis C,LF
    20. (196) Brad Miller 2B,SS
    21. (205) Nate Jones RP
    22. (216) Rick Porcello SP
    23. (225) Khris Davis LF
    24. (236) Drew Smyly RP
    25. (245) George Springer CF

    I’m pretty damn happy about this team. Thanks in advance!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Shawn of the livid: Is this my team or yours! Beautifully done sir. Would have gone elsewhere at 5 but you made up for that later by snagging all my favorite young hogs at pitcher. Im a bit weary of Puig and if pujols is dinged up again your power could be an issue though you got Khris davis late, and he might hit 40 so all good. nice work. people are crazy for letting sonny gray going so late. he’s an absolute hog

      • Shawn of the livid says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Thanks man! Yeah the 5 spot I was not sure what to do. I had a guy in mind then gone, then another, bam gone. So in the end with the ticker going down I figured a good power, good speed on a great team was a good bet. Plus I needed some legs at that point.

        I couldn’t believe my luck on pitching either, I got everything I wanted!

        Hope the next draft goes this well!

  16. coachgonzo says:
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    This just solidified my thoughts exactly. Took B.Harper @ 7 in first RCL draft

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @coachgonzo: glad we on the same page Coach! Now I can sleep at night. good work

  17. JohnnyRed says:
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    Would you take Bryce Harper over McCutchen? I can’t take Harper over Goldie..

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @JohnnyRed: Yes I would, though its a tough call.

  18. Greyismyhero says:
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    Yes!!! he’s back!! Nice take man! Enjoyed every word…Patiently awaiting that one poster to drop in….:) Take Care T

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Greyismyhero: Thanks buddy. poster coming soon

  19. Wallpaper Paterson says:
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    LeMahieu undrafted? 17 round draft?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Wallpaper Paterson: nah, standard draft. razzball writers league draft. i suppose i should pick him up but I just love every player on my team other than Michael Saunders and Papelbon

  20. D Rich says:
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    Harper looking like the new aged Triple H! I know you use to hail from San Diego, can you telll me what you think Everth Cabrera will do this season? I kind of want to reach for him! Both in and out of fantasy

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @D Rich: Ah, the old reach around eh? My specialty. Everth might swipe 70 this year. Prob have to take fairly high. Im a fan. I miss the women in san diego. These chicks in seattle put on weight like u wouldn’t believe then cover it up with a parka

  21. Beastman says:
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    Tehol, much of this list looks like the squad I’ll be targeting. Get out of my head! Nicely done, especially the poetic waxing of Harper. The bard himself couldn’t have said it any better.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Beastman: Beastman, my brother, you’re too kind. Glad we’re on the same page

  22. Joe G says:
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    Hey tehol would you trade Nelson cruz or Carlos Beltrán for Aníbal Sánchez ? Just one

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Joe G: Yea, mos def. Especially if you need the pitching. just slang cruz

      • Joe G says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: i have zach grienke, garret colé,tony cinganarri, Francisco liriano, sonny gray, zach wheeler, and DL derek holland

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Joe G: broseph ur staff is stacked . U sure this trade necessary

  23. Snake Hips says:
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    Good stuff. What do you think of my team sir?

    10-team H2H custom points

    C – Castro
    1B – Goldy (K)
    2B – Gyorko
    3B – Machado (K)
    SS – Segura (K)
    MI – EverCab
    CI – Rizzo
    OF – Harper (K)
    OF – Beltran
    OF – Brantley
    OF – A.Garcia
    UTIL – Butler
    UTIL – Kemp

    BN – Asche
    NA – Springer

    SP – Jo-Fer (K)
    SP – F-Her
    RP – Chapman
    RP – N.Jones
    P – C.Lee
    P – Liriano
    P – G.Cole
    P – Cingrani

    BN – S.Gray
    BN – Cashner
    BN – J.Johnson
    BN – Porcello

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Snake Hips: uhhhh, it looks absolutely filthy. My Gods, how did you put together this g-squad?

      • Snake Hips says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: thanks! I got great value with my keepers and I took premium pitching early.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Snake Hips: sure did. Good work

  24. Al says:
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    Your post helped me draft Harper with confidence in my 14-team h2h OPS/QS league…with the 20th pick! Went A Jones, Harper, Pujols. Pujols actually made me kinda nervous at 36th, but I think Grey would be proud that I didn’t take Pedroia or Desmond instead.

    Worried a little about starting off with OF, OF, 1B…any advice on strategy to fill my IF now would be appreciated. We’ve got CI/MI and a 4th OF slot too, with 9 pitcher slots.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Al: well I would need to see who’s available. Lile everth cabrera to add some speed. Give me some names to choose from and glad u swooped harper. U won’t regret it

  25. Bryce's Horcrux says:
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    Tehol is the Al Davis / Oakland Raiders of Razzball.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Bryce’s Horcrux: I’m sure u meant Al Davis in the Raiders glory years correct?you wouldn’t dare ruin this hate free post

  26. goodfold2 says:
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    might wanta spray paint that Cole over Shark for this year. Youse gonna look really smart or the other thing on that one.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @goodfold2: you lost me broham

  27. Paul says:
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    Hey man, incredible article and as a Harper owner I loved reading it even more haha. Do you mind helping me with a keeper question? I can keep 3 guys, 12 team league 6×6 with OBP over average.

    Harper for 11 (done)

    but I need to choose 2 out of:

    Carlos Gonez (11)
    Wil Myers (11)
    Alex Cobb (8)
    Michael Wacha (10)

    This 12 team league is always hard to get pitching in since it’s overvalued and so many hurlers are kept each year. Gomez and Myers can be kept for only one more season after this but cobb and Wacha can be kept for 2 more after 2014. Appreciate any advice man, thank you.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Paul: Myers and Wacha no doubt my man. I suppose one could argue for one year gomez is the better option but I have more faith in myers. Interesting set up. I kind of like it. Glad u enjoyed l. Appreciate it

  28. J-FOH says:
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    I commented before I read the whole thing, this is literally the first time I have been referred to as esteemed! *tips cap*

    Wow, I just got more into my harper pick in the writers draft and sense the leverage is now in my hands *evil grin cracks* i will see you on the trading block as I try to extract all that is holy on your team to make the deal with the devil to get the chosen one *evil laugh…coughs* I still think Aoki is my Dom Brown this year, i’m predicting Gordon like numbers with comparable AB’s!!!!!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @J-FOH: yea i just looked at my team and I hate it. what the hell happened. Give me Harper and I’ll feel ok about it. GOLDY, i know you love him, my esteemed colleague

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: I’ll see what we can do, naked pics of female models that I can’t see anywhere else might sweeten the deal.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @J-FOH: I’m on it

  29. Clint says:
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    So, Jose Abreu makes you feel like a cooze in search of that monster dong that hurts her like a virgin all over again? That’s sounds more like what Most-suck-ass did to Grey last year to me.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Clint: who’s most suck-ass? I like the name Clint.

  30. Switch Hitter says:
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    Very convincing and well-written piece, Tehol. Looking forward to drafting at work next Monday and will definitely highlight your undervalued players.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Switch Hitter: why thank you. Follow tha rules and you’re golden

  31. Jay_0321 says:
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    Love the read Tehol. You sure are a wordsmith!

    Question about establishing keeper rules for my new auction league. First year!

    How many keepers keeps it fair?

    How do I establish how much a players starting cost is from being added from FA the following year?

    How much inflation per player per year?

    Thanks,

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Jay_0321: Jay, I really appreciate that. I usually play with 3/4 is good start. one cool idea is adding one each year then capping it at 6/7. Had this discussion other day. think we said 5 dollar per year. Good to keep the guys you want and have chance to keep guys you hit major score on. makes u feel good inside. thanks for reading

      • Jay_0321 says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: So does the dollar amount of players kept go against the draft budget? How do you determine who gets kept? Just any players?

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Jay_0321: I believe dollar amount would have to count towards draft budget. what other way is there? And I like the ability to keep ANY players i want but some like only guys under a certain price or whatever but Im not into that

          • Jay_0321 says:
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            @Tehol Beddict: What about the starting cost for a player added from FA for next year? Fixed cost or what he went for FAAB?

            • Tehol Beddict says:
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              @Jay_0321: maybe take a vote among league members. best to be as thorough as possible and try and please everyone. no surprises. Probably FAAB thoe

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Joey from the Bronx: Don’t be fooled by the rocks that he’s got. he’s still, he’s still Joey from the Bronx .

  32. nos says:
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    Would you draft Harper over McCutchen ?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @nos: very tough call but yea I probably would. though this one more of a coin flip. Harper a bit more upside i believe. Sure thing is cuuuuty

  33. JJ says:
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    This is kind of scary. According to your chart, I should ride this underrated team to glory on a gilded stallion of fulfilled potential.
    C-W.ROSARIO
    1B-E.HOSMER
    2B-D.PEDROIA
    3B-B.LAWRIE
    SS-H.RAMIREZ
    OF-M.KEMP
    OF-D.BROWN
    OF-D.JENNINGS
    UTIL-A.JACKSON, K.DAVIS
    BENCH-M.TEIXEIRA, A.EATON

    SP-J.FERNANDEZ
    SP-M.BUMGARNER
    SP-C.HAMELS
    RP-A.CHAPMAN
    RP-F.RODNEY
    P-G.COLE
    P-A.CASHNER
    P-J.SAMARDZIJA
    BENCH-M.GARZA, R.PORCELLO

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @JJ: your team just gave me wood. championship. lock it up

  34. Yo! Respect to dat shiznit playa! Big $ League-N-It VIP style. Aight, I’ll roll it wit Bryce.

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