Jose Reyes went from the King of Queens (See, Reyes is Spanish for kings. Things are much more interesting when they need to be explained, aren’t they?) to the land of retired Jews as he signed with the Miami Marlins. Did Jeffrey Loria’s great auntie die and leave him with an extra hundred million? Team moves into a new stadium, changes its name and suddenly has money to burn. Looks like Marlin employers might actually get Christmas gifts this year…. That aren’t regifted. “Cool, um, the pie tin that hit Coghlan in the face. Never thought I’d get one of these.” Jose Reyes’s value doesn’t change much in Miami. All Reyes needs to do is stay healthy and he’ll be every bit as valuable as he should be. You know, 40+ steals, 100+ runs. The uze. For all of those people that are suddenly penciling him in for the best season of his career, I just want to point out one thing — Carl Crawford’s signing with the Red Sox and how well that worked out. And he stayed (relatively) healthy. Imagine if Reyes gets injured. Now, they’re not related; they don’t even look like cousins. No reason to think what happened to Crawford will happen to Reyes, but nothing is set in stone except in Perfect Case Scenario World where I’m not a blogger but shtupping Jessica Alba. What Reyes should do in Miami is 110/12/50/.295/45. I love it; I love Reyes; I own a “Reyes is My Baby’s Daddy” t-shirt. Just keep caveats in mind. (BTW, I didn’t use the word shtupping back there. I wrote this post while on a ouija board channeling Buddy Hackett and he wrote that word.) Anyway, here’s some other offseason moves that happened and what they mean for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Hanley Ramirez – Reyes just made it easier to be a Hanley apologist in 2012 drafts because he’s moving him over and Han-Ram’s getting 3rd base eligibility. Honestly, I’m kinda annoyed because I was excited to draft Hanley at a discount and now every Tom, Dick and Harry Schmohawk will have an excuse to still draft Hanley so he’s not going to be discounted at all.
Manny Ramirez – Reports are saying he’ll serve his suspension and play again in 2012. He’s probably embarrassed for being banned for estrogen and wants to get banned for something more heroic like drilling a hole in his bat and stuffing it with tampons. Long term, maybe Manny can apply for the hitting coach job with the Cardinals.