The Rangers bullpen costing C.J. Wilson the win is like ten thousand spoons and all you need is a knife. Maybe Frank-Frank didn’t like Wilson cutting into his save chances last year. I was skeptical of Wilson moving into the rotation. I said to myself, “Grey, you’re handsome.” Wait, wrong conversation. I remember it now. “Grey, why not start Neftali Feliz? Why they fussing with C.J. Wilson?” I didn’t have an answer and wasn’t sure why I was using the word “fussing.” It’s like when you get mail order bride emails. Wouldn’t they be email order brides? Some questions have no answers. But I’m ready to hush that fuss. C.J. Wilson has always rocked an impressive K-rate as a reliever and, if he can maintain that and his walks, he could be a huge surprise in the rotation. Am I a fan of Arlington for pitchers in the summer? Nope, but let’s get there first, shall we? Wilson could give you a K/IP and a solid just under-4 ERA. I’m buying! Oh, and welcome to all the Googlers of “I’m buying” + “mail order bride.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Taylor Teagarden – 0-for-4, but enough about the negatives. Saltymochachino is out for at least 15 days with back stiffness and it’s not like Salty was doing anything anyway. Ron Washington said Salty was only the starting catcher because “his name goes to eleven.”
Frank Francisco – 2/3 IP, 3 ER as he blew the save. As a commenter said yesterday, Frank-Frank fail-fail.
Julio Borbon – 0-for-the-season. Will be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell. Your breath is bated.
Ian Kinsler – Was given another cortisone shot in his ankle. Now his ankle really won’t have any wrinkles! Wait, what? Yeah, I’m not a doctor, but this will delay Kinsler return a few more days. I’m guessing it’ll be at least two more weeks.
Aaron Hill – Sat out due to hamstring tightness. He only missed 4 games last year. His numbers last year had a lot to do with him accumulating many2 at-bats. It’s a situation that bears watching, Timothy Treadwell.
Travis Snider – 0-for-4, 3 Ks. With the way he’s going, he’ll be in the minors within two weeks.
Ronnie Belliard – 3-for-5 with a Double, Triple and Homer as he hit for The Hungry Man Cycle.
Chad Billingsley – 5 1/3 IP, 9 baserunners, 7 Ks. If I wanted to emphasize the baserunners, I would’ve listed them last. Instead, I chose to put the strikeouts last. I’m a big fan of Bills. A Billiever, if you will. However, this was an ugly start.
Paul Maholm – 6 IP, 4 ER. For those who think they’re outsmarting everyone by finding value on the Pirates staff, this start was against the Dodgers B lineup.
Hayden Penn – Why is the girl from Heroes pitching for the Pirates?
Orlando Hudson – Left the game with what appeared to be a neck injury. Could mean Nick Punto at 2nd on Friday. Shandler must be happy.
Jim Thome – 2-for-4, HR yesterday. Started at DH for the 2nd straight game. Yeah, that’s not good for Delmon Young’s playing time.
Kevin Slowey – My almost preseason Cy Young pick threw five and a third and allowed only one run. Have much love for Slowey this year.
Carlos Beltran – Set to begin a running program. A source told ESPN, “He’s a professional. His body will dictate what to do. He’s progressing great.” Here’s what I hear, “Trite statement. Statement that can be misconstrued to mean more than it does. Lie.” Then Beltran said, “Right now I don’t want to talk about when I’m going to come back if I haven’t run yet. When I run, then that can give me an idea of where I am. Right now it’s hard for me to say.” Here’s what I hear, “I’m not lying for the Mets. They can suck it.”
Luis Castillo – Will sit Friday with a calf injury. Whatever, Reyes returns Saturday!
Jeff Niemann – Was hit by a line drive in the arm, not the knee, man. Should make his next start as he’s listed as Day-to-Day. Where is this master Day-to-Day list? Is there some guy in Barbados sipping coladas keeping this list? I’d like to know.
Jon Niese – 6 IP, 3 ER, 3 Ks as he battled Nate Robertson (5 IP, 1 ER, 4 Ks). Reminded me of the epic battles between Nies and Heather B.
Randy Wells – 6 IP, 8 baserunners, 1 K as sabermetricians shake their fist at his BABIP.
Marlon Byrd – Another homer yesterday. All he does is hit homers! No, really, his only two hits this year are homers.
Tyler Colvin – HR yesterday. He’s an older rookie prospect who never played Triple-A. He’s pretty deep on the depth charts and profiles as a 4th outfielder. Has some pop in his bat, but no starting job unless The Mummy asks for his knees back from Soriano.
Chipper Jones – Glass Chipper left with a boo-boo. Boo boo, indeed. He’ll be out for 2-3 days with a strained oblique. Chipper definitely keeps strained obliques in business.
Don Kelly – Started at 3B for Detroit today. For some reason, he makes me think of Adam Dunn, Mark Reynolds, and Ian Stewart. Then again, sometimes I have a hard time seeing L’s.
Miguel Cabrera – 4-for-5, 4 RBIs and a homer. Another sober day in the office for Miggy, but what’s interesting is how he’s tried to steal twice already. If he can somehow swipe 10 bags (it’s a stretch), he could be the most valuable fantasy hitter this year.
Billy Butler -1-for-2 with his third Warning Track Fly of the year. Could lead the league in WTF’s.
Daric Barton – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs. For what it’s Wuertz, Barton reminds me of Gaby Sanchez. It’s neither a compliment nor an insult.
Nolan Reimold – HR yesterday. Take that, Achilles! Pee-ay is out with an injury and Reimold’s making the most of his time. If the Orioles come to their senses, Reimold really should be the starter. If he is, all bets are off. Or maybe that’s on. Either way, he should be owned.
Brian Matusz – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 BBs. This kinda blew my mind. When I was doing the Buy/Sell that’s coming later today, I was looking at the percentage owned at the major sites. Matusz is owned in 98% of ESPN leagues. I think Matusz is talented, so don’t take this wrong way, but he will roofie you. 98% seems way too confident and tells me people could be overrating him for this year. But the mind blowing part is coming in the next blurb, follow me…
Justin Masterson – 5 IP, 6 baserunners, 1 ER, 5 Ks. Here’s what I said in my rankings, “He induces groundballs and gets strikeouts, that’s not a combo that should be scoffed at. Even if the only people that scoff at something are in Merchant-Ivory films.” And that’s me quoting me! Oh, and Masterson’s owned in 2% of ESPN leagues. That’s two. Wha…?
Kerry Wood – Will throw from 110 feet on Friday. So he’s now pitching from 2nd base? Oh-kay. Still not returning until the end of May.
Brad Penny – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 Ks. Put a straitjacket on a pitcher and throw him in a milk can and Dave Duncan will get him out. Don’t try and figure it out, just know that Penny can now be a reliable 4th fantasy starter.
Bronson Arroyo – 8 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks. Maybe he won’t wait until the 2nd half this year to be good, but I’m not risking it. Also, Arroyo was hit by a comebacker and might miss his next start. Too bad, so sad.
Mike Sweeney – 1-for-4, 1 RBI. Dave Eggers’ favorite hitter got his first start as Seattle’s DH. He’s only DH-eligible in most leagues now and probably won’t have 1B-eligibility until end of May at the earliest. So unless you’re in a 14-team AL-only league, he’s not going to give you any value.
Doug Fister – 4 IP, 2 ER. Has there ever been a pitcher/catcher combo that warranted the ‘battery’ name more than today’s Mariner tandem of Fister-Moore?
Ichiro Suzuki/Franklin Gutierrez/Milton Bradley – It’s like having two Gold Glove outfielders and one Golden Glove outfielder.