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Looking for the Razzball Podcast? TOO BAD! It’s now Razzball Radio, and you can check out the first episode here!

Oh, hello there. I’m not quite sure why I’m greeting you like you’re in my room, but whatever. So hey. What’s up. Word. Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, you should know we are now a month-and-a-half into the season, and things are looking absolutely fantastic. And by fantastic, I mean a complete injury cluster f*ck. Ain’t no joke bro. The injuries are stacking up so much, we had to dedicate an entire series to it here at Razzball. Seth has had so much content to work with, he strained his oblique just typing that thing out. Way to take one for the team! In fact, there is so much egregious DL’ing going around, Lars Ulrich is exploring a lawsuit. Haha, get it? Eh. Anyways, you know what might be an interesting experiment? Creating an all-DL team, that, if you gazed upon the look of all these guys in the pre-season (when budding feelings of hope and joy were just forming) you might faint at the sight of it. Don’t believe me? Take a look:

C Wilin Rosario DL15
1B Chris Davis DL15
2B Jason Kipnis DL15
3B Ryan Zimmerman DL15
SS Troy Tulowitzki (Soon…)
MI Jurickson Profar DL60
CI Chase Headley DL15
OF Josh Hamilton DL15
OF Ryan Braun DL15
OF Bryce Harper DL15
OF Kole Calhoun DL15
OF Michael Cuddyer DL15
U Mark Trumbo DL15
P Clayton Kershaw DL15
P Chris Sale DL15
P Matt Cain DL15
P Hyun-Jin Ryu DL15
P Anibal Sanchez DL15
P Alex Cobb DL15
P Aroldis Chapman DL15
P Jason Grilli DL15
P Casey Janssen DL15

Boom. Look at that team right there. Sure, I’m cheating a little with Troy Tulowitzki, but just be patient and wait for it. So yeah, you show me that team before all this body-part explosioning happened, I’m leaking from multiple orifices. That right there is the state of the league. And that’s why seeing all of these injuries has me crying like that time I watched White Fang. And, you know, ahem, Up. Wolves and computer pixels, why do you cause so many allergies!

The RCL Top 10

Why the top-10? Because they’re the top-10 teams out of 1,000+? And that’s pretty amazing? I’m Ron Burgundy? Simply put, they’re the best of the best of the best, and I think they deserve a little bit recognition. BUT NOT TOO MUCH. Just a taste.

1 Tennessee Achilles Hu Are Yu? 104.2
2 Mustache Rides Take On The Jay(Wrong) Part Tres 102.1
3 Barroom Heroes Au Shizz2 102.0
4 I Have A Big Wieters Take On The Jay(Wrong) RedditVer 101.4
5 Team Dalmore RCL LEGION OF DOOM 101.1
6 Arizona Au Shizz Mierda Verde 100.4
7 Come Avisail Away With Me  What If A-Rod Was One Of Us? 100.2
8 Big League Wood Smokey’s Humidor 100.0
9 Team Stark Draft Dodgers 99.6
10 BallBag GreyHairs Kid Cuddyer’s Magical Palace 98.6

The 2014 Razzball Commenter League Master Standings (Click on it. Seriously. Do it.)

- Big League Wood, be sure to tell your league’s commish that Smokey doesn’t have a humidor. That’s ‘vaporizer’ he’s probably confusing it with. Smokey’s idea of a cigar is the not the same as the rest of us. Naw’ what I’m sayin’?

The RCL Round-Up

So, I’m not really sure what to touch on this week. But, rest assured, all my touching is legal. Maybe. Oooo, I got an idea! Last week we discussed teams that were at their offensive and pitching peaks. Well, for every reaction, there is an equal, and something-something opposite reaction. Some famous guy said that. I think it was Ernest Hemingway. Or Daffy Duck. So let’s take a look at a couple teams that, ahem, aren’t really running at peak conditions. Slightly less than that, I would say.

- Thus enters the Little Einsteins… (AH, SEE WHAT I DID ABOVE? You didn’t because I threw you off the scent with Hemingway! And Daffy Duck! I haz the intelligence.) Part of the Rizzo My Nizzo RCL, the team is tied for dead last in the Razzball universe with only 19 home runs and 92 RBI’s. For context, The Dynasty (Flatpoint High) leads the universe in home runs with 74 (My RCL #1 team is tied for 4th with 66), and Krispy Jung (Mr. Grey, Tear Down This Mauer!) leads with 241 RBI’s. I actually find it impressive that you have to multiply the Little Einsteins by a factor of like 82 to come close to those numbers. I also find it impressive because, you know, I don’t run that team… which consists of…

worstoffw6

- Yeah, that is a lot of no power… Quick question: Nate Schierholtz… why?

- Now, of course, comes the team with the most pitching woes. And that infamous certificate of accomplishment goes to the Montreal Jabronies of the Robust Herd RCL. His ERA is a universal high (5.226) and his WHIP ranks fourth highest (1.464). I’m sensing some Ernesto Frieri and Sergio Santos here… let’s go to the tape:

highesteraw6

- Yup, just as I suspected. Plus, this team was able to tap into every implosion for each pitcher. I…. would buy a rabbit’s foot immediately. Or maybe a tourniquet.

The RCL #1

The RCL #1, which sounds like a RCL made for 2001: Space Odyssey (Grey notified me that RCL #1 isn’t related to a space shuttle, but is meant to be said like The Iron Sheik.  RCL #1! RCL #1! RCL #1!), is the Friends & Family league that Grey created so we could all be his fantasy baseball punching bags. Actually, maybe not so much punching bags as mustache combs. Seems more Grey-ish to me.

Regardless, this league stars myself, Rudy, Tehol the Elder God, Prospector Scott, Nick the Podcast Host, and Sky… err, the Blue? We need to find you a better title buddy. But that’s us, that’s the family. Which, I can assure you, I’m already filing paperwork to gain emancipation. The friends are Dalton Del Don from Yahoo, Brad Johnson from FanGraphs, Ryan Carey of Mastersball, Paul Singman of Baseball Prospectus, and Tim McLeod of RotoRob.

The Standings:

rcl1standingsw6

- The gap is closing between Grey and myself. (That’s what she said.)

- Nick the Podcast Radio Host offered me Robinson Cano for Anthony Rendon, Matt Kemp, and Marcus Stroman. Much to Grey’s chagrin, I actually declined. I’m a big Rendon guy, and seeing as how he’s outperforming Cano all by himself, I didn’t think I needed to add Matt Kemp to the equation. Maybe a small sacrafice, until you see that my outfield is suffering from the aforementioned DL-vitus going around. I’M STARTING CHRIS DENORFIA FOR GODSAKES. Sure, Cano will regress a bit, but I just don’t want to wait around for it while Rendon is lighting everything on fire. And hey, Stroman could be the next Gray. The ‘a’ Gray, not the ‘e’ Grey.

Want more of the Jay? Don’t we all folks? Don’t. We. All. Well, you, in fact, can have more. AMAZING. I know. You can find Jay enjoying his new dig’s running the Football side of Razz.

From Around The Web

  1. Hawk says:
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    You could have chosen Jose Reyes for SS. He missed 3 weeks after PULLING HIS @#$@#@#$!!!~!#! HAMSTRING WHILE JOGGING DOWN TO FIRST F@#$@!ING BASE ON….

    wait for it….

    THE FIRST DAMNED AT BAT OF THE F!@#$!@ING SEASON

    Cust kayin’

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Hawk: I wanted to keep it current. But yeah, I thought about it.

  2. Greyismyhero says:
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    lol@ Tehols new name…hahahahaah Tehol the pathetic….classic, thats what I do whjen my teams suck, I change the name…hahahaha

  3. Toe Knee Arm Ass says:
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    I have/had 6 of the guys on that list. I also have reyes had Paxton too. I’m thinking of changing my team name to the anchor

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @tulo: I figured this might happen… good hustle.

  4. Principal Blackman says:
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    Not sure what Smokey was…ahem…smoking when he named that RCL but it sure is his doing.

      • Smokey

        Smokey says:
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        @Jay: I think I am mad at this…oh wait no

  5. OaktownSteve says:
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    I’ve always wondered if there might be a better way to rank. But to my discredit, I’ve never thought of one. Our FCL RCL is brutally competitive, so we don’t have one team in the top 50.

    By the way all credit to you for your pre-season backing of Tanaka. You were on it.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @OaktownSteve: Yeah, I hear ya. Rudy touched on this a few weeks back I think. There really is no perfect scenario… we can only try to balance the best we can.

    • mauledbypandas says:
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      @OaktownSteve: Now that I have Hawkins I shall rule the FCL!!!! Tune in next time for another episode of “Reality Sets In”

      • J-FOH says:
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        @mauledbypandas: Mad max should really help me over come losing 4 of my 5 drafted OF’s……

  6. Chicken Dinner says:
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    Miggy/Leonys or Longo/Braun?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Chicken Dinner: Taking Miggy… I think Braun fades as the year progresses.

  7. Van Hammersly says:
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    Hey Jay… my team’s (“A Man Named Brady” in the Hakuna de Aza league) total league points are accurate in the Master Standings but all of the stat categories are jacked up. If you could get around to fixing them I will be a pal for life. Thanks so much for keeping track of all this!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Van Hammersly: Rudy does all the hard crunching, I’ll be sure to let him know.

        • @Rudy Gamble: Fixed. Was a weird Excel formula glitch that screwed up the stats (but not the standings points) for less than 10 teams.

          • Van Hammersly says:
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            @Rudy Gamble: Thank you, Rudy! I hope it wasn’t too much of a pain-in-the-ass to fix.

            • nah, was cake. never would’ve caught it if you hadn’t found it so thanks!

  8. Smell The Glove says:
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    Need trade advice:

    I trade Rizzo to get Jered Weaver
    Or
    I trade Machado to get Yordano Ventura

    I’m DEEP at CI with Abreu, Longoria, Arenado, Rizzo, Machado, Middlebrooks and LaRoche (didn’t mean to stock up that way bit just happened with early DL issues and looking for backups and taking best player available and not wanting to drop them for nothing in return.

    I’m uber shallow at starters so need help there.

    Am I entertaining too light an offer due to my orgy of riches at CI or would it be an OK deal for either in a vacuum?

    If not then who of my CI would you match up with those two pitchers for a legit deal or maybe other guys he has such as Cueto, Haren or E. Santana?

    He has the opposite of my problem so were trying to make something work (he also has CC and Cain)

  9. Zar says:
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    I’m glad to know that my team isn’t dead last in ERA and WHIP…..Although I’m in the bottom 30 in ERA, WHIP, and wins. Ugh. At least I’m in the top 5 in Steals? Maybe I should go dump some steals for some wins……. I had Santos and Valverde……Still trying to recover.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Zar: Yeah, that’s a double dose of bleh.

  10. Wallpaper Paterson says:
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    Revere for Pedroia?

      • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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        @Jay: Good thing I turned it down then. I hate the Phillies and one category players.

        Pedroia has been on the market since first week of the season. I inherited him and Utley, but I drafted Rendon and can play him at 2B. I also have Zimmerman and Seager..

        Best offers for Pedroia were Revere and Homer Bailey.

  11. FagSwag says:
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    Pick 2: Gee, Niese, Hutchison, McCarthy

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @FagSwag: Gee.. I say Hutch. Clever, right?

  12. Alan says:
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    So Jay I am sitting here pondering whether trading J Up for Braun was a smart choice a month ago. Since Braun is on the Dl, this had to be a good move right?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Alan: Yeah, not a big fan of J-Up outside of April… and maybe August.

  13. Plumbing4 says:
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    Thoughts on this trade? I need some help at 2B (Gyorko is currently there) and RP.

    Trade Ozuna, Bogaerts, Jesse Chavez

    For

    Romo, Zobrist, Homer Bailey

    Will this get it done or am I paying too much?

    Bogaerts and Ozuna are currently on my bench

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      Honestly, that’s a great trade for you.

  14. J Boy says:
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    Jay, help me out – 14 team roto keeper league:

    I give Zobrist, Profar, Peavy – get Andrus, Frieri, H.Bailey

    I’m in need of saves/steals but not sure if I’m overpaying – what do you think?

    Thanks man, love the Razz!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @J Boy: yeh, I’m okay with it.

      • J Boy says:
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        @Jay: Thanks Jay – keep up the good work, the site is awesome

  15. Nick says:
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    I own Gregory Polanco in one league, but just dropped him in my other because some dumbass dropped David Robertson. Is he still worth stashing after declining the Pirates’ revent multi-year offer?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Nick: I think so.

  16. Wash Heights says:
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    Whyyy are people dropping Wilin Rosario?!? Is this dude people’s 2nd catcher? He was my first in one league, McCann in the other… Gattis back-up in both and yea he’s outperforming both but nevertheless.. To drop Wilin.. WHAT?

    • Nick says:
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      @Wash Heights: Same happened in my league. Swooped him right up.

  17. Wash Heights says:
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    I mean.. the dude has the flu.

    • Bi-Felicia says:
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      @Wash Heights: it’s called playing with chimps. League im in the idiot dropped cargo, desmond, Adam Jones, oh and lance Lynn, & Belt. I play him this week it’s a 20 cat H2H league. Crushing him 17-3. I told him to just give up this league in the comments. He’s in last place lol

  18. Sea says:
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    You’re welcome for the 2 DL slot reminder thread :)

Comments are closed.