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Just kidding. I actually had Tommy John surgery while typing this. Because all the kids are doing it nowadays. It’s so hip, Von Miller went to see Dr. Andrews before it was cool. So what’s the deal here with all of these injuries? Is it the lack of steroids? HGH? Greenies? Cocaine? Naw, cocaine is still present in the game. How else do you explain Matt Williams’ and Fredi Gonzalez’s line-up cards? Either they’re trolling us, or they’re making it snow in their offices. What this post presupposes is, maybe it’s both? Anyhow, let’s take a gander at what’s going on in your RCL universe. I say it’s yours, because I think I’m the only person who has 10 teams, AND 90% of them are taking on water and sinking. Water from the tears that I cry when fantasy baseball goes wrong. OR from global warming. In which case, whew, I’m not a polar bear. So there’s that, I guess.

The RCL Top 10

Why the top-10? Because they’re the top-10 teams out of 1,000+? And that’s pretty amazing? I’m Ron Burgundy? Simply put, they’re the best of the best of the best, and I think they deserve a little bit recognition. BUT NOT TOO MUCH. Just a taste.

1 Philly Cuban Mr. Grey, Tear Down This Mauer! 102.0
2 I Have A Big Wieters Take On The Jay(Wrong) RedditVer 100.5
3 Rube Waddell’s Shiny Objects Magnificent Mustachioed Men 100.2
4 Team R to the Izzo Thunder Down Under 99.7
5 Trinidad Scorpions Take On The Jay(Wrong) Ver. 4 97.9
6 Grey’s Grundle RCL Champions League 97.5
7 Yu only YOLO once Muscle Car Fantatics 97.2
8 Inglewood Condiments Kid Cuddyer’s Magical Palace 97.2
9 Juuuuusst a bit outside 2014 Razzball Writers League 96.9
10 King SoDo The Dirty Turban League 96.6

The 2014 Razzball Commenter League Master Standings

– That’s right folks, I might not be in the top-10, or really, the top-50. Technically, I’m probably not in the top-750, which is easier than you think… but for what I lack in team power, I make up for in league power. Whatever that means. I have three fantasy players in the top-10 that are in my leagues (yes, I’m including the Razzball Writers League). So while I’m not physically near this list, more like a separate biosphere, well, I can be there spirit.

– Oh, and by-the-way, that Juuuuusst a bit outside team that’s destroying the writers league? That’s not even a contributor. Nope. That’s the only non-contributor in the league, like a serene island of mischief and wonder. I may have just described the plot of Fantasy Island, but whatevs. His name is Brian, and he’s the lead-mod of the Fantasy Baseball sub over at Reddit (where we Razzballers have been known to hang out). Here’s what Brian told me when I reached out to him and made sure he had a handle on what he was doing and why he decided to do it against us… “Uhh… I’m in San Antonio for business right now, but… that’s me… and that team blows… how did I manage that?” (First, you’re lying. I’ve been to San Antonio. The only business that happens there is seeing the Alamo and figuring out why Tex-Mex exists. Second, it’s still April. Let’s leave the humble brags out of this for the moment.) “Make sure you pimp my prowess extra firm. Bourn, Crawford, Hunter, Ortiz, Alfonso, Prado, Haren, Peavy, Bartolo, Lackey, Ervin… back in ’06 this would have been a hell of a squad…” (So, I’m not sure if this is pimping his prowess, but he does have a point. That team is ridiculous circa 2006. But it’s 2014 and half that team is already receiving social security checks.)

– I want to point something out, Yu only YOLO once. You realize that’s an acronym, right? So when I say your team name, it goes like this– “Yu only you-only-live-once once”. Yes, I have an Eng/Lit degree, but no, I’m not specifically a Grammar Nazi, which I guess is good for the Pronoun Jews (HAHA, English humor… eh), but that sentence really wants me to pass out, ya know? It’s something Yoda would say when drunk and high on ‘shrooms. Also, Pro-tip: Probably don’t mention your team name to any Hindu’s.

The RCL Round-Up

– I know I did this last post, but I’m really curious about the effectiveness of transactions, activity, and how any of you with 40+ moves have a life. Living in your mom’s basement cuddling empty Milano bags is not a life, if you were wondering. (That’s so much projection, I should work at a movie theatre.) Just in case you were curious, and not a cat, because who wants to die, amiright? Rudy actually had a pre-season series (here, here, and here)  taking a look at the strategy of doing mass movements (HEHE) and what, if any, is the effect. Don’t look at me for the answers, I suck at math, which might invalidate me as an Asian. But I’m only half, so I’m actually pretty good at parallel parking. That being said, here are the top-five teams based on transactions, and their current ranking. Does it correlate yet? I SEE A RESOUNDING ‘MAYBE‘.

23 The Hippos ECFBL 93.7 60
138 Big Magoo RCL Champions League 79.8 47
477 William Navidson Ash Tree Lane 61.3 54
640 The Mendoza Lime Cairo Century Cricketers 58.5 43
804 BeA$TmOdE 187?S Razzball (RCL) 54.0 37

– So, you might have thought I was exaggerating that my teams were sinking in the black abyss known as fantasy irrelevance, also known as Nick Punto’s career, but I’m not. Not. At. All. I’m all for showing off my flaws, but I don’t know… it takes something special, at least I think, to achieve complete and utter RCL collapse. I now hold the last team overall, out of 1000+. Behold, my work of art… (Just to give you context, I’m giving you the details on the team ahead of me, just to see how harrowing my team has been.) Ahem. (Sorry Team baucom… but misery loves company.)

Rk Team PTS R HR RBI SB AVG W Sv ERA WHIP K
1007 Team baucom 29.1 56 8 50 7 0.273 2 3 3.311 1.401 74
1008 Talk About The Wrong Stuff 27.1 65 6 44 10 0.225 1 4 4.059 1.217 93

Talk about nailing the team name…

- I’ve spent a lot of time taking care of both ends (that’s what she said) of the RCL spectrum, but right now, I want to take some time to look at the most vanilla team the past three weeks of play. And that would be the team that is exactly in the middle of the overall standings. And that’s the 504th placed team at the moment, Farquhar Or Fister from the RCL Flatpoint High. I see what you did there with your team name. Next time, try Kluber or Fister Furbush?. It does a better job of conveying what you are aiming for, but it’s even more offensive. So, let’s take a look at the vanilla team. No matter what, needs more fudge tracks…

vanillateam

Yep, needs more fudge, like most things in life. Also needs more Mark Buehrle and Hunter Pence, but yeah, I see it.

The RCL #1

The RCL #1, which sounds like a RCL made for 2001: Space Odyssey (Grey notified me that RCL #1 isn’t related to a space shuttle, but is meant to be said like The Iron Sheik.  RCL #1! RCL #1! RCL #1!), is the Friends & Family league that Grey created so we could all be his fantasy baseball punching bags. Actually, maybe not so much punching bags as mustache combs. Seems more Grey-ish to me.

Regardless, this league stars myself, Rudy, Tehol the Elder God, Prospector Scott, Nick the Podcast Host, and Sky… err, the Blue? We need to find you a better title buddy. But that’s us, that’s the family. Which, I can assure you, I’m already filing paperwork to gain emancipation. The friends are Dalton Del Don from Yahoo, Brad Johnson from FanGraphs, Ryan Carey of Mastersball, Paul Singman of Baseball Prospectus, and Tim McLeod of RotoRob.

The Standings:

RCL1week3

- Every time I see Del Don’s team name, I always think of Yahoo the drink, and that it’s in Spanish… actually telling me to wear it. Yeah, I’m weird.

- Hey, Grey, yeah, you. Pssst. I’m down here. Lower. LOWER. Yeah, that’s me in 11th place. You may think you’re safe. But I have Rudy working on some Calculus or something numbers and cosines with derivatives and whatnot. We’re coming for you. (There’s gotta be a better way to say that.)

Want more of the Jay? Don’t we all folks? Don’t. We. All. Well, you, in fact, can have more. AMAZING. I know. You can find Jay enjoying his new dig’s running the Football side of Razz.

  1. Tehol Beddict says:
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    I don’t even get mentioned in the entire post, and I’m 6th overall in entire RCL standings, in the champions league no less? You must have missed that “Grey’s Grundle” is I, Tehol Beddict. that sounded weird but come on son!!!! #DISGRACE

    • Julio White says:
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      @Tehol Beddict:

      How many model planes do you fit in your vagina?

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Julio White: your language is out of line, Julio!

        But to answer your question: about 3.65

    • Gonzo_The_Great says:
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      @Tehol Beddict: Tee-Hee – I’m beating Tehol? (Gonzo the Great is sending love to Hova and repping R to the Izzo)

      I look forward to throwing you from your throne atop Mt. Olympus and taking over the pantheon of fantasy gods. Maniacal laugh.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Tehol Beddict: That’s for ruining the last GOT episode on twitter.

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Jay: I didn’t think about that till it was too late. #MyBad and I;ll give myself a #Disgrace. I deserved not being mentioned. It won’t happen again, sweet Jay

  2. Tehol Beddict says:
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    p.s. FIRST!!!!!

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Fungazi: frowny face

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Tehol Beddict: I think you were second to yourself…

  3. Bi-Felicia says:
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    I own beastmode 187 …yes I’ve been making alot of moves. Batty calls and vulture moves. Anyways where’s my Brooklyn 99 team ranked?.Is there a place to see these rankings?

    • Bi-Felicia says:
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      @Bi-Felicia: Nvrm I found the rankings #309

  4. Chicken Dinner says:
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    My CJ Wilson/ YoGo for his Heyward/Chapman

    H2H Points

    My OF (start 5) Stanton/ Pacman/ JUp/ Leonys/ Crawford/ Carter
    My Staff Lynn/ Shelby/ Jimenez/ Minor/ Taiwan/ Skaggs/ Odorizzi/ Richards/ RRoss/ Kelly

  5. Bi-Felicia says:
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    I don’t see anything wrong with swapping out hitters over the week for upside BVP matchups. Sometimes it’s beneficial ex. Dan Uggla went yard 2x last night. I swapped him for blackmon in a league. Id never drop my core guys for a batty call

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Bi-Felicia: I don’t see anything wrong with it either. I’m just curious.

  6. The Big Yabu says:
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    FYI and FWIW: Your count of transactions is way off, at least for our league (Ones are GOOD, right?): My team (Backdoor Sliders, currently 20th overall) was in the mid 40s at that point, Bromelia Famiglia was in the upper 20s, etc.
    Otherwise — uh, y’know, pretty good post I ‘spoze…

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @The Big Yabu: Like I said, math confuses me. Or maybe something else happened… I’spoze.

  7. The Guru

    The Guru says:
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    I’m #69! A dirty turban indeed.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @The Guru: #ThatsHot

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @The Guru: Better than 96, as I always say.

  8. APOLOGIES – just found a bug in the way I was importing Transactions. It was correct for only a handful of teams – for others, it was their Games Started.

    Not Jay’s fault.

    This issue has been fixed on the RCL Standings page.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Rudy Gamble: Just gives me another reason to mention it next post. I see no downside here.

  9. The Big Yabu says:
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    Cool, I’m glad that’s been taken care of.
    I’m not really sure WHY I’m glad about that, but I am anyway.
    Maybe it’s because I want everyone to know what a chronic rosterbator I am? Ewww….

  10. Eric says:
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    In what order do you value rostering these players considering who gets called up first and what value they’ll bring to the majors?

    Gregory Polanco
    Javier Baez
    Jonathan Singleton

    • Alex says:
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      I value your @Eric: Polanco, Baez……………..Singleton

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Eric: You have it ordered correctly,

      • Eric says:
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        @Jay:

        Thank you gentleman

  11. SheriffMcRawDawg says:
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    curious to know what the higher ERAs are. I’d like to think my 5.487 is right up there. 1.548 whip to match. the f I need pitching for

    • losapher says:
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      @SheriffMcRawDawg: Almost exactly what mine are. Last place in both cats. And I thought I had a good staff…

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @SheriffMcRawDawg: The master standings are sortable. Should be able to see it there.

      • SheriffMcRawDawg says:
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        @Jay: oh thank god – there are 4 ppl worse off in the ERA department than I… out of OVER ONE THOUSAND TEAMS. F YOU UBALDO, VERAS, JIM JOHNSON, AND BRUCE CHEN WHO I STREAMED FOR SOME REASON

  12. Vaxxen says:
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    12 team, keep 5 league. In a vacuum which side do you prefer?
    (R, HR, RBI, SB, AVG, OPS / IP, SV, ERA, WHIP, QS)

    McCutchen (Second round)
    J. Fernandez (Fifteenth round)

    OR

    Goldschmidt (Ninth round)
    F. Hernandez (Third round)

    I currently own McCutchen and J. Fernandez, the rounds indicate what the cost of keeping the player is. Any insight would be appreciated.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Vaxxen: The Goldy side.

      • Vaxxen says:
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        @Jay: Thank you kindly!

  13. Jacob says:
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    Cespedes and Felix Hernandez for my Justin Upton and Greinke? H2H most cats league..sell high on Upton or ride with him to the promised land?! Thanks a lot!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Jacob: Yeah, I’d try to trade Upton before May.

  14. Zar says:
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    And Springer gets called up! Doesn’t he bear an uncanny resemblance to Stanton? Or mayber Colin Kaepernick?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Zar: Or Russell Wilson?

  15. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:
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    Thanks, Jay; noticed that Rudy has found a glitch and fixed it, but presently, NIK % Nite has made 114 moves in the ECFBL, which I am quite sure must be the highest. His present score is 64 good for 8th place.

  16. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:
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    Also, I will keep on pushing until the end of the season that the REAL winner of this league is the first place team in the highest ranked RCL, which for the last three seasons has been the ECFBL, for all you newcomers who think that they have a profound expertise of this game – better men and woman have had their butt wiped in this league. Presently, as noted, is the new Commish, Matt T., with the Hippos; he is also #3 in the total RCL team listing with Rube Waddell’s Shiny Objects Magnificent Mustachioed Men (at 100.2), and the rest of the members should bow and sing hosannas to this prodigy of fantasy. Thus far this season, the leader is Razzball’s in her Mouth 2 along with Frequent Commenter, at an exemplary 105, Razzblurys hits the mark at 104, then a number of leagues tied at 103, including ECFBL has a 103 League Index, tied with Take on the Jay(Wrong) Version 4, 2014 Razzball Writers , RCL FIPing the Bird, League, Kid Cuddyer’s Magical Palace, Cougs r Us, Cairo Century Cricketers – I think that I have it all, but feel it is vital that all of these leagues be recognized, because they are all a cut above the jib, so to speak. Of course, 10% of the season is still a rather small sample size, but the more astute competitors are beginning to appear, and it is important to recognize them, as it is there were the game is being played. Paulie

    • mauledbypandas says:
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      @Paulie Allnuts: completely agree. It does not seem like there is enough emphasis put on the league competitive index.

      I also want to point out that everyone who crunches these numbers and had a hand creating the machine that computes them has my undying respect. And for the love of god keep the hittertron away from the machine that computes the numbers!

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @mauledbypandas: I sense a little bias.

        And that is the wonder known as Rudy. Really quite amazing.

        • mauledbypandas says:
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          @Jay: I sense no bias. I sense an imperfect system. I think the overall winner is probably not the best team, but the team in a competitive league that dominates. Extremely competitive leagues always seem to do well in the overall standings but never quite at the very top. I say this having won the overall title last year. I think I was lucky to dominate a very good league. The same team would probably not have done as well in one of the top couple of leagues. It seems to me like the competitive index should have more variation. It is usually something like 95-105ish… seems a little bit narrow.

          I wonder if it is not possible to create something to take the raw totals in each category and assign point values and compute it that way?

          • @mauledbypandas: The RCL_PTS are taking the raw totals in each category and computing PTS based on it. That’s 50% of a team’s points – the other 50% are from their league.

            The competitive index is the only way to goose up the numbers for those in more competitive leagues. It does a solid job but it can only do so much. The reality is that if someone gets 115 standings points in a less competitive league (where clearly their stats are going to be awesome), it’s pretty hard for a team with 100 standings points in a tough league to overcome that unless the competitive index was super high.

            • mauledbypandas says:
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              @Rudy Gamble: ahh, I did not know about the 50/50 split. I don’t want you to think I am criticizing all of your hard work, I appreciate all the number crunching and behind the scenes toil that goes on.
              Thank you for the explanation of how the total is computed.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Paulie Allnuts: I think the top-10 section takes care of that. I’m not going to limit my audience to 10 readers… my goal is to try and give credit, but also expand coverage.

  17. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:
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    And before I forget, great job, Jay!

  18. Ghost of the Disappeared says:
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    Mr Wrong: HELP ME!!!!!

    The MAGPIES are toxic – the EPA ought to shut them down. They are oozing poopoo.

    I went 1 for 34 last week (cannot remember a worse night in FBB). 5 or so days straight well under 200 BA… My team couldn’t hit water when swimming in lake right now.

    Then a mini RP disaster struck = Fieri to Santos to Henderson to Smith (whom I had picked up to cover Frieri) to Doolittle 16 base runners 12 ERs in 4 innings. The worst linked line, I can remember out of my RPs ever.

    Ghost of the Disappeared falls to floor moaning, streaming tears, rattling his chains and sucking his thumb.

    That’s it. I quit!

    I’m never playing FBB ever ever ever again…

    I’m going to end it all!

    Shite!!! I can’t even do that right. I’m a disappeared ghost thanks to the LidLess Eye.

  19. Ghost of the Disappeared says:
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    The weather too.. 3 or 4 players out yesterday -cuz, I don’t sit in front of a puter all day – I don;t catch these

    I really don’t like the twitter aspects of ESPN play. It would be a better game with a midnight deadline for rosters IMO A level playing field.

    The ESPN game rewards technology and FBB service info

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