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uncle_grey

Welcome to another season of the Razzball Commentator Leagues! After typing that, I now know why we abbreviate that shiitake mushroom. I’m out of breath and burned 89 calories just from typing that out, and that doesn’t even include trying to figure how I spelled ‘Commentator’ wrong. Apparently I added three m’s too many. So many m’s and no M&M’s! Such is life, amiright? Not really, because that makes no sense whatsoever. Anyhow, let’s get to your first question. No, I’m not VinWins. I’m not even VinLoses. Who, interesting story, is actually the cousin of Vin’s mother’s brother’s second cousin’s friend of a friend. TOO INTERESTING. Regardless, I’m Jay, and I’m here to narrate the most important fantasy story out there this season, and that is the story of YOUR 2014 RCL…

Why hello there. I’m not sure why I’m greeting you now, and why I’m doing it like you’re standing in front of me, but take from it what you will. With lot’s of bacon, hopefully. As the title stated, all of us at Razzball want you to be a commissioner. Why? Because the title is just so darn awesome. That’s why I’ve created five leagues so far, and will create another every time one fills up until I reach my max amount of ten. Because I just don’t want to be Commissioner Longfellow. Na-unh. I want to be Commissioner, deep breath… Commissioner, Commissioner, Commissioner, Commissioner, Commissioner, exhale/inhale, because I’m not that good at holding my breath, annnnd… Commissioner, wait, how many are we up to? Seven? Commissioner, Commissioner, Commissioner Longfellow. Or, ya know, Commissioner Longfellow x10, if you’re into the whole brevity thing.

Now, you don’t have to be awesome x10 like me. You can just be level one awesome by becoming a commish. OR you be level two awesome by commish’ing two leagues. Now, you may be asking, why should I do such a thing? I’ll answer in picture form:

razzballhoodie

BOOM SHAKALAKA

That’s why. CASE CLOSED. The more you play, the better chance you have to win that cotton thing of awesome. Not only that, but you have a greater chance to draft Chase Headley on your team(s). Oh, wait a second, that’s my reason. SHHHHHH. So what are you waiting for? Keep scrolling down and sign up to be a commissioner! If you already are one, seriously bro, have another go at it. Or be a pioneer and go for three. Be crazy!

Need to know how? Here are the instructions, with me quoting Grey. Because he quotes himself way too much. Don’t be such a Grey-hog!

If you want to see how it worked last year, go here.  So we’re going to fill up as many fantasy leagues as we can for the next seven weeks.  Each fantasy baseball league will be a mixed league, 12 team, snake draft, roto, 5×5, 5 OFs, one Middle Infielder, one Corner Infielder, one Utility, 9 pitchers, 20 game eligibility, 180 Games Started max, 1000 IP minimum.  Unlike previous years, we will be going with TWO DL SLOTS.  The only things you need to change from the default is the 180 Games Started and the TWO DL SLOTS.  Please be vigilant about having the exact same league rules and setup as everyone else.  The lineup is also known as:  C/1B/2B/SS/3B/CI/MI/5 OF/UTIL/9 P/3 BENCH/2 DL with 180 Games Started and 1000 IP minimum.  The fantasy leagues will be played in ESPN and they will be free to join.

TO JOIN A LEAGUE
Click the LINK in the ‘League Link’ column (see below grid) and enter the PASSWORD at ESPN.  Emails are there for some leagues, but you shouldn’t need to email anyone.

TO START A LEAGUE
Please create a league in ESPN based on the league rules reference above.  Step by step:  Hit Create.  Then Create ESPN Custom (middle option), Name League, Change to 12 Teams, Restriction Type: None, Open to All Users, Access: change to Private, create Password, leave as Roto and Snake, Make Draft Date and Time, Create.  From Default settings all you have to do is change to TWO DL SLOTS and 180 Starts by pitchers.  So, you go to ROSTERS and Click “Edit Roster Settings.”  There, change to 2 DL Slots and 180 Starts (the counter will change to 20.0 per slot).  Then SUBMIT Roster Settings.  Finally, Create Your League!  (Important Note: Make sure league is viewable to public but requiring a password to avoid non-Razzballers joining.)   When that’s finished, click here. You will be permissioned shortly so you can add your league info to the Google Doc (the below grid cannot be edited from this page).  On that Google Doc, you will need to enter your name, league link, password and please UPDATE the number of openings as your league fills up.   That’s it.  Oh, and don’t use your bank account password.

From Around The Web

  1. Buffalo Runner says:
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    MLB starting the season on 3/22 in Australia is ridiculous

  2. The Ghost of the Disappeared says:
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    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo

    YOU’RE ALIVE!!!!! Great!

    Got to go. Back in a bit.

  3. The Ghost of the Disappeared says:
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    Jay: I’ve been hanging out in our league’s dugout (below the clubhouse) night and day. Hoping to see you out working on the diamond or field or something …. NO JOY.

    I miss your RB BB shows SO much. Sky and Mike and Scott try to pick up the slack. But for all their good and worthy hard work. They lack the highly developed cultured approach, natural panache and ebullient sensitivities (a hard thing to combine) your shows bring to RB FBB. Besides all that, you are proven to tolerate me… I never feel disappeared when you’re around.

    It is terrible waking up to the LE every week day and knowing your are not going to be there later to sooth away some of the horrors of that. Not even you, can erase completely all the searing memories and damage done by that ever open eye. But at least, you help.

    On back to our league…

    Has anyone considered the menu at the snack bar for our league??? They are always overlooked, if you ask me. I was thinking, well crafted canapes and bubbly for the draft – something upscale,
    to set the J Wrong league/s apart from the other more ordinary/pedestrian RB league’s drafts.

    One more thing, the ESPN 180 starts max is a misnomer… You can through trickery have a few more … It is a hole in the rules that should be fixed.. At the very least, explained better in the rules and not allowed to be hidden from owners who have not played the game in the past. Shame on ESPN.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @The Ghost of the Disappeared: so many acronyms, so little time.

      I don’t think anyone has thought of snack bar period. Sad. If we do have one, I want tapas.

    • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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      @The Ghost of the Disappeared: and teasing people (without informing them) who don’t know about this wrinkle isn’t “shame on somebody”.

  4. A Hill O' Beans says:
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    I’m commissioning a new RCL, in addition to the 2 I’m already in, but I’m just waiting to get permissioned to update the spreadsheet. I’m not sure how long that takes though.

      • A Hill O' Beans says:
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        @Jay: Thanks Jay, looks like Rudy added me so I’m good now. Appreciate it though.

  5. mauledbypandas says:
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    A note to whoever wins this year. Be careful where you get your sweet sweatshirt sent. Some asshole in my building stole my prize from last year. I’m pretty sure it was the guys who were selling heroin to Phillip Seymour Hoffman but they are in jail now so I can’t ask them.

    Translation: commish a league!

      • mauledbypandas says:
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        @Jay: I appreciate it. It sucks. How will the world know about my noble victory!?!

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @mauledbypandas: I sense a manhunt coming.

          I support this.

          • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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            @Jay: they should give bonuses to all the other heroin dealers who’s clients didn’t die. It would promote being a good dealer.

  6. Tehol Beddict says:
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    How many leagues can I possibly participate in and give my full attention to?!?!? My legend could crumble if I don’t stay on top of all of them and thats unacceptable.

    • A Hill O' Beans says:
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      @Tehol Beddict: Hey Tehol, I figured I’d hit you up since I see you on here. I just realized (via comment above) that the season starts on March 22nd, and our league (Beddict the Saintly and Friends) drafts on March 23rd. Any idea what happens with games that occur prior to the draft? Do the stats count, or not? Also, and I’m just curious, did you realize we were drafting after the season starts when you set it up?

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @A Hill O’ Beans: That stats accumulated will be retro-active. Basically, whoever you select, the stats will come with them.

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @A Hill O’ Beans: well I guess old Beddict blew it again guys. Id like you to accept my deepest apology and I totally blame Jay Wrong.

  7. Big Magoo

    Big Magoo says:
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    Two spots remaining in the Champions League. Any RCL champions from ’13 looking for a step up in competition, check out this post:

    http://razzball.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=33&t=36406

    I’m trying, Jay! Should be filled soon, hopefully.

    • thefaketom says:
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      @Big Magoo: Sorry I just sent you like 3 emails…damn yahoo…

  8. The Ghost of the Disappeared says:
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    I guess, you only get a couple of minutes for FBB when you are stuck in the RB NFL gulag…

    Bbbbbbbbuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

  9. Mikeup says:
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    How many catchers?

  10. Brett says:
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    I was ok with being your second. Knowing you had a third and all felt a lil weird, but i came to terms with it. But ten? This shits gettin outta hand. What kinda dirty fantasy whore do i look like? You better be superman Jay. Im talkin Christopher Reeve in this biatch.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Brett: 10 leagues ain’t nothin’.

      Trust me, I know how to lead 120 men into battle. I mean, I don’t. But, hey, you guys know where to find me. Checks and balances and some other poly-sci stuff.

      • Brett says:
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        @Jay:Nice. Way better than i could attempt. i’ve got about 4 leagues in me. Any more and i dont think the wifey would have me.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Brett: I have the power of singleness

  11. Ghost of the Disappeared says:
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    Jay: Hope, you are in a better today

  12. Chief says:
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    Hey Jay you talked me into starting my own league, how does the permission to add info to the spreadsheet work? I saw a comment earlier asking, but i’m curious man, let me in and let the ass kicking begin! ha ha

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Chief: Awesome! There should be a share button in the top right of the Google doc. If not, email me your gmail name to jay@razzball.com.

  13. Chief says:
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    Thanks man! Rudy let me in. Awesome. How do you get a cool avatar picture like you got? I commented and a random fishing picture of mine popped up. What is that linked too? I can’t wait for games to start!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Chief: just made it myself. Not sure on your pic. Maybe its filled from google?

  14. Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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    are you really comfortable having the password “password” keeping out non-razzballers?

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