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The_Good_The_Bad_and_The_Ugly

The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly. AKA, yo momma. ICE BURN.

Hey, really quick, did you hear the news? Or, I guess in this case, read the news? Razzball has a radio now! AND we’re going on tour this August. That’s right, Nick the Podcast Host and I will be traveling to every NFL city to have a beer with you! Click here for the details.

So here we are, another week gone by, another wave of drafts. And for this post, we’ll be playing a game. And that game is taking a look at your league drafts and deciding which picks were good, which were bad, and which were ugly. Don’t take it personally though, as I’m sure you could look at my teams and pick apart the decision making process I had. Which is pretty much alcohol and homerism. But really, there is no perfect snake draft. ONLY PERFECT BOOBS. Just kidding. All boobs are perfect. Honestly, this post is really just a vehicle to mention Clint Eastwood. The spaghetti western version. Not that having a stroke at the Republican convention version. So let’s take a look at some of the RCL leagues that drafted this past week, in no particular order, and pick them apart. And don’t worry, I’m plenty hard on myself. That’s what she said. Wait, what?

Take On The Jay(Wrong) ilgob!

Woot. One of my leagues right off the bat. Let’s get down and dirty… (For those curious, I’m in 10 RCL’s this year, and the trouble with being in 10 leagues isn’t keeping track of everything, but finding clever names for them. I may have failed here, but if I did, at least it was in another language. The language of my ancestors. I guess I could have gone to my Irish side for inspiration, but that would just be me slurring merry drinking songs and wife-beating. HAHA. Too funny.)

The Good –

2.22 Joey Votto, The Balking Dead. Value alert!

2.24 Giancarlo Stanton, Javy Lopez’s Knee Sweat. Super value alert!

8.89 Jedd Gyorko, Big Ol’ Mr. Knish. Homer alert! But also a good value.

The Bad –

7.84 Wilin Rosario, She Gives Great Headley. (That’s me… drafting a catcher way way too high. Yay me! Ugh…)

Rusty Trumbones for drafting four pitchers with his first six picks. He said a program told him to do it. You ain’t never seen The Matrix bro? You have the perfect Cliff Notes right there!

The Ugly –

Basically the entire Los Angeles Razzers team. The highlights involved drafting Yadier Molina and Joe Mauer in the 6th and 7th round and the egregious selection of Kris Medlen. Does it matter what round he went? Not really, any round is a hearty fail. But, in this case, the 11th round seems a tad bit high, don’t you think? (Don’t worry, I’m not this mean. It was on auto-draft… which furthers my point. MATRIX PEOPLE. Don’t trust these machines…)

Kosher Puig

The Good –

2.22 Troy Tulowitzki, Solid As Iraq. Bonus points for team name. (If I find a team named ‘First Ever Analrapist’, they’ll get all the points. It’s not the pronunciation that you should be worried about.) Also, Tulowitzki is about as solid as Iraq. Geo-political humor FTW.

12.137 Danny Salazar, The Oppo Boppos. People are still forgetting about this guy. DON’T. That was my stern typing.

The Bad –

1.7 Clayton Kershaw, Algorithmic Holepunchers. Yup, it’s coming.

greySTkershawHeadExplosionsmall

4.47 Allen Craig, Myhitta Myhitta Myhitta. Yeah, I know corner depth is a problem this season, BUT it ain’t this bad, is it?

The Ugly –

12.135 Kris Medlen, Stu-Nod. DOH!

Cairo Century Cricketers

The Good –

2.18, Troy Tulowitzki, Johnny Ringworm. Good value alert!

3.29, Giancarlo Stanton, Balco Bombers. Super good value alert!

The Bad –

3.34 Craig Kimbrel, Mua HAHA. Hmmmm….

The Ugly –

Bar-B-Que RBI’s 2, for owning both Carlos Gonzalez AND Jason Heyward. There’s like a hex or something here that will cause you to strain an oblique and be out until All-Star break…

John Olerud’s Helmet

The Good –

2.19 Joey Votto, CC Needs A Sabathia. It’s true. He does. Probably a sandwich too.

14.161 Manny Machado, You’re Teheran Us Apart. Another great team name. Kudos. Which I thought was always a cracker. I mean, think about it.

19.219 Rick Porcello, Parker Brothers Pagans. BACON! BACON! We all do some shakin’ for dat BACON! What? That’s totally a saying…

The Bad –

Kemping It Real for drafting Carlos Gonzalez and Troy Tulowitzki back-to-back. Next is stigmata and 100 days on the DL. FOR ALL OF US.

14.159 Andrelton Simmons, Evansville Aces. Yeah, SS is so dearthy… I understand. But this doesn’t feel right. Oh, Evansville is in Georgia? WEIRD.

Paris Froggies, for drafting a pitcher with his first pick, and selecting five pitchers in his first eight picks. One ace is a good thing. Two aces isn’t really necessary, but puts you in a good position to get some pitching cat’s. But three is overkill.

The Ugly –

11.126 Kris MedlenCC Needs A Sabathia. That’s good hustle to end up on the Good list AND Ugly list. Bravo…

 

Want more of the Jay? Don’t we all folks? Don’t. We. All. Well, you, in fact, can have more. AMAZING. I know. You can find Jay enjoying his new dig’s running the Football side of Razz.

  1. Tehol Beddict says:
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    Eastwood killed it at the convention and is one of the realest legends of all time. Never disrespect him again

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Tehol Beddict: like all actors. Shut the f**k up, make movies, entertain me.

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @J-FOH: he was mayor of Carmel for years. trust me, he knows politics.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Tehol Beddict: and sunny bono was mayor of Palm springs

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Tehol Beddict: Fun fact! I lived in Monterey when he was mayor of Carmel.

          • Ghost of the Dsappeared says:
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            @Jay:

            Tuhol: Eastwood is an reactionary and of the criminal class. He will be tried by a people;s tribunal someday and dealt with – if the tired old geezer lasts that long.

            That said, he does write surprisingly beautiful music.

            His transformation scenes in the “Forgiven”, starting with draining the whisky bottle when he finds out his partner has been killed, are the best moments in any Western ever. Kinda like Jay when he goes into those fantasy sport celeb draft teetering and tottering. Or so he claims.

            Did you go to college there, Jay? Great area, Monterey. The quintessential California in my mind. “Cannery Row” may be my favorite book of all time.

            • Jay

              Jay says:
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              @Ghost of the Dsappeared: Those were my pre-k years, so no. But I do love the area. My California secret, as you may already know, is Mendocino. Breath-taking little pocket area. (College, plus six years was in Seattle).

              Are we dating yet?

              • Ghost of the Dsappeared says:
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                @Jay:

                No. I’ll have dispose of Becky first. She doesn’t know.

                She frightens me. She frighten you too if you knew her.

                She put the Battle in Ax.

                  • Tehol Beddict says:
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                    @Jay: Ghosts of the lames,

                    you should be tried and beaten for speaking down on a legend. A tired old geezer who still directs films in his late 80s. what the F#ck do you do? Sound like an rpg guy to me. kudos

                  • Ghost of the Dsappeared says:
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                    @Jay:

                    Jay; Tuhol must have dated Clint in Hollywood and fallen in love. He is coming off quite butch tonight.

  2. Robby D says:
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    I don’t care, I thought Eastwood was hilarious.

    I quit laughing when you talked about owning Cargo and Tulo, because I have them in a 10 team H2H keeper league, and there isn’t much I can do about it when we keep 6. I have to hope I can get some guys that can replace one of those two for the future.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Robby D: oh, I hear ya. Sometimes its just out of your control…

  3. Joe G says:
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    Jay yadier molina and Nelson cruz or wil myers and Wilson Ramos which side you like better ?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Joe G: Myers side. It’s not that close either.

  4. JDW says:
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    Stanton went yard again today. :)

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @JDW: To be honest, I don’t really want to own him, he’s screwed me over a lot, but if he falls that far, you have to grab him…

  5. J-FOH says:
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    No coverage of the champions league draft?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @J-FOH: seriously

    • SteveNZ says:
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      @J-FOH: Thought FCL might have rated a mention too…

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @SteveNZ: I just pick a set of random leagues. No one league is better than the other.

        • SteveNZ says:
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          @Jay: Yeah, I know. I was just piling on JFOH’s bout of attention-seeking.

          • Jay

            Jay says:
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            @SteveNZ: That comes natural to him.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @J-FOH: You are a contributor, are you not? We got some open slots next week, I would love to read a draft recap of yours.

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Jay: I’m only playing in this league because I thought it was written about hahaha. it deserves some attention. I hereby nominate J-Foh and SKy to write a weekly joint piece on it. My team is so nasty. my god

  6. Ghost of the Dsappeared says:
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    Jay, my darling: You are really coming to a city near little ol me!

    I almost swooned at the news. This absolutely stunning never dreamed of news has taken my breath away, I tell you

    Let’s see?????????????

    I’ll have to do a whole new wardrobe. Nothing is right that I have now.

    And I’ll have to reschedule and move forward my annual tummy-tuck and botox injections.

    While I’m about it. I might have that more aggressive chin work done this year – that I’ve been putting it off due to the fear of becoming the Joan Rivers of RazzBall. But, it’s worth the risk to impress you, Jay. You dear Siberian dumpling, you

    I’ve got a million things to do. What first???? HHHHHHHHHHHHHmmmmmmmmmm????

    Got to go… Shopping of course!!!

    ***((( Front Door Slams))))

  7. Principle Blackman says:
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    I’m going to go out on a limb—it’s a strong, sturdy limb and I am not afraid—and say that Lee Van Cleef is the real badassMF’er in this movie. I mean his name is Angel Eyes for Pete’s sake.

    hmmmm…. why do I suddenly want a beer after reading this post….

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Principle Blackman: If you feel like you want a beer after reading this post, I did my job right.

  8. jake says:
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    That draft (for Take on Jay) was the most fun RCL draft yet. We had just the one auto-drafter. Also, it just CHUFFS ME TO FUCKING BITS that you liked my Giancarlo pick. Pride goes before the fall, though, or so I’m told.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @jake: Yup. One auto-drafter is pretty good…

  9. ashtray says:
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    We’ve had a guy in our league with a team name of Analrapist for years.

    Cool story, bro.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @ashtray: Then he gets the points.

  10. Ghost of the Dsappeared says:
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    Jay: Rules question for espn DL

    Will players who are FA be able to be placed on the DL… I know, this may seem like a silly question

    But, the rules of different FFB games are not based in logic.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Ghost of the Dsappeared: I’m pretty sure you have to add them to your active roster before you can DL them. This is really the first year I’ve delved into ESPN fantasy baseball. I’m usually a CBS/Fantrax guy.

      • Ghost of the Dsappeared says:
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        @Jay:

        The rules are light on “cases” there.

        I would think, it is only fair to have to carry them (FAs) on your bench until they sign with a MLB team. The DL is quite specific.

  11. Ghost of the Dsappeared says:
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    Yahoo is a joke —- 2 hours wasted trying to get into a draft with no joy… The future of the internet is in doubt. Yahoo is at war with Google it seems – the frigg’n NAZI B&%#$*dS

  12. A Hill O' Beans says:
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    Hey Jay,

    I’ve gotta say I loving the coverage of the various RCL drafts. I mean, it doesn’t hurt that my league, John Oleruds Helmut, got covered this week either. I’m happy to see my team got a “Good” and managed to avoid the “Bad” and the “Ugly”. Either way though it’s nice to see the RCLs getting some individual coverage.

  13. Craig kimbrel says:
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    The ugly – you breaking down teams that were obviously on auto draft

    I forgive you for not being smart enough to understand how I carry 3rd rd value.

  14. The Guru

    The Guru says:
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    Is next weeks post called “Every Which Way But Loose” or “The Beguiled?”

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @The Guru: Haven’t decided yet… but I think you’re close.

  15. The Strolg says:
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    We still need one, can you reset. $100 buy in, email me at carterfranz@hotmail.com for password. Everyone else in league has paid on league safe.

  16. ohjessicamarie says:
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    Some jagoff dropped out of my league this morning. :’(

    Draft is tomorrow, 3/20 at 9pm EST.

    Updated the spreadsheet but league link is: http://games.espn.go.com/flb/leagueoffice?leagueId=8221
    And password is: Goggles

    Help me, Razzballers. You’re my only hope.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @ohjessicamarie: The Razzballers are easily startled, but the Razzballers will be back, AND in greater numbers…

  17. Fish says:
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    I don’t see any mention of the _________(fill-in-the-blank with Bad or Ugly) decision of you leaving the draft early. That’s a beer-foul, my friend.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Fish: Might have been a date night. OR I passed out. Maybe both…

      • Fish says:
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        @Jay:

        “Hey sweetie, wanna watch me draft my 9th fantasy baseball team?!?! … Now you know how I feel everytime you suggest watching a Reese Witherspoon movie.”

  18. brett says:
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    Jay, I made an attempt at the all closer strategy in our rcl. It kinda worked, and kinda fell apart late when the league went on a closer run. Then completely apart when chapman gets drilled 20 min after I draft him. I am still going to run a similar strategy only now without having 9 closers and only 6. To keep with the theme, I am going to run 2-3 middle relievers and pick and choose a one man stream throughout the season until I go all Sp the last two weeks. My team ended up ok, although my outfield is bad…….real bad. Guess we will see if its a viable strategy or just a way to end up with a shit OF and no SP.

    • brett says:
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      @brett:
      Salvador Perez,
      1B Eric Hosmer,
      2B Robinson Cano,
      3B Brett Lawrie,
      SS Hanley Ramirez,
      2B/SS Brandon Phillips,
      1B/3B Carlos Santana,
      OF Curtis Granderson
      OF Alfonso Soriano,
      OF Nick Swisher, Cle
      OF Josh Hamilton,
      OF Melky Cabrera,
      UTIL Manny Machado,
      Bench Nick Castellanos,
      Bench Dee Gordon

      P Craig Kimbrel, Atl RP
      P Kenley Jansen
      P Ernesto Frieri,
      P Fernando Rodney,
      P Jose Veras,
      P Joaquin Benoit,
      P Jake McGee,
      P Aroldis Chapman
      P Jesse Crain,

      • brett says:
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        @brett: and a j Hamilton, machado, crain for Holland and kris davis trade. Helps with the high K closer strategy a bit but continues to kill my outfield. I want to find one more closer in a trade, any ideas who I should ship or target?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @brett: yeah, I’d hold.

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @brett: looks interesting. I feel like offense needs a litte more… oomph.

        Since I’m in 10 RCL’s, one league I tried a strat similar to this where I basically filled all my offensive spots first then went to pitching. It felt weird.

        • brett says:
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          @Jay: Espn loved it in their draft standings. That scares me. I’m gonna need to make a few moves, but hopefully that won’t be a problem.

        • brett says:
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          @Jay: I may be lookin for a high impact outfielder all year long. I don’t want to part with my infield to get it tho. Do you think I should or could cano, hanram, hosmer keep me afloat?

          • Jay

            Jay says:
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            @brett: should be okay… I might see how the first month goes.

        • brett says:
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          @Jay: I also noticed that a lot of teams in our rcl are rostering Middle relief. Is this always the case, or do you think taking all those high end closers onto one team made everyone roster closers in waiting. Looks like a holds league to me. I thought id be the only one rostering 9+ Rp, kid a seemed to do a similar strategy.

          • Jay

            Jay says:
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            @brett: you’re right, seems more this year.

        • brett says:
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          @Jay: seems weird to be in a league that doesn’t count holds, but Torres, Schweppes, Hernandez, Walden, Fields, Seigrest, Mcgee, Santos, Strop, mujica, qualls, o’day,melencon, farquar, soria, clippard, allen, and benoit all rostered. did I miss a category for holds.

          • Jay

            Jay says:
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            @brett: yeah, seems strange… but I’m seeing the same thing.

            • jake says:
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              @Jay:

              ERA and WHIP help, right?

              • Jay

                Jay says:
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                @jake: agreed. But I’d rather have some streaming room than some of those names.

                • jake says:
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                  @Jay: indeed, but i have found that in active leagues it is hard to find streaming options that you like. random Middle relief is boring but sometimes helpful.

                  THAT is too much though.

              • brett says:
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                @jake: I agree it is way too much. Not sure if that’s just the way the draft fell or if people were planning on rostering seigrest types. It killed me at the end of the draft when I thought people would be punting saves. Not sure what this will do to my strategy’s effectiveness. May help since the stream pool should be 15 or so more SP deep with all these rostered mid RP.

                • jake says:
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                  @brett: any other league and you’d get a better litmus test. good luck sir

                  • brett says:
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                    @jake: Thanks. We shall see how the full stream works out. I think you are right on with the league part. If it works in this it would crush in a less active and knowledgeable league.

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