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With 3/4 of the season over, it’s time to show your moxy and show up every day to play. This ain’t over, and you might be surprised how much ground can still be made up. Don’t start Trippin’ like you’re at the Disco! Yes that was a plug for a video I want you to watch. I’m trying to keep it light in here. Have a smoke and a pancake and just chill. Make smart moves, dump dead weight, start looking at your starting pitchers next 4 starts and see how many of those you will actually throw them, never leave your computer, always have your phone charged, stay away from daylight because you can burn your eyes out and not be able to play, slap your self awake (feel better? YES YOU DO!). Now do it again to avoid the caffeine jitters, feel that adrenaline run through you, just stay alive so you can win this and screw your job, money is over rated, women will ruin our good time and for god’s sake DON’T RELY ON BILLY BUTLER! I’m sorry, I ‘m losing it over here because not only am I trying to win a few leagues, I’m also working with the football side here at Razzball and I need you all to take our oath of allegiance (I pledge allegiance to the Razz…) and sign up for RCL football NOW!

Oh Jack, I don’t play football

 DON’T WHINE…SHUT UP AND PLAY!

But I’m a baseball guy, I don’t get it

LOT’S OF GIRLS PLAY FANTASY FOOTBALL YOU SISSY BOY, SHUT UP AND PLAY!

Why are you yelling at us?

BECAUSE I CAN, NOW SHUT UP AND PLAY!….please?

Great, thanks for playing. Now that I got out of the way. It’s time to start talking about you and by you I mean those of you in the RCL’s. If you’re not then please move on to the comments and ask me random questions. I’m kidding, read what you’re missing out on and hope Santa doesn’t skip you this year because you didn’t play an RCL. Yup, we got that kind of pull around here.

The RCL Top 10

Why the top-10? Because they’re the top-10 teams out of 1,000+? And that’s pretty amazing? I’m Ron Burgundy? Simply put, they’re the best of the best of the best, and I think they deserve a little bit recognition. BUT NOT TOO MUCH. Just a taste.

1 Goose Snausage Razzball 2014 112.4
2 The Dynasty Flatpoint High 111.4
3 Purple Mays Haze Take On The Jay(Wrong) Cinco! 110.2
4 Hannibal Montana Take On The Jay(Wrong) 107.5
5 Big League Wood Smokey’s Humidor 107.0
6 Militant Vegans Loogy On Your Windshield 106.7
7 Weird Meat Beef SAGNOF! 106.4
8 Colicky Fuddruckers GREYco Inc. 106.0
9 Hard Wood on Ball I Dream of RCL 105.4
10 Don Mattingly’s Sideburns Cougs R Us 104.7


The 2014 Razzball Commenter League Master Standings (Click on it. Seriously. Do it.)

RCL Highlights

Mr. Grey, Tear Down This Mauer! – We got a real tight one in here between the Minnesota Mink and the Philly Cuban. Is it me or does a Philly Cuban sound like a really delicious fusion sandwich? (Patent Pending) Last week both teams were in the overall top 50 and with a league index of 102 are getting some competition among their league mates. With Minnesota losing Goldy and the Dread Pirate and the Philly set to get Springer back soon we have the makings of a great finish. I say don’t count the Prague Defenestrators out yet either. With him and Philly about 40 game starts behind Minnesota we can see a final standings of Philly, Prague, and Minnesota depending how those starts go. Good luck you three and keep us posted in the comments.

 Cairo Century Cricketers – We got a tight three headed sprint to the finish between the BALCO Bombers, Port-Joli Gordos, and Long Balls. At first glance it looks like Long Balls has checked out recently and I hope they come back to play this one out. All three teams are competing in ERA, WHIP, and Saves. Game starts among the three is going to be the difference maker in this race as BALCO has a lot of ground to make up. I hope he uses Stream-o-Nator down the stretch and keeps this race tight. The league is sporting an index of 102 and as I click around I see a few different strategies being employed. With your league title I have to wonder whom from the other side of the pond set this one up. Gareth is this your league?
Hakuna Machado – Another battle to the finish and as you can see is what I like to highlight. Blowouts and ghost towns are not what I like to cover and this one has the makings of another great finish. Bay of Puigs is out front with Baltimore Scorioles and Styxx Zadina breathing down his neck. Lots of head to head battles in the standings can make this one really interesting. I like that Bay has been utilizing his moves with 176 and is looking ready to hold the others off if he keeps that up. Time to step it you two trailing the Bay and get those batty calls going.

THE RCL #1

The RCL #1, which sounds like a RCL made for 2001: Space Odyssey (Grey notified me that RCL #1 isn’t related to a space shuttle, but is meant to be said like The Iron Sheik. RCL #1! RCL #1! RCL #1!), is the Friends & Family league that Grey created so we could all be his fantasy baseball punching bags. Actually, maybe not so much punching bags as mustache combs. Seems more Grey-ish to Jay. I wasn’t invited so I’m not sure if I would be Grey’s punching bag. What I do know is I can say whatever I want because I’m not in there. With that being said I say “Why you dodging me Bro?” 

Regardless, this league stars Jay, Rudy, Tehol the Elder God, Prospector Scott, Paul, the Sing(ing)man, Nick the Podcast Host, and Sky… err, the Blue? We need to find you a better title buddy. But that’s us, that’s the family. Which, I can assure you, I’m already filing paperwork to gain emancipation. The friends are Dalton Del Don from Yahoo, Brad Johnson from FanGraphs, Ryan Carey of Mastersball, and Tim McLeod of RotoRob.

The Standings:

rcl 1 week 3

- This battle between Grey and Rudy is best summed up with the use of imagery. Two foes! Same knowledge! Same skill! Head to Head! in the THUNDERDOME!!!
yul b 2
- Oh and Yahoo Del Don has a chance too as he’s close in lots of categories.
- The only other battle in the RCL#1 is the Sky vs. Tehol battle for 10th place. Sky overtook Tehol and has him edged by 1 point. This league is a real nail biter on both ends! It looks like the battle for Wins and WHIP will decide it all….for 10th.

From Around The Web

  1. Kid A says:
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    I read all of this.

    Then I read an article that says it is perfectly safe for women to do yoga headstands while on their periods.

    I’m getting so worn out from the entertainment today, I’ll need a nap before noon.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Kid A: you rang?

      that’s why we have razzball radio, we are your one stop shop for entertainment. Have you considered a segment called Kid’s Corner? I got ideas my man….ideas.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Kid A, you get my thank you email?

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: no comment on my you vs rudy pic?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Reading now, was just commenting to Kid A

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          @J-FOH: Best picture of us ever… I want that framed on my wall, with a photoshopped mustache

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Grey: i couldn’t find a hair vs bald ying and yang symbol so I got the next best thing. Yul Brenner

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              It’s the King and I

        • Kid A says:
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          @J-FOH: It needs reassurance or it gets sad.

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Kid A: you have to feed the beast

      • Kid A says:
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        @Grey: I did. You’re very welcome.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          @Kid A: Cool, glad it didn’t go into your spam folder (I mean prior to you reading it)…

  2. Carnac says:
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    Come on, Sky… 12.5 pts behind Jay and 28 pts behind… NICK?? Pls know you can hit me up anytime if you need someone to monday morning quarterback your season for you.

      • Carnac says:
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        lmaoooo

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Mike’s running away with that

        • Carnac says:
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          Yeah, terrific performance across the board.

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Carnac: Mike has done well. He has such a great outfield. I was with him for a while but my lack of offense has killed me.

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Barely any moves too, which is damn hard in an RCL… I made 30 moves this week…

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Grey: the league index is 100 which in reality is only because i make a ton of moves. It’s more like a 12. shame on you writers league

    • Kid A says:
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      @Carnac: Jeepers Creepers, losing to a guy that also has the dead last team in the master standings is something that would give me nightmares.

  3. Carnac says:
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    Grey, you’re always wondering about crazy ownership #s in ESPN leagues? Turns out it’s not Karabell doesn’t have 1,000 fake teams, it’s all Nick.

    • Kid A says:
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      @Carnac: Oh so that’s Nick who has been keeping Dan Straily’s ownership at a steady 33% all year? It all makes sense now.

      • Carnac says:
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        That 0.2% ownership of Morrow? It’s because Nick only drafted him in his writers’ league.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Carnac: we can do this all day but he is one of the nicest people I have ever worked with

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Did the writer’s league go to 5×6 with Nice as a category? Cause that’s gonna disqualify you…

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Grey: I know, but I’m trying to put a positive spin on it for Nick. And yes if this was nice, I’d have 1 point

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                Not if you drafted Nick

              • Carnac says:
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                By the 2nd round of every draft in March, Jack: “Damn it, looks like I’m punting nice again this season.”

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Haha

                • J-FOH says:
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                  @Carnac: nice is an acronym for me as in Not In Creation Ever

          • Carnac says:
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            Yes, let me also state unequivocally, I’m a fan.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      HA! Thanks to Nick, Raul Ibanez is owned!

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: I’m inspired to do a hall of shame segment next week for abandoned teams

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          You should… Shame them…

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Grey: for reals, I can shame on RCL’ers? I can’t wait to write this one. I’ll try to keep it under 5,000 words. Old school Jack Full of Hate shall rise again.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Rise up, friend

              • J-FOH says:
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                @Grey: I might have to title it

                RCL Update: Not Safe For Work

                • Kid A says:
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                  @J-FOH: Seconded. Sink the ghost ships.

                  • de nachos says:
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                    @Kid A: @Kid A: all the abandoned team owners also thought they were going to train for that Tough Mudder and master Mandarin on Rosetta Stone. Oh the trying, it buuuurns

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      @de nachos: I try to poop between comments

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Hehe

        • Carnac says:
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          Ahhh that could be really good.

  4. de nachos says:
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    I have one move left in a QS points league. SON is giving $18+ love for Peavy vs CWS, Kennedy vs COL and Lackey vs SD I’m actually leaning Peavy with the career .182 BA against compared to Lackey .385 and Kennedy’s .283. What say you?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @de nachos: Kennedy

  5. de nachos says:
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    Nice. Don’t love the walks but the 2.43 era last 5 starts is looking good. Let’s go with it. Thanks.

    • de nachos says:
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      @de nachos: doubled up on him in FCL too. I’m coming for you Sky (said no woman, ever).

      • J-FOH says:
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        @de nachos: he is married you know, I’ve met his wife and everything

        • de nachos says:
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          @J-FOH: true. i will refrain from making innuendo about his love life/RCL team. plus also, too as my team has as much chance of catching him as Michael Taylor does of sticking with the Nats.

          • J-FOH says:
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            @de nachos: but at least you sound delicious

  6. de nachos says:
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    no nachos in house but yes to leftover wings, i’m gonna stay up and watch Head and Shoulders pitch against the Phils. Hoping Utley and Wilson have a sexy hair-off.

    • de nachos says:
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      @de nachos: speaking of, I keep forgetting to ask Grey and the other TV junkies if they’re watching The Leftovers. Waiting for Lindelof to throw a polar bear at us or disappear a major character without explanation “Walt” style, but so far I like it a lot.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @de nachos: you were another Lost watcher, talk about the biggest line of BS since weapons of mass destruction. It was good then we waited for it to et better and they never came to get us.

        • de nachos says:
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          @J-FOH: well at least my Michael taylor reverse jinx worked. Dong.

          • J-FOH says:
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            @de nachos: FFS ala SteveNZ

  7. T-Bone says:
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    Please tell me the broken link in the lede was supposed to be People Under The Stairs.

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