Before the NAAPP, National Association for the Advancement of Polish People, write me, it’s not Polish, it’s polish. Pa-lish. Not Pole-lish… Oh, forget it. David Murphy has a hit in every game this month and, with Hamilton out, he’s playing every day. In the month of September, he has a .380 average, 2 homers, 3 steals, 10 RBIs and 7 instances of “Who the hell is David Murphy?” from fantasy owners. Texas Rangers media guide has him listed as “That Guy” and a picture of William Fichtner. When Murphy goes to the plate, there’s no song playing. Know why? Cause he’s unsung! Thank you, don’t forget to tip your waitresses. I know the prevailing thought with Murphy is he’s a platoon player, but why does that have to be Murphy’s Law? Well, because he can’t hit lefties usually but he is right now, so, like a trophy wife, own while hot. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Emilio Bonifacio – If you picked up Bonifacio in April of 2009 in your keeper then were abducted by aliens, your team’s looking good again. The Xavier Nady pickup doesn’t look too bad either. Though you may want to switch out Cantu.
Michael Brantley – If you’re the kind of guy who draws a face on fruit right before you bite it just to show you’re in charge, then you know what I’m going to say, because I’m that guy too. Brantley = SAGNOF!
Wilson Betemit – It’s feast or famine with these peasant Royals. Mostly famine. Right now, it’s feast for Betemit. At any point, he’ll drop the boom and go back to MOS — ‘Mit out starting job.
Mike Aviles – Hitting .500 over the last week with 2 homers and a 1 steal. And that’s about all the enthusiasm I can drum up for him.
Clay Hensley – Did you ever want to call him Hay Clensley? Me too! Oh, and he’s the closer for the Marlins.
Chris Sale – I went over my Chris Sale fantasy the other day. Since then, Ozzie’s already ignored exactly what he said the day before, so is Sale the closer? No idea. If you can read Ozzie’s mind, you have my sympathy.
Juan Gutierrez – Has 5 saves this month. SAGNOF! And has only given up one run. Incredible!
Carlos Zambrano – Right now, CZ is looking like a diamond and should be owned.
Chris Narveson – Never Nervous Narveson has been solid since the All-Star break and the same can be said about last year. In fact, I just did. Not looking past Sunday’s start, but I like him there as you see at the borderline starters post.
James McDonald – I’m starting to think I might draft him in some leagues next year. Internal Monologue, “He pitches for the Pirates.” Okay, I’m starting to think I might consider drafting him.
Ian Kennedy – Not entirely sure why he isn’t owned in more than 30% of ESPN leagues, but when you consider 95% of ESPN are abandoned, he’s actually owned in a whopping 125% of leagues, so good luck picking him up!
Chris Young – Not exactly sure when Cristall Young will be starting in Petco, but that’s when I’d start him. Nowhere else unless you have a hankering for a spankering.
Josh Hamilton – I enjoyed this son of a gun (S.O.G.?) this year. He did work, son. Now he’s limping towards the ‘offs and the Rangers need him healthy so they aren’t going to play him much at all.
Gavin Floyd – You guys had some good times, which was invariably followed by bad times then good times then bad times — Make up your mind, Floyd! At this point, I’d set Gavin a sail.
Phil Hughes – This could really go for a lot of starters that were good earlier in the year. It ain’t earlier in the year anymore. Kapeesh or no kapeesh? ‘Stood or no stood? Y’hear or no y’hear?
Justin Upton – J-Upside’s been sitting on his backside and, let’s be honest, he wasn’t exactly killing it T.J. Lavin-style even when he was playing. You need to look elsewhere.
Leo Nunez – See 7 inches above or Clay Hensley or Hay Clensley.
Jimmy Rollins – At the rate his career is going, he’s gonna get batteries thrown at him at Citizens Flank in 2011 and cheered in 2012 when he returns with another team.
Mark Reynolds – A once heroic tale called, “Me and My Mini Donkey,” about a man affectionately referred to as Mini Donkey who hit homers, stole bases and struck out 200 times has turned sour. Mini Donkey can’t steal bases because of nagging injuries and has zero homers and is batting .079 in September. Then Robbie Williams, some guy no Americans have ever heard of, sued claiming “Me and My Mini Donkey” stole the chorus from “Me and My Monkey.” Reynolds lost the case and he had to return his 2009 season. A sad turn of events, indeed.