Pronk, a nickname for Travis Hafner which stands for Project Donkey, used to be cute, now it’s just stupid. Project Donkey? How about Project Jackass? When you drafted him, you wanted Josh Hamilton — Project Junkie — numbers. Not Project Flunky. David Eckstein, Project Spunky, is even better. Hafner looks like Project Monkey, which is a simian project that says 100 monkeys with a 100 bats can play pepper even if there’s a sign that says “No Pepper Games.” So, Hafner’s there, on your waivers, and you want some pop, what do you do hotshot? Do you pickup Hafner? No, you click Ignore. There’s lots of guys that are currently hot that you can use to plug-in for slumping hitters or injuries. If Hafner gets hot in a day or two, then grab him, but chances are he’s not going to be up to full speed until it’s too late. Maybe the Indians can send him to the Venezuelan Winter Leagues, so he can get hurt in November and then be ready for spring training. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brandon Phillips – Broken right index finger and his season comes to a close. I’m going to go over preseason projections vs. end of the season numbers in the off-season (we will have posts here all winter!), but I wanted to look real quick at what I wrote back in January, “Projections: 80/19/75/.240/25 and is benched in July because his slump is ‘all in his head.’” Well, he wasn’t benched until August for the slump that was “all in his head,” but let’s look at Brandon Phillips’s final numbers: 79/21/77/.262/23. Now, if you were here in April, this is not a surprise to you, but when he got hot in the beginning of the year, I told you to trade Brandon Phillips. And that’s me quoting me, linking to me and quoting me again!
Paul Konerko – Sprained MCL — which is not the Razzball Commenters League that is coming right down to the wire. Will it be the upstart girl? The other white meat? A dark horse? Stay tuned! Or not! That’s on you. — Konerko’s probably done for the year. You have to find someone else to hit home runs on your bench.
Andre Ethier – 23 for his last 46. That’s .500 or “What will win the NL West, Alex?”
Josh Anderson – Schmohawk I mentioned in Friday’s fantasy baseball players to get post, he stole a base yesterday and he’s been leading off for the Braves.
Wade LeBlanc – 6 IP, 1 ER. Risky going forward, but anyone who pitches their home games in Petco is a potential ace. I’m pointing my oversized foam finger at you, Baek.
Warner Madrigal – Got the save. Just when you think you understand what the Rangers are doing, they go and do some dumb shizz. This move is perplexing because Frank Francisco probably was available. Let’s hope Warner got the save because the Rangers wanted to see how he looked rather than anything being wrong with Francisco. Warner Madrigal? What’s that, a German songbird?
Alfredo Aceves – 7 IP, 1 ER. It’s been a while since Yankees fans had anything to get excited about, but Aceves looks like he could have some late-September value.
Troy Glaus – Day-to-day with a strained right shoulder. Look elsewhere.
Chris Volstad – Came out of the game when he was hit by a grounder. He should make his next start.
Dontrelle Willis – Skinny CC Sabathia will make a start next Monday against the A’s. Here’s hoping they let him hit so he has some value for the Tigers.
Carlos Delgado – 3-for-3, 2 HRs. He looks like a non-Latin 35 again.
Jeremy Sowers – 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks. He’s someone to look at down the stretch in your leagues.
Eugenio Velez – Perhaps driving in the winning run will earn him some playing time. Ivan Ochoa, the speedy schmohawk that did start, is oh-for-September. Those that have lost Phillips and/or Upton recently might want to keep an eye on Velez. (That’s if you have two good eyes. If you wear an eye patch, don’t waste your one good eye on Velez.)