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Pronk, a nickname for Travis Hafner which stands for Project Donkey, used to be cute, now it’s just stupid. Project Donkey? How about Project Jackass? When you drafted him, you wanted Josh Hamilton — Project Junkie — numbers. Not Project Flunky. David Eckstein, Project Spunky, is even better. Hafner looks like Project Monkey, which is a simian project that says 100 monkeys with a 100 bats can play pepper even if there’s a sign that says “No Pepper Games.” So, Hafner’s there, on your waivers, and you want some pop, what do you do hotshot? Do you pickup Hafner? No, you click Ignore. There’s lots of guys that are currently hot that you can use to plug-in for slumping hitters or injuries. If Hafner gets hot in a day or two, then grab him, but chances are he’s not going to be up to full speed until it’s too late. Maybe the Indians can send him to the Venezuelan Winter Leagues, so he can get hurt in November and then be ready for spring training. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brandon Phillips – Broken right index finger and his season comes to a close. I’m going to go over preseason projections vs. end of the season numbers in the off-season (we will have posts here all winter!), but I wanted to look real quick at what I wrote back in January, “Projections: 80/19/75/.240/25 and is benched in July because his slump is ‘all in his head.'” Well, he wasn’t benched until August for the slump that was “all in his head,” but let’s look at Brandon Phillips’s final numbers: 79/21/77/.262/23. Now, if you were here in April, this is not a surprise to you, but when he got hot in the beginning of the year, I told you to trade Brandon Phillips. And that’s me quoting me, linking to me and quoting me again!

Paul Konerko – Sprained MCL — which is not the Razzball Commenters League that is coming right down to the wire. Will it be the upstart girl? The other white meat? A dark horse? Stay tuned! Or not! That’s on you. — Konerko’s probably done for the year. You have to find someone else to hit home runs on your bench.

Andre Ethier – 23 for his last 46. That’s .500 or “What will win the NL West, Alex?”

Josh Anderson – Schmohawk I mentioned in Friday’s fantasy baseball players to get post, he stole a base yesterday and he’s been leading off for the Braves.

Wade LeBlanc – 6 IP, 1 ER. Risky going forward, but anyone who pitches their home games in Petco is a potential ace. I’m pointing my oversized foam finger at you, Baek.

Warner Madrigal – Got the save. Just when you think you understand what the Rangers are doing, they go and do some dumb shizz. This move is perplexing because Frank Francisco probably was available. Let’s hope Warner got the save because the Rangers wanted to see how he looked rather than anything being wrong with Francisco. Warner Madrigal? What’s that, a German songbird?

Alfredo Aceves – 7 IP, 1 ER. It’s been a while since Yankees fans had anything to get excited about, but Aceves looks like he could have some late-September value.

Troy Glaus – Day-to-day with a strained right shoulder. Look elsewhere.

Chris Volstad – Came out of the game when he was hit by a grounder. He should make his next start.

Dontrelle Willis – Skinny CC Sabathia will make a start next Monday against the A’s. Here’s hoping they let him hit so he has some value for the Tigers.

Carlos Delgado – 3-for-3, 2 HRs. He looks like a non-Latin 35 again.

Jeremy Sowers – 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks. He’s someone to look at down the stretch in your leagues.

Eugenio Velez – Perhaps driving in the winning run will earn him some playing time. Ivan Ochoa, the speedy schmohawk that did start, is oh-for-September. Those that have lost Phillips and/or Upton recently might want to keep an eye on Velez. (That’s if you have two good eyes. If you wear an eye patch, don’t waste your one good eye on Velez.)

From Around The Web

  1. SoS says:
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    Is Morrow a decent option tomorrow against the Angels? Don’t need a specific category really. Just need a decent line overall. Plus, the rest of the probable possibilities are lame-o. Thats right. Lame-o.

  2. Frank Rizzo says:
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    Surprised there was no mention of Papelboner being Kazaamed. That F just single handedly screwed me last night in my h2h. I take the L, I get a BSV, and he raised my ERA and WHIP. I’d like just one punch in that a-holes face. Just one.

  3. Hank

    Hank says:
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    “And that’s me quoting me, linking to me and quoting me again!”

    I think my head assploded.

  4. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @SoS: He looked more than serviceable against the Yanks and the Angels will probably be benching some key starters. Might not get a win, but you should get decent numbers.

    @Frank Rizzo: He wasn’t Kazaam’d. (Looks like someone needs to read up on the Razzball Glossary. On the left sidebar. Under Features.) He just blew a save. Crappy for the Sawx and for you, but it doesn’t have much fantasy baseball implications since he’s not losing his and he’s not possibly injured (that I know of). It was just a bad night.

    @Hank: Assploded? Are you trying to work in another one of your Urbandictionary words?

  5. Hank

    Hank says:
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    @Grey: Haha, I didn’t think about that. some one beat me to it:
    1. assplode
    A way of saying “explode” with a Spanish accent. To burst violently.
    That meth house is going to assplode one day.

  6. Hank

    Hank says:
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    So is Josh Hamilton “Prunk”?

  7. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Hank: Yeah, I guess so. And David Eckstein, by that logic, is his diminutive sidekick, Prunky.

    Love the example on assplode.

  8. knighttown says:
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    So I’m a little shy to start Lilly today against the Cards (protecting my 1.29 WHIP like Fort Knox) and if that’s the case, after looking ahead and seeing only CArds, Astros and Brewers in his future, I pulled the trigger on the drop as K’s are a lock for me.

    I could still use some wins just not at the expense of WHIP so my evil plan is to pick up Slowey for tonight against Royals and then drop him for Meche who gets Cleveland followed by Seattle.

    Should I get my fantasy baseball crown gilded yet?

  9. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @knighttown: Take the crown into the shop, put down a small deposit for the gilding, but don’t pick it up until October.

  10. Shogun says:
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    Any opinion about Ian Stewart, Kelly Johnson, Mike Aviles, and Marco Scutaro? Those are the bums available on waivers to replace Phillips.

    Stewart was hitting really well for a while until he recently cooled off. Ditto Aviles. Johnson’s been playing pretty well but is even more yawnstipating than the other two. I don’t know much about Scutaro, but I see he’s one of the top-ranked available 2Bs in the last month in Yahoo!.

    Which is the least-worst option?

  11. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Shogun: Kinda depends what you need. Do you need speed? Power? I’d look at Asdrubal, Aviles, Willie Harris, Ochoa or Velez, in that order. Stewart’s a possibility, but only at home I’d play him. So if you want to do a blahtoon of Asdrubal and Stewart, I could see that.

  12. royce! says:
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    Will Broxton lose the closer job this weekend, assuming Saito is able to return as expected?

  13. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @royce!: He might lose some opportunities, so he gets three saves instead of five, potentially. Or he gets two instead of four. You get the drift.

  14. Shogun says:
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    @Grey: Thanks for the advice. I forgot to mention what I was looking for in terms of categories. I decided to go with Aviles. Asdrubal just doesn’t hit enough for my needs. The injury bug has really been biting my team…

  15. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Shogun: Asdrubal’s batting .500 over the last seven games with 9 for his last 18. Cust kayin’.

    Yes, that’s Hot Asdrubal.

  16. Shogun says:
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    @Grey: I (thought I had) looked at his splits and they didn’t look very good. Maybe I was looking at the wrong Asdrubal? Anyway, I’ll keep an eye on him (I’ve got two decent ones, thanksfully). If Aviles slows down, I’ll fire him for Asdrubal.

  17. Steve says:
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    @Grey: He’s no bum, that’s for sure.

  18. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @royce!: Wow, that’s surprising. Thanks for the heads up. Looks like I can continue to swap him and Hawpe on my bench and miss every HR — joking. I just miss all of Konerko’s.

  19. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Are you starting Wood today, as it were?

    I currently have him slotted at 3B, Atkins at Util with Pena benched cos of his crappy record vs Beckett.

    Am I too keen to give Wood a start?

  20. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: No, I think that makes sense.

  21. Steve says:
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    @Grey: I have complete faith in your ability to see into the future.

  22. Hey Grey & others,

    Furcal is out there on waivers right now in my 12-team, 10-player keeper league. I tend to kind of hate those “here’s all my players now tell me who to keep for next year” questions; however, I’m still curious whether we think Furcal will be a top 120-ish fantasy player going into next season. I already have Rollins at SS, but could use some depth at the position, depending on whether I can use either as a trade chip next year if one or the other gets off to a hot start.

    I know Furcal’s supposed to come back next week vs. the Pirates. Wouldn’t expect too much from him the rest of ’08, but I’d also like to pick him up now for the offseason while he’s still out there.

  23. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @VanHammersly: Will you be dropping someone very valuable? If so, then no. I don’t see how it could hurt you to snag Furcal for next year. Do I think he’ll be a top 120-ish hitter? Yeah, probably. If he plays well in spring training, then definitely.

  24. Steve says:
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    I just fired up StatTracker (which shows me leading 7-4 :-)), but also shows Gregg (owned by my opponent) as getting a Hold sometime this week.

    I’ve checked the Yahoo box scores and he hasn’t been credited with one and he although he got the win yesterday. You can’t get a Hold and a win in the same game, can you? It certinly isn’t showing in yesterday’s box.

    Just more Yahoo craziness?

  25. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: He got a Hold and a Win yesterday, which is possible.

  26. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Hmm. Yes, I see.

    The old vulture Hold.

    I hope my opponent’s luck (he also has Wilson) regresses to the mean pretty soon.

  27. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Well, you have my sympathy, but Holds is a crappy category to play with, so you’re partially to blame.

  28. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Who are you – my wife?

    It is a bit of a crappy stat. Maybe the only thing I could say in its defence that it gives the MR some value in an H2H league that does not have any IP restrictions.

    Any chance you can conjure up a blown save for Wilson again today?

  29. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Maybe! You choose which question I’m answering with that.

  30. Steve says:
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    They call him The Sooth-grey-er.

  31. knighttown says:
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    Just an ugh week so far with these injuries. I finally get tool and dye shop to make a mold for my giant crown and now I’m dealing with petty day to day shit. I look tonight and it’s all little red “x’s” by my players.

    All month I’ve had Konerko hitting bench homers because I’ve played Butler, so today I drop Konerko and Butler takes the night off. Why isn’t he playing? Dickerson was supposed to be back Tuesday but now I’m hearing Friday and maybe not as the demi-God he was because he may not be able to run on the bad wheel. Choo has decided to take a personal day for some reason too and no sign of Upton. And by the time I saw all this, it was too late to put Hideki in at OF. So my 5 OF spots are filled with Denard Span, Nelson Cruz and Adam Dunn.

    No real question which means you all wasted your time….now I feel guilty, so, uh, do you think Dickerson with a bad ankle is any better than Rajai Davis? (HR don’t matter)

    Actually, I do have a question. It looks like Wigginton is doing very well and may be able to pinch hit this weekend. Should I add him for Aviles, Kuo, Dickerson, Cruz or Matsui?

  32. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @knighttown: What kind of Knight makes their own crown? You’re royalty, man! Act like it!

    I don’t want Rajai Davis for anything, unless he can prepare arepas. I like arepas.

    I’d add Wigginton over Hideki.

  33. royce! says:
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    Please stop conjuring blown saves for Wilson. I need saves and without Wilson would have an insane ERA and WHIP. Instead, they’re inane.

    Which brings me to this Q: one RP slot for a two week final- start:
    Wilson (13 games, 4@ARI, 3@LAD, 3 COL, 3 LAD),
    Broxton (13 games, 4 @PIT, 3@SF, 3 SD, 3 SF),
    or Francisco (12 games, 3@LAA, 3 DET, 3 LAA, 3 OAK)
    ?

  34. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @royce!: Sorry, I wasn’t even thinking about the people I was hurting with my powers of suggestion.

    Go Broxton.

  35. knighttown says:
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    @Grey: ’nuff said. You know how you stop thinking clearly during a week like this and Rajai Davis starts to look good? I equate it to the awful hag that starts to look hot after a night on the town, which is, as everyone knows, termed “Beer Goggles”.

    I propose, for the Razzball Glossery for when Rudy returns (is he coming back? Did you guys have a falling out? And if so, this is really uncomfortable that I brought it up in front of everyone.

    “Cricket chirps”…..anyway

    “Beerer Goggles” in honor of Scott Beerer, the Colorado Rockies pitcher who retired in 2006 with a lifetime 3-5 record, 4.82 ERA and 1.68 WHIP; a guy who may start to look good if he’s got the Nationals/Pirates back to back and you’ve been Greinke’d.

    Used in a sentance,
    “Holy shit, I lost Upton and Wiggington last week at 2B and for a moment there, I had the Beerer Glasses on and picked up Joe Inglett until Grey pulled me out of the fog.

  36. royce! says:
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    In the immortal words of Uncle Ben: “Just because you can beat him up doesn’t give you the right to. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility.”

  37. knighttown says:
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    @Grey:

    Oh, and what is an arepas? Or is that plural for arepa? I’m from Nova Scotia, quite possibly the least multi-cultural place on the planet. Ethnic dining is going to Subway and trying the new Sweet Onion Teriyaki sauce instead of regular mayonaisse.

  38. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @knighttown: Beerer Goggles — Wow, that’s awesome. I think that goes straight in.

    re: Rudy — He’s due back any day.

    @royce!: True.

  39. knighttown says:
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    @royce!:

    Uncle Ben should stick to making “ethnic rice dishes” like chicken and herb instead of giving us life lessons. Next we’ll be getting financial advice from Aunt Jemima.

  40. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey: Does anybody make a good tamale anymore? Seriously, I haven’t had one in ages.

    I think my league quit on me, all my hitters are slumping, I’m holding back innings to get the IP down, yet still hanging onto a 14 pt lead. It’s good to be the King.

  41. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: Tamales are as abundant as Priuses (Pre-i?) in LA. An arepa– Man, I’m hungry.

  42. royce! says:
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    @Grey: So true. I get killer tamales from a guy at the Shortstop every time I go to a Dodgers game and my wife drives a Prius.

    I’ve never had an arepa, though. Can you recommend somewhere in LA?

  43. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey: They’re as abundant in the Bootheel as Priuses also, which is to say there is one. And I already ate it.

    Someone should start a tamale stand that serves 25 for a buck, then they’d be as abundant as 1985 F-150’s with bull nuts hanging from the bumper and a confederate flag blowing from the CB antenna.

  44. royce! says:
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    Is someone with Yahoo trying to play a really dorky joke, or is there really someone named Randor Blerd?

  45. royce! says:
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    @royce!: Guess its true. Well, what do you expect from a team that lets Rocky Cherry close?

  46. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @royce!: They’re also called pupusas at Pupuserias all over the city. There’s one on Beverly Blvd. just east of Noshi Sushi that has good ones. Tell’m Grey sent you and get extra red sauce.

    @BigFatHippo: Ha!

  47. Steve says:
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    How annoying must it be for V-Mart owners (like my opponent, hehe) to see him strike out and then for Shoppach to follow him to the plate and go deep?

    Not as annoying as it would be to see it happen twice, I expect.

  48. BigFatHippo says:
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    Did you see Yadi take a Lilly to the nuts?

    Let’s just say he’s ain’t no Daisy, or a Lilly either. Man, I wouldn’t be able to walk after that, let alone catch.

  49. john says:
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    I was on cruise mode until Quentin and Phillips go down…thank god Quentin happened during my 1st place bye week but Phillips has the nerve to break his finger during my semi-final! Now who should i pick up for Phillips? options are: K. Johnson, T.Wiggington, Iwamura, Harriston, Casilla…..I’m leaning toward Wiggington since he might help to replace some of Phillips’ power, but I’m just too upset to see clearly and could use the help..

  50. royce! says:
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    @Grey: Oh, I didn’t know they were the same thing. I’ve never tried the place on Beverly, though, and I assume you’re talking about La Nueva Flor Blanca. According to a chowhound article, their pork is “porky.” Just how I like it!

  51. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @knighttown: Beerer Goggles has been added:

    http://razzball.com/fantasy-baseball-terms/

    Well done, my man.

    @john: Wigginton’s not coming back for a few days and who knows what the time off will have done to his swing. If those are the choices, I’d grab Kelly Johnson, Hairston then Wigginton. But Johnson may be on the bench against lefties, I’d watch his matchups. Then grab Wigginton during the weekend if he looks like he’s picking it up right where he left off.

    @royce!: It’s Randor Bierd. Punt.

    “Porky” — ha! I love chowhounds.

  52. royce! says:
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    @Grey: My bad. Bierd is way less funny. Blorg.

  53. john says:
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    @Grey: geez! i could handle these injuries during the reg season, but why the playoffs, whhhhhyyyyy? haha…thanks for the advice

  54. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey: Correct me if I’m wrong but I should be playing Nelson Cruz every day right?

    He’s the MVP of my bench while Sizemore, Ludwick and Hunter have been mostly craptastic.

  55. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @royce!: Oh, and I don’t know the name of the Pupuseria, but I’ve never had a bad one so follow your nose.

    @john: No problem.

    @BigFatHippo: Yeah, I’d start him over Double I.

  56. Steve says:
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    What the hucking fell is Hanrahan doing in there? Do the Nationals not realise that they are LOSING?

  57. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: If you get the vulture win, you’ll care?

  58. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Nope. I’m 4-0 down in wins already this week. A scoreless inning is much more valuable to me right now.

    Particularly as I have Ayala just witing to nail down a Save…

  59. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Kaazam! Never seems to fail. Unfortunately.

  60. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Well, looking on the bright side – at least Ayala has a little more margin for error.

    And my opponent had Wilson, Millwood and Pelfrey going today so his ERA and WHIP are deep in the toilet.

  61. wassup says:
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    who’s the best streamer tommorow. ubaldo, jair jurjens, or gavin floyd? drop mora? his return keeps getting postponed

  62. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @wassup: I’d go Floyd then Jurrjens. Both seems decent though depending on how tight your race for ratios is.

  63. Steve says:
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    It’s taken him all day (night?), but Pena has finally Sonavabenched me!

    Those Rays aren’t lying down for anyone.

  64. Nick says:
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    @Grey: What’s up with Markakis, how come he was benched today?

    Also is Cameron still worth holding onto with Dye, Markakis, Ethier, Delgado & Pence holding down my OF/UTIL or should I look somewhere else to plug my 2B or Catcher when matchups justify switching out K. Johnson/R. Doumit…

  65. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Nick: I haven’t read or heard anything, so I’m assuming it’s a long season and Markakis’s taking a day off.

    I would play matchups with Johnson rather than holding an extra OF. Kick Cameron to the curb.

  66. Steve says:
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    Any point in hanging on to Konerko? Got a gap I need to fill tomorrow.

    Hard to see him being as hot as he was pre-injury.

  67. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: There’s so little time and with playoffs, I say you go for the best bet tomorrow. If that means dropping Konerko, I think you have to do it.

  68. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Dumped him for Nelson Cruz. Up 7-3 and it’s just a filler for a day so went for the hot hand/upside.

  69. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: That makes sense.

    ******TAKE FOLLOWUPS TO THE NEWEST POST.

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